A/N: So, after that AMAZING episode, I figured I had to write my own post-ep. I loved everything about the episode, and though we all have things we would've wished to see, I feel that the perfect outlet for it is writing a fic about it. I hope you enjoy it, though is not very long...
They don't sleep. They lie awake in complete darkness, as the toll of the last two days consume them. There's a sense of relief around them, but also there's something else. It's the what ifs, and the million scenarios playing in their heads. It's the way he found Beckett looking at Neiman's body, and the look on her face when she looked at him. He thinks of the grief, pain, desolation, sadness, and loss that he felt when he thought Beckett had died. It had been an exhausting ordeal for both of them. So he tried to fix it the only way he knew how. Besides, the more stuff he did to keep his mind and body busy, the better.
As soon as they got home later that afternoon, Castle immediately took Beckett to their bathroom, and prepared a bath for her, with her favorite essence candles, and relaxing salts and oils. He bathe her with such love and tenderness, Beckett couldn't help a few joyful tears to roll down her cheeks. He massaged her scalp, neck, wrists and feet the way the love of her life did when she's had a particularly stressful day. But even when her body felt completely relaxed, her mind was still running a thousand miles per second, and so she just laid, cuddle with Castle, awake.
She noticed that he didn't shower. He merely changed, and brushed his teeth. He'd been only thinking about her. But seeing and hearing first hand Neiman's plans for her, was still too shocking for her, she'd barely managed to keep it together. He hadn't said anything, but she noticed him wincing ever so slightly when she hugged him back at the precinct, as well as his bruised knuckles when they held hands on their way home. However, something else caught her attention with her head on his chest. His heart was beating irregularly and was skipping beats.
"Castle...?" Beckett broke the silence.
"Hmm?" He groaned in response. She didn't answer immediately, mainly because she didn't know how to ask, though she wanted to know his side of the story.
"How are you?" Beckett ended up asking.
"I'm fine now that you're here." Castle answered, but something didn't feel right. He wasn't telling her the whole story.
"That's not what I mean." Beckett said seriously. "What happened?"
"It doesn't matter Beckett...you're fine, I'm fine." Castle replied maybe a little too defensive. He didn't want to go back and relive those hours without her. He didn't want to tell her how he almost lost control of everything.
"You're not fine." Beckett said resolutely, and rose from Castle's chest to get a better look at him. Even in the dark, he looked haunted. "You're hurting, you're barely keeping it together, and losing it in front of my very eyes, and I'm not gonna let you. You listened to my story, you've held me and told me that everything is gonna be okay, and now is my turn." Castle's eyes wouldn't meet her own. "That's what married people do." She finished. It took a few moment, but Castle finally responded.
"He kept taunting me." Castle whispered. "He was always one step ahead of me...he knew my pressure points...what would break me...we kept chasing him, but it was useless."
"How did you get those bruises?" She asked, referring to his knuckles.
"I went to Boudreau's apartment." He answered, not looking at her, but at their hands. "Asked him where you were...well...asking seems too nice of a word..." He let out a small chuckle. "Got arrested." He lifted his eyes with a coy expression on his face.
"So those were the assault charges." Beckett concluded, and he nodded.
"We got another lead after that..." He continued. "He called me...told me that seeing my suffer, seeing the fear and the pain, was better than just killing me once." Castle's voice shook a little, and he felt Beckett gently squeezing his hand. "Anyway...we found the van the used to take you, at an abandoned building...and..." Castle couldn't continue.
"Castle..."
"You were there...or at least we though you were, and then...they shot you. Right in front of me." Beckett didn't know whether Castle's numbed and detached voice was more scary than the images coming up inside her head. "It wasn't you...obviously..."
"Oh Castle..." She moved her hand and placed it right over his heart. It was still beating irregularly. It worried her. She knew his heartbeat so well, this wasn't right. "What did they do to your heart?"
"What do you mean?" Castle asked puzzled.
"Is not beating regularly. It's skipping beats." He honestly didn't realize it until she mentioned it just now.
"Oh! That's courtesy of Tyson." He let out a small laugh. "Though I think his stun gun had more volts than a normal one."
"God Castle did you get yourself checked out?" Beckett asked concerned.
"Well I was kinda preoccupied trying to find you." He smiled.
"Not anymore." Becket ran her hand through his hair. "You're seeing a cardiologist tomorrow. No excuses."
"Yes Mrs. Castle." Castle said with a smile on his face. There was still some darkness in his gaze that made Beckett's heart break for him, but she knew that they'll be okay. They're there for each other. Always.
A/N: Please review, that it is the only way I can know that people are enjoying what I write.
