I'M TAKING REQUESTS!
Hello! This is a oneshot series I've been planning for... some while I guess? Also! I know it says "complete" for this story but that's just because I have no idea how much I'll be updating or if I'll ever stop, but most chapters are already standalone so it... works out? It's just easier for me to organize in my head haha
So basically what's going on here is all the main cp characters finally escaped from Heavenly Host (but it took an unreasonably long time because I have this headcanon that when they don't all make it out of HH (the kisaragi nine that is) they end up eventually getting forced back into that timeline again, like a "loop" unbroken until either all of them or none of them die... it's complicated xD I've written a lot about it if you're curious to see more? But anyways EVERYONE'S OUT NOW and just because I might also feel like writing them, the Byakuden kids/Naho and co/pretty much everyone else also have the potential of showing up. Yeah even misuto pff that nerd
I take requests!
If there's a chapter you want devoted to practically anything in the cp universe, it can be written! A backstory about some really awful thing that happened in Heavenly Host (heck, if you hate, say, Satoshi, a lot, you could ask me to write a chapter about one of the ways he died when he was back in HH—and even give me suggestions for how it happens xD) I can write shippy chapters for characters you like together, if you can help explain to me why you ship them I can do something for that... so yeah pretty much anything except maybe not rated m stuff because... I dunno, I've never written it before xD but maybe I'll change that rule, who knows?
After Host
1: (Prologue) Homecoming
Mayu
I didn't mean to be a bother, Mom. I'm sorry that I was. But I was so scared. And I know I tried to tell you this, what sort of sensation could force fear to another level entirely, what might cause your daughter to violently alter seemingly in front of your own eyes, what possibly changes the world we live in so abruptly, yet invisibly, that all of a sudden, unease sets in like a foul odor, staining the walls, the carpet...
You didn't understand. But I don't blame you. It's not your fault that you don't understand. People... shouldn't go where we went. People don't belong there. I can hardly believe what happened to us; how could someone who's never even heard of it even dream of comprehension? It even sounds like a nasty sort of dream, nothing tangible.
You tried, though. Thank you, Mom, for trying. I really appreciate the effort you put into it.
Some things I'm afraid I just couldn't tell you, no matter how much I wished for you to understand. Like that I've died. Oh, God... I've died so many times. How would that make you feel, if I told you that? If I took your hand and depicted, vividly, eyes wide and hollow and breath cold on your skin, if I read to you the sorts of memories locked up in my skull? If I accurately painted the sensation of watching your insides expunge to the outside of you, if I could describe the anatomy of some organs you may not know even existed?
Then—Then I would be c-crazy, right? Who's seen themselves die hundreds upon hundreds of times in such a visceral agony that it all starts to blend together, when the crescendo of death becomes practically boring for you, it's happened so often? Who reaches a point where every time their spirit sifts out of their corpse and stares out upon shaking, bluish hands they only sense a faint twinge of disappointment?
Ha-Hahaha... Nobody, that's who.
Nobody but me. And them.
But you wouldn't believe me if I told you there were more of us. If I told you that all of my dear friends from my old school departed with me on this gruesome, never-ending epic, we-well, maybe if they were around to defend that point things would be different. And that's why I couldn't stay. Not with you. Not... so far away.
Mom, do you remember when Dad told me I needed to go outside more? That I looked pale, that I needed to get off my phone? I remember you tried to defend me, voicing that of course I looked pale, I missed all my friends from school, of course I needed time to adjust.
I never told you that I hated your fighting. I-I probably never will.
You'd think that such an ordeal would strengthen me enough to face my every-day fears, the ones whose risks are exponentially lower than that of a nightmarish purgatory where death is always imminent yet supposed to be fought.
Ha-Haha...
Sometimes I called Shige-nii. When you fought. Before Dad decided that I needed to get off my phone and you eventually gave in, that I could last a little while on my own, that I could make new friends at Byakuden, right?
Shige-nii's the boy from theatre. The one you really liked. I-I really like him too... I wonder how he's been these past few weeks. Not hearing from him hurt somewhere deep inside of me, a dull aching that wouldn't go away, like an old... wound.
He hasn't responded to any of my last texts... Nnn...
But—But Yoshiki told me he should be okay... that he's trying to do his best to watch over him, ha-haha... not that Shige-nii thinks he needs anyone else... He's the independent type... I always liked that about him.
It took a long time for Dad to give in himself, huh. I guess a little over a month doesn't sound very long, in one sense, but in another it was awful. That... broken connection, that missing piece left out of me—Oh, I couldn't believe it when we all finally made it and I get home and there they are, the boxes, s-sooo many boxes.
