Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT but I really wish I did.

So this is a modern AU fic that I've had in my head for a while.

This Chapter is Rated M, and it will likely be the only smut in the story, hence the T rating for the rest of the story.

The smut is very plot relevant so bear with lol.

If you are a fan of my other stories, I love answering questions about my fics and I love long reviews.

Enjoy and please review!

Chapter 1: Lonely Hearts

Her rum appeared before her, and Emma wasted no time in taking a hefty sip. She definitely needed it. Her usual drink of choice was rum and coke, but after the bomb her roommate and best friend Ruby had dropped on her today, Emma needed a stronger drink.

All of her life Emma had been abandoned. Why should Ruby be any different? After two years of living together, and worming her way into Emma's life and defenses, Ruby decided to move in with her girlfriend of ten months, Belle.

It wasn't that Emma wasn't happy for them. They were her only friends, the only friends she allowed herself to have, and Emma was honestly happy for them and happy that they were happy. But after twenty-four years of being abandoned by everyone who ever mattered to her, Emma couldn't stop the ugly feelings of self-loathing and worthlessness that creeped up. Ruby was literally moving a few blocks away, and she promised Emma that nothing would change, but too much would change. Ruby and Belle would be together and happy, and yeah, maybe they wouldn't forget about Emma, but Emma herself would still be alone.

She really should've known better. She was always meant to be alone.

Taking another sip, she paid no mind to the man who slipped onto the stool next to her, who also ordered rum.

When his rum arrived, the man turned to Emma, holding up his glass. "To lonely hearts."

Emma turned to look at him, breathing sharply when her eyes connected to the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Deeper and fuller than the sea, those blue eyes spoke of loneliness and longing, but more than that, Emma saw something of herself reflected in his eyes.

Inwardly shaking herself, her gaze drifted from his eyes to his face. High cheekbones that were tinted with red, hidden under a mixture of dark brown and ginger scruff, with a scar slashed across the right cheek just barely discernible in this lighting, a dimple peeking out thanks to his smirk. His jaw was angular, but not sharply so, a softness in place instead. His black hair was tousled in a way that Emma couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or if it was natural.

He was mesmerizingly handsome, and it sent a flare of heat through Emma as she took him in.

Usually pretty eyes and a handsome face wouldn't have affected her, or if it did, she'd never show it, but she was feeling a little abandoned tonight, or else she would've ignored the heat, made a snappy comment and brushed him off. As it was…she didn't. "What makes you think my heart is lonely?"

"You're at a bar by yourself at five in the evening on a Tuesday, and you're drinking that rum like it's the first drink you've seen in years." Truth be told, Killian could understand why. Even with all his friends and his brother back in Storybrooke, he knew what it was like to be alone. Though his self-imposed exile from Storybrooke these past five years hadn't helped matters. The only person he even spoke to anymore was an old high school friend who was dating his roommate.

"Maybe I'm just enjoying a nice rum." She gestured to his glass. "I suppose that's why you're here at five on a Tuesday?"

Killian chuckled. "Ah yes. Well then, if your heart isn't lonely, what shall we toast to?"

Emma chewed at her bottom lip. This guy was friendly in a way most hot guys weren't as if he really did want to sit here and chat. A feeling of recklessness began to uncoil in her gut. "We could sit here and make idle chit chat, pretend that we're trying to get to know each other, laugh and flirt, and then head to your place to fuck." Emma rattled off. "Or we could cut the bull and just go straight to the prize."

She surprised him, this attractive enigma who had fire in her green eyes.

Killian downed his rum. What the hell? It had been over a year since his last one night stand and the only two friends that he had had been pushing him to get out more and socialize. They probably meant that he needed more friends and a girlfriend, but he wasn't ready for that. "If you think you can handle it."

"Trust me, buddy, you won't be able to handle it." Emma finished off her rum and stood. "Last chance?"

The man had a smirk that was sexy enough to melt any woman, or man for that matter, that looked his way. And boy, did Emma melt.

"You'll not be rid of me that easily, love."

