Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. I only own the plot so please do not sue me. My salary isn't that high.
Warning: I actually do not believe in putting up a warning for male slash but I'll do it anyways so I won't have to listen to homophobes bitch and moan about it. This story contains male slash. You have been warned, so if you don't like it - scoot!
A/N: To the rest of you who actually stayed…WELCOME! See I'm not an actual bitch. I just don't like close-minded people. So this is a story I wrote about a year ago (so have that in mind while you read), I just never finished it but here it is. I believe that this is the longest story I have ever written, chapter wise.
Oh well…enjoy!
Apple of my eye
Have you ever tried to study in a library all alone? At night? A dark, Friday night? All alone in a library, just before curfew?
Well it's not much fun I tell you. And Remus Lupin knew this very well as he sat in the corner of the library and opened his mouth wide, yawning. After he closed his mouth he had to wipe some drool away. Apparently he was very tired and just about done with all his studies. He figured that whatever was left he could do it in the morning.
It was pathetic really how he studied on a Friday night. Every normal boy his age was out, having fun with their friends or some girl. He was up half the night to study. How could the world be so screwed up?
Oh not that he actually WANTED to go on dates. Normally all four of them would spend some time together on Friday nights but it just so happened this Friday night that both Sirius and James had dates and Peter was down with some horrid cold so he was in his bed high on cold medicine. So Remus was pretty much left to do whatever he wanted.
At the moment he was slowly gathering his school books, muttering to himself about Merlin only knows what.
As he did so, he noticed a growing need. The need was getting more and more urgent. He heard his heart beat in his chest and his mouth watered. All of a sudden he was more alert than before.
He needed some chocolate! He needed it so bad he actually started drooling an unguarded minute.
So with some drool hanging from his mouth he quickly ran to the Gryffindor common room. His need just grew more and more. He needed the chocolate so bad.
He burst into the seventh year's dorm and started throwing his things around to find the chocolate. Or anything sweet really. Anything would have been good for him. He just needed sugar and he needed it bad.
He growled like a mad dog in heat and tore one of his shirts in the process. He cursed colourfully and highly unlike him. After all he was always considered as the calm, collected type of person. He always knew how to keep his calm but this time was different.
This time there were only a few days left until the full moon and it was affecting him greatly.
His hands were sweaty and his long, curly hair was hanging in his eyes.
The eyes were the ones that held the biggest change. They were stormy and gleamed almost madly in the dark.
He gave up. He couldn't find any chocolate in his trunk or anywhere else among his things really. He needed it though. He needed the sugar.
He turned to the bed next to his. Sirius' bed. A thought struck him and for a moment he stood completely still. Then his shoulders sagged somewhat and he sighed a little.
No, he couldn't do THAT! He couldn't go through Sirius' stuff only to find something sweet.
He couldn't, no that was impossible, no, no, no. Bad Remus! Bad feet, very bad feet!
"Oh what the hell…he won't notice it!" his feet had betrayed him and walked hastily toward his friend's bed.
He opened the trunk frantically and went through the mess in there but found nothing. In his wild search, he even removed the bed covers and threw them on the floor, searching behind pillows and holes in the mattress where sweets could have been hidden. He found nothing. Nothing at all.
"Oh, this is pointless. And look what I've done to Siri's bed" he sighed defeated and fell down on the bed, face first, inhaling the musky scent of the covers. Siri's scent.
Weird, he'd never though of how much he liked that scent. But he suddenly realized he really did. He liked the sweetness of it and the way it made him comfortable and how it was making him smile just thinking about Siri now that he was surrounded with the intoxicating smell.
Somehow the thought of Siri being on a date with some girl was bothering him now, making him feel some sort of weird feeling in his heart. Making him wish Siri was there with him instead.
That was an irrational and very selfish thought though. He knew that but he couldn't help feeling that way.
Once again he sighed and had the decency to blush a little at his selfishness as he pushed himself further up on the bed.
His head was hanging down on the other side now and he had a good view under the bed.
"Ugh, what a mess." He said as he screwed up his nose in a grimace. He looked more closely and almost wished he hadn't.
There was a pile of old, used socks in one corner and a dusty t-shirt in the other. Lots of torn and used magazines and dust-bunnies everywhere.
Just as he was about to move back up on the bed completely, he saw something hidden among all the junk in a corner.
It gleamed a little in the darkness and Remus couldn't help looking once again. He looked more closely. So close in fact that he didn't notice when he slipped from the bed and landed on his nose.
Now he could see the gleaming thing even better. Though his nose was a bit sore. He held it and caressed it affectionately, pouting a little as he dove under the bed to retrieve whatever that thing was.
In the process he managed to hit his head on the side of the bed but once he was out, dust bunnies all over him, he had a happy little smile gracing his pink lips.
He was now holding a bottle in his hands. He didn't know what was in the bottle but that didn't matter at the moment. He had made a huge discovery. Sirius probably didn't even know there was bottle of unidentified liquid under his bed. He'd show the bottle to him in the morning though, he decided happily.
