Whatever We Deny or Embrace, a night shift, 2014 fanfic

Whatever we Deny or Embrace

Author's Note: This is a little one-shot that has been sitting around in my brain for a little while, so I thought it was finally time to write it. It mainly focuses on TC and Jordan, but some of the Night Shift cast makes an appearance throughout the fic and Landry gets a sendoff. Timeline wise, it takes place in between season one and season two and looks at what made TC and Jordan get back together. I don't own The Night Shift or any of its characters. I'm just a lowly fangirl. The fic title comes from Pat Benatar's We Belong.

"I come bearing gifts," TC said, coming into the small office where Jordan was working while she was suspended after everything that had happened with Milo, the guy who shot Topher and killed Dwight in the radiology suite.

Jordan looked up from the multiple manila folders that had taken over the desk that took up the majority of the office that she'd been forced into. "What kind of gifts?" she asked, eyeing the two large cups of coffee in his arms and a paper bag that was folded at the top so he'd be able to hold everything.

"Coffee and bagels. I thought we could eat together for a little bit before I get called out on a search and rescue call. And I figured you'd probably want some company since you've been exiled into a too-small office scanning old paper files into the computer to help the hospital go paperless."

"You got that right," Jordan said, holding her hands out so she could take one of the coffees from TC.

Ever since the police found that Jordan hadn't done anything wrong in terms of Milo's death, there weren't any criminal charges or civil charges pressed against her. However, that didn't mean she was given the all clear from hospital administrators. Once the formal investigation by the police was over, the administrators told Jordan she'd be able to return to work; she just couldn't work on any patients. Instead, they'd given her a small office and handed her multiple boxes filled with old patient information that needed to be scanned into the computer.

"Any clue when you'll rejoin civilization upstairs and start working on patients again?" TC asked her, pulling up a chair to sit on the other side of her desk.

"Your guess is as good as mine. They say I can go back up once all the paperwork is done, but it's like a never-ending pile of paperwork. I'm beginning to wonder if I missed my call as someone's assistant instead of being a doctor."

"Could've saved you thousands of dollars," TC said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Very true," Jordan said, taking a bagel out of the bag. "Any clue when your suspension is up?"

"Whenever the board and the administrators feel like I've learned my lesson. So it'll probably be awhile."

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence as they started eating their bagels. "So, this whole taking it slow thing," TC said. "What exactly does that entail? Like, do we go on dates?"

"Yeah, we can go out on dates," Jordan said. "Why? What do you have planned?"

"Nothing. Yet."

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "Don't make me regret any of this."

"You'd never regret anything when it comes to the two of us."

Jordan felt her heart start to slow down and the look on her face softened. No matter how long she's known TC, there's a part of her that turns into the same 26-year-old that fell head over heels in love with him when they first met all those years ago. "You're right," she said, smiling at little.

"I'm always right," he said, leaning across the desk to kiss her.

The door to the office flung open and revealed Gwen in a professional outfit. TC sat back down in his seat and ran a hand through his hair.

Gwen looked between the two of them with an eyebrow raised. "Did I interrupt something here?"

"Nope," Jordan said. "Just two friends having coffee and bagels while they're both suspended. How was the job interview?"

"I got the job!" Gwen said.

"Really?" Jordan said, getting up from her chair. "That's fantastic! We get to work together again," she said, giving her best friend a hug.

"Finally," Gwen said. "It's been too long since that's happened. I start next week. So we have to go out and celebrate. What are you doing when your shift is done?"

"I can't after this shift," Jordan said. "Landry, the night shift psychiatrist, is moving and the staff is going out to wish her luck on her future endeavors. You should come along though! Then you can meet all of the staff."

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on anything."

"It's super casual," Jordan said. "You and I can head back to my place when my shift is done and we can change and head over to the bar together."

"There's a bar open at seven in the morning?"

"This is Texas," Jordan said by way of an explanation.

"I guess that's true. Okay, sounds good. I'll see you at your place when your shift's done." Gwen turned to face TC. "It was...good to see you again, TC," she said. "I'll let you both get back to whatever it is you're doing."

TC waited until Gwen had left the office before turning to Jordan. "I didn't know she was moving down here. You must be excited about that."

"Yeah, I really am. I like San Antonio and everything, but I've really missed having a best friend here. So I'm really glad that she's moving here."

TC bowed his head slightly. He knew the reason Jordan had moved to San Antonio in the first place, and that it was because of him that she'd left Baltimore without a second look back.

And he definitely knew that some of their old friends, especially Gwen, weren't too pleased that Jordan had followed him to San Antonio.

"So, are you going to sing some karaoke at Landry's going away party tonight?" Jordan asked, changing the subject when she noticed the look on TC's face change.

"Karaoke? Oh, right. I forgot that's what the theme of the party is. When did she choose a karaoke bar again?"

Jordan shrugged and took another sip of coffee before sighing. "I have so much paperwork I need to finish tonight. I'm a little behind where I want to be."

"I'll take that as my cue to leave," TC said, getting up from his chair, cup of coffee in hand.