She was certain that she was on fire as the man from the bar pressed her back into the door of his apartment, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along her throat, eliciting moans from her that none of her one night stands before had been able to draw from her. Then again, it had been about five months since the last time she had had sex with anyone, and that experience had been subpar.

His hands were sliding underneath the hem of her blouse as his mouth travelled lower. The hand she had in his hair clenched and she pulled, earning a throaty moan from him. Emma smirked. So he liked it a little rough, did he? She pulled at his hair a little harder this time, and he ground against her, his moan muffled against her chest, where he had been kissing her.

"Fuck." He panted, nipping his way back up to her neck.

"That is what we're trying to do." Emma teased.

Killian chuckled at her quick response. He really did like this woman, and he wished that she would give her name, or allow him to give her his, but he got the sense that he shouldn't push her.

He managed to pry his lips from the sensitive spot on her neck that had her flushed and panting, only to press them against her own delectable ones. God above, she was a damn good kisser, opening up for him, allowing him to take and giving just as much back. He wondered if this was what Heaven was like.

With much reluctance, Emma pulled away from the kiss, but kept her lips close. "Bedroom." She commanded.

He lifted her up without hesitation, forcing Emma to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, and locking her legs around his waist. Normally, she hated when guys attempted this little show of strength, because they usually dropped her or pulled something, which killed the mood, but this guy held her up and carried her with ease as if she wasn't all that heavy at all. To her surprise, he successfully navigated his apartment and opened the door without struggle.

Killian slowly let her drop to her feet so that every inch of their bodies felt each other. The woman let out an impressed sigh as her hands pulled his shirt from his pants.

"You need less clothes." Her sultry tone made him harden.

"So do you." He practically growled as one of his hands teased along the column of buttons on her blouse.

"Don't tear it." She warned him.

Killian smirked, and bent forward, licking a stripe along her throat. "I'll be very gentle with them." He promised, though he sounded like pure sin.

She was confused as to why his mouth was going lower instead of back to her lips where it belonged, Emma watched as he started to undo her buttons with his teeth. She was even more stunned that it actually worked, but his tongue, lips, and teeth against her skin soon made her forget that.

He looked up at her from his kneeling position, preening at her flushed body and uneven pants, and their eyes met.

Emma bit her lip hard as he undid her jeans with his teeth.

With her boots and jeans off, Killian gently pushed her back onto the bed.

"Your turn." Emma grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pulled it over him, tossing it carelessly away. Her hands snaked under the waistband of his jeans, finding the ridge of his erection beneath his boxers.

Emma swallowed at the intense expression on his face. God, no one had ever looked at her like that before. A sense of urgency overtook her as she finished stripping him, leaving him bare to her, his thick cock straining despite it's newfound freedom. Fuck her, he was larger than average and certainly bigger than most guys she fucked.

As she reached for his cock, Killian dodged her. "Ah, ah. Not yet, love."

"I'm not your love." She huffed.

"It's either that or your name." He offered.

She groaned. "Fine, love it is. Will you fuck me, now?"

Killian smirked. "Now, where's the fun in that." He lowered his head to to her chest, sucking a lace clad breast into his mouth.

Emma arched into him. "Shit."

As he suckled one breast, one hand began kneading at her other breast, while the other teased along her hip toying with the hem of her lace panties. He had her writhing underneath him, and for once, Emma was enjoying not being on top.

When he switched his mouth to her other breast, and switched hands, he changed it up, his right hand being bolder, pushed her panties down, and found her sensitive clit.

If she was of sound mind, Emma would've been embarrassed by the inhuman moan that escaped her as the man fingered her clit.

His thumb pressed up against her as his fingers travelled to her soaking core. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet."

Emma helplessly arched into him again as he began to pump one finger inside of her. "Well, don't stop now." She panted.

At her words, he added a second finger and began to thrust them into her faster, while his lips worked their way back up to her neck.

Her eyes rolled back at the sensations she was being subjected to. Fuck, this man knew his way around a woman's body, that was for damn sure. Emma had never been so turned on in her life. Hell, he made her want to throw out her one and done rule if every time was this good. "Ah." Emma gasped as he added a third finger, thrusting them in faster and harder. "Fuck!" Her eyes rolled back as her orgasm hit her full force.