But he was curious as to what it held. The bottle wasn't see-through so he couldn't see the colour of it. Ah he'd just open the bottle and look at the colour of whatever was in it.
He unscrewed the cap and a sweet and strong scent crept up into his nostrils.
"Apples!" he exclaimed loudly as the sweet scent got stronger. He held the bottle under his nose and inhaled deeply.
"Oh, this must be apple juice!" Now he was absolutely positive Sirius didn't know about the bottle. Who would leave a whole bottle of apple juice under their bed and just not drink it? He would have to enlighten Sirius about this in the morning. But right now he felt really thirsty and wanted to take a sip and taste the juice. Surely Sirius wouldn't mind if he just took a sip.
He lifted the bottle to his mouth and took a sip of it.
It tasted nothing like he had imagined it. It still tasted like apples but it had a strong taste and it burned his throat a little.
"Weird apple juice." He croaked, but as he got used to the taste in his mouth he found himself craving for more.
He drank some more, thinking some more couldn't hurt. Beside, Sirius didn't even know about the bottle. And maybe that was just it! Sirius probably hid the bottle under his bed some time ago, thinking he would drink it later but then he forgot about it and the apple juice must have changed a bit since. Because it didn't taste like it had gone bad, just somehow changed flavour.
Later, he would look back at his reasoning and think that it was totally irrational but at the moment the moon and fatigue had already affected his brain and this reasoning seemed most rational.
So twenty minutes and half a bottle of apple juice later he felt quite happy and his cheeks had gained a nice red colour. His head was spinning a little as he sat there on the floor beside Sirius' bed. So he decided it would be a good idea to sit up on it instead.
He grabbed the bedcovers from the floor and wrapped himself in them clumsily, tripping a few times in the process. Finally he tripped on the bed face first and from there he wormed his way up until he was lying on the bed completely.
In this position, with the covers tangled around him, he realized he couldn't move much. He had to free his hands so he would be able to do something other than rolling around on the bed. He rolled to his side and he felt the covers tighten instead of loosening like he had expected to. Now he was even more trapped.
He turned back on his stomach and then to his other side and the covers finally loosened so much so he could free one arm. With that one arm he searched the floor for the discarded bottle. He was feeling a bit thirsty again after struggling with the covers.
He lifted the bottle to his lips again but his hand slipped and he spilled juice all over himself.
He struggled a little until he was in a position so he could drink without spilling and emptied the bottle.
After throwing the bottle into a corner on a shirt so it wouldn't make much noise, he wiggled into a more comfortable position, letting the covers loosen around him a little so his legs were free. He lifted his free arm and started lazily doodling in the air while he hummed a song he just came up with.
"I'm a little werewolf, small and nice. When the full moon rises I eat mice…" when he sang this part he started giggling and looked toward Peter's bed.
After a while he became sleepy so he stopped singing and just watched the moon through the window. Slowly his eyes became heavier and he closed them thinking it would be better in a few minutes. But before he knew it he had drifted off into a deep slumber.
Pain. Horrible pain.
Those were the only words Sirius Black could come up with to describe the girl he was with right now.
She was giggling like some sort of a lunatic at something he had just said and the sound made him want to jump into the closest lake and sink to the bottom of it.
"Hey, Sirius. Why don't we go somewhere private and more comfortable?" she said, suddenly much too close for comfort. Her lips were close to his ear and it made him shiver with a want. A want to push her away and run. Run fast.
Why did he always end up in these situations? Lately, whenever he was on a date, for some reason he found a flaw in his date and he would only focus on that one flaw and make it much bigger than it really was. This resulted in him walking away after some time.
The whole flirting part went better than ever but when it came to the actual date he always realized he didn't want it. All his dates were missing something he couldn't quite put his finger on.
They were all pretty and mostly nice to chat with. This one was an exception. She was actually pretty slutty and seemed to know exactly how to use her body to get what she wanted.
Well this time she didn't get it.
As she leaned in to kiss him on the lips he put up his hand and pushed her away before she could even begin to understand what had happened.
Sirius didn't want to see the hurt and confused look in her face so he looked at the floor.
"I'm very sorry but this is not going to work out." He said with a calm voice. He really was sorry. He was kicking himself mentally because of what he just did. He could have fucked her at least. Then the pressure might have become a little less painful.
But he couldn't do that. He was no Slytherin and he didn't want to use a person like that. Even though she was the kind of girl everyone used and he knew she liked it that way. Mostly because she didn't know any better.
It also felt wrong doing it because of him. Because it would have felt like he was going against something sacred. He didn't know what that sacred thing might have been but he had this feeling in his chest. He knew he would have felt awful afterwards breaking that sacred promise.
He was no virgin. He was 17 years old. With hormones and boy did have lots of those or what! But after doing it a few times he just felt like the sex alone wasn't what he wanted.
What he wanted though, was a mystery even to him.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked sounding a little more than just annoyed. She tapped her feet against the floor and when Sirius glanced at her he saw that she was close to exploding. He looked at her steadily now. He could handle this. Anger he could handle. It was the pain he hated.
