Here is the long awaited sequel to Don't Let Go. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Fang's POV
"Can you see it? God, please tell me you can see it to? It's here. It wants. It's cold… So cold…"
"Max, can you hear it? Can you hear its hallow breathing? I can, I can hear every ounce, every fiber of its being, breathing." Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale…
"It's breathing for needs, not because it wants to. It breathes to smell for its prey. Please, Max, please tell me you know what I am talking about. I swear. I swear to you I am not crazy. This is what the world I was in looks like, the one I was trapped in, for what seemed like an eternity."
"I want to get out of here; I want to escape so badly. However, every time I think I found a way out, it snatches me back in, and constricts my body, leaving me breathless, and wanting more. But Max… I don't want it anymore. I don't want to be here alone. You have to help me. You have to help me find a way out. I can't do this alone. I never could. You are the only one that can help me." No reply…
I glanced to my right, then my left, quickly. "No… oh god no… Max!" I spun behind me, doing a full circle before doing it repeatedly, calling out her name. "Max! Max! Please! Don't leave me here alone! Help me!" I stop breathing heavily, feeling the salty tears glide down my cheeks. It got her to. It had to. It took her while I wasn't looking, and now I was alone again. That has to be it, it has her. She would never leave me right? Right? She promised.
She promised to never let go. Yeah, it has her. It is my fault it has her now. I should have never brought her here, but she came on her own. I had to remember that. She wanted to be here… but I didn't want her here and she knew it. "No… don't take her, anyone but her! Here you want me back! You can have me! I will go without a fight this time, just let her go!" I screamed into the vast darkness. Silence.
All I got was that eerie, silence. But, just as quickly, as that silence came, laughter, sick and twisted laughter broke through the barrier of my silence. It laughed at me. Mocked me, knowing that it can take what it wanted and never had to give anything in return.
If darkness, and evil had a voice, that was it, that deafening laughter, was it. I closed my eyes sinking to the ground, curling into a tight ball, the only place I could find some sort of comfort. Like a scared little child, I laid there, trying to block out the laughter. I just wanted out, was that so much to ask for? I never did anything to get here. What could I have possibly done to be in this hell?
"Max!" I scream. "Anyone! Please anyone! Help me!"
Max's POV
"Fang… Fang…" I whispered, shaking him roughly. His head rolled side to side, the thick tears gliding down his cheeks. "Fang… Wake up, its just a dream…" I said, a little louder, hoping not to wake anyone else up. He mumbled something faintly under his breath. It was to quick for me to catch, but I had a feeling I knew what it was. It was the same words every night. Alone. Darkness. Help.. These were the words he mumbled, the words that I wanted to take away from him. To replace with something much better, like together, and light, and saved.. It sounded corny to me, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything like that, so as long as it helped him. As long as it helped him move away from these dreams, these feelings.
Every night for almost two months now, he has had the same nightmare. The same nightmare, that he refuses to talk to anyone about.
I felt his body clench, his hands becoming fists at his sides, so tight that his nails dug into his palm, creating a small trail of blood. His nightmares, the ones he never talked about, were getting worse with each day. At first I could wake him up so easily, but now.. I gulped, shaking him more forcefully than I intended. It was becoming harder to wake him from this nightmare. Some nights, I couldn't wake him up, and those were the nights I had to wake up Angel and have my baby do, what I couldn't. Her ability to control minds, have been a help with nights like these. I glanced up quickly to Angel, who was asleep next to her brother. She was the only other one I told, in person about what was happening. The old me would have tried to protect her from what Fang was dreaming, but it had come to a point, where I set aside that protectiveness and let her help me. I needed her to help me, help him, It was a sick and twisted cycle that we played every single night. But
I couldn't wake her, not tonight. They all were exhausted. We had flown for hours, trying to find some place to settle for a few days. Even though I tried my best, and knew Fang tried to, to hide what was going on, the others knew. The others knew of our nightly struggles, and after a long debate, I had forced them all to let me handle it, that they didn't need to worry about this. If only they knew. If only they could imagine what I went through each day, they would never let me do it. They barely let Fang do anything without protest. But Fang was different.