Killian hissed with pleasure as her nails dug into his back, his fingers slowing down and helping her ride out her orgasm. He looked up from where he was marking the top of her breast to watch her. He swallowed as he took in the sheer, unabashed pleasure in her face, enjoying the flush that covered her face and spread down to her chest. She looked as absolutely wrecked as he felt. Slowly, he kissed his way down her body.

Opening her eyes, Emma watched as he went lower. "What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly, though her voice was more husky from pleasure than anything else.

"What does it look like?" He teased as he fully removed her panties.

"You don't have to." Emma blushed. Most guys never liked to eat her out, and the ones she convinced to do it failed spectacularly.

Killian chuckled. "On the contrary, I'd love to."

"Really, you don't, oh." Emma gasped, hands clenching the sheets as he licked between her folds.

"Believe me, love." He nipped at her clit causing her to press further into him. "I really want to."

With her clit in his mouth, Emma felt her pleasure ramping up again. Jesus, he had a talented mouth. "Oh God."

He moved his hands to her hips to keep them pressed into the mattress as he tongue pleasured her entering her heat and tasting her sweetness with abandon, her gasps and moans motivating him to work her faster.

"Ah, fuck, faster." She pleaded.

Killian was helpless to comply, his own need for her around his cock nearly too much for him to bear as he ground his hips into the mattress to give him some relief until she was ready for him.

It shocked her how quickly her second orgasm hit her, though not nearly as much as the fact that she actually had orgasmed twice now, and the man hadn't even put his cock to good use yet.

He didn't wait for her to come down this time, pushing himself up over her, kissing her before she could catch her breath.

Emma's hands flew from the sheets to him as he kissed her, pulling him closer to her. Her bra was off before she realized what his hands had been doing, and then he pulled back to open his nightstand, irritating her until she realized he was searching for a condom.

Killian gripped the foil package and looked down at her with a cheeky grin. "You up for it, love?" With a seductive smile that had Killian's heart thundering, she took the package from him and slyly ripped it open with her teeth. He watched entranced as she took the condom out, smirking at him as her free hand trailed down his chest to his strained erection before wrapping her hand around it. Killian's eyes closed as a deep moan left him.

Emma liked that noise a lot, pumping his hot, thick cock a few times, just to get him to moan again.

"Fuck, love." He growled, his hands gripping at her hips hard. "I'm not going to last if you keep that up." A sultry smile was her answer as her other hand moved to his cock and rolled the condom over him.

Her legs wrapped around him, pressing his length to her soaked heat. "I'm sure you can handle it."

It was that moment that Killian knew this woman would be the death of him. He pulled back and lined himself up with her entrance, slowly pushing inside of her. Killian's eyes rolled back, his teeth biting his lip, as her walls surrounded him. Emma gripped him tightly to her as she adjusted to his size that seemed to stretch her to her limit. "Fuck." She groaned into his neck.

Killian stopped once he was fully inside of her to give her a moment. "All right there?"

Emma nodded.

Taking that as a go-ahead, Killian began to move, unhurried, wanting this to last.

The slow pace was killing Emma, it was too close to something Emma didn't want to acknowledge and she was too on edge, needing this new fire he started up to be sated. "Faster." She urged, her feet dropping to the mattress to anchor her. "Faster."

Killian heeded her plea, bracing himself against the mattress as he hovered over her, thrusting into her faster, letting out a choked groan as she grabbed onto his ass.

When he hit her g-spot, Emma couldn't quell the passionate moans that left her as her toes curled into the sheets. "That's it." She gasped, desperately pulling him closer. "Right there."

He let out a growl of pleasure as he increased their pace. They were both close, he could feel it, and as much as he wanted this ecstasy to last, he wanted to watch her come. Bracing himself on one arm, his fingers found her sensitive bud again, rubbing against it.

"Oh God." Emma cried out as he worked her up again. She felt another orgasm mounting in her gut as they moved together. Not one to be outdone, Emma danced her fingers along his skin until she reached his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze.

His movements stuttered, a throaty groan escaping him. "That's not fair."

"It's completely fair." She breathed as she caressed his balls heightening his pleasure.