"I mean I don't think we are a good match. Even though this was our first date I feel that I don't want to go on another one." he said coldly and started to walk away but was stopped by a hand on his arm.
"So let it be our only date. I don't mind." She smiled and licked her lips seductively while she batted her eyelashes and let her brown eyes travel down his body. She looked like she was ready to get it on there and then, no room, no bed, no privacy needed.
Fortunately for Sirius he only got annoyed by this and pushed her away again, this time with a little more force.
"I said no. Now, good night." He said coldly as he walked away quickly before she had the time to protest or stop him again.
Why did his dates always turn out like this? He always though it was a good idea before the actual date. Why was it that every time things started to heat up he backed out of it? What was it he wanted?
He sighed and kicked the nearest wall as he quickly made his way to the Gryffindor dorms. Sleep suddenly seemed like a very nice idea.
As Sirius walked through the portrait hole that led to the Gryffindor common room, he saw James and Lily who were on their way there too. They were probably coming back from their date. It was probably still going on though.
As he watched them he got some sort of a weird feeling in his stomach. He felt like he really didn't want to see them right now. He didn't want to see the affection they held in their eyes whenever they looked at each other. He just couldn't handle that at the moment.
Quickly he dashed up to the boy's dorm. As the door closed behind him he felt relieved. He sank to the floor and breathed out a few times.
Suddenly something caught his eyes. In front of him was a pillow. He reached out to take it and briefly wondered whom it belonged to.
He twisted it around a few times looking for signs and in a corner he found two letters.
"R.L.?" he whispered to himself. It was Remmie's pillow. That was strange since the only boy in their dorm that didn't leave his things all over the room, was Remmie.
He took the pillow and walked toward Remus' bed with it. But as he got closer he got another shock. The bed looked like a disaster. It looked like some loon had gone berserk on it. And Remus was nowhere in it. He looked around in panic and his eyes fell on his own bed.
"Oh my God." He whispered. Who could have done this to their beds? And where was Remmie? Why wasn't he anywhere? Sirius' heart tightened in his chest and he went cold inside. What if something had happened to Remmie?
He gripped the pillow tighter to his chest and dashed over to his own bed to examine the damage.
It wasn't bad. His things were everywhere. He was used to that. But there was a lump in his bedcovers. A rather huge lump actually. He went closer to take a look at it. He poked it but didn't get a reaction. He sniffed it and turned around wrinkling his nose.
"Eww! There's a drunken bastard in my bed!" he exclaimed.
His voice seemed to have some effect on the lump under the covers because it moved slightly. The bedcovers fell off of the lump and revealed the drunken person that occupied Sirius' bed at the moment.
"Remmie?" Sirius whispered, absolutely dumbstruck by this revelation. Remus was the last person he expected lying in his bed and drunk, if the scent he was giving off was anything to go by.
His heartbeat stilled a little and all his worries disappeared. At least Remmie seemed to be fine. But what a mess he had done!
Sirius smiled a little and sat down on the edge of the bed and started wondering who would be the one cleaning this mess up.
It was very unlike Remus to do something like this. And where did he get the alcohol anyway? As he looked over his friend he saw the bottle tightly clutched in his hands.
"So you found my secret bottle?" Sirius sniggered as he leaned over the bed to pry Remus' fingers apart and take the bottle from his hands.
It was quite the task seeing as how Remus refused to let go of it. Sirius didn't want to wake him so he had to be gentle. At long last Remus gave in and let the bottle go. Sirius set it aside and sat down on the bed again, watching his sleeping friend.
"What am I going to do with you?" he sighed and let his hand drop on top of the other boy's head and started caressing his hair. Surprisingly it was very soft and Sirius got a weird, happy feeling in his chest at the softness of the curls.
Remus moved closer to him in his sleep and his hand crept up his arm and started clutching it. He had a cute blush on his face, courtesy of the alcohol most likely and his mouth was half open and he was even drooling a little. Sirius found this utterly hilarious and so very cute. He smiled at his friend and thanked whatever powers that allowed him to have such a nice friend.
His heart was beating so hard now and he didn't understand why. It felt so nice being so close to Remus. And he was so cute, even with the drooling.
He took off his shoes carefully, not moving his arm away so he wouldn't wake Remus. When he was done he crept in under the bed and arranged the bedcovers around them so they wouldn't be cold during the night.
He was clumsy though and as he threw the covers over Remus his arm moved and he nudged him a little. The boy moved a little in his sleep and his eyes opened slowly.
At first it seemed he couldn't see anything. That he wasn't even aware of anything but then his eyes locked on Sirius' eyes and he smiled a very drunken smile.
Sirius felt his face heathen and his heartbeats increase. Remus looked so cute now and it made him think and feel things he knew he wasn't supposed to.
He felt Remus' hand let go of his arm and instead of clutching him, slowly and clumsily his hand crept up to his face and caressed his cheek. Sirius leaned into the caress and his own hand sneaked over Remus' waist.
