Yeah, but I still got a lot of things to fix

Promises I made to myself and yet I haven't fulfilled

My words wait for the right time to be spoken

Just things of mine, maybe you don't even want to hear

Lisa looked down, while caressing James' hair. She could stare at his face forever and never get tired of it, but the trip got her tired for sure. It was simply unfair to ask for a 3-year old kid to behave during long hours trapped in a bus, so it was expected that he grew cranky and then, plain tired, like her. But Lisa wasn't just tired, she was exhausted. Exhausted from the life she was leaving behind. To make things worse, she searched her bag frantically for her iPod, and couldn't find it. It was probably shoved down in one of the dozen luggage pieces they brought, Lisa packed in such a hurry that it wasn't a surprise. The lack of something to occupy her mind gave place to the strangest, wildest thoughts and questionings that she really shouldn't be considering. This was supposed to be a fresh start, not the time to look back. Through the foggy bus window, Lisa caught a glimpse of Boston landscapes, snowy, grayish, and everywhere she looked, there was the underlying promise of a new life, lurking in the corners. Boston wasn't that different from Detroit, but hopefully, life would end up being a lot different.

For the past few weeks, Lisa had been secretly arranging things with a friend of a friend, so that when she got to Boston, she'd at least have a place to stay. Of course, she did all that very carefully, if she faltered, her chance could be gone forever. Despite being assured that she had a furnished apartment waiting for her, Lisa felt her heart shrinking, thinking it was one hell of a risky move just packing up their bags and leaving for an unknown city, for an unknown future. Well, their future was pretty much certain if they stayed in Detroit, and that wasn't the future Lisa wanted for James. Having her son with her made it more difficult… if anything went wrong, he was under her responsibility.

When the bus finally reached the station, Lisa woke James up, got her bag, his toys and everything else, and jumped out. The worst part was yet to come: luggage. It's not like they had that many possessions, but that boy had an awful lot of toys, and Lisa wouldn't be crazy to leave a single one of them behind. She let James jump on a baggage cart, the bags kept coming until there was no place left for him, and he reluctantly got out. Lisa started pushing that heavy cart around the station, looking for a cell phone store, finally found one and got a prepaid cell. She would definitely need one. Out of the station, the cold wind seemed to freeze her brain cells for a moment, and she couldn't even consider picking James up, to protect him, while pushing that damn cart around. She found a cab, after all.

"Can someone help me with this?" Lisa asked, in between gasps. A driver came quickly to help her.

"Whoa, that's a lot of luggage."

"I know. We're moving in." she said, looking away.

"I can see that much."

By then, James was already in between Lisa's legs, torn between the urge of running around, and helping Lisa out with the bags, but all he really did was stand in her way, poor kid. She opened the door and out him inside the car, to which he frowned immediately.

"James, it's really cold and we don't want you to get sick, do we? Stay there, and I'll be right back."

Lisa closed the door carefully, helped the driver with all the bags, and got inside. When the driver started the car, she felt an overwhelming feeling of relief. It was like she could finally relax and let go of all the worries and anxieties. She'd been living with those feelings for a long time; it would be odd not to have them around anymore.

"Where to?"

"Uh… just a second, let me find that address", she said, searching through her bag, amidst fake IDs and birth certificates, to find that small piece of wrinkled paper that she'd been guarding with her life. She handed it to the driver; he looked at it and turned around.

"Are you sure this is the right address?"

That couldn't be good. Her heart skipped a beat, as she considered the possibility of having been given a bogus address. No, Milly wouldn't do that to her. She knew, better than anyone, what she was going through.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that… it's not a place where people usually go by choice. Most of the times people just wind up there, you know."

That was almost as bad as being lied to.

"Oh. Just… just go."

There was not much more left to say, there was no choice for Lisa at that point. James was once again napping on her lap, a soft tune came from the radio while they drove around Boston. It did look like a nice place for a fresh start, but as time passed, Lisa grew more and more concerned. When the driver pulled over… she didn't want to get out of the car, at least not with James. It looked like a dead-end, in every sense of the word. Decayed buildings, open dumpsters, shady people hanging out at the wrong corners. Lisa couldn't go back, she never would, and bad neighborhoods weren't news to her anyway.

"Hey, Sleepy! Honey, wake up, we're here." She said, shaking his shoulder as softly as she could.

James rubbed his eyes, with that sweetness that only children can have, and Lisa helped him out of the car.

"Would you carry my purse, please? I have to help the driver with those heavy bags of ours." Lisa asked him, trying to get James involved in that process that was so new and abrupt to him. She turned to the driver.

"Could you please…?"

"Sure" he nodded, a bit unsure, helping her up the stairs with all those bags. He didn't really want to stay long in that street.