Killian's hips moved on their own accord as he was too far gone with pleasure and too consumed by a need to fulfill hers. He moved faster and faster, her moans spurring him on. "That's it, love. Come for me."

Her mind went blank as her climax hit her, seeing white behind her eyes, hearing an inhuman moan ripped from her throat. Her whole body shook as her walls clamped around him.

He buried his face in her neck as he thrusted into her, reaching his own climax. As they both came back to themselves, Killian pushed himself off of her, plopping into the mattress with little grace.

An amused huff left Emma.

Killian snuck an arm underneath her, pulling her to him.

He was kissing her before Emma could ask what he was doing. It felt good to be in his arms, having been utterly satisfied and feeling completely boneless, him kissing her like they had all of the time in the world. That, of course, caused Emma to panic. She wasn't the girl who stayed long enough to end up in a man's arms and enjoy the afterglow of sex. It was wham, bam, thank you Sam, and she was gone. The mere fact that it felt different with him should send her running for the hills and she didn't even know his name. She reluctantly pulled away from his kiss. "I should go."

Killian felt a stab of loss at her words. He wasn't ready for her to leave yet. They needed more time. "You could stay." He offered.

"I really shouldn't." Emma protested, but she made no move to leave his arms. She hoped that it was because her body physically couldn't move at the moment, and not due to the feelings this man was stirring inside of her.

"Just long enough to get feeling back in your legs." He suggested.

A wave of exhaustion hit her then. Three orgasms and very vigorous sex seemed to take a lot out of her. Biting back a yawn, she closed her eyes. "Five minutes."

Killian responded with a sleepy chuckled.

They were both asleep in seconds.

It wasn't the nightmare so much as the feeling of being suffocated that had Emma shooting up in bed, gasping for air. Her pants soon turned into a sob as she remembered the images of her dream; of florescent lights stinging her eyes while her baby boy cried, the cold feeling of handcuffs being placed around her wrists as her heart shattered, metal bars slamming every night before lights out…it was too much.

Warm hands wrapped around her shoulders. "Shh, love." She was pulled back into his arms. "I've got you. You're safe."

As her cries subsided, Emma stiffened as he comforted her. She didn't let people get close to her, especially not men. Not since that bastard that broke her heart and her ability to trust. She couldn't do feelings; not when this man felt safe and kissed her forehead like she was something precious that could be loved. The need to bolt only grew, but Emma sensed that he wouldn't let her leave so easily, not when she was in this state. She hated to admit it too, but she was reluctant to leave him.

With their bodies pressed together like this, she could feel him already half hard from sleep, and that sparked an idea. Sex was something that she could control and handle, and something that might make him forget about comforting her.

Killian started when her lips pressed forcefully against his as she pushed him back onto the bed. Her kiss was rough and demanding, leaving him no choice but to open up for her. He groaned when her hand wrapped around his half hard dick, moving her hand up and down to bring him to full hardness. The change in her only concerned him, so he pried his lips from her. "Love, wait."

"Shh." Emma kissed him again, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes, unwilling to let him show his concern. She didn't need someone who felt for her; she just needed a good lay, and he was it.

He felt a sense of powerlessness as she kissed him into oblivion, one of her hands stroked his sensitive cock, while her other hand drifted to his balls teasing them. His hips buck up to her, a need for her growing.

Emma positioned herself over him, rubbing her wet folds against his hard dick, earning a guttural moan from him. It was heady to have this power of him, to have him watching her through half closed eyes, a look of pure desire on his face. Their eyes met as she sunk down on his cock, both moaning as she slowly took him inside of her.

Killian grabbed her hips tightly, anchoring himself to her. She was much tighter this time around, squeezing him to the point he worried he'd come right then and there like a school boy. He breathed through his nose as he looked up at her, waiting for her lead.

Emma's eyes were closed as she adjusted to him as he felt much bigger like this, and it felt so good. Opening her eyes, she looked down at him, seeing that he was waiting for her. He was letting her lead. Bracing her hands against his chest, Emma leisurely began to move, sliding herself up and down his thick length, biting her lip as her belly tightened.

