You Are My Sunshine
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
I sat in a white room. I woke up disorientated and didn't realise for a while that I was in a hospital room. For a second I had thought that I was the patient, but thank God, I wasn't. I didn't think he could stand anyone else prodding at me.
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
The room smelt of disinfectant and surprisingly enough, burgers and fries. The bathroom door in the corner clicked open, and Cas appeared.
"Dean, you're awake! I'm so happy." He fainted. Just dropped to the floor. I didn't react for a few seconds as I had no idea what was going on, but when I saw Cas bash his head on the hospital bed as he went down, I screamed "NURSE! CAN I GET A NURSE IN HERE?!" A nurse rushed in. He called for another nurse to come in and the pair helped Cas up onto the bed.
The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
As the nurses rushed out orders, I fell back into the chair. I tried so hard to stay awake and almost succeeded too, if it weren't for the calm aura that Cas was emitting and the slow, rhythmic beat of the heart monitor. Bud dum.
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head, and I cried
I slept while Cas was in surgery. I was so nonchalant about the whole thing. I guess it hadn't really sank in yet. It would soon, though, and once it did, I wouldn't be able to do anything.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
Everything was so numb, I thought that the doctors had drugged me. Bud dum. I wasn't paranoid. Bud dum. They had. Bud dum. Cas had come back that evening, at least I thought it was that evening. Bud dum. I didn't really have a good perception of time. Bud dum. The doctor who I spoke to had said the surgery went well, and Cas would be recovered in a few weeks. Bud dum. I then asked what was wrong with Cas. Bud dum. I shouldn't have. Bud dum.
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
The doctor sat me down in a waiting room and made me a cup of coffee and explained. Cas had Coronary Heart Disease. One in five men die from it. I couldn't believe my ears. Why? I just wanted Cas better. I rose and took my former seat in Cas's hospital room. Bud dum.
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
Cas laid sleeping for a while, and when he wasn't sleeping, we were talking or I was reading to him. Bud dum. Cas liked books about forgiveness, especially Forgiven by A.A. Milne.
I found a little beetle; so that Beetle was his name,
And I called him Alexander and he answered just the same.
I put him in a match-box, and I kept him all the day ...
And Nanny let my beetle out -
Yes, Nanny let my beetle out -
She went and let my beetle out -
And Beetle ran away.
She said she didn't mean it, and I never said she did,
She said she wanted matches and she just took off the lid,
She said that she was sorry, but it's difficult to catch
An excited sort of beetle you've mistaken for a match.
She said that she was sorry, and I really mustn't mind,
As there's lots and lots of beetles which she's certain we could find,
If we looked about the garden for the holes where beetles hid -
And we'd get another match-box and write BEETLE on the lid.
We went to all the places which a beetle might be near,
And we made the sort of noises which a beetle likes to hear,
And I saw a kind of something, and I gave a sort of shout:
"A beetle-house and Alexander Beetle coming out!"
It was Alexander Beetle I'm as certain as can be,
And he had a sort of look as if he thought it must be Me,
And he had a sort of look as if he thought he ought to say:
"I'm very very sorry that I tried to run away."
And Nanny's very sorry too for you-know-what-she-did,
And she's writing ALEXANDER very blackly on the lid,
So Nan and Me are friends, because it's difficult to catch
An excited Alexander you've mistaken for a match.
But if you leave me to love another,
You'll regret it all one day
"Dean?" Cas croaked. Bud dum.
"What's up?" I swiftly glided to Cas's bed. Bud dum.
"I... I need a favour." Bud dum.
"Anything." Bud dum.
"Could you please call my sister, Anna, and ask her to bring the stash. The number is programmed into my cellular device." Bud dum.
"I'll just be a moment." I called Anna and she said that she would be there in ten minutes. Bud dum.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
Cas was suffering. Bud dum. And with his suffering, I hurt even more. Bud dum. Anna had been and gone with the locked box. Bud dum. Cas have me the key to open it. Bud dum. Inside was a first edition Book of Enoch, a crystal (a good luck charm Cas later explained) and an old flyer for an Elvis show in Philadelphia. Bud dum. Cas got me to read the main sections about fallen angels in the Book of Enoch, they were his favourites. Bud dum. He particularly liked Castiel, the angel whom he was named after. Bud dum.
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I had finished the very large section in a few days. Bud dum. Cas resulted in snoozing for a while. Bud dum. On November 2nd, Cas was sleeping away. Bud dum. He was connected to the large heart monitor which still had a steady beat, things were looking up for us. Bud dum. That was until the monitor just stopped. Beeeeeep. It was as if it were broken. No, I knew it wasn't broken.
Please don't take my sunshine away
Cas was dead. Gone. My mom died on November 2nd…