So, here's another one-shot. I've been on a bit of a roll lately. I just wrote this little bit of philosophical Puck pondering his problems (am I the only one that thinks everyone on Glee could use a good therapist?). Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.
All he wanted was a chance. That's it. It was setting right in front of him, all wrapped up in a pretty purple bow. He could've had it all. The beautiful child, her gorgeous (if quite a bit older) mother, a nice apartment, college. He could've had a purpose.
Then she told him to leave.
Man, why does sex always fuck him over!
Maybe he should try abstaining—it would make Ma happy—and becoming like the Buddha or something.
Nah, he'd never be able to hold up that.
He sighs and relaxes on his bed. He groans. Why does he always loose? His mother's voice rings in his ears, 'You never try hard enough, Noah. You give up as soon as it starts looking dark. You need to work for something'.
Maybe she's right. Maybe he doesn't try hard enough. He tried like hell with Quinn, but his sexual hunger screwed that up (damn Santana and her amazing sexting abilities!). He tried with Rachel, but…gave up as soon as she broke up with him. He tries with school, until he gets bored. He tries in Glee, but then, with Rachel on the team, you can't really not try. That girl has him cornered. If he gives up he'll have her to answer to.
Maybe that's what he needs. Consequences. He always does better when he either has something to work for or a punishment to follow. But then, doesn't everything in life either have a reward or punishment? Maybe he needs to figure out what those are.
Well, there's the basic things, like not breaking the law again (he really didn't like becoming someone's bitch). There's school, which, other than detention and the threat of him not being able to graduate, doesn't mean much to him. There's Quinn…he cares about her, he really does, but after her little stunt, she scares him. There's Rachel…she probably won't look at him if she knew he screwed her mother. There's Finn…he's still gotta make right by him. Glee…he's doing fine in that.
Beth. His amazing baby girl. She's the best of him, Quinn, and even Shelby combined. He's got Quinn's brain, but not her ridiculously high-strung attitude and craziness. She's got his easy nature, but isn't as rambunctious. And she's learning from Shelby. Picking up her habits and mannerisms. She's even learning Shelby's melodramatic facial expressions.
This kid is going to grow up to become awesome.
But still…would it be better for her with or without him in her life? He knows what it's like to be without a dad, but then again, he didn't have a mother that could afford to spend that much time and energy and money on him like Beth does. If he's with her…he's terrified of rubbing off on her. He doesn't want his kid to be a delinquent.
Maybe he should try to shape himself up a little more. He had already taken the first steps just to get into her life, avoiding the whisky and actually getting a B on his History quiz. If he keeps it up…would he actually be worthy of being her father? Would he be able to prove that he can be a good father?
Finally, there's the grand matriarch. Shelby. She's probably the most confusing of all the elements. At least with Beth, he knows what he has to do. With Shelby? He's at a complete loss. Should he try to go all cheesy rom-com on her and do all the romantic crap that women eat up? Should he take a step back and work back into a friendship and go from there? Should he try to become a man that can take care of her?
The movies never talk about this part of it. They just emphasize the whole, 'Love Conquers All' shit. Well, he's in love, and it sure as hell ain't conquering anything.
And yes, you heard right. Puckzilla's in love.
She's just so incredible. It's not just the sexual attraction (though that part isn't bad either). He really admires her. The way she handles Beth, the way she's able to work and be a single mom at the same time, even the way she handles her students. She's just amazing. He wants—no, needs more of her.
His mind creeps back to that afternoon. He feels sort of guilty. In a way, he took advantage of her. She was scared and running on adrenaline and lonely. All he wanted to do was to make her feel better. Isn't that what love's all about? Wanting to make the other person feel better? Wanting to make all their hurt go away? Maybe he should've taken her to the couch to cuddle up to a movie instead of carrying her to the bedroom. Maybe if he would've done that, he wouldn't be alone in his bedroom musing his problems right now.
He misses both of them. He misses the way Shelby would talk about how great the girls were doing and how happy she looked when she spoke of them. He misses holding Beth and hearing her endless babbling. He misses when all three of them would curl up on the couch and watch Disney movies. He misses his family.
That's what he wants. His family. He's gotten a taste of what that's like, two parents who're together, a child that's adored, a home filled with love. He needs more of it. He has to. Even if he has to fight for it.
So that's what he's going to do.
He swings himself off of his bed and tramples down the hall. He shouts at his mom that he'll be back later and gets in his truck. He picks up some Italian (lasagna for Shelby, plain spaghetti noodles for Beth, and regular spaghetti for him) and pulls into the Eagle Apartment Complex's parking lot. He takes a deep breath. This is it. He's going to start fighting, even if it kills him.
He goes up to the second floor and down the hall, first door on the left. Another deep breath. Time for the battle to start.
He knocks on the door and waits for Shelby to answer.
Please review!