Failure
A Glee One Shot
A/N: Choke made me miserable. It made me want to give up on Glee for the rest of my natural born life. I literally started to bawl right along with Rachel when she messed up the song, and I get that it's just a show, but Rachel is just so much like me that it felt like it was happening to me. Especially since whenever I need confidence, I use her performance of that song to help me. So much for that. Anyways, here's the missing scene that was needed for this episode.

Rachel Berry sat there in the auditorrium in a sad heap, her arms wrapped around her knees that were pulled tightly to her chest. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were stained with mascara from her tears. Her hair was a frizzy mess that wasn't controllable in the least. She was trying to remain normal, trying to put on a happy act. But it wasn't working. She'd messed up on a song that she'd known all the words to. She'd been able to sing that song backwards and forwards since she was two years old. Two freaking years old. And she'd messed up. How was that even possible? Perhaps she wasn't focusing? Could she have been worried that her song choice wasn't as daring as Kurt's had been? Maybe she'd assumed she'd needed to have picked a riskier choice for her audition? But no...Barbra was her singer. Any song by her was the perfect choice for Rachel to perform. Yet, she'd failed.

The only way to truly fail is to not try.

Never let failure get to your head.

There is no failure, except when you decide to stop trying.

Failure is not falling down. It's refusing to get back up.

Failure isn't final.

Just because you make a mistake, it doesn't make you a failure. It just means you've learned and can improve.

Yeah, right. She was so tired of listening to everybody go on and on about how it was okay. They didn't understand. They didn't realize that Rachel wasn't good at anything else besides performing, and now it had been proven quite obviously that she wasn't even good at that. She wasn't good enough for NYADA and she wasn't good enough for Broadway. She was nothing more than a failure. She'd disappointed her mother...her fathers, her friends, her teachers-Finn...and, most importantly, she'd disappointed Streisand. How could she have let that happen? So, all those people who tried to make her think her mistake had been okay and wasn't that big of a deal? They were stupid and wrong. The little voices in her head? Those were right.

I'm a failure.

I'm worthless.

Nothing good ever happens to me.

Why am I even trying?

It's all my fault.

Life's just not even worth living anymore.

Yes, those were the true statements. Those self help books were all wrong when they told her that she couldn't be brave without being hurt. She could learn without making mistakes, thank you very much. And she didn't want to have to face failure in order to be successful. She could fail at other things. She had failed at other things. Had Glee ever won regionals? No, they had not. There, she'd failed at something. Had she been crowned class president? Another failed attempt.

"I screw up everything," Rachel sighed, allowing herself to fall back against the hardwood floor of the stage.

"You do? I'm a failure...a total loser," Rachel gasped as she popped back up and turned around to face Noah Puckerman, the local bad boy of the school. "But, you know, I don't know why I thought any different. I don't get why I even bother anymore, you know? I'm a failure and I can't change that. I'm just like my dad," Puck sighed as he approached the girl. He sat down next to her after a few moments of silence and then blurted out, "Maybe some of us aren't good at anything," He said.

"I'm just kind of tired, you know?" Rachel said softly. This shocked Puck. He wasn't used to Rachel wanted to talk to him-to her being honest with him. And while he liked that she was being so open to him, he felt a little awkward. How was he supposed to respond? What did he say? What did he do? "I want to stop trying and not care for just a little while," Rachel went on, and Puck remembered exactly what it was that he liked about her so much. She could ramble for years and years. "I'm a little tired of feeling like a failure all the time," She shook her head.

This was where Puck got angry. He'd failed almost every single test he'd ever taken in his entire life, and Rachel was saying that she was the failure? At least she would be graduating high school. At least she could find something to do with her life, even if the college of her choice was out of reach. That didn't make her a failure for life.

"I guess I'm just going to give up on all my hopes and dreams," the teenage drama queen continued. They were quiet for a little bit, and Puck realized how upset Rachel must be. She wasn't rambling on. She was being quiet and peaceful. For once, she wasn't fishing for compliments or trying to get people to see something her way. She was heartbroken and Puck had never seen her this way before.

"Do you love performing?" Puck asked. Rachel gave him an odd look as she nodded. "Then failing wasn't that bad."He declared. "Listen, the way I see it, failing at something you love? That's fine, because you want to push yourself to do better and you'll enjoy trying again. But failing at something you hate? Actually, even being successful at something you hate sucks. Because you don't want to go around and brag about it. You don't want to improve. You just hate it and every moment spent on it," He went on.