Remus' eyes looked so radiant. Even through the drunken haze, Sirius saw an emotion in those beautiful eyes. An emotion he had never seen before and could not call by name. He knew it was an emotion that had nothing to do with Remus' drunken state. But rather this state was the reason Remus let it show.
"Oh, Siri…" he breathed huskily and Sirius got a face full of Remus drunken breath. He didn't care much but it certainly ruined the special mood and it reminded him that Remus was in a delicate state and that he could not take advantage of it.
"Siri…" Remus called again, reaching for Sirius with his other hand too. Sirius understood that Remus wanted him to hold him. This realization was tearing him in two. He really wanted to hold the boy. He wanted it so much that his chest was aching and he was already reaching for his friend with his other hand. In the last second he thought better of it though.
He couldn't do this. He knew he wanted to do a lot more than just hold Remus. If he took the step, he knew he wouldn't be able to go back. And even though Remus seemed more than willing now, he wasn't so sure what the boy's reaction would be in the morning. He really didn't want to hurt his friend. He just wanted to protect him.
"Siri?" Remus asked with a pout on his lips. His eyes started to water and the shone brightly with unshed tears. They looked like the deepest pools of water with the moonlight reflecting from them and those eyes were slowly killing Sirius from the inside. He just couldn't deny them anything.
"Siri…won't you hold me, Siri? Please?" Remus said with a tiny voice. He was absolutely adorable. And that was an understatement. He was so…breathtaking. Sirius couldn't' find words for the beauty that was Remus. He didn't understand why he hadn't seen it before now.
Sure, he always knew Remus was cute and sometimes he felt a little hot when Remus was close to him but never, he had never been quite like this before.
Suddenly he let go of everything that held him back and gave in. Gave in to Remus, gave in to his feelings for the other boy. He didn't care about tomorrow. If he could hold Remus just once, just tonight, he didn't care about anything anymore.
He leaned down and took the smaller boy into his arms carefully. He felt Remus' arms wrap themselves around his neck and his hot breath against his neck as the other boy exhaled happily.
A hot rush of mixed feelings came over him and he tightened his hold around the smaller boy's body. He felt like Remus was the only thing keeping him down on earth. He felt that if he let go of him now, he'd float far, far away and would probably never be able to come back.
He felt Remus' hot breath tickling his neck. It teased him mercilessly. The boy he held in his arms seemed all but innocent. He seemed very tempting and teasing. If he didn't know any better he'd have thought Remmie was doing this on purpose, just to test his boundaries.
The world around him reduced into nothing and all that existed was Remus' body tightly cuddled to his own. His body was so sensitive to every touch, every breath from the smaller boy that he was sure he was going mad. All this just from holding him. His happiness was indescribable. He expected to die from a heart attack any minute.
"Oh, Sirwi…you're the appwel of mwy eye." he heard Remus slur into his ear. That brought him down to Earth again and he came to his senses.
What he was doing was wrong. Remus was drunk. That was why he was doing weird things like this. He couldn't do this to him. No matter how good it felt, no matter how willing Remus seemed. He reminded himself over and over again.
"Speaking of appwels!" Remus exclaimed and jumped up clumsily but he lost his balance and fell face first onto Sirius' chest.
"Did you know you had this weird apple-juice under your bewd?" Remus looked up at him with huge innocent eyes. They shone with drunken happiness and looked very unfocused.
"Umm…yes, I did." Sirius answered, his face still hot from Remus being so close to him. Suddenly he came up with an idea.
"Listen, Moony. Now that you're awake and all, I think you really should get a bath. It'll make you feel better and you won't feel so bad in the morning. How about it?" he offered. He knew it was true by experience.
"Don't wanna!" Remus exclaimed shaking his head and trying to hide his face deeper into Sirius' chest.
Sirius in his turn did not know how to react. He didn't know whether to laugh at the cuteness or blush at how Remus was trying to hold him closer like he was afraid Sirius would disappear into nothingness.
"Moony, please. You'll sleep better. I'll help you if you want to." He tried. And by the look he received, he was sure he was successful. Remus was now looking at him with hopeful eyes.
"You will? You'll be there too? You promise?" he asked a bit suspicious but with growing enthusiasm.
"Yes, yes. I'll be there. Scrub your back, whatever you want." Sirius promised, happy about getting Remus' agreement.
So happy in fact that he didn't even think about the risks involved in this little bath.
He just sat up in the bed, dragging a very intoxicated Remus with him. He put an arm around the smaller boy's waist and another one under his knees and hauled him over his lap. Then he moved off the bed and stood up.
Remus giggled delightfully at this.
"Oh, Siri! Now I feel like I'm your bride!" he exclaimed happily looking into Sirius' eyes. The black haired youth blushed at this and looked away.
"Don't say such stupid things. A boy can't be anyone's bride." He muttered under his breath.
"Well, bugger that! I'll be your bride anyway! Don't you think I'm pretty enough?" Remus asked with that adorable pout of his. Sirius looked at it and had the urge to kiss his pouting lips. He shook his head a little to clear his mind from such absurd thoughts.
