It was Friday, so, obviously, there was a Friday Night Dinner. But it was eerily quiet. Solemn. Blaine and Kurt both ate with one hand, their others twined together under the table. Burt frequently coughed, warding off the knot that tried to settle at the back of his throat and squeeze tears up to his eyes. Carole dabbed at hers constantly. Finn ate as quietly as he could; he tried not to make any eating noise that might crudely interrupt the silence. Finally, Kurt let out a long sigh.

"This is gonna be my last Friday Night Dinner here for a while. Could we just… make it a happy one?"

How? Blaine asked bitterly in his head. How can I be happy when I know that I'll be alone for a whole year?

"Y-yeah," Burt said, his voice raspy. "Yeah. W-we should, uh, we should…"

Finn grinned. "We should go around and say our most embarrassing Kurt moment!"

"Yeah, good idea," Kurt said feaux-sarcastically.

Burt began, "I have about eight of them, and they all involve walking in o-"

"OKAY!" Kurt clapped his hands, he and Blaine both blushing profusely. "Carole, what about you?"

Carole smiled as memories washed over her for a momentarily. "Probably the time when you told me I'd been misusing the word 'argyle' for years."

Kurt snorted. "Finn?"

"Well, a lot of mine are the same as Burt's…"

"BLAINE. What about you?"

"I don't really feel like-"

Kurt squeezed his boyfriend's hand. "Please, dear? Everyone else did one."

"I just don't-"

"It'll help you feel better-"

"No, it won't. You don't get it. I can't just feel better." He was standing now, his grip on Kurt's hand broken. "How can I feel better when I know that, this time tomorrow, I'll-" I'll be alone "-you'll be g-gone."

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt cooed, standing and holding out his arms. Blaine crumpled into them as tears squeezed out of his eyes. Burt glanced at Carole, and the two of them edged quietly out of the room. After taking a second to realize why, Finn followed. Blaine was clutching Kurt's back like he was a lifeline- and maybe he was. Kurt's voice was thick as he comforted his boyfriend. "Blaine, honey, it's okay. I'll talk to you every night, I promise. And you'll come visit. And then next year you'll graduate and we'll be together again. It's only a year."

"But-"

Kurt tipped his boyfriend's face up gently. "Blaine, look at me. We'll be fine. You know why?"

Blaine sniffed and shook his head.

"Because we love each other."

Blaine hugged him tightly, then pulled away, sniffling. "That's why I'll miss you so much."

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt gripped his hands and placed a light kiss on his mouth. "Remember when we met and you told me to have courage? That's what I'm saying to you now. Courage."

The boy stared down at their clasped hands. "Yeah. C-courage."

They embraced once more, then Blaine murmured, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Blaine."

-o0o-

Blaine stayed over that night. Usually, Burt would have had reservations, but there were extenuating circumstances. It was obvious that they needed each other there that night. They faced each other, lying on their sides. Kurt drifted off quickly, but Blaine stayed awake all night, trying to commit everything to memory.

This is the last time we'll be right here, just us, doing this. This is the last time things will be the way they are.

In reality, though, things were already different. They were different because Blaine had never held this tightly to Kurt before, never struggled so hard to keep awake, never felt these building senses of fear and dread. It was already so different, but that didn't keep Blaine from wanting time to stop so that he could live in that moment where Kurt was right next to him and they were together and they loved each other.

-o0o-

"Blaine, I am shaking. Shaking."

"Relax, Kurt, it's okay."

"What if they didn't like me? Oh, God, I knew I should have done 'Defying Gravity' instead! And I totally messed up on that one part- did you hear that, because I- arrgh!"

Blaine took Kurt's hand "You did amazing, Kurt. You always do. They'd be idiots to not accept you."

Burt came in just then, carrying a thick envelope.

"OHMYGODTHAT'SITHTAT'SFROMNYADAOHMYGODIT'SHERE!"

Blaine squeezed his boyfriend's trembling hand. Burt held out the envelope, but Kurt shook his head. "You do it, Blaine, I can't- I just can't."

The boy took the envelope and tore it open. "Dear Mr. Hummel: We… we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts!"

"No!" Kurt snatched the letter away and read it over several times as the words struggled to compute in his brain. "I got in… I got in!" He pounced on Blaine, nearly toppling them both over. Blaine hugged him back.

"See? I told you," Blaine said before letting Burt over to celebrate with his son. He could feel his eyes welling up, and he told himself they were merely tears of joy. After Kurt and his father had their moment, the boy pulled Blaine over for another hug. "I'm so proud, Kurt. I knew you could do it."

But his words were flatter than he'd have liked them to be, and something unpleasant was clutching at him inside his chest. So that's it, then. He's really leaving.

He'd been in denial. As much as he'd tried to tell himself that this was happening- because he'd known that Kurt would get in; like he'd said before, they'd be stupid not to accept one as amazingly talented as Kurt Hummel- there was still that little what if that lingered in the open air. But he was definitely going now, off to new and exciting places just out of Blaine's reach.

He felt terrible about how he was responding, but there was no denying that it was terribly bittersweet. All the sadness, the loneliness, the fear- the realness of it came crashing down on him now, where it had been previously kept at bay by the tiny what if. He tried to be cheerful as they celebrated, but at the back of his mind, worries mounted up. He's really leaving. And I'll be alone.