I let go of him, sliding away, unable to wake him from this terror that what ever being was putting him through. Tonight was defiantly the worst. He mumblings became louder, until I could hear everything he was saying, every word that was forced between his clenched teeth. I scooted back over to him, prying his hand open, and sliding my own in between them, ignoring the stinging feelings I felt as his nails dug into my skin. I used my free hand, brushing away a few tears from his pale, sweaty face. I lent over, feeling his quickened breaths on my face, its uneven movements, as though each were forced. I ignored that idea, glancing at him again.
"Fang. I got you. I'm right here.." I whispered, locking my lips with his. I closed my eyes, kissing him harder. Please let him be alright, let this work, just this one time.
When I felt no movement back against me, I was about to pull away. But as if someone were answering my prayers, I felt a small twinge, a single movement, and then as if at once, I felt complete and synchronized movement with me. I felt tears slip from my eyes, happily, finally willing myself to pull away to breathe. As I pulled up, my eyes locked with his. They were blood shot and filled with so many emotions. Pain, terror, love. I placed my hand on his cheek carefully. "Fang." I whispered.
His eyes seemed frozen against mine, as he managed to detangle my hand from his, and wrap his arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around him, recuperating the gesture, pulling him up. His body pressed tightly against mine, his grip becoming a constricted vise. This was yet another routine that I had grown accustomed to after waking him up, but I didn't mind, not one bit. The fact that he was awake, and hugging me, was a sign that he was aware that I was here with him, like I have been, and will continue to be. I hope it will be a sign to him, that he can talk to me, that he doesn't have to be afraid anymore. That I was here to help him.
After what seemed like hours, I felt him relax, his body seemingly feel limp in my grasp. I pulled away, slowly, readying myself to pull him back in at the first sign of change. Finally I pulled back, far enough now to see into his eyes. They were no longer filled with the pain and terror I had seen earlier, but was now replaced by the mask he put up when he didn't want anyone to see what he was really feeling. Even though it was his best attempt to reassure me that he was fine, I could see through his mask, being perhaps the only one who could. Under the hallow mask, lied the vast pools of pain and terror. I wish he would just let me in. I needed to be in, to pull him out of the darkened waters he was drowning in. His mask though in essence, I knew, was also his way of getting comfort. Knowing that he could push aside his feelings, and lock them away, even if just for the shortest amount of time, it gave him piece of mind, and a sense of safety. But the mask I knew, in a matter of time, was going to break, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to take on what ever was behind it.
But… I had to do something, to prevent that from happening if I could. If I couldn't stop the nightmares, I had to stop something. No matter how small it seemed, maybe this one small thing will be the key to getting rid of the bigger things that were driving our lives out of control. Just maybe, it could make everything alright.
I sighed, detangling myself from him. I looked up, willing myself to ask the question I asked every night, hoping to myself, that he was going to answer and let me in.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I whispered. He shook his head, moving towards the fire that was barely burning. He picked up a stick, poking it a few times, before just staring blankly at it. I watched him for a few minutes, before sitting next to him. I glanced between him and the fire, before releasing a breath of air slowly. Another night of false hope.
"Your worrying the others, you know that right?" I began, folding my hands on top of my lap, and looking into the flame. I wasn't expecting an answer. It was more of an open statement.
"They don't need to be worried." He replied a minute or so later. I jumped a little at his response, surprised more by the fact that he answered my question. I glanced back at him, seeing his gaze still fixed on the small light burning in front of us. I could feel that small flicker of hope in me reignite. Maybe, tonight would be it.
"Well, you know them…" I sighed lightly. "And… You're worrying me to Fang… No not worrying, scaring me. The dreams are getting worse; it is getting harder to wake you up from them. It…
"What do you want me to do then, Max" He cut me off, his gaze my focused on me. I looked at him, surprised, and afraid. The flame died, quickly drowned out by the cold wind of the night.