"Of course you are." He said, figuring that arguing would only make this situation worse. Besides, he couldn't argue with that even if he wanted to. Remus was very pretty. No very cute, and just so sexy that…He stopped his thoughts before they went out of hand and moved Remus into a more comfortable position in his arms and started walking toward the bathroom.
When they arrived, he tried to put Remus down on the floor while he got the water ready in the tub. But it was all in vain. Remus would not let go of him.
"No! I want you to promise me that you'll make me your bride!" he exclaimed. This little outburst surprised Sirius so much that he almost dropped Remus to the floor. His face became red again and he looked at Remus with disbelief written all over his face. What was Remus saying? Why was he saying things like this? Was he just playing with him? Even though he was drunk, why was he saying these things? Didn't he know how this made him feel?
Then again, he thought, Remus was in fact drunk and probably wouldn't even remember this. Still it made him so unsettled he didn't know how to react.
"Watch it Siri! What kind of a groom are you anyway? Dropping your precious bride like this!" Remus teased and kissed him sloppily on the cheek.
Sirius felt his stomach become one big lump of nerves as he once again tried to put Remus on the floor. This time the boy let go but not before grabbing the collar of Sirius' shirt and pulling him down before he could get away.
It all happened so fast that Sirius hardly had any time to register it before it was all over.
Suddenly he felt a pair of soft and slightly wet lips on his own. Quickly they parted and a hot, wet, little tongue caressed his lips, parting them demandingly and quickly, clumsily exploring his mouth. Then as quickly as it came the tongue slipped back into its owner's mouth and the hands let him go.
Only he couldn't move. He just stared at his friend, utterly deprived of words. His mind was blank. He slightly registered a predatory glint in Remus' eyes and heard him say something like…
"Remember, you're my groom, Siri." before he was pushed back again so he fell on his behind.
The predatory look in Remus eyes changed so fast, Sirius hardly had any time to witness the change. In the blink of an eye it was gone and was replaced by that innocent look again.
Remus' cheeks became a little more flushed as he somewhere in his drunken mind realized what he had done. He didn't seem to regret it though or anything of the sort. In fact, he seemed quite happy about it as he sat there smiling at Sirius.
Sirius in his turn sat there and gaped at him like a fish thrown onto dry land.
This did not just happen! Remus did not just kiss him! The rational part of his brain begged to differ though and it just gave up because the shock was too big for it.
Here he had been trying to think of Remus and how he might feel violated in the morning if he remembered anything like this and then Remus goes and kisses him! Was this some sort of punishment for his sins in a past life? Was that why he was being put under such temptation?
Slowly he regained his control again as Remus kept staring at him with that cute smile. It was hard not to just throw himself on his friend and have his wicked way with him. He managed though.
"A-all right now, Remmie. I-I'll just prepare the water for you and then you'll get your bath." he said as he stood and held onto the wall for support. His knees were trying to betray him and let him fall to the floor but he was smarter than that and forced them to stay in place.
The memory of the kiss still made him shiver and the taste of Remus' lips made him ache for more but he tried not to think so much about it. Tried to ignore it desperately and focused on the bath instead.
He let the tub fill up and he even put some bubbles in it. The bubbles flew all around and they smelled nice. Out of the corner of his eyes, he looked at Remus who was trying to catch them lazily with one hand. He was so cute! Sirius had to suppress a chuckle.
"All right now. I'll go out and get you some pyjamas. You should get undressed and get into the tub. All right?" he instructed sounding a lot more composed about it than he felt. In reality he was questioning his sanity for suggesting this bath but he knew he had to help the boy. He knew it would do him good. The best thing would be a cold shower to get rid of most of the effects of the alcohol and get him sober but that would just be way too cruel. He also knew there were some sober-up-potions. But the one who owned them was Madam Pomfrey. The ones he had "borrowed" from her were long gone.
So now he was stuck with taking care of his drunken and oh so tempting, friend. Oh joy. He muttered various curses on his way out of the bathroom while Remus was trying to hold him back, whining something about not wanting him to leave him. Finally he freed himself and fled the bathroom, hoping that when he got back he would find Remus in the bathtub. Preferably without clothes.
That thought made him blush and curse even more colourfully.
He searched Remus' trunk for his pyjamas. It was quite the task seeing as how Remus had gone berserk all over the room and his things were thrown everywhere.
Finally he found what he searched for, deep down in the trunk. With a smile of victory and a mental pat on his back he stood and was just going to turn around and walk away when something caught his eye.
Something fell out of the pocket of the pyjama shirt and landed on the floor. Usually he wouldn't have cared much about it and just left it where it was but this object wasn't at all familiar to him. So curiosity got the better and he looked.
It was a photograph. And not just any photograph but it was a photograph taken of the two of them. He hadn't seen it before, he knew that much.
He was leaning against a tree. It was a nice summer day and by looks of it, it was quite hot too. So the two of them were sitting under that tree. Sirius leaning against it and Remus' head resting on his lap. The boy had fallen asleep with a book in his hands and Sirius was close to sleep as well. He was looking far off into the distance with a tender smile on his lips as he caressed Remus' soft hair.