"Puck, it doesn't matter if I love it or now," Rachel rolled her eyes. "It was NYADA and I blew my chance. I'm not getting in now. It's over. I might as well just kiss my Broadway career goodbye. I mean, I messed up a song I knew my whole life. Can you picture what I'll do after a rehearsing for a few months on Broadway? I'll blow my chance and my understudy will get the part. Or worse...I'll become the understudy. I need to be ready at a moment's notice if I'm casted as an understudy, you do know that, right? And if I'm not, I'm fired and I'll probably never act again!" Rachel said.

"You get perfect grades. You don't get into trouble. You're like, the ideal student and the perfect image of a daughter. You've earned the right to mess up a couple of times. If you really care about performing, than you won't let this one failed attempt stop you from doing what you really care about," He shook his head. "After all, I'm not going to graduate now. I failed that test, all because the stupid song only taught me two things," Puck sighed.

Rachel frowned but shook her head. She had her own problems. She couldn't worry about what Puck was talking about with this silly song. But something was bothering her about his confession.

"You told Finn you got an A on that test," She said softly.

"Well, that shows how stupid our boy Finn is, doesn't it? Who would believe that I could get an A?" Puck chuckled. Rachel couldn't help it-his smile made her want to laugh as well. So she allowed a giggle to be released. And with her giggle came actual laughter from Puck. And then Rachel was in hysterics. And then they were both clutching their sides and rolling on the floor, gasping for air as they laughed like crazy people.

"If it makes you feel any better, almost 90% of her class fails every year-I almost failed that class. I did fail that class. I just dropped it," Rachel admitted.

"Dear teacher," Puck said in the most serious manner that Rachel had ever heard from him. "If 90% of the class failed the exam, it is not because we are lazy and didn't try. It's because you are a terrible teacher and should be fired," Puck concluded with a half grin. "The thing is, Rach, you're just so...talented," Puck said slowly. "That people wish you the best, when they secretly are hoping for your failure," He explained.

"I did my best at that song, Noah," Rachel said and Puck brightened. She hadn't called him Noah in what seemed like ever. "And people say it's not failing if you did your best, but I failed and I worked so hard," She said, eyes flooding with tears again.

"Berry," Puck sighed, grabbing her and pulling her close to him in a tight hug. "I tried my best at that test, and I've got a big, fat, red F at the top of my paper to show that sometimes you fail even when you do try your best," Puck laughed.

"People just don't understand why I'm so frustrated. It's just...I try so damn hard to make everybody else happy and I end up failing at everything lately because of it," Rachel shook her head. Puck frowned. He rarely heard his hot little Jewish American princess swear.

"That's the key to failure. Trying to please everybody but yourself. You need to worry about what makes Rachel Berry happy, and then you can succeed," Puck said, unsure of where these sweet words were coming from. It had to have been from lack of sleep. He'd been up all night studying with the boys for days, and he'd barely gotten any sleep the night before because he'd been so worried about being just like his father. Then again, he had vowed to be nicer to Jews at the end of the previous year when he'd been saved from the Port a Potty. "Listen, you failed once. It doesn't make you a failure for life, okay?" he said.

"You should listen to your own advice," She smiled at him pushing herself away and standing up. "I..."She paused for a second as she wiped her face, trying to smudge off the streaks of mascara on her cheeks. "I should go meet up with Finn...he's been texting me for a while, and I guess I should let him know that I'm starting to get over it," She shrugged. "Thanks, though," She called over her shoulder as she dismounted the stage.

"No problem," Puck shook his head. But, as Rachel Berry walked away, he could only think of the only words he'd forgotten to tell her. I love you. He barely had a month left, and he'd blown what was most likely his last opportunity to tell her. Now, all he could hope for was some desperate reason for Finn to call of the wedding, or even Rachel to cancel it. If not, he may just pull a Taylor Swift and run in when they said to speak now.

Rachel was having similar feelings as she left Puck alone in the auditorrium. Sometimes, the bad boy was just so sweet that it was hard to forget the feelings she'd had for him repeatedly during her sophomore year. It was almost impossible to forget about how she'd felt junior year when he'd been there when Finn had been proven to be a liar. And a large part of her wanted to turn around and run back to him, but she had a promise made to Finn, and she really did love Finn. Of course, she loved Puck too. The thing was, Finn was the safe choice, as just as she'd attempted to make Kurt do, she always went for the safe choice. She just hoped taking the safe choice in marriage wouldn't result in the same effect that her audition safe choice had had.