"Thanks for the coffee and bagel," Jordan said, getting up from her chair as well. She walked over to where TC was standing and wrapped her arms around his neck and looked in his eyes. "Here's that kiss you didn't get earlier," she said, stretching up slightly to give him a quick kiss.

"Maybe if you're on your best behavior for the rest of your shift down here, I'll buy you a drink at the bar."

"One drink," Jordan said, her mind going back to a conversation the two of them had at the hospital where they did their internship. Jordan had made TC promise they'd have only one drink together after she'd saved his life. But one drink had quickly turned to four drinks and a split piece of chocolate cake as Jordan fell in love with him.

"I'll take it," he said, winking at her. "I'll see you tonight."

Jordan nodded at him and smiled as he walked out of the office with a small wave. She took a deep breath and shook her head as she sat back down in her chair. "Taking it slow. You want to take things slow," she reminded herself, grabbing the file folder at the top of the ever-growing pile.

-x-

Gwen and Jordan walked into the bar as Landry's going away party was in full swing, with Landry up on the platform stumbling her way through a TLC song.

"Jordan, you and I have to do a song," Gwen said.

"Okay," Jordan said, spotting TC already at the bar, most likely buying her the drink that she'd agreed to when they were still at the hospital. "Why don't you pick a song for the two of us. I've got some stuff I need to take care of."

"Spice Girls?"

"Is there any other way to do it?" Jordan asked, smiling at Gwen.

"Sounds good. I'll motion to you when it's our turn to perform."

Jordan nodded and went over to the bar and stood next to TC. "So, what drink did you order?"

"I got you a whiskey and soda. I figured it would be a good idea to stick with something I know you like. Hopefully you still like it."

"It's still my go-to," Jordan said.

"It's good to know some things never change," TC said, letting one of his hands graze across Jordan's as their fingers threaded through each other's. "It's good being back out with you again," he said, his voice dropping.

"Yeah," Jordan said, feeling her heart slow down again. "It really is."

"Are you singing something?" TC asked.

"I think Gwen and I singing a Spice Girls song. Because of course," she said. "Other than that, I don't know if I'm singing something. I'm more of a group singer, not a solo singer."

"That's too bad," TC said. He quickly let go of Jordan's hand and she raised an eyebrow before looking around to see why he did when her eyes landed on Scott.

She opened her mouth to say something to him but was stopped when she saw Gwen motioning to her from across the room.

"I guess it's my turn to sing," Jordan said. "Keep an eye on my drink for me," she said before making her way through the crowd to get to the platform the bar had set up so everyone would be able to see the performers.

TC groaned inwardly when he saw Scott making his way toward the bar and he began to prepare for the worst that would give from his co-worker, especially since the last time the two of them saw each other was when TC had his breakdown after Topher was shot.

"It's not going to last," Scott told him simply.

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Jordan," he said. "The two of you aren't going to last. You aren't right for her. One of these days, she's going to wake up and realize she's making a big mistake doing whatever it is the two of you are doing. For her sake, I hope she realizes this before it's too late."

TC watched Scott walk off as he let everything that Scott said sink in. What if Jordan had this idealized version of him in her head and he couldn't live up to what she had in her head and eventually got tired of him constantly falling short to that image that she left. TC had barely survived the time apart from Jordan. He didn't know what would happen if it became permanent.

Trying to shake the thoughts from his head, he walked over to the booth and flipped through the song book, trying to find the perfect song for how he was feeling in that moment.

Jordan and Gwen's song ended and Jordan walked over to where he was standing and gave him a curious look. "Are you okay?" she asked, sensing something was bothering him.

"I'll be fine. Uh, I left your drink with Topher, so you'll have to get it from him. I'm up next."

Jordan raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced that TC would be okay but she didn't want to push the envelope too much. "I'll save you a seat," she said, squeezing his arm.

She followed Gwen over to the long table that the night shift staff was sitting at. She smiled at all of them and introduced Gwen to all of them, smiling when she said her best friend from college would be working alongside them shortly.

When the first notes of TC's song started playing, she turned her attention to the stage, a soft smile on her face. But as the opening notes progressed, Jordan's smile turned into a frown as she realized what song he was singing.

I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music do you

It goes like this

The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall the major lift

The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to a kitchen chair

She broke your throne

She cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before

I know this room I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I've seen your flag on the marble arch

Love is not a victory march

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know

What's real and going on below

But now you never show it to me do you

And remember when I moved in you

The holy dark was moving too

And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above

And all I ever learned from love

Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

It's not a cry you can hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

When TC finished singing his song, Jordan looked over at Scott, who had an almost self-satisfied look on his face. "Hey, Toph," Jordan said, trying to get Topher's attention. "Did something happen while Gwen and I were singing up there?"

"All I know is that the two of them had a tense exchange of words. I don't really know about what though," he said.

Jordan's eyes narrowed as TC started walking back to the table they were all sitting at. She knew Scott had said something that got under TC's skin. That much was obvious to anyone who knew what was going on between the three of them.

"We need to talk," Jordan said to Scott, crossing her arms across her chest. "Now."

The two of them pushed in their chairs and walked to a quieter part of the bar while Paul got up on the platform and started singing a Beatles song.

"Everything okay?" Scott asked.

