A/N: `Just a nice little one-shot that came to me a few days ago. Maybe it'll evolve into something bigger, who knows. Enjoy
"Illyria, I must say this petroglyph you've acquired is remarkable." Wesley Wyndam-Pryce leaned so far over the desk as he examined the work with complete awe. "I'd say these markings are at least 4th century, but it's impossible to know for sure, until I check my scrolls."
"These primitive ramblings are not foreign to you?", Illyria cocked her head in curiosity, studying the Englishman. Realizing more and more with every passing hour and day that maybe just maybe, the world is more interesting with people like Wesley in it, and for now, Earth is not worth conquering just yet.
The demon hunter encircled the steel desk, ever so slightly his eyes never breaking focus on the text before him. For a moment the Demon goddess had wondered if he'd even heard her question.
Wesley halted in his tracks. In a swift motion his hand grazed the switch of the compact desk lamp. Something, caught his eye.
The former watcher hunched over the markings, practically burying his face in the relic, before the realization that he was staring at a speck of mud, hit him. Leaving him mildly disappointed.
"As I said, I'll have to refer to my collection of scrolls, for a definitive translation", the man said, still not paying the slightest bit of attention to the goddess in the room with him.
"My actions, do they not please you? I engaged several scores of Andorian demons to acquire such a prize?"
"No no, Illyria, you've been tremendously helpful."
Before the dull conversation could be carried on even further the occupants of the small office were caught off guard by the thundering crash of the doors of the Hyperion Hotel being forcefully kicked open.
Drenched in a reddish pink slime Angel stumbled through the doorway, with Gunn right behind him. Limping as the both of them hurled the decapitated body of a portly slob across the cold marble floor.
The intrusion of the disheveled heroes did not go unnoticed as both Gunn and Angel were greeted by surprising looks from both Illyria and Wesley as they'd stepped out of the office.
"Yeah, just hold the applause, everyone", Angel deadpanned while Gunn shucked off his hooded jacket, making a mental note to burn it. Which really chapped his ass a little bit because that jacket was one of his favorites.
"Angel, what's going on?" Wesley leered.
"How 'bout a little more compassion seein' as we just went all Tarantino on Hallicarnassus over here", Gunn shot back, most of his anger deriving from the fact that his jacket was ruined.
Hallicarnassus? The admission shocked both Wesley and Illyria. Giving into that curiosity the two of them walked over to the body on the floor, effectively joining their comrades.
"This...this vestigial blob is the feared Hallicarnassus?" Illyria stated as she gave the lifeless body an incredulous kick. As Wesley squatted down with the intent to examine the body.
Angel pinched the bridge of his nose, before wiping excess slime off his cheek. "Yeah, well apparently rumors of his ghastliness have been greatly exaggerated."
"Yeah as it turns out fat boy, over here was trying to impersonate Marlon Brando to lure chicks into his woo wao tang Chinese restaurant to eat them", Gunn affirmed.
"It was Wao Sang" Angel corrected.
"Woo Sang, or Wao Ting Ting, it doesn't matter, the important thing is we caught the demon bastard."
"Angel food-cake, did you guys really kill Marlon Brando?" The group all looked towards the doorway to acknowledge the fact that Lorne, had dropped by. Surveying the damage to the door, the flamboyant green demon stopped dead in his tracks upon the site before him. "Hey I can come back at a later time, guys."
Wesley, Gunn, Illyria, and Angel all shot the green bastard an incredulous look.
"Hey now, prima-donnas I'm not cleaning up that mess." Looking down at the pool of slime, the crew of Angel Investigations realized they were in for one hell of a long night. Bringing the body of the demon back was necessary, it could only be disposed of via magic. All of the team, except for Illyria reasoned that in the end it wasn't so bad, they got a mass murdering demon off the streets.
Clean up, turned into a six hour ordeal as Wesley, Gunn, and Angel scrubbed the putrid bile off the floors, while Illyria stood off in the distance leaning against the stone wall, chowing down on an Earthly delicacy known as Tacos, which the goddess would never admit out loud that she'd acquired an affinity for. The blue lady rethought her previous decision about destroying humanity, as she reluctantly joined her comrades in scrubbing the floors.