Of course I was still moving, I guess... Why wouldn't I be? It's not like S-Sachiko could change that.
I kind of wish she did. It's... stupid, I know. And it doesn't matter anymore. But some useless part of me still kind of wishes she did.
Do you remember that, Mom? Dad thought my panic attacks weren't very big, or scary, or anything, that I was just making a fuss because now I didn't want to move when for so long I hadn't said a word about the exchange. Y-Yeah, I guess I could've tried to convince him otherwise, that I didn't want to move, that I never had, but... but—but then you'd yell again...
I'm sorry...
It must have been a burden on you, persuading him that I needed to go back. That the Shinozakis already agreed that they didn't mind if I stayed with them for some time instead of growing roots at my new school. That Ayumi missed me too... heh... But I think Ayumi got her sister to help, that her family hasn't really agreed on it, but once I'm there it'll... Pff, this doesn't sound like a very good idea, now that I think about it...
Shige-nii... you always knew how to make a sound plan. People didn't... really know you, so they didn't always listen to you, but... but I did. I want to think I always did. Heh, I'm sorry if my memory's faulty... I really care about you. I wish I could have had your input on the situation but you never... responded. P-Please don't scare me like this. Shige-nii.
Maybe you're nervous too. I... still remember what you said to me, when you saved me. The ghost girls were going to drag me and slam me and then I'd b-b-be all over the wall again and then you—and then you—Oh, Shige-nii... I-I was killed later on, wasn't I. I can't remember by what. That final run through Heavenly Host was so... surreal. Seeing everyone there. I could hardly believe it.
When I look up from my seat the world spins and I wince, staring back out the window.
I shouldn't think about these things so much. Heh, that's probably why my panic attacks started in the first place. But I can't help it...
Nnnnngh... that really big one's what saved me in the end. I collapsed... at school... and it was really bad. They couldn't get me to wake up, I heard, but maybe I hit my head when I fell or something. P-Probably. I ached all over when I went conscious. The kids in my class didn't seem all that bad, but... but I'm afraid I missed out on getting to know them very well. Yamamoto-san wished me off when I told my class, n-not a month after coming, that I was leaving already. Back home. And—And Kurosaki-kun too, he was really nice about it.
They kind of looked like they felt pity for me. Heh. Like I was an abandoned puppy.
Well that's okay. H-Heheh. I kind of felt like one.
…
Kshhhhhhhhhh...
Oh—the train... I try to stand as the engine halts when a wave of vertigo swamps over me. I literally smack into the chair in front of me. My feet stumble over each other. And then I buckle and before I know it I'm falling, hitting the hard ground below and I can't hardly see, the world's such a... blur.
No, no... No, that's not true; I look up and there—she—is—such ungodly long, dark hair, like that of a shadow's, her thin lips pursed into a grin, this child with her tiny fingers tickling her mouth as she tries not to laugh so hard at me, at my idioc—
What... dark eyes you have. W-Wow. What dark eyes you have. A-Ahh—no—no no no—
I force myself back and the hallway unfolds in front of me, rickety floorboards and the stench of blood hot in the air. In the very edge of my skull I feel sounds etched against there—something—somewhere—I think I'm going deaf it's so hard to hear them and yet I feel it the voices must be so loud. A hand comes up sticky and I feel my face squeeze, struggling not to unload any more tears, and yet knowing... and yet knowing. I wipe the blood on my shirt vainly and tug myself to my feet.
Some part of me says it's because if I'm fast enough I'll outrun them. That's not true. Anyone with eyes can see what a sorry state I've gotten myself into. My leg almost completely snapped, profusely gushing—red—red—where my hand's findings came from. The other should support me if I'm careful but how can you be careful when the reason you nearly lost your first leg is because of a... a bear trap?
Shige-nii, I want to scream, but don't I always... Ohhh, p-plus, I should... I should conserve my strength. That's what he'd say. That I need to conserve my strength, I-I'm already bleeding out as it is.
Where is everyone? Why did they leave me all alone?
Filthy light filters in from the crooked ceiling. Patches of color sprawl out in front of me as I wander closer, closer, that buzz in my head electrifying. My dry lips attempt at syllables, but I lack the voice to word them. I don't know what I'd say, even if I had the ability. It's not like there's anyone to... to...
