Title: The Eloping of a Conflicted Woman
Pairing: Tony D. & Ziva D.
Synopsis: Coming out just about unscathed from a catastrophic event with repercussions will have its after-effects on people. These two proved that.
Based around Ziva's thoughts.
Genre: Romance/Drama
Disclaimer: Disclaimed.
She feels an unusual sense of normality twist itself inside her, and that creates an odd feeling of confusion and anger. Because yes, this isn't normal. This is so far from normal that she no longer feels like herself. Yet she can't bring about any feeling of worry or doubt, because this feels right.
For once he actually made sense. Every word that tumbled out of his mouth back at the Navy Yard two days ago, made perfect sense: She understood every word.
Elope with me.
Three little words. That's all it was. That's all she wanted to hear really. Perhaps not the eloping part, but a break away from the terrorism and the threats and the death will do her good, she thinks.
She begins to wrack her head over the conversations they had with each other over the past couple of days. (The wedding conversation) She should've known that conversation would come back to bite her in the ass. Little late to go back on it now.
She looks down at her left hand, and stares at the shimmer of the gold band in the night light. She feels a bout of panic rise in her for the first time in days. She is actually married. To her partner. She attempts to swallow the fear and calm herself down, but it's not working.
This was a bad idea. Such a bad idea.
She feels his arm tighten over her waist, and his fingers spread across her skin to relax her, and even in his sleep he has the ability to calm her.
She slows her breathing and curls her body further into the mattress and the arms of her partner. He's always known what to say without saying anything at all.
She checks to see if he is still asleep. He seems to be. But she wouldn't put it past him that he's pretending to sleep until he feels her drift off first.
She turns her thoughts back to the whole day they've just endured. A day getting married at Virginia Beach with a few witnesses, then one too many at their hotel's bar, and that's all she remembers, before she woke up in bed, naked, with her husband draped over her.
Husband. That's what he is now. Tony is no longer a partner, colleague or friend. He is her husband. She still can't believe it. Since when was she this spontaneous?
She's frustrated and she doesn't understand why.
It hasn't been 24 hours her marriage has lasted yet. Is Tony that bad to be married to? No, she decides almost instantly. There's nothing wrong with him. This is her and her stupid head trying to mess her up and make her run for the hills like her instincts would usually tell her to.
That was the old Ziva. Shaking off guys who bared relationships and possessiveness even, it always made her run. So why was Tony so different?
Because she's known him for more than six years? Because he's her partner? Because she loves him? Her breath hitches in her throat, and the feeling catches her off guard and threatens to swallow her whole. She loves him. It's kind of a surprise to her. But after she thinks about it, she calms down and the shock begins to dissipate.
Perhaps it isn't a new feeling, her love for Tony. It's just the first time she has acknowledged it and allowed herself to be flayed open raw and wear her emotions on her sleeve.
She and Tony eloped as of over a week ago. She still had to get used to the idea. Yes, she loves Tony, she now knows that, and so he does. It came out in a spur of tearful emotions the following morning, before he returned the favour, and they made love, savouring every sober second, committing new things to memory.
She doesn't know why she cried. She wants to Gibbs slap herself for doing it, but Tony didn't care. He just wiped her tears and gave her such a promise smothered in a kiss that her toes curled in the sheets and her head spun with such intensity she couldn't really think straight.
That's something she should really get used to. Getting kissed by Tony. Having him look at her with such love and adoration that it makes her heart swell.
That's another new thing too. So much adjustment needed, she may have to sit and think about this one properly.
She supposes that evening when he takes her to the beach when it's quiet, and the sun is close to setting, that a serious conversation is coming. It's a given.
"I spoke to Gibbs this afternoon." There it is.
"Is everything alright in DC?"
"The Navy Yard's been deemed safe. The Government are working on the repairs."
"Hired help?"
"Yeah. We still have our home." She agrees and disagrees with that. She loves the Navy Yard and the family she gained with it. But the people are home for her. Tony, is home for her.
"My home is wherever you and the team are." She is surprised at the intensity of her honesty, but Tony doesn't seem to notice or doesn't dwell on it for her sake. Either way she is grateful.
Her head rests against his shoulder, and she smiles at the domesticated feel of them when his arm automatically comes round her to cradle her into him, when she shivers at the cool breeze.
"You know I'm not going to let Gibbs split us up, right?" She continues to stare out at the ocean and the sun that is now resting halfway over the water in the distance. She thinks this one over carefully. It had crossed her mind that Gibbs may possibly be unhappy at their sudden marriage, but she's not sure whether he would actually split them up. She can't bare the thought really, it makes her throat dry, and she panics at the mere thought, but does her best to disguise it.
"I know." And it's true. She knows that Tony will do anything to protect their newfound relationship. He'll do anything to protect her.
She feels the need to reciprocate. Return the favour. "I will not let him break us apart either." He turns to kiss her temple then and pull her the slightest bit closer.
This eloping thing ain't half damn complicated.
She's really anxious during the car ride back. The realism of all this has hit her again, square in the chest, and she's panicking so much that Tony had to pull the car over to ask what's wrong.
She tries her best to shrug it off when asked, but he ain't listening. He knows when she's lying, so she gives up trying to.
He does his best to console her, but she can't shake the feeling that something bad will happen to them. Whether it be now or later.
They have no idea what to do when they reach DC. Married couples live together right? So why the fuck do they hesitate? Why is it, he drops her home, and watches as she hesitantly walks away from him? For god sake, as her husband, he should be with her.
So why can't he get off his ass and call her back? She does it for him in the end.
"Come to bed with me, Tony." And that's it, she thinks. She doesn't want to be parted from him right now. He causes unnecessary panic in her and over-thinking, but he loves her, and she loves him.
Maybe eloping with her partner wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Originally posted over on my Tumblr to get a general reaction from the wonderful people in the NCIS fandom that I know and speak to, and finally posted on here.