A/N - It seems I'm feeling very inspired these days. But with everything going on can you really blame me? Anyways, I was sitting on this for a while, opened it up and somehow got it finished so here you go. It's 2am and I'm posting weird angsty things, yays. Enjoy...

Stephanie watched him with a scowl on her face. He was sitting at the bar getting fawned all over by some red head. Seriously. The girl should have a little bit more respect for herself than to sit there like a cheap whore looking to get picked up for the night. But that's exactly what she wanted. She wanted to get picked up by him. She wanted to go back to his room, get fucked five ways to Sunday and spend the rest of her life bragging to her friends about the night she played the game. It made Stephanie sick to her stomach, the thought of him touching another woman. What made her even sicker was the fact that she had absolutely no right to feel this way. How ironic that she was sitting there judging this clueless red head and deeming her a whore when she was the one who most fit that description. Every year of her marriage had been a lie, the ring on her finger nothing more than a piece of metal and a painful reminder of what she had lost, not what she had gained. It symbolised her fear to stand up and fight for what she wanted, instead letting it slip through her fingers until she was reduced to this; a bitter and spineless coward embroiled in an endless affair with a man that she couldn't live with yet couldn't live without. So was her twisted fate.

The red head's high pitched giggle cut across the room making Stephanie's temper flare. Her eyes were glued to the other woman's hand as it temptingly trailed down his thick forearm. He leaned over and whispered something in her ear, this time drawing a soft and sultry chuckle. Suddenly an explicit image of them heaving together against a wall passed through her brain and it was enough to send her over the edge. She shot to her feet and reached them in a few long strides.

Paul hid his grin upon her appearance. He was surprised it had taken her this long if he was being honest. Because the second he had entered the bar earlier tonight he had seen her sitting alone at a table towards the back nursing a glass of wine and he had purposefully ignored her. Then Red had come along and he was perfectly content to sit there and flirt with her for however long it took for Stephanie to crack. And crack she had. The look on her face right now was beyond pissed. And just like that he had to have her. That's why he viewed this entire conversation as nothing more than an amusing waste of time. He knew he would be leaving this bar with Stephanie. He knew it before he had even sat down in his seat. They just couldn't stay away from each other.

"Ummmm, Paul? Who is she?"

"I'm his boss. Who the hell are you?"

"It's alright," Paul tried and failed to hide his chuckle. He held out his hand in a reassuring wave to the red head whose name he couldn't remember.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Stephanie couldn't believe this bitch. As if it were the most obvious statement in the world, "Yes." Her angry blue eyes followed the napkin as the other woman slid it across the beaten wood and under his fingers.

"Call me."

Paul simply winked at her before she was on her way. That's when he turned his attention to the woman currently burning a hole right through him. "That wasn't very nice."

"I don't care."

"Clearly," he rolled his eyes and finished the last of the ice water in his glass. Summoning the bar tender, he ordered another water along with a shot of whiskey and waited patiently both for him to return and for Stephanie to finish writing whatever the hell she was writing on Red's napkin. Her piercing blue gaze tore into him as she shoved the worn cloth into his hands. She then downed the shot as soon as it was placed in front of them and clicked her tongue at the strong taste.

"Ten minutes."

Paul was left staring after her, his darkening hazel eyes drawn to the swing of her hips and the curve of her ass. He could feel it stirring deep in his gut once again, that infinite pull and undeniable power she held over him. He glanced at the napkin with Red's number scrawled over it to find that Stephanie had circled three of the numbers. Her hotel room. Ten minutes was too damn long. The icy cool water chilled his throat as he downed the glass and started walking towards the doors. He could feel the eyes of the boys on him as he walked. They were all no doubt huddled around their table talking about it. Everybody knew. Just like the first time, it was hardly a secret. But this time Paul just didn't give a single fuck whether they did or not. Long ago he had cared what other people thought and it had cost him dearly. He wasn't going to let that happen again. He didn't give a shit if everybody in the back knew no less her dick husband. She was his heart and always would be regardless of the ring around her finger. She was the only thing that mattered. She was the only thing that would ever matter. A few short minutes later and he was at her door.