And then there she is again. Ferocious gaze and scrawny form, tiny pale fingers attaching to my forearm. The nails immediately burrow into my skin. I watch vacantly as blood beads. From somewhere behind her, where her other hand hides, the hard sssNITCH of snipping.
sNITCH. sNITCH. sNITCH. ssssSSNITCH.
Oh, I feel myself mumbling, too dehydrated, too numb to speak it, ohh...
But I'm draining out and lightheaded and it's too late for me, it's too late once again, here it is, here's my—my time. I see it in her eyes, her violently-shining eyes of perfectly rounded blades. Her mouth froths, slightly, in a corner, like an afterthought.
The tiny, sickly thing unmasks her scissors and launches her fisted fingers, tight around the handle, into my skull.
"MAYU! MAAAYUU!"
"Wa—Aahhh!"
Color explodes into my sight again. I'm reluctant to lift the trembling fingers from tightly clasped over my gaze. Oh—Ohh, I can't speak, my—my heart's thumping in my chest and—and I can... hardly breathe, I—I'm breathing too fast, too fast, ohh, my chest throbs...
I'm slow to lift my head, to move my hands back and glance up at her. "A-Ayumi..." For a moment I sit in dumbfounded, embarrassing silence.
Blush heats on my cheeks. I sputter. "Ayum—A-Ayumi, I..." I try to fixate my gaze on her... but I'm so... I'm so... I... oh, I but scrape her quiet blue eyes. "I'm sorry, I... Oh, no, I think I..." Mayu, Mayu... c-calm down... you can't get a sentence out in this state, h-huh? H-Heh... "I must have... had another one of them. I-I'm sorry."
Concern laced with deep-rooted sympathy glows in her face. "No, no... Mayu..." She reaches out a hand toward me. I realize I'm still sitting sloppily on the... on the floor of the subway. O-Ohh... Oh, no... H-How long was I...
As I lean into her, my eyes puncture the world around us.
It appears the passengers have mostly dispersed, though I think I catch a few still milling about, eying my general direction when they assume I'm not looking. Ha-Haha, what a scare on them when I am.
Ayumi pushes herself in front of me. "Don't pay attention to them." Her lips press together, a sort of determined color dying her face. "They don't understand. They don't—They don't matter." Steely blue gaze. Deep breath. "Can you... get up?"
"Ye-Yes..." I stumble on all fours. "Yes, I... I think so." Carefully pulling my feet under me—and—and—ahhh—stumbling against Ayumi, who quickly catches me. "A-Almost! Hahaha... Almost."
She watches my demure smile, tilting toward the aisle. We slowly wend our way through our thoughts and the train and I voice my thanks to the driver before Ayumi assists me down a small number of stairs. And then it's concrete, and then it's up another flight... and then it's outside.
"Wow," I murmur. Ayumi glances toward me again. "I recognize where we are, he-heheh." She snorts, nudging my shoulder, a little oh, do you sitting in her eyes.
As I recover, she leans a little less and less toward me until I only brush her side every few strides. The sun is blaringly bright, heavy on the concrete sidewalk, a weird, hot comfort on my back. Small shops and apartments pass us by and I think I remember browsing at this spot or buying a gift from somewhere else... yet at the same time there's like a veil, hazy, over what I swear I once knew so well.
How long have we been gone truly, huh? Not hours passed in this world, but... it had to be more than that. Nobody else knew it happened, but... it had to be real. Pff... I can map out the landscape of that school without ever seeing it again, yet I don't even know the directions to my old house anymore. O-Or my new one for that matter, ha-haha.
"It... was like I lost my mind, when I moved." I'm quiet at first. "Nobody knew a thing about... about there. And you were all here, so it was... it was just me." I wrestle with a smile on my face. "It was scary. But it... it all happened though, didn't it? We... died." Deep breaths, Mayu... Oh... "It's hard not to think about... Ayumi, do you still?"
She left her hair down today. Small, tousled strands of blue shift with her figure. Her sweater is fuzzy, more akin to white than any other color, but I catch hints of other things in places... though it may just be lint, heh. "Yeah." As her head tilts, shadows gouge under her eyes. "Can you... sleep? I-I swear I feel like, when it's dark out, that it might just happen again or..." She trails off, eyes glassy. Her voice is rough. Mine is practically a ghost. Haha... both of ours are.
"Sometimes. Heh, I'm more tired than... anything else.
My fingers tighten around Ayumi's. "But we did it, yeah? No... more." No more. It's a little easier to smile. "How is Shige—"
"God, I knew you would ask that. Shi-ge-niiiiiii..." She rolls her eyes. A teasing grin bounces onto her face, quick and happy to be there. "I think he's a little nervous to see you, after... everything."
