Teaspoon leaned back in his office chair, propped his feet on his desk and pulled his hat over his eyes. He heard the footsteps enter the office. He could tell the man was trying not to make noise, but Teaspoon's hearing was still sharp as a tack. After the visitor sat down, another pair of boots came into the room.
"You boys know ya can't sneak up on me." Teaspoon moved his hat back on his head.
"Little early for your nap, isn't it?" Kid asked with a laugh.
"You boys need something?" Teaspoon asked a little irritated.
Buck smiled at the older man before him. "We needed to get some supplies for the ranch. Thought we'd check in on you."
"Well, I'm still alive," Teaspoon smiled. "How are the families?" Like he really needed to ask. He just saw them the night before at a full family supper.
All of a sudden, the paperboy, Tommy, burst into the office. "Marshal, Matthew asked me to give this to you before the copy goes out." Tommy handed Teaspoon the folded up paper. Teaspoon thanked the boy and gave him a nickel.
Teaspoon opened the paper and sighed, "Merciful God." Buck and Kid looked at each other and jumped up to see what he was looking at. The headlines jumped out at them: WILD BILL HICKOK SHOT IN THE BACK IN DEADWOOD.
They stood in stunned silence for a few seconds. "Are you sure?" Kid whispered.
"I don't know. I'm going to go talk to Matthew. You boys go round up the family." Teaspoon stood up and walked out the door without waiting for an answer.
Kid and Buck headed over to the general store where Lou worked with Tompkins, the owner. "I'll grab Lou; you tell Tompkins what's going on. I don't want to say anything to Lou until we get her home." Kid gave the instructions as they crossed the street. Buck just nodded; he agreed it was best to wait. There was no telling how Lou would react to the news, so they wanted to make sure she was home with the support she'd need.
Lou looked from the inventory she was taking when the bell above the door sounded. "Hey, Kid." Lou looked at her husband. She could tell something was wrong even though he tried to hide it. "What's wrong? One of the kids? Teaspoon? Rachel?" The words came out so fast Kid could barely make them out.
Kid placed his hands on her shoulders. "No, they're all fine. We just need to go home." He turned her to the door as Buck and Tompkins headed to the back room.
Lou stopped, shrugged Kid's hands off her and glared at him. "If they are fine, why do we need to go home?" Lou searched his face. She could tell that he was in pain and didn't know how to share it with her. "Okay, fine. We'll go home. Let me tell Tompkins." She turned back to the store.
Kid stopped her again, and moved her out the door. The sooner he got her home the better. "Buck is talking to him. I'm sure we'll see Tompkins tonight at supper."
Kid half dragged Lou to the livery station where their wagon was parked. "Kid, where's the fire? Could you at least slow down? At least a little?" She was running to keep up with her husband. It usually didn't bother her, but today it did
Kid slowed down a little to please his wife. By doing so, she caught people staring at them and Lou could hear the whispers.
"Didn't they ride with him?" "Was it really him who died?" "Wasn't he the one who gave her away at their wedding?"
Lou stopped dead in her tracks, pulling Kid to a stop with her. "Kid, what are they talking about?" Kid looked into his wife's brown eyes. His deep blue ones were filled with a sorrow-filled look. Lou's voice grew sterner. "What happened, Kid?"
Kid looked above Lou's head. He took a deep breath and looked back at his wife. "The paper's headline stated that Jimmy was shot down in Deadwood, Dakota Territory." As he stated the sad news, he watched his wife do something she had never done before. For the first time in her life, Lou McCloud Hunter passed out. Kid caught Lou before she hit the boardwalk.
Lou felt like she was in a fog. She could feel something cool on her face and someone calling her name, but she wasn't ready to come out of the fog. After a few seconds of fighting the fog, she finally slowly blinked her eyes open. Things were fuzzy at first, but slowly Kid and Rachel's faces came into few. She shot up fast, but a wave of dizziness came over her.
"Whoa, easier there." Rachel pushed her back down on the pillows.
"I had the strangest dream," Lou said quietly. "I had a dream that Jimmy was dead." Lou caught the looks between Rachel and Kid. "No, no. NO! It can't be true!" She screamed, trying to jump out of the bed.
Kid pushed her back down. "Louise, listen to me, honey. Teaspoon had it confirmed. He was shot in the back by a man named Jack McCall."
Lou let out a muffled cry and started to sob. Kid held the woman he loved more than anything in the world. He wished he could ease her sorrow, but he couldn't. He just simply held her and rocked her. Lou pulled away when she started hiccuping. Rachel handed Lou a glass of water. Without giving it a second thought, Lou gulped down the glass in one long swallow.
Lou coughed and looked at the older woman. "Where did you get that awful water?"
Rachel gave a slight smile. "I put a little laudanum in it. You are going to need some sleep tonight, young lady."
