Valerie propped herself up on her pillows and watched Libby dressing, slowly covering the naked body she knew so intimately with layers of clothing.
'Where are you going?' she asked, trying unsuccessfully to sound nonchalant.
'Cheerleading practice,' Libby responded without looking round as she pulled up her skirt.
'Oh,' Valerie said, sinking back beneath the covers. 'I thought you said you'd stay.'
'Well I didn't.' Pulling on her sweater. 'You know I have practice now.'
'Can I come with you?' Valerie asked, this time not trying to hide the hope in her voice.
'Oh sure, that will go great,' Libby responded, the sarcasm heavy in her voice. 'Hey girls, I just thought I'd bring along a...' She paused.
'A freak!' spat Valerie, surprising even herself with the venom in her voice.
'Wha?' Libby mumbled, finally turning to look at Valerie and recoiling at the cold look on her lover's face.
'That's what you were going to say, right?'
'No,' Libby replied, although it didn't sound like she believed herself anymore than Valerie did.
'What were you going to say then? Geek? Nerd? Loser? Valerie the date-less wonder?' Valerie clambered out of bed as she spoke, not a thought to her nakedness.
'Wha?'
'Well that's what you and your friends call me, isn't it?' Valerie continued, not bothering waiting for a reply as a year's worth of pain and humiliation came pouring out at once. 'You all laugh at me and insult me and exclude me!' She paused and the anger gave way to sorrow as tears appeared in her brown eyes. 'Do you even like me?'
Libby's reply was a long time coming, and when it arrived it was barely a murmur.
'What?'
Another mumbled response, no more confident, no more audible.
'What?' Valerie begged, needing to hear the answer more than she wanted it.
'I said, yes... I like you,' said Libby, finally finding her voice. Still, she kept her face turned away as if determined not to meet Valerie's eyes. 'I like you a lot.' She paused. 'Happy now?'
Valerie dropped heavily onto the disarranged bed, her chin falling to her chest, her shoulders slumped. 'No, I'm not happy.' There followed an awkward silence in which the only sound was the wet intakes of breath as both girls readied herself to speak before losing their nerve.
Surprisingly it was Valerie who found her confidence first, though her words were barely more than a whisper. 'If you like me, why are you so mean to me?'
Finally Libby turned to her, and Valerie was shocked to notice that the cheerleader's eyes were also wet with tears. Then, in a voice that begged to be understood, Libby said two words that suddenly made all the name calling, all the mockery, all the bitchiness make sense. 'They'll know.'
Then Libby was sitting by her on the bed, so close that their bodies were touching from their shoulders to their feet. Libby took Valerie's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and for a while the two girls, one clothed, the other naked, sat together in silence.
After much hesitation Valerie spoke, but the words struggled to make it past her lips and her eyes stared straight ahead. 'Would it be so awful if they did know?'
Suddenly Libby's hand was gone from her grasp and the cheerleader was on her feet. 'Sure, that would be no problem. You want to go steady, go and get a soda together, have me wear your letterman jacket? We can go to prom! Maybe we'll get elected king and queen.' Her tone became mocking. 'Hey girls don't forget to vote for the lez and the loser!'
'Man, you can be such a bitch.' Valerie spat, anger mixing with her misery.
'Oh, little Miss Perfect?' Libby's comeback was clearly well rehearsed. 'and I suppose you've told your bee-eff-eff Sabrina all about us?'
'No' admitted Valerie, who truthfully had never found the words to tell her best friend that she was seeing her nemesis.
'That's what I thought,' said Libby. She was pulling on her coat and bag now, heading for the door. Valerie longed for the words to stop her, but thankfully they weren't needed as just before her hand touched the handle Libby hesitated. 'Look, I'll try not to be such a bitch.'
The words wouldn't fix the problems they had, they weren't a promise of a better future, they wouldn't make up for everything that had come before them... but they were a start.
'Thank you,' was all Valerie could say.
'I'll call you after practice, okay?' And without waiting for a reply Libby was gone. Valerie listened until she heard the noise of the front door, then laid back on the bed that still smelt of the cheerleader's perfume and sweat and let the tears run silently down her face.
