A/N: I honestly don't know why I'm making this fanfic. Well here's a crazy reason, I wanted to portray Uhura in a vulnerable light and let her favorite Captain comfort her. So here's a long drawn out story involving our fierce Lieutenant and daring Captain. NOT FOR FANS OF UHURA/SPOCK, I repeat, NOT FOR FANS OF UHURA/SPOCK! There will be absolutely none of that in this fanfic. I hope you enjoy the first taste enough to R&R, favorite and follow.

Chapter 1: Death Is Scary

Strange and confused looks were thrown Lieutenant Uhura's way, but her foggy vision prevented her from noticing them. It could only be described as strange and out of character to see the usually controlled Lieutenant drinking herself to death. No one of the crew could bring themselves to actually sit down and ask her what was wrong; no one except the Captain himself, James T. Kirk.

Kirk froze at the sight of his best Lieutenant slouched at the bar, resting her cheek against a bottle of whiskey. So many things were wrong with this image that his mind almost completely rejected it. However, Jim straightened his posture and put on his most calm expression as he strode over to sit next to Uhura.

"Lieutenant, what exactly are you doing?" Nyota snorts at that, forgetting the glass entirely and taking a sip from the bottle. "I would think anyone as familiar with bars as you would know. I'm drinking myself to death."

Jim takes a steadying breath, "Why?" Nyota finally lifts her head from the bar to look at him. Jim swallows at her tear soaked face. The Captain looks around the room, silently ordering everyone to pay them no mind. He stands and grabs Uhura's arm, pulling her from her seat. "Come on, I'll take you to your quarters."

"No…I don't want to go there."

"Well I have to talk to you somewhere. It's either your quarters, mine, or we could keep this strictly professional and take it to my ready room. It is your choice, Lieutenant." Nyota suddenly feels ashamed under the scrutiny of those piercing blue eyes.

Nyota willingly lets him escort her to her quarters. Since Nyota cannot remember the passcode to save her life, Jim just punches in the override. He basically carries her to the bed, laying her down gently.

"Now do you wanna tell me what that was all about?" Nyota feels tears roll down her cheeks again at the mere thought of the undeniable. She pulls her legs up to her chest and wishes she could disappear.

"My parents died." Three words chill James to the core and he freezes a second time, wondering what it is he's supposed to say, do. What should anyone do in this situation? His instincts kick in and without really thinking about it he crouches down to wrap his arms around the sobbing and weak girl.

He feels her tense in his arms and he moves to leave her, prepared to apologize profusely. Jim gasps when he's suddenly hugged back, hard. Nyota turns to rest her head in his neck. Jim feels tears soak his skin and he begins to rub her back.

"I'm so sorry… How did it happen?"

"Fire…I won't even get to see their faces again. They're charred."

Choking sobs fill the air, Nyota tightening the grasp on her Captain. If she let's go…she's gone.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Captain, thank you for caring enough to ask." James pulls away to flash that charismatic smile, blue eyes twinkling like moonlight on the ocean.

"Call me Jim." Those three words brighten something inside Nyota for some reason she cannot explain. "Okay…"

"When did you find out?"

"This morning." Nyota curses herself for crying again, holding her face in her hands. Jim scrambles to get some tissues and politely hands them to her.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Uhura. So…you're telling me, that you found out you became an orphan this morning and decided to come in and work your shift as if everything was fine?"

Nyota nods and looks up at him through blurry tears. "If I have to call you Jim, then it is only fair that you call me Nyota."

"Nyota…" Jim tests the word in his mouth and Nyota shrugs. "It means star in my native tongue. You'll get use to it." Jim smiles at her before sitting next to her on the bed.

"Do you think you'll be ok for tonight? Would you like me to stay longer and talk or I could leave right now."

Nyota sniffles and looks up at the man, surprised and pleased with how kind he is being.

"I know you should leave but I feel like…like I can't live without them. They've been here with me through everything and now that they are not… I wanna die." She closes her eyes and lets a fresh wave of tears escape, hearing Jim suck in a breath.

They look at each other in the quiet and secure dimness of the room and Jim shakes his head. "No, death…death is scary, Lieutenant."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…your ex-boyfriend told me 'you can't cheat death', I say that's a load shit." Nyota laughs, eyes widening in surprise that she still remembers how to. Jim smiles at her, no teeth, but still a smile.

"I know about death okay? I was dead for weeks. And let me just tell you, it's not fun."

"What's death like?"

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you, or anyone. It's a question that should never be answered. I wish it had stayed that way with me. Please tell me you don't really want to die. I know you couldn't give all of this up – Starfleet, the Enterprise, seeing my gorgeous face every day."

Nyota surprises herself with another laugh, making Jim smile, his blue eyes crinkling at the sides.

"I like it when you laugh. I'm glad you haven't forgotten."

"I thought I did…um…Jim?" Her Captain looks at her expectedly, those blue eyes wide open. "Could you stay with me tonight?"