Lou glared at Rachel. "That was a dirty trick." She tried giving her voice a hard tone to it. But inside she was grateful for the extra help. Turning back to her husband, Lou buried her head into Kid's chest again.
Rachel backed out of the room, leaving the couple to grieve on their own. Out of all the riders, Jimmy, Lou and Kid were the closest. Buck had grown closer to Kid and Lou over the years, but it wasn't anything like the relationship they had with Jimmy.
An hour later Kid joined his family in the kitchen. His daughter, Emma, walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Kid pulled her into a tight embrace. "Mama okay, daddy?" She asked against his chest.
"Not right now, but she will be. She was close to your Uncle Jimmy." Kid replied. Rachel walked up with a cup of coffee for Kid and he nodded his thanks. "Where's Little Jimmy?" He asked looking around, inquiring about Emma's twin brother.
"He's doing chores. He won't show it, but he's hurting." Rachel said. Kid nodded in understanding. His son was too much like his father and Uncle Jimmy, his namesake.
"I think this is going to take a couple of days for it all to sink in." Teaspoon said breaking the silence. The others nodded. "Tompkins is going to let Lou have as many days as she needs off. He sends his condolences, and may be out tomorrow. He didn't think it be best to come out tonight."
"Thanks, Teaspoon." Kid kissed the top of his daughter's head. "I'm gonna look in on Little Jimmy then go back to bed with Lou." Putting the coffee mug down, Kid walked out the back door and headed to the barn.
"You in here, son?" Kid called as he entered into the barn. He heard a sound come from the loft. He climbed up the ladder and saw his son huddled in the corner. "You okay?" He asked as he walked closer to the boy.
Jimmy wiped the tears away from his eyes, and turned to his dad. Kid looked at his fourteen-year-old son. The boy was growing up too fast. "Son, its okay to grieve for those you love and lost." Kid pulled the boy into his arms and let him cry.
Little Jimmy pulled away and wiped his eyes once more. "We're going to be okay, son. We all will be okay." Kid whispered to him.
"Pa, I have a favor to ask of you," Jimmy was a little hesitant at first, then went on. "Can I just go by Jimmy, now? I liked Little Jimmy when I was younger, but now...it just seems right to be called Jimmy."
Kid smiled at his son. "I think your uncle would like that very much."
Lou pulled out of a deep sleep and her husband's warm embrace. It was an hour before dawn and she was grateful that her family were heavy sleepers. She just wanted to get out of the house before anyone caught her. She donned her pants and one of Kid's old shirts. She was glad she kept them around over the years. It was easier wearing pants when training and riding horses.
On the way out of the house, Lou grabbed the four pistols hanging by the door, one for each person in the family, two riffles and extra ammo. That would keep her busy for awhile. She made quick time of saddling her horse.
When Jimmy left for the army, he left his trusty horse, Sunny, with the other riders. She was a great broodmare and produced a long line of good foals. Three years ago Sunny had a stud colt that was an exact replica of herself. Lou talked with Jimmy, and both agreed to keep him a stud and use him as a replacement for one of their current studs. Sunny was now living the good life, putting the weanlings in their place as they came off their moms. The stud colt allowed only Lou to train him. She had a way with the colt, like she had a way with Jimmy.
Lou led the colt out of the barn, jumped on his back and rode like hell westward. Twenty minutes later she reached her destination. It didn't take long and she had targets set up and ready to be shot at.
Taking aim, she shot her first target. "Damn you, Jimmy." She fired again. "Damn you, Jimmy." She continued this as she unloaded her first gun. She switched over to the next gun. With each word, she fired a shot, "You," bang "weren't" bang "suppose to leave" bang, bang, bang. "Damn it," bang.
Buck, Jane, and their daughters, Shannon and Melanie, walked into the quiet house. The family, minus Lou, were sitting around the kitchen table with coffee cups in front of each of them. All eyes were red from crying and dark circles under them from lack of sleep. Seems like everyone had about the same type of night. Sleepless and sad.
Shannon walked up to Emma and gave her a hug. Shannon was only eight months younger than the twins. Emma and Shannon were closer than friends, they were sisters. Melanie was younger at the age of ten, but didn't want to be left out, so she went up to Little Jimmy and hugged him. Jimmy felt comfort in the hug, as he always had a softer spot in his heart for his younger cousin.
"Lou still in bed?" Buck asked as he made his way to the stove where the coffee was hot.
"No, she went out this morning," Kid answered.
"Jimmy's spot?" Buck asked with a knowing look.
"I think so," Kid answered.
Emma looked between the two men. "What's Jimmy's spot?" She asked.
"It's where he went to think when he needed to clear his mind, be alone for a while." Teaspoon answered. "With about ten people living basically under one roof at one point or another, tempers would fly. Sometimes one of the boys just had to get away from time to time. I think it helped keep everyone's sanity at times."
