*A bag of gummy bears later this is what
came to mind; I hope you like. Yes, it's
one shot FF... I'm going to try and keep it
that way.* (smiles) - TGE
Until Forever
The empty bourbon bottle lay shattered on the floor of his basement as he tried to hold back the tears that he swore meant nothing. With everything that he lived through and the numerous amount of tragedy that he had endured was nothing compared to the pain he felt tonight. It was as if his heart was ripped from his chest and was forced to watch it stop beating but the worst part was that he was still alive.
Taking a deep breath he shut his eyes to keep the tears that meant nothing from falling to the floor where the bourbon saturated the cement and the bottle lay shattered just like his broken heart. Opening his eyes he saw the destruction that he caused to his beloved basement and to his cell phone that also lay broken in the darkest corner of the room. He didn't want anyone to call him, ask if he was coming and even worse… ask him if he was okay, he wasn't.
He was far from being okay, he was dwelling in a place that he was unfamiliar with but he was sure of how he got here. Losing Shannon and Kelly felt something like this but this was different, this was a pain he could have prevented if only he gave into his feelings long ago. He was use to breaking rules and he had broken rules for her before but how could he break a rule that was never made?
There wasn't a rule that told him to never fall in love, to never give into his feelings and he was certain that he didn't have a rule to keep him from what his heart desired, so why didn't he just love her? Why the hell didn't he just tell her that he loved her all along and why did he tell himself that she deserved better than someone like him?
Another deep breath and few more 'should haves' later, he finally found the strength to walk over to the broom to clean up the mess he made in the basement and as for the mess he was living in… that was one thing he didn't know how fix. The sound of the shattered glass and his broken phone being swept up made this that much more real for him. Stopping he looked at down at what his feelings had cause him to do and in that moment he lost his self-control again as he turned around and shattered the broom on the table that was in the middle of the room. That's when he saw what had started this madness in the first place.
Dropping the handle of the broom on the floor he walked up to the table and looked down at the invitation that did nothing but piss him off even more. Seeing today's date printed on it he felt his love for her die just a little more and seeing the time on it he realized his chance of ever knowing love again had ended half and hour ago. This very moment as he fought with everything he could not change she had become someone's wife, someone's ever after and though he would always be her Gibbs, she was no longer his.
She had met the man who had ruin his life with her only weeks ago, she told him that he was perfect that he was into her kind of music and even got a tattoo of her name on his arm and when she told him he had proposed he said nothing. Nothing besides a whispered 'I'm happy for you' as she hugged him and he was sure that the moment he whispered those words that he didn't mean was when his sadness began.
She would never love him like that, never return the feelings he felt for her and she would never see anything in common with him, he tried to tell himself. He never even gave them a chance and never crossed the thin blurred line that was drawn between them.
The pain was excruciating to know that he had loved her all along but never told her how he felt. Secretly he hoped that her brilliant mind would decipher the true feelings he hid behind the way he looked at her, the way he held her and in how his kisses lingered on her cheek, but she never did.
"Get over it, gunny." He whispered as continued to look down at the invitation.
His mind blank, heart broken and love bleeding he stood in silence until the sound his front door opening, then slamming snapped him out of his thoughts.
The sound of the footsteps was familiar but tonight they sounded louder as if they were being intentionally stomped across his floor.
Taking a breath he looked up at the door way and saw a sight that he knew he was responsible for.
With mascara bleeding, hair a mess, black rose petals falling from the bouquet she held and the wrinkles that covered her simple white dressed told him that he had broken the heart of the woman he loved.
"You fucking, asshole." She seethed as she went straight up to him and shoved him.
He said nothing as he watched her drop the bouquet and wipe away the tears that were still streaming down her face.
"Do you know what today was?" Her voice cracked.
"I know." He replied softly.
"Really Gibbs, do you know? Because all my friends were there even my- our family… everyone was there but you!" She yelled.
He didn't reply.
Wiping her tears she shook her head. "You were the last person I expected that would do this to me." She cried.
"Abby… I"
"Don't you dare say that you're sorry, because sorry isn't going to fix this." She told him.