"You don't think you'll make it on your own?" Nyota shakes her head slowly and Jim feels a stab of hurt in his heart from seeing his usually strong Lieutenant looking up at him so vulnerable and frightened.

"I'll stay with you tonight…and any other time you need me."

"Thank you…Jim, thank you."

"It's about 1100, I think you should get some sleep."

"You should too."

Jim smiles at her, tucking her in carefully after she is settled under the blankets. Minutes go by with Jim perched on the edge of the bed and watching his Lieutenant try to go to sleep. Jim furrows his brow in worry as she continues shaking and not from cold.

Finally Jim sighs and builds up enough courage to climb under the covers and wrap his arms around his Lieutenant. Nyota gasps and stiffens in his embrace. Jim shocks them both with his calm and collected voice whispering, "relax…I got you. Just get some sleep."

"Okay…you'll still be here in the morning?" Nyota's voice mimics a small frightened child.

Jim nods, tightening his arms around her small waist and whispering into her hair. "Of course I will."

"Thank you…" Nyota's voice trails off as she finally surrenders to her fatigue, falling asleep in her Captain's cocoon.

For the longest time it so seems, Jim just lays still and watches her sleep, hearing her calm deep breaths and hoping that her sleep is peaceful and undisturbed.

The following morning Jim wakes up before Nyota, taking the time to stay rooted in his place and watching her. He tries to convince himself that he's only staying because she would notice his absence. Jim refuses to acknowledge the fact that he likes holding her smaller frame in his arms, feeling her against him.

Somewhere during the night Nyota rolled over to face him, placing her fists on his chest and snuggling into neck. Jim sighed at feeling her chest expand against his.

Finally Nyota wakes and drags sleepy eyes up to look at him. "Good morning."

"Morning, sleep well?"

"Yeah, thank you again."

"Stop thanking me already. I'm just glad you're okay." Nyota nods and smiles, standing up to go brush her teeth. Jim speaks over the running water.

"I think you should stay in your quarters today. Or just don't work your shifts." Nyota pops her head out the door.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because…you're not in the best state of mind. You did say you wanted to die."

"If anything, I need to work to take my mind off of it."

"I'm not sure about that, Lieutenant. I don't want to use my superior rank against you." Nyota walks over to stand in front of him. "Then don't."

"Do you really think you can work efficiently on the bridge?"

"Yes." Jim stands up and clears the distance between them, leaving mere inches between them. "You're holding it in. Just cry like you did last night. I didn't get over my brother's death by working. And I can guarantee you the same thing."

Jim sees something shatter in her resolve and she bites her lip, eyes growing glossy as they flutter around the room and then back at him. "Come here." Nyota breaks into sobs and throws herself into his arms, glad that he's holding onto her so tightly.

Jim shushes her, hand absently stroking her hair as she takes two fists full of his uniform. "It's okay, you're okay."

"I don't think so."

"Yeah you are…you are, trust me. If you weren't acting this way then you wouldn't be human."

"Okay…" Jim continues to rub her back soothingly, his other hand holding her warm neck. "Will you stay here and rest then?" Nyota nods and pulls away to look at him, smiling softly. "Yeah, thanks again…for everything."

Jim stiffens nervously when she leans forward on her tippy toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. They both feel a shot of warmth from where her lips made contact with his skin. Nyota pulls away slowly, looking up at him in question.

They grow alarmingly aware of how close they are. Before Jim can object are think otherwise, Nyota is taking his lips with her in a curious and slow taste. A nagging voice tells him this isn't right, that he shouldn't be taking advantage of her when she's so fragile.

But it feels so good he cannot stop. The Captain cannot even remember the last woman he kissed liked this…well he never kissed a woman so gently, so soft, as if he was afraid they might break.

Jim allows Nyota to lead the kiss, but he soon dominates it. He places his hands on her waist and pulls her snug against him. They stumble to the bed, Jim sitting down and moaning softly when she straddles him.

Her lips are soft and taste of honey as they press desperately against her Captain's. Jim starts at the eager tongue invading his mouth but doesn't skip a beat before gently sucking on it, adding his own wet muscle to the sweet sensation.

Jim's hands wander lower to her hips, cupping her ass as Nyota entwines her fingers in his blonde hair. James holds her tighter and slams her onto the bed, pinning her body to the bed with his own.

James gasps when Nyota bucks her hips up towards his hardness. The Captain never being known for will power, he cannot resist fisting her silky hair and grinding against her greedily.

But the voice in the back of his head wins out and he breaks the kiss abruptly, rolling off of her and staring up at the ceiling. "We shouldn't have done that." He pants breathlessly.

"But we did."

"It can't happen again. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you when you're like this."

"I kissed you; you didn't take advantage of me. I wanted to kiss you." Jim sits up and looks at her, confused and stunned. "Why?"

Nyota sits up also, "I don't know. You were being so nice and…I don't know."

"I have to get out of here. I'll check on you later, okay?" Jim stands and quickly walks to the door, ignoring Nyota's calls after him.

"Jim, wait, I-I'm sorry!"