"Did dad and mom have one?" Jimmy asked looking over to the older man.
"Yup, theirs was actually the same spot," Teaspoon answered with a smile.
"How come we didn't know about it?" Emma asked as she refilled her coffee mug.
Kid smiled as he looked at his kids. "We still like to get away from you two. Helps keep our sanity"
Buck was glad to see that the family could smile through their pain. They didn't want to talk about what happened, but he knew they would. They were a family and they would get through it. "You gonna check on her?" Buck asked Kid after a few minutes.
"Yeah, I figured she'd run out of ammo in an hour. I'll head out there soon. Want to ride with me?"
"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea." Buck replied.
Lou heard the horses approach. She didn't have to look up to know it was her husband and brother. When they arrived, the men dismounted and sat next to Lou, one on each side. They sat looking at the clear lake.
"Is he really gone?" Lou whispered.
"Yeah, Lou, he is." Kid answered.
"I can't believe it. There's no way. He was just here a month ago. He promised to come home for Christmas and stay this time." Lou knew she was rambling, but she couldn't help it.
"I know, sweetheart." Kid didn't know how to respond to his wife. Jimmy and Lou had a special relationship. Kid had Lou's life and heart, but Jimmy had a small part of it too.
"I was thinking of the first time we met." Lou stared across the lake, not looking at it, looking into a different time. "We stood there all lined up. Jimmy was cocky to Teaspoon about his gun." Lou smiled at the memory.
She still remembered Teaspoon and Jimmy's conversation.
"Wearing that gun mighty low, aren't you son?" Teaspoon asked. "Feels right to me." "What's your name?" "Jimmy" "Yer full name." "Hickok...James...Butler...Hickok."
They were all young and looking for adventure. Over the short year and a half they had became a family. Their family had changed over the years, losing some, gaining others, but they were still a family.
"We all miss him, Lou." Kid said. "I know this is harder on you than any of us."
Lou shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know how to grieve for the man that she loved. He was her brother, and she wanted him back. Leaning on Kid's shoulder, she broke down and cried again.
When Lou sat back and wiped her eyes.
Lou sat on the front porch swing and stared down the road. This was her nightly ritual, after supper she would sit out here alone and watch the road. It had been just over a month since they had received the news of Jimmy's death. Lou shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her small frame. The Nebraska plains were colder this September than they had been in the past. Or maybe it was just the coldness inside.
The papers said he was shot in the back by Jack McCall in Deadwood. There was no way he was dead. She would not accept that he brother had been shot down. She had grieved, but she could not accept the fact that he was not coming back. She heard the door to the house open. Kid sat down next to her and handed her a cup of coffee.
"You okay?" Kid asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"Yeah," Lou said resting her head on his shoulder. "I just miss him. Can it be true?" Lou sniffed. Another nightly ritual they had. Lou knew she had to quit asking the question, but she couldn't bring herself not to ask it.
Kid sighed and looked out over the plains. "I know what you mean." At the time he wasn't sure what to take of the news either. He and Jimmy had their differences, but he loved him. They were brothers in every sense of the word but blood. After all the fights, arguments and good times, it all came down to one word, love. Kid and Jimmy had never said the word, but they knew it.
Kid had given his wife the comfort and support she needed the last month. He knew everyone grieves differently, but this was too much. She took care of her family, and worked hard at the store and the ranch. But she wasn't the same Lou. He knew Lou would be okay, but she had to accept that he was dead and not coming back.
"Rider comin'," Kid said when we saw a cloud of dust coming their way. Lou jumped forward and then sat back when she saw it was Buck. "Hey, Buck. Can I get you a cup of coffee?" Kid asked when Buck came to a stop.
"No, thanks. I just wanted to drop this off. It came to the office this morning." Buck handed Lou the package he had in his hand. "It's postmarked Deadwood."
Lou jumped up and grabbed the package from Buck. She had so many questions. What was it? Who sent it?
"Lou, honey, you gonna open it?" Kid asked. Lou looked up and saw the two men staring at her.
"I'm kinda afraid," she whispered. The men gave her an encouraging nod. Lou's hands shook and she slowly ripped into the package. There was a box, and she slowly opened the lid. She gasped at what she saw. Nestled in the box was a set of twin Colts. She picked one up and slowly turned it over and over again in her hand.
There was a letter at the bottom of the box. Kid picked it up and read it aloud.
Dearest Lou,
If you are reading this, it means I have met my end. I have asked that these go to you and Kid. Both of you were my best friends. I know we have had our good and bad times. When I lie awake trying to sleep, I think of you, Kid and the rest of my Express family. All of you were the one stable part of my life. I may never have said it, but I love the both of you very much. Please rememberwho I was, not who I had become.
Love always, your brother.