"Here we go", Lisa said, under her breath, reaching underneath that cliché doormat that said 'Home Sweet Home'. It got Lisa wondering if those words were ever going to make any sense to her and James.

As they came inside, it really wasn't so bad. The furniture wasn't nearly as old as Lisa expected it to be. She took a few steps inside and James didn't follow her. He just stayed there at the doorway.

"Come on, sweetie. This is our house now."

James wouldn't move an inch, so Lisa went there to grab his hand and have him walk inside. They went through the living room, kitchen, bedroom, another bedroom, bathroom, and that was about it. For Lisa and James, though, it was more than enough. Most important, it was ready to live in. She took the time to kneel down and talk to her son. She needed him to be on board.

"So, did you like it, huh? Did you like our new house?"

The frown on his face was permanent now, and Lisa couldn't imagine how hard that was for him. Deep inside, though, she knew that he understood why they left. He'd been through what she'd been through for the past three years. Lisa held him tight, close to her chest.

"We're gonna be fine, honey. I'm gonna get your toys, and I need you to stay right here, playing, while I unpack, ok?"

Lisa spread all his toys in front of James, all of his miniature cars, and started unpacking. A few minutes later, the bell rang, and in an impulse, Lisa looked through the peephole. "What am I doing?", she thought, "I don't know anyone anyway", and opened the door to a friendly-faced woman.

"Elisabeth?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Alma."

A wave of relief washed over Lisa, and she sighed somewhat loudly. Alma was the person that got the apartment for her. She was a 30-something woman, a bit overweight, and despite her bright smile, her tough life had definitely left some marks on her face.

"Oh great! Please, come on in!"

Alma walked inside, and Lisa kept on.

"I cannot thank you enough for arranging all this. You have no idea what it means to me."

"Oh, it was nothing, really. Is this your son?" Alma said, kneeling down.

"Yeah, that's James. James, say hi to Alma, she's our friend now."

"Hi James! You're a cute little boy! How old are you? Can you tell me how old you are?"

Clumsily, he raised three fingers.

"You're that many? He's adorable" Alma said, raising up and turning to Lisa. "So, how was the trip? How's this place for you?"

Lisa scratched the back of her head, shaking her faded red strands. It was hard to keep track of my thoughts.

"Uh… it's good, so far. I mean, I still have to unpack all the clothes and stuff, but at least it's furnished so… we'll pull through."

Her eyes welled up, and one would think she had no more tears left to cry. Alma realized it and changed subjects.

"I got you a job, in case you want it."

"A job? How? Where?"

"At Ralph's… it's a supermarket, I used to work there. I know the manager, he called me a few days ago, asking if I knew someone that could work a cashier, no previous experience required… you can go there tomorrow morning and talk to him."

"Oh my, that's just… that's just great!"

"I can come by to look over James for you, and when you start working, there's the 'Teddy Bear Day Care', I know a girl who works there, and you can leave James with them. I know it's a lame name, but they're actually pretty good with kids."

"You seem to know a lot of people."

Alma grinned at that comment, and Lisa wasn't sure if that grin meant pride or resignation. Maybe a bit of both.

"Been living here all my life, dear… I know a whole lot of people around."

A shy smile came through Lisa's lips, and somehow Alma seemed to see through her.

"Don't worry, Lisa. Everything's gonna work out fine." Alma said, holding on to Lisa's hand. "I'm gonna let you finish unpacking. You and James are invited for dinner, around 7. I live right downstairs. 2B."

"That's… great. Thanks again."

"It's ok. Try and rest a little. Bye, James!"

"Bye", James said, nonchalantly, making his mother grin, in between a couple of stubborn tears that insisted on falling. Lisa leaned back on the door. Her heart felt much lighter. She felt truly blessed to be given a chance to start all over again. A sudden thought crossed her mind: she had to call someone.

"Milly?"

"Dottie? Oh, it's so good to hear your voice! So how was the trip? Where are you? How's James?"

"It was good, you know… tiring, but we made it. We're all settled now. Alma had everything arranged, she's such a kind person. The apartment is small, and the hood ain't great, but we're good. I think I'll even get a job, you know."

Milly let out a loud laugh…. Lisa knew how ridiculous that sounded.

"You won't! A job? Doing what?"

"As a cashier in a supermarket nearby."

"So you'll still be working with numbers…"

Lisa sighed.

"All right, sorry. I shouldn't have said that. But how are you gonna get this job? I mean… if they run your files, you're screwed."

"Well, since Lisa's the one getting the job, I think I'll be OK."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that. It's hard to deal with you as three different people, you know."

"Tell me about it. So… how's everything?"

"You're asking about…"

"Yeah."

"I haven't heard from him yet. You know he's gonna spend the next couple of weeks at Ann Arbor so… it will give you some time."

