Author's Note: My newest one-shot...Here's what you need to do. Listen to the song "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars before reading this. And then when you read the last few lines, listen to the outro of the song, right after the last chorus. :)
Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns the Gallagher Girls.
Invincible
The sun was shining too bright for the evening. My legs burned from the exhausting day of running, but I couldn't get myself to stop. I couldn't slow down. It could have easily been the sweat dripping down my face, or my heavy breathing that kept me from passing out right then and there.
I could have blamed it on the exertion. But I knew exactly what it was.
The dull ache in my chest would expand a small amount every time I slowed down. Like a reminder to keep going. Keep moving. So I listened to this pain and I forced my legs to push me farther, my arms to pump faster.
The trees flew by while I passed them, not listening to the heavy footsteps anymore. It wasn't like they could keep up forever. With the constant pushing that flooded through me, nobody could.
I could almost hear her voice in my head. See her eyes alight with a burning passion that I could never look away from. She would be telling me to stop paying attention to the pain coursing through me, and think about surviving.
Survive.
The word floated in my head before I shoved it out, blocking my mind from think it again. It wasn't allowed in my head anymore. It shouldn't even exist without her.
What was the point of living if you couldn't live with your other half? Anatomically speaking, she held one of my lungs, which is why I couldn't breathe. She controlled half of my brain, making it hard to think on my own.
She owned my heart. If she was gone, so was my heart. I should have been dead.
But life had to go and torture another soul, put another person through the anguish of losing everything, and that was the only reason I lived to keep running.
Avoiding rocks and tree limbs, I made my way through the thick forest as it darkened and blurred past. A harsh wind whipped at my face, and I was tempted to close my eyes. To blink.
Forcing my eyes to stay open, I reminded myself of the fact that her face would appear every time I closed them. So I ran. Away from the killers. Away from the place I last saw her alive.
All of the emotions from the past few hours broke through my barriers, and I was forced to ignore it. But that feat was proven impossible as the ache in my chest became more prominent. Anger. Remorse. Hurt. Sadness. Hatred. Loss.
It hit me like a tidal wave. I lost her. She would never be in my arms again. I would never see those fiery eyes that set ablaze when she argued. The voice that carried me throughout the night, slowly drawing me towards sleep.
Pain shot through my leg, and I fell forwards, crashing into the hard soil. Dirt smudged across my skin, but I sat up anyways to inspect my leg. It was only a scratch. At least, that's what it felt like. But as crimson proof of my injury leaked out of the gash, I knew it had to be worse than that. Much worse.
Tearing off a scrap of my shirt, I wrapped it around my calf and tied it into a knot to prevent any more blood loss. The white fabric turned red with the thick liquid and it soaked through the fabric until I saw black dots.
Keep going.
Her face appeared in my mind once more, and I could have sworn I heard her laugh. Unlike all the other times I heard it, the tinkling sound of her laughter wasn't gentle. It was mocking me.
Why can't you go? I heard her voice say. A little scratch is going to make you give up?
Even when she wasn't here, she knew how to push my buttons. So I jumped to my feet and tried to keep my breath even as I jogged. The burning in my legs pushed away the pain in my chest, and I tried my hardest to keep it that way. I had to keep going, but I wasn't superman. I wasn't invincible, no matter what.
Sometime when I wasn't paying attention, the sun slipped from the sky and I was left with the light of the full moon. A ribbon of blue iridescent light guided me as I weaved through trees. I was positive nobody saw me, and that was what allowed me to stop.
Panting heavily, I put my hands on my knees to rest. But this time, I couldn't push her face out of my vision.
I turned and began climbing up the rocks to my right, needing to be on higher ground. There was no more energy left in me to run again. Placing one foot into the space between rocks, I heaved myself up higher. And higher. And higher.
Soon enough, I was sitting on top of the small mountain of rocks, leaning against the wall of a cave.
I clutched a hand to my chest as the aching became unbearable. Letting out a harsh shout of pain, I was on my knees, rocking back and forth. My mind flashed with images of her face.
Smiling. Yelling. Laughing. Crying.
Something wet dripped onto my hands, and it didn't take a genius to know what it was. I didn't even bother to wipe it away. More and more tears leaked out of my eyes as the truth repeated itself to me.
She's dead. She's gone. Never coming back. Gone. Gone. Gone.
"NO!" I yelled. My fist collided with the hard cave floor. "Why did you have to leave me?"
The pain subsided, so I did it again. And again. And again. Over and over, I punched, not once stopping to dry my face. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. I couldn't stop.
"Why did you have to go?" I whimpered, finally letting my hand rest. I cradled the injured hand to my chest, regaining my breath.
Slowly, so slowly, I sat back and leaned against the wall again. My tears stopped, and it suddenly wasn't hard to accept. Our lives are full of death, so why did this one hurt so badly?
Because I was innocent. There was that voice again. Her voice. Because you loved me.
Of course I did, I thought. It should have been me.
I could practically see her shaking her head stubbornly. It's not your fault, she would have told me. But it was. I should have stopped them. I should have done something—anything to keep them off of her.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
And as I looked up into the sky, I saw the moon. Big and bright, and so full of light. Maybe I could have that light too…The pain in my chest faded, but I knew it was still there. I could still feel it. But I also knew that it would never go away.
I'm so sorry.
Somewhere, an owl hooted, and something rustled in the branches of a tree below. But I stayed in my spot, just watching the moon as clouds cascaded over it, before it came right back. And I knew that I had to keep moving, keep living. If not for me, then for her. Then, I saw her face again. Smiling at me from above. I heard her gentle laugh, and my heart swelled.
I miss you.
Forever and Always,
Me