"I thought I said ten minutes?"

"I couldn't wait that long."

His reply was lost in her mouth as she pulled him into the room and into her waiting arms. They spun, her back hitting the door with a light thud, his body pressing her against it. Sometimes he found it hard to believe his desire for her. The fire just never stopped burning. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day he wanted her. When he saw her in the back, when they crossed paths in hotels and she had her husband on her arm, late at night when he sent her a message asking to meet in his room. It just didn't matter.

Stephanie's head was spinning. His lips were so soft on her neck. It was always this way between them; heated, wanton, urgent. Her legs fell open at the feel of his hand delving inside the tight denim material of her jeans. He undid the button, giving himself room to push her thong to the side and strum his finger against her swollen core. It was everything she needed all in one touch. His hand dropped lower and two thick fingers pushed inside, drawing a heavy sigh from her parted lips. Stephanie's deep breaths mixed with the strange rubbing sound created by his hand as he worked his fingers back and forth; stroking so precisely, so perfectly, it made her want to scream at the top of her lungs. Her fingers gripped his shoulder tightly, the other hand burrowing into his silky golden strands, gripping it, guiding his head to the spot just below her throat that drove her crazy. It was a wasted motion for he already knew where it was, his hot mouth sucking gently and working in tandem with his probing fingers to create an aching warmth in the pit of her stomach.

The phone rang three times before either of them heard it. Paul stalled his movements, his dark eyes locking with glazed over blue pools as the shrill sound registered with both of them. Her phone was ringing, the piercing hum invoking an almost uncomfortable atmosphere to descend around them. For they both knew who it was and despite their best efforts to the contrary, they both felt that small but significant sliver of guilt run up their spines. For Stephanie it followed her everywhere, a constant reminder of her infidelity. For Paul, it was a fleeting moment of guilt for what he was doing, of regret for what he should have done in the past and of insecurity at the thought that she might not choose him. On the other end of that phone call stood her life, a life without him in it, and he simply didn't think he had the ability to survive her walking away from him again, not when he needed her this much. The intrusive sound continued to penetrate the now sinful silence and Paul kissed her flush on the mouth, his fingers flexing inside her. "Don't answer it."

"God," she was breathless as his fingers continued to move, slowly winding her back up again. Her throat was dry and skin on fire. She couldn't concentrate like this. The phone. Her cell phone was ringing. It was her husband. She had to answer. "I have to…."

Paul could feel her reaching into her pocket and tried not to get angry when she answered the call. She probably thought it would make him stop. It didn't. He used his free hand to push her jeans further down her legs and manoeuvred the other into a position that allowed him to thrust into her freely.

"…oh God…." Stephanie muttered, hardly able to breathe. Her husband's voice was muted as she drifted closer to the edge. He was asking if she was there. "I'm….I'm here…..I'm here." Yes, she was there. She was standing there with her jeans at her knees pressed up against a door with another man's fingers expertly twisting inside her, his lips torturing her neck while she talked to her husband on the phone. She was a wretched bitch and deserved to burn in hell but by God if she was going she wanted to go like this. If she was going to burn, she wanted Paul to light the match.

"Stephanie, are you listening to me?"

"Yes….yes," she cried not knowing if it was in response to his question or in response to the incredible feeling beginning to spread throughout her body. She was getting close and this was getting dangerous, so dangerous that she didn't want to stop. "Sorry, it's the…..signal, I can't…fuck….."

Paul felt himself harden at the thought of what they were doing. He couldn't believe she let him continue to pleasure her while she tried to have a conversation with her husband on the phone. It made him want her more than he ever had. It became hard to keep his hand in motion as her walls tightened around him. She was teetering on the edge and he had every intention of making her jump off. He stroked in just the right motion to make her body jolt off the door as the orgasm began to rock through her.

Stephanie lost what little reserve she had left and let out a series of satisfied wails. Paul clamped his hand over her mouth and kept pushing into her with the other, absolutely revelling in the way her hips bucked against his hand so recklessly, like she couldn't have enough, like she never wanted him to stop, not even when her own husband might hear them through the phone. He heard a light thud and turned his head just in time to catch the black flash fall to the floor. She had ended the call. She had chosen him. The aftershock of her orgasm kept her hips shuddering and he slipped his fingers from her, grabbing her face and kissing her with everything he had. He just couldn't help himself as his hips ground into hers and they became a tangled mess against the door, tongues winding and bodies heaving.

