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EmPOV:
"Hey, Rose, Jasper, Alice, Bella, come here!" I yelled. Edward had to hunt; he hadn't in almost two and a half weeks. I thought this might be the perfect time to get revenge on him for gluing all of my weights to the ground 3 days ago, which devastated me when I thought I was too weak to pick them up.
Edward's choice in music was classical, soft, la-la music. I personally did not understand how he could let that stuff float through his ears and into his brain. Well, this prank was about all of the music and songs Edward hated. Not that I particularly liked all of the songs I had in mind, but I'm sure they would drive him mad.
"Okay. I know I'm not the only one that wants revenge on Edward for doing something to them that they didn't like. Rose, you haven't gotten him back for cutting the ends of your hair off last week, have you?" She let a growl slide through her clenched teeth. "Or Alice, when he smeared your make-up all over your Juicy jacket. Okay, I helped with that, but still." I saw when she shot me an evil glare.
Jasper was beaming. I could tell he was as eager about this as I was, and he didn't have any idea what we were doing yet. Bella sat with wide eyes, and it was obvious that she didn't want any part in this. "You know, Bella, if you don't help us with this, we are just going to do something even worse. I promise you, in helping us do this, Edward won't be physically in pain." I smiled, imagining Edward anchored to a chair, covering his ears, though we all knew that wouldn't help. "But it will be very, very funny."
I explained to them what we were doing. Right when Edward comes home from hunting, Alice will chain him to the couch in the living room. Then we will start the show. We will be dancing a bit, too, knowing he wouldn't like that, either. I had to admit, though, that he would probably laugh, because it was pretty funny.
We practiced twice, knowing we wouldn't need any more than that. Alice saw Edward coming home in 3 minutes and 42 seconds, so we all got into positions and thought of a blank wall so that Edward wouldn't know what we were doing. I grinned in anticipation.
EdPOV:
Uhgg… I only found one mountain lion when I went hunting, and a few deer. Not my favorite, but it'll have to do. I was running home now, going at full speed so that I could be with my Bella sooner. As I got closer and closer to the house, though, I saw 4 blank walls in my mind. Oh, no. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice were up to something, something that they didn't want me to know about.
As the house came into view, I could hear Carlisle as he thought about a patient he had worked with today at the hospital. Esme was in the garden planting more tulips in her beloved flowerbed. I couldn't hear any other movements, and I still saw the 4 blank walls. Then what was Bella doing? I should be able to hear what she is doing, though I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I heard nothing.
I became more suspicious as I got towards the big, white door to our home, so I slowed as I opened it, trying to hear anything from my brothers and sisters. Slowing was not the best idea I ever had. I was tackled into the couch and in the same milli-second, was chained down with tons of chains. I heard Alice whisper in an evil voice as she ran from the room, "Enjoy the show."
Then I saw Emmett at the top of the staircase, talking to Rose. "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside yo trunk?" Oh, no. No, no, no. I absolutely despised this song, and I could see it wasn't going to get better.
Rose answered as she made her way down the staircase, "I'm a get, get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. Check it out!" She swung her butt in Emmett's direction.
Then I heard Alice enter from the kitchen, and I looked to see her sagging some camouflage cargo pants with a matching jacket, big, white sunglasses, and HUGE hoop earrings. "Soulja boy off in this OH! Watch me crank it, watch me ROLL! Watch me crank that soulja boy that superman that hoe. Now watch me YOU! Crank that soulja boy!" She was even doing the dance to the song, and if it was possible, adding some grace to it. Little tiny Alice is going gangster on me.
I heard a noise in the living room, on the other couch. I snapped my head in that direction, and immediately regretted it. Jasper was lying on the couch in one of Alice's silky, frilly nightgowns, and that was NOT something I needed to see.
"I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me." As he reached for me, I looked away, and if I could have blushed, I would have. "I still feel your touch in my dreams. Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why. Without you it's hard to survive!" He dramatically draped his arm across his forehead like a drama queen.
I heard Esme join Carlisle at the foot of the stairs, where he was practically on the floor laughing. I guess he had been there the entire time. Esme was very confused when she saw what was going on. When she saw Jasper and his outfit, her thoughts were full of aimless questions, not really aimed at me.
Oh, My! Jasper, what is he wearing??!!? Is that…Alice's lingerie??? Oh my!
I'm sure Jasper himself could sense the confusion coming from her, and the hysteria coming from Carlisle. I glanced back at Carlisle to see him clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard. With that, I had to laugh, too.
Alice and Rose marched in with white go-go boots on and dresses that resembled the English flag. I hadn't even noticed them leave the room.
(Alice) "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!"
(Rose) "So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!"
(Both) "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna…"
Emmett interrupted them mid-song to switch it to another song on my top 5 least favorites. "I wanna love you (love you) you already know, I wanna love you (love you)! You already know, girl!" Then Jasper joined Emmett in the torturing of my ears. Luckily he decided to change into some decent, although gangster, clothes.
"Smack that, out on the floor! Smack that, give me some more! Smack that, till you get sore! Smack that, Ohhhhhh!" Great. They got the number one song on my All-Time Top Worst Songs Ever list. They had started to smack Rosalie and Alice's butts as they sang.
Then, Bella walked in, walking between Rose and Emmett, and Jasper and Alice. As she did so, Emmett and Jasper turned to her and both smacked her in the butt at the same time. Bella didn't even seem fazed, and as she came up to me, only to turn around and walk back, I saw that the back of her shorts said Smack That.
Wow.
My sweet, little, shy Bella, wearing Smack That shorts. I got a weird feeling, and I suddenly realized that I wanted to smack that. Oh my god, what was I thinking. Bella strutted from the room, looking more like she was on a runway than in my living room. What had I done to deserve someone so beautiful? Even when she was human, as she tripped over a flat surface, she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.