Dream of Nobody

Chapter One

Beginning in the Dying

Thanks to onetreefan, MissFantabulous, Hkitty9013, Little People, KaydenceRei, TV Angel 711, Beautifully Tragic-Tragical Beautifully, LivNel4ever, MerdithandDerekfanforever, PaceyW'sgirl, Psycho Strider, sergeant happy bunny, and obsessedwithstabler for reviewing on Memories of You and Me so that I can really start this one. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Law and Order SVU.

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I never thought that this job would be so difficult, but now I know. There's a difference between being undercover for one night and working undercover, being someone else every single day. I keep to myself and put out a face that's not even me. I've learned to answer to Persephone and to ignore the name Olivia, even though the sound of my old name still does something to me that I can't explain.

I wonder how they're doing. I know Cragen would never let Elliot work alone, I wonder who's replaced me. Do they even miss me? Stop doing this to yourself Olivia. You can't afford to be distracted. I don't know these people around me. I never will and they will never know me. I have always been the type to be upfront with people. To let them know how it is, but now here I am, lying my way through every second of every day. Part of me feels like I'm trash, but the I guess I have no choice. I am doing my job, no matter how much I hate it.

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"I got something Elliot!" Dani called to her partner.

He was beside her in seconds, peering over her shoulder in a way that made her heart quicken. He was studying the tiny piece of fabric Dani had in her hand.

Melinda saw this and raced to her side, grabbing it out of her hand with a pair of tweezers.

"You're supposed to put on gloves before you touch any evidence." She said forcefully, annoyance very obvious. "You should know that."

"Hey Melinda, let it go. We've been working too much overtime." Elliot said with a small smile.

Melinda just glanced at him with an exasperated expression on her face as she handed Dani some latex gloves.

"Casey's gonna be mad if that piece of evidence gets thrown out of court." She said, bagging it. "Don't let her bite my head off."

She walked away rather quickly, not really wanting to be around Dani Beck any longer than she had to. For some reason the blonde set her off. She hadn't done anything to really piss Melinda off, but some of her little mistakes drove Melinda nuts. The M.E. knew that Olivia would have never made those mistakes and Dani was trying to hard to replace the other detective in Elliot's heart and place in the squad. Melinda didn't appreciate it and she and Casey had spent many nights on the phone talking about it. She wondered if Elliot was really blind to all of Dani's mistakes.

Back in the squad room, Dani sat down in Olivia's former desk. Elliot and she started to discuss the case, their options, and possible suspects. It was almost as if Elliot had forgotten all about the golden brunette that used to sit in that desk. Cragen watched this exchange from his office. The Feds had contacted him. Olivia's case was reaching the closing point, one or two weeks she would be home again. Watching Dani and Elliot laugh and chat, he wondered if Olivia Benson still had a place in the 16 th Precinct.

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Alex sat in the office with the Feds. They had finally tracked down the people that had anything to do with her attempted murder, but they were linked to another case. They had refused to give her details, but Alex Cabot was still an attorney at heart. Sure, her name was changed, her job was as boring as hell and in her mind, pointless, but she still had the tone, the demeanor, and the calculating mind of someone who had worked in criminal justice and thrived in the environment.

They gave in. Some of the members of the party who wanted her dead were using the cover of an animal activist group to market some of their drugs. The group is also suspected of violent activities which were being investigated. It was the perfect cover, but one that the Feds did not overlook.

"Who's working the case?" Alex asked, doodling, her new nervous habit.

"Detective Olivia Benson, I understand you know her."

Alex smiled ever so slightly. "Yeah I do and if she has the case, then I'll start packing my bags out of this hellhole." She said, getting up.

She showed them out of her 'home' and then smiled to herself and started to pack up her belongings.

She had a life here, but even the temptation of her fiancé was not enough for her to stay. He didn't know her. He thought of her as a blonde southern belle named Emily. She was anything but. He was a lawyer for the insurance company she worked for and she saw him cheat people out of what they rightfully earned. He would explain law things to him and try to make her see how clever he was, but she would just smile to herself. She knew the same tricks inside and out. He was sweet to her, but he didn't know the extent of her mind, the background of her family, or the jobs she used to work.

She didn't look forward to telling him about who she really was, but she was looking forward to New York, her friends, and the job that she used to have.

Olivia will solve it. Alex told herself with a smile. She always does.

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Olivia's case was coming to an end, finally. They had enough proof to put all the suspected party away for life. Olivia had managed to use bribes, coaxing, and various other tactics to obtain important information allowing the Feds to finally pull a stop to the case. She could finally go home. She just had to make the arrests without any incidents.

"Ready?" she asked Star who was sitting next to her, pulling on a bulletproof vest.

"Always" she said with a grin.

"Remember these people are armed." Olivia said, taking obvious charge in this case. "They're probably high too and will stop at nothing to make sure that their 'other' business isn't hurt. Careful around the new members of the group that know nothing about their violent protests and don't put anything past the old members."

Star nodded, respecting Olivia's insider point of view on the case. She was running the lead and Star had no problem with it.

Satisfied that she had adequately warned her 'friends' what they were getting into, Olivia opened the door to the abandoned warehouse she knew the suspects were planning in. She knew what it was all about too. Bombing another building, the lives inside didn't matter. Her gun ready and held firmly, she burst in yelling,

"Police, drop the weapons and put your hands on your head now!" She yelled, gun drawn, raised, with Star and several other agents right beside her.

The dealers opened fired on them as they shot back. The first bullet hit Olivia full on in the stomach, but she thankfully was also wearing a vest. She was thrown back from pain and velocity, but she managed to pull off a round of shots, taking down two of them. Star took down two more and the last one dropped his weapon as Feds surrounded him, slapping on handcuffs.

Olivia was breathing hard as she realized that one of the men was missing. Her heart gripped. She spun to see him enter behind them. He open fired hitting Olivia. Star stepped in and fired out a clip. He went down as Olivia sank to her knees, bleeding heavily. Star quickly applied pressure to the wound.

Olivia's world was spinning in and out as Star talked frantically on the phone to an ambulance. Blackness was clinging to the edges of her vision as she struggled to comprehend what was going on. Blood was seeping onto the floor and Olivia's eyes closed, not wanting to see the sight of her own blood turning the floor red.

She couldn't die. Not yet. Not while she hadn't said good bye to the people she loved the most. She was so close. So close to home. She couldn't die now. Not yet. Not until she could be with them one more time. Hear Munch's outrageous comments. Fin's taste in music. Laugh with Casey and Melinda.

Her mind paused, comprehending for the first time what it was like to die. Elliot. He would never forgive her if she left him this way. He would lose it. He would probably kill the Feds. She couldn't leave without holding him one more time or looking into his blue eyes to see that intensity of the gaze only he could give.

I love him. She thought with recognition. It had taken so long, but she finally knew what those words meant.

"Elliot."

Star heard so softly that it would have been only the whisper of trees in the wind. She saw Olivia's lips move.

"Elliot." She breathed. "Elliot."

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Author's Note:

This is my introduction chapter. How's is that for a bang? More EO on the way. I need to depict Olivia's return and Alex's and Dani's good bye and then the painful side of EO before the happy side. The basics of every story, but there's a twist toward the end. What if Olivia forgot all about Elliot? GASP! Can that even happen? We'll see. Heheh. I'm evil. I hope you guys enjoy this!