"He hasn't responded to things I've sent him," I mumble, mostly pouting.
Ayumi nods slowly. She has nothing to say to that, but I think there's a sliver of recognition in her gaze. "Well, you're back now. Heh... You can go pester him in person."
"Pff... No, I don't want to pester Shige-nii..."
She snorts. "Well I pester Yoshiki all the time." A bit of a smug look on her face. Silly.
"Ohh, but Yoshiki has a job! And lots of other things to be responsible about!"
"Yeah, like his relationship!"
"Pahahaha! Ayumi!" But she is right... heh. In a way. Still, Yoshiki works so hard already. Haha, I trust she doesn't tire him out even more.
Quiet again for a little longer. I don't know if I've been to Ayumi's house before—heh, some memories from before He-Heavenly Host are so hazy—but I get the feeling it's not much further. Maybe Ayumi's anxious stare gives it away, though. Heh. Oh, Ayumi.
I nudge her a little. "Thank you for letting me stay with you. Eheh, it'll be like a... a reaally long sleepover."
"Heh, yeah. Um..." She puffs her cheeks slightly. "I... don't know if you can stay for so long though. My... well..." Ayumi releases a small breath. "My parents aren't... exactly toward the idea. Onee-chan understands, but... that's because she's onee-chan." Hinoe. Heh, I've heard a lot of her since meeting Ayumi. One might say she... idolizes her sister. Slightly. "Just, uhhhh, be yourself. They'll like that."
"They will?" I squeak.
Ayumi snorts. "Well, yeah! You were, like, Kisaragi's idol! You're so sociable, and gracious and kind and... and you... you're so good at getting people to like you. But... in an honest way—you're genuine, not... se-secretly cruel or... anything." Her voice goes soft. "Are you... okay, Mayu? I mean—heh—of course not, but... you look sad."
"A-Ayumi..!" I blush again, squeezing her fingers. "Heheh... maybe a little. I'm sorry, it's..."
"Don't be sorry," she mutters, "you have no reason to be." A pause. Her eyes darken. "Oh, God... I'm thinking about how many idiots have asked you things like that without knowing why you... nnngh! That's so... Ugh, what..." She can't—she can't even finish a sentence..! "It's stupid!" Kicking a pebble across the sidewalk. "It's so, so stupid! G-God, why did we have to go through that hell?! It doesn't make any sense! We never did anything! We never, we..." Little clear crescents form in her eyes.
I gently tug her. "Ayumi... It's o—well... well, no, I guess it's not very okay but... but it is, still. It's over. We made it. And it's not just you, or me... it was all of us. And we're not alone in all this. Heh..." I lose her gaze. "I'm just... I really am happy I can stay at your house with you, eheh..."
"But you might not be able to stay for long..."
"That's okay!" I sputter, "It's okay because I can stay with Yoshiki!"
Ayumi turns abruptly. "MA—"
"No, no! He doesn't have a family to worry about! And! And Yui! I can stay with Yui! Or... maybe Satoshi, if his mom's anything like him and Yuka!" Hahaha... or I can just stay with Yoshiki. Pff, that would really annoy Ayumi, though... Nothing she'd be so bold to shout over, but... an irksome matter ever so. Heheh, maybe not Yoshiki then.
Or Naomi... she said it was just her and her mom... so maybe that would be okay—or Seiko... heh. I have so many options, wow... heheh.
Shige-nii's parents are scary... I don't know if I could go over there. Ma-Maybe I can see him soon though. Shige-nii...
Ayumi flattens out her scowl. "Yeah... you're right, I guess."
She releases a breath and suddenly envelops me, her grip tight.
"Ay—" I stumble, sputtering. "A... Ayumi..."
It's hard to let go.
When we finally get to the Shinozaki home we're late for dinner, haha...
yes everyone is on a first name basis, even yui and shi-ge-niiiiii xD
It's because, as mentioned in the story and by me... they've been through a lot together. Like a lot, like an impossibly lot. Haha.
Also, mayu's new school was byakuden and mitsuki and kurosaki were mentioned ohhhhhh
I know Ayushiki and Mayushige were both heavily hinted in this chapter (and you bet there's more from those/other ships to come) but if you want a chapter dedicated to, like, Mayushiki or, uh, even like Mayumi or something, I mean I'd be down for that xD
so there you go, tone of the series xD ahaha
I'M TAKING REQUESTS!