Sirius smiled as he was reminded of that day. It was such a great day. It was last summer after all their exams. It was a weekend and the four of them decided to spend the day outside. He and James had made fun of Snape like never before and when they got tired of that they just decided to rest under that tree. Soon Lily joined them and then she and James disappeared somewhere. Peter got very tired and went up to their dorm to sleep and he and Remus were left alone. It was a great memory.
Only he didn't remember who took the picture. And how did Remus get it? Why had he never shown it to him? And why was he keeping it in his pyjamas?
Oh well, he would just have to ask the boy about it in the morning. He put the photo back into the pocket and walked back to the bathroom.
To his relief, when he entered the bathroom, he found Remus nicely undressed and in the tub, playing with the bubbles.
He smiled and put the pyjamas on the floor then walked to the tub. Remus saw him and beamed at him happily.
"Oh Siri! You're back!" he seemed a little more sober now. But his eyes were still a bit hazy. He blew some bubbles into Sirius' face and laughed heartily at his own mischief.
Sirius wrinkled his nose in mock-disgust. Remus laughed even more and blew some more bubbles at him.
"Oh, now you're in trouble!" Sirius said warningly. He rolled up his sleeves and put his hand into the water and splashed some water into Remus' face. The smaller boy squealed with laughter and tried to get away and splash back some water at Sirius.
They continued this game until there was water everywhere and they were both out of breath.
"Oh Siri! Haha! You look like a soaked cat!" Remus exclaimed happily, chuckling at the sight.
"Cat? A cat! Why a bloody cat! I am a dog, thank you very much! Now you hurt my dog-pride! I will never forgive you!" Sirius said and turned his head away in mock-hurt.
Remus laughed happily at this and reached out and turned the dark-haired boy's face so that he would face him.
Before Sirius could react, he found himself being kissed again. This time on the cheek. And when he looked at Remus, he didn't see the predatory look, just a mischievous little smile.
"Forgive me now?" the other boy asked jokingly. He was snapped out of his surprise and smiled back.
"I might." He said, pretending to think about it. "If you let me scrub your back so we can get out of here and go to bed. I'm beat." He said and he let his head fall forward and rest on the edge of the tub to prove his point. Remus laughed again and ruffled his soaked hair, nodding his agreement.
The boy turned around in the tub and let his friend scrub him and wash his hair, purring contently from time to time.
When Sirius was finished with cleaning his friend, he held up a huge towel and told Remus to stand up, while he looked away, blushing.
"I'm up!" Remus exclaimed and Sirius wrapped his arms around the other boy, covering him with the towel.
Remus was shivering a little as his wet skin was now exposed to the cold air. Sirius lifted him quickly and put him down again to stand in front of him, while he dried his friend off quickly so he wouldn't catch a cold.
When he was finished, Remus had a grateful expression in his eyes and he wasn't shivering anymore.
Without a word he gave the boy his pyjamas so that he could get dressed and walked out into their dorm. In the doorway he stopped and told Remus to tell him when he was dressed. Remus nodded his head that he understood and was left alone.
After some time Sirius heard Remus' voice from the other side of the door, that he was finished so he walked back in.
This time the sight that greeted him wasn't what he hoped for. But it was quite funny. Remus was standing there in his pyjamas, with the shirt inside out and buttoned all wrong. He looked a bit miserable as he was tugging on the shirt so it would sit a little more comfortably around him.
"What am I going to with you?" Sirius asked softly as he approached the boy and unbuttoned the shirt, sliding it off the other boy's shoulders. Then he put it back on his friend and as he was working on the buttons Remus patted his hair and started muttering.
"You're always so nice to me, Siri. I really, really like you. I know you'd never let anything happen to me. Thank you, Siri."
Sirius blushed a little at the soft words and looked at his friend.
"Of course I wouldn't let anything happen to you, you git. You're my friend." he said as he finished buttoning the shirt.
No more words were uttered as Sirius once again lifted his, now clean, friend and walked out of the bathroom with him in his arms. Only when he was about to put down Remus on the boy's own bed did Remus speak up.
"Could I sleep with you tonight?" he said quietly as he tightened his hold around Sirius' neck. Sirius gulped.
"Please?" his eyes begged the dark-haired boy not to say no, and who was Sirius to deny him anything when he asked like that? He nodded and walked to his own bed, gently putting the boy down on it.
Remus curled instantly up in a ball and yawned sleepily. Sirius put a blanket around him and tucked him in then turned to gather his own pyjamas and go to the bathroom to get changed. He was stopped though by Remus' hand around his wrist.
"Don't go." He asked, sounding afraid of being left alone. His expression made Sirius' heart ache and he wanted nothing but to hold the boy in his arms and never leave him again.
"I'll just go and change into my pyjamas. I won't leave you. I'll be back in a minute. I promise." He said reassuringly and caressed the smaller boy's cheek. He saw the trust in Remus' eyes as the boy nodded his agreement.