Jimmy
Lou let the tears flow as Kid read the letter. "I think I need to be alone." Lou didn't wait for an answer, stood up and walked to the barn.
"Buck and I have been talking-" Kid started. They were sitting at the table after breakfast. It was the morning after Lou and Kid had received the matched Colts.
"When do we leave?" Lou asked. She knew what Kid was going to say. They were going to head to Deadwood. It was the only thing to do, make sure Jimmy wasn't coming back.
"First thing in the morning," Kid said. Lou nodded and went upstairs to start packing.
Teaspoon stood on the porch of Kid and Lou's house, leaning against the pillar holding up the porch roof. He watched as Kid, Lou and Buck led their horses out of the barn. It was a familiar sight to him. He was use to seeing his boys and Lou take off tackling one problem after another.
"I sent Cody a telegram," Teaspoon said. "He'll meet you in Deadwood in a few days. He should be there before you, so he'll have rooms ready for you."
"Thanks, Teaspoon. Sure ya don't want to come with us?" Kid asked. "You're just as much family. You and Rachel."
Teaspoon shook his head. "No, I'm getting too old for those trips. Rachel and I will take care of the families while yer all gone."
"Thanks again, Teaspoon." Lou said as she mounted onto the stud colt.
"Don't worry about it." Teaspoon descended the stairs and walked to the boys and Lou. "Just ride safe, and take care of yourselves." He patted Lou's knee and sent them off with a smile.
A few days later the three riders rode into the small town of Deadwood. It was a booming mine town, with buildings everywhere. The streets were muddy from the recent rain. They rode past saloons and supply stores, some were wood buildings, some were just tents.
Stopping in front of the Golden Nugget they dismounted. Not long after they were greeted by a loud shout. "'Bout time ya got here!" Cody shouted as he came down the steps of the hotel.
There were whispers as the group hugged each other. "It's that Buffalo Bill Cody?"
"Come on, I've got rooms upstairs for us." Cody led the group inside away from the prying eyes. Cody got them settled into the suite of rooms he had for them. There were three bedrooms off of a large sitting room. It was the best set of rooms in the whole town. Being famous had its perks.
"I talked with the hotel clerk." Cody started when all the riders were sitting around the table and coffee in front of them. "He's buried up on top of the hill just to the west of town. I figure if we go out right after sunrise, we can beat the crowd. The clerk said that there are a lot of people go up there to see the grave."
"Why can't they let him rest in peace?" Buck asked.
"The people don't know him as the Jimmy we did." Kid answered. "They don't know the quiet man we knew so well."
"'S'cuse me." Lou got up and walked to her room with tears in her eyes.
The men watched her leave. "She okay?" Cody asked.
"She will be," Kid answered. "I think this trip is what she needs. What we all need."
The group was up before the sun and on the road up the hill as the sun was coming up. Lou pulled her coat tighter around her. It was colder up in the hills, but this was a cold deep on the inside. This was a cold she wasn't sure she could get rid of. At least not anytime soon.
At the top of the hill, the riders dismounted and walked their horses a little further up the hill and around a small turn. They stopped and stared at the small area ahead of them. Lou stumbled forward and fell on her knees in front of the headstone. She ran her fingers over it and whispered, "Jimmy."
The boys moved in closer and sat on the ground, sitting in a semicircle around Lou. They let their tears flow freely. As they watched their sister grieve for their brother, they also grieved for him. He was one of them, would always be one of them, even in death.
Voices brought them out of their trance, forcing them to realize they had been there for over an hour. Onlookers looked at small group. "Hey, we want to see, too." Someone shouted when he couldn't get closer.
The boys turned around, guns drawn. "She is grieving her brother. We'll be gone in a while, you can just wait your turn." Buck growled at the man before him. "Have some respect for the dead and his family."
"Buck," Lou gave in her warning tone. "I'm ready to go home." She stood up and faced the man before her. "He was a good man. We knew him before Marcus made him 'Wild Bill'. He was a good and loving man. You people may never know the real Jimmy, but we did. Yes, he was our Jimmy before he was your 'Wild Bill'. Remember that when you gloat at his grave."
The man before her stepped back in shock at the sound of her voice. It was laced with ice and he could tell this woman had a temper when prompted. The stranger looked at the men with the woman. They didn't help him out. Kid had a slight smile on his face and Cody looked amused. Lou, after showing hardly any emotions for the last month and a half, had a temper once again.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." The man hung his head in shame.
Lou turned to her family. "Let's head home." She then turned back to the grave of her brother and whispered, "Ride safe, Jimmy." Taking Kid's hand in hers, they walked away from the site, knowing for sure in their hearts that Jimmy was not coming home. He was home, and he didn't have to look over his shoulder any more.
"Over You"
Writers: Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert; Sung by: Miranda Lambert
Weather man said it's gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I'm not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
I know you didn't mean to give them to me
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone
Cause you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you