I pace around living compartment. Why haven't I been aloud to see her? It's been weeks since they rescued the victors from the Capitol. 1 week spent in intensive care and 2 weeks recovering from surgery. That's the part that makes me worry. Surgery...for what? It only adds to my fear of losing the last person I love more then anything.

I sit with Prim and her mother at breakfast this morning. It seems to brighten their dim faces to know someone else cares about what happens to Katniss too. I haven't seen Gale since they got back. I hope he's ok.

It's quiet at our table; none of use talk, we just eat in silence until they're no more reason to be at the table anymore.

I'm on my way from the dining hall when Boggs intercepts me.

"They want you at the hospital right now." he says.

"Do you think they'll let me see her?" I try not to get too excited, but it's impossible to get excited over the possibility of finally seeing her again.

"There's a good possibility." by the tone in his over he's telling me not to get my hopes up. Even if I find it a struggle.

I wait a few seconds after he leaves before begin what seems like a mix of a walk and a run towards the hospital.

"Go right on in she's waiting for you." A nurse from 13 says as soon as I walk into the hospital.

"Her room is down the hall, last one on the left."

I give her a warm smile and a quick thank you as I walk down the hall of the hospital. It's strange in a way that the nurse knew what I was here for right away. Then again why else would I be here?

I stand outside the door for a moment, remembering the last time I saw here. She was so thin, her usually olive skin was paper white and her long black hair had been cut to her jawline. She looked like only a shell of the person I knew her to be.

I take in a deep breath before turning the door handle as I enter the hospital room. I see her in the bed at the far end of the room. The hospital bed is propped into it's sitting position but her eyes are close and she looks like she's sleeping, the only thing that gives her away is the set of her lips. They're always parted when she's asleep.

I am standing in front of her bed now, she doesn't look as frail and she has some of her colour back. I've only been standing here for less then a second when she opens her mouth.

"Is that you Peeta?" I know she wasn't asleep but I'm still startled when she speaks.

"Yes it's me." I smile. "How did you know?"

"You have the loudest tread of any person I've ever met." She smiles and leans forward into more of a sitting position with her eyes focused on her hands, that she has folded in her lap.

I don't hesitate for a second. I sit down on the bed and give her a hug; she doesn't hesitate to return it.

"I missed you." I whisper it in her ear.

When we release she still keeps her eyes on her hands almost like a shy child. It worries me. I wanted to keep this reunion a light one but as much as I know both of us want that, I don't think it will happen.

The silence last sometime before I break it.

"Why did it take so long for me to see you? Is everything alright?" I don't want to press her but I can't seem to help it.

There's a long pause before she responds. "Do you remember after the last Capitol Broadcast? The own about the attack?"

She still isn't looking at me.

I do remember, she warned us about the attack on 13, saved the entire population but served a beating from Snow for it.

"Yes." I can feel worry creeping into my voice.

"I'm really shouldn't tell you, they don't want me to. They didn't even you to see me until much later." She slowly draws in a breath.

The worry is still building. I know it's hard for her but it takes so much not to plead for her to hurry up and tell me what wrong. But I let her take her time.

"They tried something and...it didn't work like it was supposed to...it did something to me."

What did they try? What was it supposed to do? What did it do? These questions try to find there way out, but I swallow them back. Instead I want try something. The one thing that can calm my worry. I want her just to look at me.

She looks in danger of crying from what I can see. I reach out my hand.

"Katniss? Look at me." I put my hand on her face, she jerks her head away.

"Please look at me and tell me, what did it do." I can hear the panic in my voice. I try to lift her face again be she grabs my hand.

"I can't." She says it in a whisper; I can tell she's crying.

"You can. Please just look at me, don't tell me anything if you don't want to just please, look at my." I say softly so only she can hear.

"No Peeta. I can't look at you." She whispers again. I can see the tears rolling off her face onto her lap.

"Why not?" I say

Then she looks at me...only she doesn't look at me. Her eyes stare off into the distance. They aren't filled with fire there cold like ice.

"I can't see you."