"I hope so. All right, dear, I gotta go now. Do not call me on this phone, got that? They might get through your phone records, I don't know. I'll call you whenever I can, ok?"

"Ok. Dottie, you take care, please."

"I will. Bye Milly."

Lisa hung up the phone, thinking about what Milly said, being three people at the same time. She had lived as one person until she got pregnant, then as another person, and now, in Boston, as yet another one. It wasn't easy to juggle three different names and personalities, but now she could finally ditch two of them, and be just one strong, put together person… and that person was named Elisabeth.

"Honey! Bath time!"

James mumbled something from the living room.

"Come on James, hurry up! We'll be late for dinner!"

Now it was Lisa's time to knock on Alma's door, and an older lady showed up.

"You must be Lisa! I'm Josephine, but you can call me Mama Jo. Is this your boy?"

"Yeah, this is James. James, say hi to Mama Jo!" Her name sounded so cool, and it gave Lisa a much needed sense of intimacy and closeness.

"Come in, come in."

Their house was pretty tidy, but Lisa could see that there was definitely a male presence in the house, trying to insert a little chaos here and there.

"Hey Lisa! Hope you guys like chicken wings."

James widened his eyes and smiled a little.

"We like chicken wings, don't worry. Uh… only the two of you live here?"

"No, I have another son,", Mama Jo answered. "Bodie. He's hardly ever home though. Kind of a troubled kid."

"I can relate to that. Well, Alma, do you need any help in there?"

"No, no, I'm all set. Let's eat!"

"Oh, this looks great", Lisa exclaimed, sitting down and noticing that they were still standing, which prompted her to stand back up, slightly ashamed. Mama Jo started to say a prayer.

"We thank you, Lord, for the love that binds us, and for the food that nourishes us. Amen."

"Amen", Lisa said, under her breath. Now she could sit down.

"So Lisa, Alma tells me you're new in town. Where are you from?"

"Detroit."

"And what brought you to Stokely Hall?"

Lisa cleared her throat, looked at Alma, searching for an excuse.

"Uh… Detroit is such a violent city and… I wanted a better place to raise James, you know."

Mama Jo laughed.

"I don't know if you made yourself a good deal moving to Boston."

"Well, one can only hope so."

"Anyway, Alma and I, we're here to help you. I'm at my sister's home a lot, because she's been sick and needs my help, but you can count on us, dear."

"That's very kind of you. We really appreciate it."

"What about you, little James?"

He was quiet. Lisa intervened.

"It's been a tough time for him, you know, moving and all. I guess he'll speak more when he gets more comfortable with all this."

They finished their meal, chatted a little more, and Alma went upstairs with Lisa and James.

"Lisa, I'm sorry about my mother asking all those questions… she's way too nosy sometimes."

"Don't worry, Alma. I know she was just trying to be nice. And thanks again for dinner."

"No problem. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"All right. See ya." Lisa said, walking in.

She was tucking James in, sitting by his bed, caressing his golden brown hair, her mind wondering about everything and nothing at the same time, when James decided to talk for the first time in Boston.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey."

"Why is everybody calling you 'Lisa'?"

Lisa sighed. Things had been so rushed and sudden, that she didn't even think about explaining this little detail to him.

"Because… that's my middle name, and now that we moved, I thought it would be good to use a new name as well."

"Your middle name is Mae."

"Damn it", she thought. James didn't talk much, but he was as smart as a boy could be.

"Well, honey, that's not the point. From now on, everybody will call me Lisa or Elisabeth. You just call me 'mom' and we'll be fine."

"Can I change my name too?"

She looked at him, affectionately. Lisa had been in love with him from the moment she knew he was growing inside her, and she'd do everything in her power to make him happy. That was why she was in Boston, in the first place. And little did he know that she did change his name – at least, his last name.

"But James is such a beautiful name, son. What name do you want?"

"I don't know. Maybe Stitch."

Lisa smirked.

"Kiddo, Stitch is an alien. A bad, bad alien."

"He's not bad, mom. He just needs a family, and then he's good."

"I know. But Stitch is off the table. Think about it. Let's see if you can convince me tomorrow, ok?" she said, standing up and kissing his forehead. "Good night, honey."

"Good night, mom." He said, curling up in his blankets.

Lisa walked to her room and sat on the bed. The street lights were coming in, faintly, through the window, and that was when she started to think about all that had happened in those last 24 hours. What she had planned for months was really taking shape, and that thought was enough to freak her out for a second. She held her head in her hands, sighing. "You've been through so much worse, you're gonna make this work… this is redemption, right here, right now."

She lied down, it would take a few nights to get used to that mattress. Still, tiredness won over her, and she managed to rest for a while.