-o0o-

By the time they'd gotten all of his things into the car, Kurt was becoming tired. Yes, he was saying goodbye, but he was going to New York, for Christ's sake. He was getting out of Lima. He was starting an adventure. But the atmosphere was so sad and solemn, he couldn't tactfully express his excitement. So it built up inside him, dancing an intricate tango on his nerves- which were already frayed because, let's face it, he was terrified of being in New York on his own- until a sniffle from Blaine gave him cause to explode.

"God, Blaine can't we just be happy for me for once? It's not like I'm dying. Get a grip!"

Shocked silence took over the car as Blaine's eyes, huge and unfairly puppyish, gazed wounded-ly at him. "Well, I'm sorry I-"

"No, honey, I didn't mean it like-"

"But it's true, I am-"

"No, I understand. This is really hard for you, I know."

"But it's your day, Kurt. I need to support you in this."

"Yeah, but-"

"No, really, you're right. Here-" Blaine scooted closer to Kurt and wrapped an arm around him. "Now… Tell me about what you can't wait to do in New York."

Kurt kissed Blaine, a long kiss that lingered for a while. "I can't wait for you to visit." They rode the rest of the way sitting close, planning what they'd do on Blaine's visits and wondering about Kurt's roommate and remembering their time together. It didn't ward off either of their fears, but, for a while, at least, they were less pervasive.

-o0o-

Blaine held back as Carole, then Burt gave Kurt a parting embrace. Then it was his turn. They held each other tightly, as if they could imprint the feeling of the other in their arms for forever. Blaine kissed on the mouth, a long but light kiss that sent his lips tingling. This might be the last time I'll feel like this.

"I promise I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Mhmm."

"I promise my plane won't crash into the ocean or be hijacked or anything."

"I know."

"I promise I'll put a giant poster of you in my bedroom so I can look at you every day. And when people come into my room people will ask, 'Kurt, who is that insanely attractive guy on your wall?' And I will reply, 'That is my boyfriend.' And they'll be like, 'Damn, Kurt! You have the loveliest boyfriend!' And I'll be able to flaunt it in their faces."

That coaxed a laugh from Blaine. "I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too, Blaine."

They kissed again, longer, and Blaine wished he could freeze everything right there. But Kurt pulled away, muttering, "I'll miss my plane," and Blaine nodded, and Kurt grabbed his carry-on and disappeared down the hallway. Burt wrapped an arm around Blaine, and the boy stared down at his feet and at the teardrops that he hadn't known existed- the ones that were falling on his shoes.

He's really gone now. No turning back.

-o0o-

He picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, Blaine!"

"Kurt!"

"Hi!"

"Hi! How is everything?"

"Well, I didn't die, obviously. I'm taking a break from unpacking right now. Remind me again why I own so much crap."

"You tell me, dear."

The sound of Kurt's laugh tinkling on the other end put some uneasy thing in Blaine's chest to rest.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

And he did. But he felt much more relaxed, now. Kurt was there, safe in New York, getting settled, and nothing bad had happened yet. He hadn't spontaneously combusted. The world was intact. They were both totally fine, and they both still loved each other. Maybe he could make it through this year, after all.

"Oh, hey, my room mate's coming in! One sec- Hey, Jared! This is that boyfriend I was talking about. Wanna say hi? –I told him about you already. Here you go…"

"Hi," said a deep voice on the other end. "I'm Jared. I guess your Kurt and I will be rooming together."

"Yeah. Take good care of him, please. I want him back in one piece."

"I will."

After a sufficiently awkward silence, Jared said, "Well, nice talking to you. I'm sure I'll be hearing a lot about you this year."

"Yeah… Yeah, nice talking to you…"

"Okay, I'll give you back to Kurt now."

"Excellent, yeah, good… Thanks… Bye!"

"Bye, Blaine."

And then- "Hey, honey!"

"Hey, Kurt. So how're you settling in?"

"Pretty good. I have loads more unpacking to do, but I'll survive."

"Good," he said. If Kurt was here, Blaine would have kissed him on the cheek and wrapped an arm around his waist. He winced. "I really miss you."

"I know. But we're talking right now and we'll Skype tomorrow and before you know it, I'll be back for break!"

"Yeah… Yeah…"

"Courage."

"Courage."

They stayed together on the phone for a while, then Kurt sighed. "I really should start unpacking. I have a lot of work to do…"

"Oh, yeah. Okay. I guess I'll talk to you later, then."

"Yeah, you will."

"Okay. I love you!"

"I love you, too!"

They hung up at the same time.

That wasn't so bad. I could still hear him… And tomorrow I'll be able to see him. We'll be fine. I know it.

-o0o-

He didn't sleep well that night. He was undeniably exhausted, but he worried about Kurt, all alone except for some random Jared guy. He wished he was there in New York, keeping company on his first night alone. Tossing once again, he groaned.

This is a stupid, cheesy, corny idea. I've been watching too many rom coms or something.

Blaine hauled himself up and searched until he found what he was searching for: one of Kurt's T-shirts. He must have left it at Blaine's house one night. Blaine sniffed it, and a slight whimper escaped him. It would be ages before he would smell this undeniably-Kurt smell anything other than secondhand. The thought sent a pang through his chest.

"I miss you," he whispered into the fabric.

He liked to think that, somehow, Kurt could hear him, and was whispering something back to him now:

"I miss you, too."