"Hurry." He heard Remus whisper as he entered the bathroom.
As soon as the door closed behind him, he sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands.
What had he gotten himself into? This time he was in some huge mess. His date with that annoying girl felt like it never even happened. Suddenly there was Remus and although he knew he had always cared about him more than he had cared for anyone else, it never really felt quite like this. Remus was amazing. The boy had absolutely rendered him of words and took his sanity. Twisted his brain out of locating and made him feel such a weird thrill. Just thinking about him, made his heart ache and his breath to catch.
What was going on with him tonight? He couldn't do this. He couldn't sleep with Remus so close to him all night. He would go crazy! He was sure!
Well crazier than he already was.
Oh, Merlin he just wanted to hold the boy so bad. Just wanted to make him happy. He wanted to be the cause of that cute smile on those kissable lips. He wanted to be everything for Remus.
He didn't understand how he could have been so blind as to not see this. To ignore this feeling so completely. For he was sure this wasn't just some feeling that he just started feeling tonight. It had been growing inside him. Maturing with time until his subconscious couldn't take it anymore and had to let it out into his mind.
Well there was no point in ignoring it anymore or dwelling over it. He stood with a sigh and gathered some mental strength and courage. He got ready for bed in no time at all and before he opened the door he took a deep breath.
"Merlin, help me now." He said as he entered the dorm again and started walking toward his bed with shaking knees.
When he arrived to his bed he felt like falling down on it, because of the nerves. But as he laid eyes on his friend the nerves vanished into nothing.
Remus was already sound asleep. His eyelashes seemed so much longer now. He was clutching Sirius' pillow in his hands. It was weird how he seemed so much smaller now that he was curled up in a ball, looking so defenceless.
It made Sirius' heart tingle and made him feel a mix of protective and possessive feelings.
He reached out to caress away a few loose hairs from his friends sleeping face. Then he sat down on the bed and for the longest time he just watched Remus sleep.
He wanted to remember every single feature. Every single thing that made Remus' face look just the way it did. He never ever wanted to forget how beautiful the boy was. Not that he would be able to, not even if he wanted to.
He examined every single feature carefully. From his cute little nose, with the almost invisible little freckles, to his red lips. The ones the boy had kissed him with earlier. They looked so soft. And now he knew this by experience too. He touched his own lips absentmindedly and remembered the kiss. The soft lips and the warm, exploring tongue.
He found himself wishing for Remus to open his eyes and do it all over again.
At this thought he shook his head and moved to lie down on the bed. Carefully he lifted the bedcovers and slid under them.
It was nice and warm and he wiggled a little to get comfortable. Seconds later he felt Remus' hand over his chest and then the smaller boy's entire body pressed closer to his, his left leg curling around his waist.
The desire stirred in his body but he ignored it and instead, he let happiness take him over as he moved closer to Remus, taking him into his arms.
Soon sleep came to take him away as he breathed in the scent of his friend.
Morning came quick for Remus. As the first rays of the sunlight hit his eyes he opened them only to close them just as quickly.
For some reason the sunlight was hurting his eyes. He didn't understand this. The pain went straight to his head and it felt like a thousand needles were making their way into his brain.
He hissed a little in pain and tried to curl up in a ball but he was stopped when he found that one of his legs was curled around something solid and warm. Now that he thought about it he was in fact holding onto something for dear life.
Well someone to be exact. As that thought entered his mind he suddenly forgot about the splitting headache he was having. He was more curious about the person in his bed.
His heart started beating and he blushed a little, not remembering anything about a person being in his bed when he went to sleep last night.
In fact he didn't remember going to sleep last night at all.
Now he started panicking but his head wouldn't allow much of that. As soon as he started moving around, trying to get away from the person he was holding onto and who, he now noticed, was holding onto him too, his head would remind him that he was in no shape to do any kind of sudden movement. So he settled for just moving away the covers so he could take a peak at the mystery-person.
Slowly and with a heart that just wanted to jump right out of his chest, he lifted the covers and they finally revealed a person with black hair. A person with an amazingly familiar sleeping face.
A person named Sirius Black.
Remus' didn't know what to do. His arms were still around Sirius and he felt heat rising in his body all of a sudden. As he looked around in the bed, he realized it was extremely untidy, and it didn't have his bedcovers. Upon closer inspection and thought, he realized he was in fact, in Sirius' bed.
Now he was horribly embarrassed. He did not know how he had gotten here but he reckoned, it was safest to return to his own bed as soon as possible. At least before Sirius woke up. He did not want to explain to his friend what he was doing in the same bed as him.
As he tried to wiggle out of Sirius arms, however, his headache made itself known again and he had to stop what he was doing, He held his head in both his hands and without noticing, a whimper escaped his lips.
This made his bed-mate stir and open his eyes slowly. At first Sirius' eyes were unfocused and he didn't seem to recognize Remus'. When he did, his eyes grew big in surprise, and then they went back to their sleepy form. He yawned and stretched with Remus' head on his arm.