"What did you say to TC?" Jordan asked, not wasting any time with niceties.

Scott looked taken aback for a second but quickly recovered. "I just said that it's only a matter of time before you come to your senses and realize that TC isn't good for you.

"Really, Scott? Why would you do that? My relationships aren't any of business. I've already apologized for everything profusely. You're just not being fair to TC."

"I don't feel like I have to be fair. I moved away from a great job in Dallas to work as the head of trauma at the hospital. I moved here to be closer to you so we can start to build our life together even more. So you'll have to imagine my surprise when, after a few months of uprooting my life, I find you still in love with your ex-boyfriend."

"And I'm sorry, Scott. I really am. But you need to stay out of my personal life. You're no longer a part of it. Who I choose to be with is none of your business and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mess with that person's mind." She started to walk away but turned back around. "And if you hate it here so much, just go back to Dallas. I feel like it would be better for everyone else."

Not giving him a chance to respond, she went up to the booth where the people running the karaoke machine were set up. "I know what song I'm going to do. Can I go next?" she asked.

"Sure. Just take a look in the binder to make sure it's there," one of the guys said, handing her a binder that was filled to the brim with sheets of paper that had every song available for karaoke.

Jordan flipped through the sheets, trying to find the song she hoped they had in their library. Smiling to herself when she found it, she wrote down some of the information and handed it to the people.

"Okay, you'll be up once this guy's done."

"Great," Jordan said, swallowing thickly. It had been a long time since she'd sang karaoke in front of people when it was just her on the stage and her nerves were definitely about to get the best of her.

After Paul's song ended, he stepped down from the platform and handed her the microphone. "Good luck," he said as Jordan got up on the platform.

She looked out at everyone and took a deep breath. "This song is for someone very special to me who doesn't realize how much I love him and am inspired, in a way, by him," Jordan said, taking a deep breath as the opening notes of the song started playing.

Many times I tried to tell you

Many times I cried alone

Always I'm surprised how well

You cut my feelings to the bone

Don't wanna leave you really

I've invested too much time

To give you up that easy

To the doubts that complicate your mind

We belong to the light

We belong to the thunder

We belong to the sound of the words

We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace

For worse or for better

We belong

We belong together

Maybe it's a sign of weakness

When I don't know what to say

Maybe I just wouldn't know

What to do with my strength anyway

Have we become a habit

Do we distort the facts

Now there's no looking forward

Now there's no turning back when you say

We belong to the light

We belong to the thunder

We belong to the sound of the words

We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace

For worse or for better

We belong

We belong together

Close your eyes and try to sleep now

Close your eyes and try to dream

Clear your mind and do your best

To try and wash the palette clean

We can't begin to know it

How much we really care

I hear your voice inside me

I see your face everywhere

Still you say

We belong to the light

We belong to the thunder

We belong to the sound of the words

We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace

For worse or for better

We belong

We belong together

We belong to the light

We belong to the thunder

We belong to the sound of the words

We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace

For worse or for better

We belong

We belong together

When Jordan finished the song, the night shift staff started clapping for her and she did a little bow. She locked eyes with TC, who had gotten out of his seat and was making his way toward the platform. He got up on the stage and pulled Jordan in for a soul-searing kiss.

"Did you know they were dating again?" Topher asked, leaning across the table to Gwen.

"I had a feeling," she said, watching the two of them still kissing each other on the platform. "I caught the two of them about to kiss in her office earlier when I told her I got the job." Gwen looked over at Scott, who didn't look too thrilled about the public display of affection. "I don't think this is how they intended on telling everyone they were dating again."

"Well, the two of them never really had much of a plan for anything." Topher took a sip from his cup. "Here's hoping they can finally get their happy ending they've deserved for so long."

"Just know that if he hurts her again, I hurt him," Gwen said in a way that Topher knew meant she wasn't joking.

TC and Jordan stepped down from the platform and walked back over to the table. "So, I take it that wasn't how you weren't planning on telling everyone," Topher said.

"Definitely wasn't planned, but I think it works for the best in the long run," TC said as Jordan leaned against him and put her head on his shoulder. "This is it," he said, kissing the top of her head.

Later that morning, when most of the staff had left to get some sleep, TC and Jordan were the only two left in the bar, as Gwen ended up getting called in for orientation at the firehouse she was working out of and got a ride with her new partner that lived near the bar they were at.

"Hey," Jordan said lightly. "I didn't want to say this while everyone was around and would potentially gossip about this. But I had a talk with Scott about what he said to you."

"I wondered what that was about," TC said, wrapping an arm around Jordan. "What did you say to him?"

"Basically I said that my personal life is for me only and he doesn't get to have an opinion about what I do with it." She looked up at TC. "I'm sorry for what he said."

"You don't have to apologize for him."

"I know. But I wanted to let you know that I didn't like what he said about you. Because I don't think I'm going to regret this decision." She pushed some of the hair that was falling in his eyes back and kissed him. "Just like the song said: whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong."

Thanks for reading! In case anyone was wondering, TC sang Hallelujah (the Rufus Wainwright version) and Jordan sang We Belong by Pat Benatar.