5:37am. The bright glow of the alarm clock digits cast a faint green spell around the room. Stephanie continued to watch him as he slept. It was the only time she ever got to really look at him without fear of giving herself away. She couldn't do it at the arena, not with so many prying minds analysing their every move. Any time they bumped into each other in the presence of others she made a point not to look him in the eyes because she simply wasn't capable of controlling how she felt about him. Even more than that, she couldn't bear to see the look of pain that always gripped his face when he saw her with her husband. The familiar pang of guilt rattled through her body as she lay there only hours removed from giving herself so completely to him. It was only ever this way with Paul. It only ever had been. She loved her husband. Dominic was a good man. That's why her love for Paul wasn't enough to stop her from feeling like a bitch after they made love. It was also why she always went back to him.

Stephanie let out a wry laugh. What a damn fool. She had been so rude to that girl earlier tonight. Apparently her undeserved jealousy knew no bounds. She really had no right to control Paul's life like that, not when she didn't have the courage to do the one thing that would make him happy, make them both happy. He wanted to be with her. She still remembered the defeated look on his face as she told him no. They hadn't spoken for almost two months after that. Then one night she went to him, begging him for just one more night. One more night turned into two, three, four until they were right back where they started; forever together, forever apart. He sighed in his sleep, his body shifting against the sheets, the white material contrasting perfectly against his tanned skin. Stephanie let out a sigh of her own. She loved every single thing about him. Everything. Why did it have to be this way? The sudden rush of tears stung the backs of her eyes, catching her by surprise. Before she knew it, a few had trickled down her cheeks as she tried to control her breathing.

Paul lazily opened his eyes, his senses vaguely aware of a low sound above him. His big hand rubbed at his eye, wiping away the sleep to reveal Stephanie sitting up in bed next to him with her head in her hands. "Steph?"

His voice startled her and Stephanie jumped, quickly wiping her eyes in desperation. She didn't want him to see her like this. "Hey," she smiled, quickly bending down and kissing him deeply. She brought her hand to his face, stroking the stubble of cheek and silently thanking him for falling for her little distraction tactic. That thanks soon faltered when they broke apart and she met his questioning eyes.

He sat up and looked at her in concern. "You've been crying."

"It's nothing. Really, I just….."

"What?"

Stephanie held his stare, unable to tell him that he was the reason for her tears. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't they just be together without anybody getting hurt? It was funny how she always remembered too late that by continuing this little affair of theirs that he was ultimately the one getting hurt. Paul owned her heart but she could never be his, not when she belonged to somebody else.

"Stephanie?"

"What are we doing, Paul?"

The question threw him and all of a sudden Paul felt a horrible lump beginning to form in his throat. "What do you mean?" he asked even though he knew exactly what she meant. She was feeling guilty again.

"What are we doing?"

"You tell me. You're the one who invited me up here tonight. If you're feeling guilty about dear old Dominic maybe you shouldn't have let me finger fuck you while you talked to him on the phone."

His words were cruel but she expected nothing less. This is the way it went. They fought their feelings, eventually caved in, slept together and the cycle repeated itself. She became overwhelmed with guilt while he shut down in order to protect himself. Stephanie shivered slightly at the cool air that hit her naked body as he threw the covers off and began searching for his clothes. He hadn't even left yet and she already missed him. "Where are you going?"

Paul laughed bitterly, his eyes flitting about the room looking for his damn socks while his fingers buckled the leather belt around his waist. "I'm not going to stick around while you sit here feeling sorry for yourself." He pulled on his socks and spied his shirt half way across the room. His eyes met hers as he began to fix the buttons. "You know where to find me."

Stephanie stared after him as he walked out of the room and into the living room of her suite, listening to the sounds of him no doubt putting on his shoes but the expected angry slam of the door never came. The longest minute of her life passed before he slowly came back into view, his face solemn and expression vulnerable. It broke her heart to see him this way and the words that spilled from his mouth just about broke her soul.