He held out his hands in front of me pointing at me, then back to himself, then at his head, and to the sky, everywhere. His hands flew quickly, my mind not even registering where they were pointing, except for the fact that he looked like a mad man, as his voice got louder with every passing second.
"Tell me Max! You're the one that thinks you know what is best for me! Tell me! Do you wanna know about the dream? You wanna know about the place I go to? About the dark thoughts that what ever this fucked up place is, wants me to do, what it tells me to do Max!" His eyes were livid, but something about them, made me slide away in fear.
This never happened, not once did he ever raise his voice to me. Not once, in my life, through the school, through the times we have been together, had he… Ever, threatened me. Though I know the threat wasn't directed at me directly, none the less at anyone, something about the way he said it, about what it tells him to do. It almost seemed as though he were making it out on me, that its goals, its plan was for me alone.
I have been through much in my life, we all have, and we all have experienced something that has changed us in more than one way. I thought that it was all over though, that we could just pick up and leave, learning to live with what ever changed inside of us, but I was wrong. What ever happened, it seemed was only the beginning. The thought itself made me sick to my stomach, my heart clench, and my body quake. I couldn't go through anything like that again. I could handle the school, I could handle the tests, I could handle erasers, but I couldn't handle the thoughts of what I went through with almost losing him, with the thought of my family almost falling apart. The glue we had was reapplied and pressed tightly together.
I had wanted to believe it was superglue, that we were never going to come close as we did falling apart, falling apart, falling away from each other, but the glue seems to be breaking again. It's starting with Fang. His nightmares, his anger, our family couldn't handle another experience like this. I was only a teenager. I wasn't ready to handle this on my own, but I know I have to, I had to be strong for my family. No one was strong enough to hold us all together the last time, and I learned a valuable lesson from it, I had to be the one. I was the leader… But.. How long could I possible keep this up for. Even the strongest fall, but I couldn't afford to. I couldn't afford to let my family, to let him go, and fall through the cracks, but what was the cost to me…. He hurt me. His words, his actions, his hostility towards me, made my heart constrict. I was hurting, and falling quick. How..
No… I couldn't let myself think that… I…
I felt something quickly fall down my face. My mind came back to reality, realizing that my eyesight was blurred, that my world was blurred along with it. Unforeseen tears, trailed down my cheeks, drops hitting my hands. I tried my best to wipe them away. I would not allow him to see that he hurt me. That would make him feel worse. I wasn't going to hurt him, despite knowing that he was hurting me. I could handle it. I was the great Maximum Ride; I could handle any kind of hurt. I had to. I had to be strong, for not only him, but also the rest of my family, for myself. Being strong meant survival, weakness could not be shown, or it could cost us our lives.
But there was a part of me. A part of me that longed to openly cry when I was hurting, that screamed to let me show him how much he had hurt me, how much I was suffering to, but I silenced that part. Told it to shut up and never come back, but this time was different. Maybe it was because the way I thought about us, our relationship, changed me. The way everything was happening so quickly, and slipping out of my control. That I could only handle so much before I needed someone to be there for me to cry on. That I wanted him to see, that I wasn't as invincible as I made myself look.
I was brought back from my thoughts when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. The hand gently moved upward, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. I realized whose hand it was , the familiarity of it only brought more tears to my eyes. He saw how much he hurt me, he knew what he had done, and he was here being the strong one.
I was supposed to be the strong one… wasn't I?....... No. it wasn't a question.... I had to be.
Was it good? I hope so, it was really interesting writing it because I wanted to introduce a little introduction to Fang's world, as well as give Max's perspective on reality. Also for those who read the thing in my last story, Don't Let Go, chapter 9 with the prelude for this story, I think there was a little confusion. The person talking and thinking and acting is Fang, not Max. Sorry for the confusion there, but you will see what I mean better when the chapter with that scene comes. Thanks again for reading and don't forget to review, pretty please!!!!
Bree