This made Remus highly uncomfortable. He was about to move away from Sirius and quietly sneaking off; thinking up excuses in case Sirius would later ask him about this incident. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"Good morning." he heard Sirius' raspy, sleep clouded voice. He turned around slowly, not really knowing what to do with himself.
"H-hi." he didn't dare looking Sirius straight in the eye so he settled with sitting as far away from him as possible without being too obvious.
"Did you sleep well?" Sirius asked, wiping the sleepiness out of his eyes. He moved a little closer, making Remus blush slightly.
So this meant Sirius knew about him having slept in his bed. But how would he? And why didn't he remember anything? This was definitely something he would remember, having agreed to sleep in the same bed as Sirius.
"Y-yes…I did."
"Good. How are you feeling today?" Sirius asked, sitting up with a concerned look on his face. He put his hand on Remus' forehead then stroked his face. He was looking into the other boy's eyes intently, searching for any sign of illness.
"I'm fine." Remus said, moving away from Sirius' exploring hand and eyes.
"Are you sure? You don't look like it. Not even a headache? You did have quite a bit to drink last night."
This triggered something in Remus. He vaguely remembered a bottle of sweet liquid. But that couldn't be right. He would never drink alcohol. He was just about to ask Sirius about what had happened but his eyes landed on an empty bottle beside the bed and he fell speechless.
More memories rushed to his head. Him drinking the sweet liquid. Him sitting on Sirius' bed. Him saying stupid things to Sirius. Him sitting in a bathtub full of bubbles. Him kissing Sirius on the mouth. Begging him not to leave.
He blushed violently at these memories. Could this really have happened? Could he really have kissed Sirius? He was so embarrassed, he didn't know where to look. This was by far the stupidest thing he had ever done. Revealing his feelings for his best friend like this. What would Sirius think? Surely their friendship was ruined now. He was so ashamed of himself. He felt dirty and vile, having exploited Sirius' friendliness in such a way.
"Oh, god, Siri. I'm so sorry." he whispered, still not looking at his friend. Hot tears were burning behind his eyelids, blurring his vision. He clutched the covers as he moved even further away from Sirius.
"What? What are you talking about?" he heard Sirius' confused voice behind him.
"Last night! I'm sorry! I never meant to…to do those things to you. I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore." he sobbed, no longer capable of holding back his tears. What he had done was unforgivable.
"Remmie…oh, Remmie, don't cry! It's all right."
Remus felt Sirius' arms around him and hiccupped with surprise, his sobs dying in his throat as his friend buried his face in his back. Slowly, Remus turned in his embrace to face him. Sirius' face was blurred through his tears but his eyes looked sincere.
"You're not cross with me then?" he asked hopefully.
Sirius smiled and shook his head. A fain blush had crept onto his cheeks. He wiped away some of the wet lock from Remus' face and continued to dry the other boy's tears affectionately.
"How could I be cross with you?" he whispered, moving closer to the other boy, pulling him into his arms. It felt so exhilarating, so very right for Remus to be there, close to his hammering heart.
Remus exhaled and held onto Sirius. He was slightly dizzy, his headache forgotten once more, he inhaled the other boy's scent, not quite believing this was actually happening. It was no dream. Sirius had just told him he wasn't angry about last night and now he was hugging him. This thought confused him somewhat. So Sirius was not mad about the kiss. That still didn't mean his feelings were answered. Maybe Sirius didn't understand.
"B-but, Siri…you do understand that I…well, I…fancy you." he said, pulling back from the embrace, looking everywhere but into his friend's eyes. He heard Sirius chuckle. His head snapped up and he looked surprised at his friend.
"Yes…you made that quite clear last night." Sirius said, looking into his eyes with an emotion Remus couldn't remember having seen in there. It made him warm and happy inside.
"And I fancy you too." Sirius added, in a more subdued voice, looking away for a moment then meeting Remus' eyes again. He moved forward hesitantly and pressed his lips against the other boy's clumsily.
Remus could not believe what was happening. Merely moment ago, he had been crying, thinking that his drunkenness had ruined their friendship and now, he was being kissed by Sirius, slowly being pushed onto the mattress. He found himself wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck, relaxing slowly as he sighed into the kiss.
Moments later Sirius was the one who broke the kiss, much to Remus' dismay. He stared lovingly into Remus' eyes, smiling slightly as he took in the look of slight disappointment on his face.
"So what happens now?" Remus whispered.
Sirius chuckled and kissed his nose playfully.
"Now we go to the Hospital Wing to have your hangover cured. After that, I'd like to taste you some more." he said, making Remus blush fiercely.
He rose from the bed and reached to gather his clothes, leaving Remus to his thoughts. Then as he was on his way to the bathroom, he smiled wickedly at Remus.
"Oh, and Remmie? You're the apple of my eye!" he said, laughing as he quickly dove into the bathroom, hearing the soft thud of a pillow colliding with the bathroom door.
FIN
Author's Note: Well, wow! This took me some time to write. But it was fun! I have never written anything like this. I'm a sucker for angst. So let me know if you liked it or hated it! All reviews are welcome!