"Are you ever going to leave him?"

"Paul….."

"Are you?" he pressed. "Are you ever going to leave him?" Paul stood in the doorway to the bedroom and looked at her for what could be the last time. Because he didn't know how much longer he could do this. It tore him up inside that he couldn't stay, that they went to separate homes, that they weren't together. It had taken him a long time to realize that all this sneaking around was only hurting him in the end. She had him to go back to. Paul had nothing. "Because I don't think I can let you walk out of here knowing where you're going, knowing that you're going back to him."

This time the tears fell freely and Stephanie didn't even try to stop them. Her heart was thumping in her chest, mere seconds from breaking into a million pieces. Her eyes begged him. "Please don't do this."

Her voice was shaky and Paul felt himself shatter as a sharp burn stung the back of his skull. This was really happening. "You always go back to him." He wanted to laugh at himself for being so naïve. She may choose him in those heated moments where the pull between them was so strong it drove her to do things like she had done earlier tonight. But ultimately she always chose Dominic. He was the one she went home to and Paul wasn't prepared to settle for it any more. He was so in love with her, desperately in love with her to the point that it consumed him. It wasn't healthy, not if there was no chance of them ever truly being together. Somehow waking to find her crying had stirred something in him, making him see through his feelings and see sense.

"I have to."

"No you don't."

"I have no choice."

"Yes you do," he almost cried at her. His eyes bore into hers as he fought to keep his composure. "Choose me."

Stephanie bit her lip to stop another onslaught of tears. He wanted her to make a choice. He wanted her to end her marriage. He wanted too much. She couldn't hurt Dominic like that, he didn't deserve it. Dominic had done nothing wrong. He wasn't a heartless bitch who toyed with people's emotions like this. He wasn't a coward who was too afraid to fight for what he truly wanted. He wasn't her. And he wasn't Paul either. Dominic was faultless, without trouble, without scandal. She could push this all under the rug and get on with her life, the life she had chosen three years ago when she chose to be his wife. Stephanie's watery blue eyes looked at the man before her and she knew, she just knew that this was it. It was written all over his face. When he walked out of this room she knew he wasn't coming back.

"Did this ever mean anything to you?" Paul frowned as she broke their gaze and looked away. Anger began to pump through his veins. She was a damn coward. "Did I ever mean anything to you?"

"Of course you did….do. I love you, Paul. Don't ever doubt how I feel about you," she said with conviction. He had to believe her. Despite her actions, she couldn't take it if he didn't believe how much she loved him. It was screwed up but she didn't know what else to do or say. The sarcastic remark she received in response sent a flash of pain through her chest.

"You got a funny way of showing it." He turned to leave once again but just couldn't walk away without telling her what she no doubt already knew. "You know something, I would have given you everything you ever wanted, Steph. I did the first time but we were both too afraid to fight for what we had. Now I'm the only one fighting."

Her hand covered her mouth as an insurmountable urge to cry consumed her entire body. This hurt more than any pain she had ever felt in her life. When she saw him wipe away his own tears she barely had enough to keep it together.

A siren from the streets below filtered through the room but he didn't hear it as he let himself take her in. This was the last time he would see her like this, in the early morning light, hair dishevelled, make-up slightly smudged and lips still that little bit swollen from his kiss. It was a part of her only two men got to see and it was when he found her most beautiful because in those moments she belonged to him. But it wasn't like that. She was never his. Now it was that other man who would get this part of her all to himself. Dominic had everything he ever wanted and Paul would hate him forever because of it. He was big enough to walk away from her but not big enough to let his bitterness and disdain towards her husband fade away. "I would have given you everything you ever wanted," he repeated one more time before turning on his heel and walking out the door.

As soon as she heard the soft click Stephanie let go, the heavy sobs shaking her body as she cried desperately, not daring to stop herself. "I know," she whispered to the darkness in response to his final words. She had just let the best thing that ever happened to her walk out of her life for the second time and this time she knew he wasn't coming back. It was over. It was all over.