He remained silent.
"I asked you last week if you could walk me down the aisle, give me away and be at my wedding and you said okay. I showed up at the church and put on my mothers wedding dress and felt the butterflies in the pit of my stomach because I'm getting married and all I could think of was that when I saw you, that you would tell me everything would be fine and it would be but you weren't even there!" She sniffed back her tears.
Taking a step to her he reached for her.
"Don't" She warned as she stepped back from him. "You were the one that was supposed to give me away instead Tony had to… Gibbs you were the one I wanted to give me away-"
"I couldn't" He said quietly.
"Why not?" She demanded.
"Just can't." He whispered as he turned away from her.
"We've been through so much together, we're tighter than blood Gibbs and why couldn't you just give me away on the biggest day of my li-"
"I didn't want to!" He yelled as he turned to face her.
Taking back by his outburst she stood quietly watching him and finally seeing the tears that filled his eyes.
"I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to be apart of the biggest moment in your life but I couldn't… " Taking a breath he looked at her. "Abby, I just couldn't."
Tears pooling in her eyes she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Why not?"
"Because…" The tears that he swore meant nothing steamed down his face. "because I didn't want to give you away. I know you wanted me to but I couldn't be the one to give you away because I don't want to let you go." He admitted to her.
Sniffing back her tears she looked at him. "We've known each other for a very long time and we know everything that there is to know about each other that's why I wanted you to be the one to walk me down that aisle, Gibbs."
"I wanted to make you happy and do what you wanted me to but the thought of giving you to him is the one thing I knew I couldn't do because of how I feel… how I've always felt about you." He finally managed to tell her.
She wiped her tears.
"Abby, I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Don't you know that I waited for you?" Her voice cracked as her tears fell.
"I'm sorry." He repeated.
Walking up to him she reached out and cupped his face. "No, Gibbs… I waited for you." She told him again.
He said nothing as he tried to figure out what she was trying to tell him.
Wiping the tear that streamed down his face she felt her own tears fall. "I waited for you for so long that I knew I would be waiting for you, forever." She watched him realize what she was telling him. "I loved you Gibbs, since the first time I met you. I have never loved anyone like the way I have always loved you but I needed to know that you felt the same way about me. So, I waited for weeks, months and then years, that's when I knew I would be waiting forever for you to figure out what I already knew. Gibbs, I couldn't wait anymore."
He felt worse hearing her confession.
"Tony walked me down that aisle and did what you couldn't."
Those words were like the salt in his wounds.
"I was marrying someone else, someone who didn't know me like the way you knew me." She sniffed back her tears. "I was mad that you weren't there and I was so pissed that I told myself I was going to marry him anyway but then Tony said something to me. He told me that even though you weren't that you loved me anyway… that's when I knew. I finally knew what I have been waiting for all my life and that was that you loved me, that's why you weren't there." She wiped her tears with her free hand. "I looked at the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with and he wasn't you. I even wore the dress that I wanted to wear the day that I would marry... you." Her voice cracked.
He took a shallow breath. "I couldn't tell you how I felt because I thought-"
"That I deserved better?" She smiled through her tears. "Gibbs, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
"I should have told you but it's too late now." He replied.
"I said I couldn't wait forever for you but there's something about you that makes me want to wait just one more damn day that maybe today that you would finally love me like the way I have always loved you."
"What are you saying?" He whispered.
"Let's just say that he's going to regret getting my name tattooed on his arm." She smiled.
"Abby, what are you saying?" He asked her again.
"Do you see a ring on this finger?" She asked lifting her hand.
"You're… you didn't get married." He said softly.
Smiling she shook her head. "I said I was going to wait forever for you, gunny. Tell me… do I have to really wait that long?"
He didn't answer her; instead he pulled her into his arms and finally kissed her the way he always wanted to kiss her. The kind of kiss that declared her his from this moment on and the kind of kiss that any girl or gunny would wait forever for just to taste just once but they both knew this was the first kiss of many from here, until forever.
*PHOOF*
~*Thanks for reading.*~
"Aww... I hope you enjoyed this little story."
-The Gabby Effect-