His breath caught as he watched her ride him unhurriedly, her eyes full of desire as she watched him, her bottom lip caught seductively between her teeth. He braced his feet against the mattress, matching her pace, unwilling to go faster, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. She was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and he wanted to have this moment forever.

They moved together, slowly building up their pleasure, and suddenly it was too much for Emma. They were supposed to be fucking, not doing whatever this was, not feeling so connected to each other. Desperate to break this spell they were under, Emma move her hips faster, needing to end this and break their connection.

Something spooked her, Killian could see that, but he didn't want her to fear whatever was happening between them. He hadn't felt like this in years, and even then, it hadn't been as intense as this. Killian grasped her hips, slowing her, before pulling her to him, turning them onto their sides.

Emma was startled by this new position, but she didn't stop him as he lifted her leg over his, moving himself so that he was half hovering over her, thrusting into her without hurry. She couldn't maneuver as well the way he had them situated, and just as she was about to protest, he angled his thrusts just right, hitting her g-spot. His lips caressed hers lightly, almost as if he was asking permission to kiss her. Emma kissed him back, their mouths moving as languidly as their bodies were, their pleasure slowly increasing. Her hands caressed his neck as they kissed, moving down to his soft chest hair, scratching lightly against his muscles.

They broke apart when the need to breathe became too much, but their foreheads remained pressed together. They breathed each other in as they reached their peak together, her walls shuddering around him as he spilled inside of her.

As they came down from their love making, Emma began to panic, hating the feelings he stirred. The feeling of being safe and wanted, the need to be loved, the possibility of more than just a one night stand. She needed to get out of here and get far away from him.

Killian was startled when she roughly pushed him off of her.

Her legs felt like jelly as she pushed herself up, eyes scanning the dark room for her clothes. A light came on behind her and she heard the sheets rustle. Ignoring him, she grabbed her jeans, pulling them on quickly, foregoing the search for her panties. Anything to get her out of her as soon as possible.

Killian pushed himself off of the bed, cautious of her frantic movements as she jerked on her bra and blouse. He wasn't sure what to say to hear, but he knew he didn't want her to leave. "Love, wait…"

"No." Emma bent down to grab her boots leaving the room. She didn't want to wait already feeling that she was risking a lot. What was she thinking staying as long as she did? She fucking fell asleep in his arms. She never let that happen before, and why did she feel this way for a one night stand who's name she didn't even know?

He followed her into the main room of the apartment, grabbing her arm before she reached the door. "Please wait." He pleaded. When she turned to look at him, her eyes were wild with panic, and it made his heart ache that she was so scared of what had transpired between them.

"Let me go." Emma hated how small her voice sounded.

Killian wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and hold her, but he complied with her wish, letting go of her arm.

She was out the door before he could blink, leaving him feeling more hollow and alone than he had felt in years.

Her apartment was dark and silent when she returned, and Emma hoped that meant Ruby was at Belle's or that she was asleep. She couldn't deal with a confrontation now. Not when all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry.

He was just a one night stand, but she felt like leaving him left a hole in her heart, and she didn't know why. It was just sex. Really, really amazing sex. The best she had ever had. There was no reason that she should feel this need to get attached to him.

Maybe it wasn't him. The sex was great, but maybe it was her loneliness that sought out attachment. Ruby was moving out after all, and it had made Emma feel alone and broken all over again. Maybe her feelings over that being on the surface was why she was latching on to this man who was there when she needed it.

She stripped off her clothes as soon as she entered her bedroom, and climbed underneath her duvet, aching with regret over leaving, and wishing that she had let him tell her his name at the very least. God, she was just too damn sensitive right now.

It had to be tied to Ruby's moving out and not to the man himself.

He'd forever be a nameless one night stand.

It was for the best. She couldn't get attached. As Neal had proved, she was a broken, unlovable woman, who didn't deserve love or people who cared about her. Ruby moving out only backed that up.

She was meant to be alone.

For the first time in years, Emma cried herself to sleep.

So this was my first attempt ever at CS smut, though not my first attempt at smut overall. Now the rest of the fic will be Rated T, so this is all you guys are going to get. Hope you guys enjoyed and stay tuned!

Please review!