Her quarter doors slide shut behind him and she thinks about what they just did and what she just said. She realizes terrifyingly that she just completely lied to him. Nyota was not and is not sorry for what happened at all. She wanted to…but did he? Did she actually take advantage of her own Captain? She has to apologize immediately! She was completely out of line.

Nyota quickly dresses in a clean uniform, her panic about the situation growing with every passing second she races out of her quarters to find her Captain.

James T. Kirk sighed, baring his teeth against the freezing water running over his heated body. He silently willed his erection to disappear and the cold water slowly helps. He runs shampoo through his hair and soap over his body.

His thoughts drift to his kiss with Nyota. It had been good, the best he's ever had. Never has he ever wanted someone so much. But it was wrong, so wrong.

But it felt good…but I can't kiss members of my crew. They're my family. She's not thinking clearly anyway.

Jim turns off the water and steps out of the shower, drying off his hair and body before finding a clean uniform to wear.

He quickly dresses and walks to the bridge, greeting his crew as if he didn't just have a hot make out session with his own Lieutenant. Jim lounges comfortably in his Captain's chair.

Minutes go by when finally, Nyota arrives on the bridge to everyone's surprise since they've heard the rumors by now. Jim struggles to look her in the eye and not thinking about her talented mouth as she stands by his chair.

"Captain, may I speak to you privately?"

"Sure, Lieutenant, Spock, you have the con." I follow her into the vacant hall and cross my arms.
"Captain, I find I must apologize for what happened this morning. I should not have kissed you. It was incredibly out of line."

Neither Jim or Nyota knows what comes over him before he smashes his lips to hers. Jim fights the urge to throw her small body against the wall, instead taking her face in his large hands and kissing her gently, slowly. Nyota moans into her Captain's mouth, wrapping her hands around his wrists and silently granting his tongue access.

They don't know how long they stay in each other's arms, Nyota humming softly. Jim finally breaks away for air. "I'm sorry." Nyota holds up a finger to shush him. "Don't apologize, I kissed you back. So what are we?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but all you need to know is that I'm here for you as you go through this. Okay?" Nyota nods and smiles, clearing the distance between them in seconds and wrapping her Captain in a tight hug.

THREE DAYS LATER

Nyota rocked herself on the shower floor. She had been feeling sick for the past two days and hadn't told a soul of her condition.

Every kind of food repulsed her, she could keep nothing down and she was constantly shaking with the thoughts of her now deceased parents. Nyota still hasn't come out of denial. She refuses to believe that they are dead, they can't be.

But every call she made to their home was answered with a mechanical voice, a friendly mechanical voice that haunted her nightmares, mocking her.

The scorching hot water ran over her hair and body, but did no help to warm her. Nyota's heart had turned to ice the day she found out about their death and since then no blood has pumped through her veins. In her head, she was asleep, having a terrible dream and she just needed to wake up.

"I gotta wake up…please wake up, please…" Nyota muttered to herself over and over again.

James T. Kirk thought nothing of his Lieutenant's absence the first two days. He merely thought she had taken his advice and was resting in her quarters. But on the third day Kirk had an uneasy feeling that something was wrong when no one had seen or heard from Nyota at all.

Before James could realize what he was doing, his feet were plotting a course for his Lieutenant's quarters.

When he stood face to face with her white door he takes a deep breath and steadies himself before knocking three times. Jim presses his ear to the door and hears running water but no reply. He knocks again and calls, "Nyota. Nyota let me in please. Nyota!"

Jim shakes his head, he really didn't want to do this but she was giving him no choice. He punches in the override code and the doors swish open.

Jim runs to the bathroom, gasping at the sight of his Lieutenant naked and curled into a ball on the shower floor. Jim rushes over and turns off the water, kneeling next to Nyota and holding her shoulders, uncaring of her being nude.

"Nyota, what, what are you doing? No one has seen you in days. How are you feeling?" Nyota doesn't answer him only continues to mutter "gotta wake up…please wake up, please…"

James shakes his head and gently places an arm under her knees and one behind her wet back. He lifts her shaking naked body in his arms, carefully cradling her to his clothed warm chest. Nyota's drenched hair looks black as it drips onto Jim's golden uniform. "Please stop muttering that. What does it even mean?"

Nyota's brown eyes look dull as they slowly focus on his cerulean orbs. "James…what are you doing?"

"Taking you to Medical Bay."

"Why?"

"Because you're not well; it seems like you're a second away from a mental breakdown."

James sits Nyota down on her bed, grabbing a towel and patting her dry before gingerly wrapping her in a silk robe. Jim lifts her again, quickly carrying her to Medical Bay bridal style. "What the hell is this, Jim?"

"It's Nyota, she is sick, really sick and…I don't know what to do." Bones shakes his head, motioning to a biobed.

Jim lays his Lieutenant down carefully, afraid of breaking her. Somewhere during the walk Nyota had passed out in his arms, drooling slightly on his shoulder.

"So what happened?"

"I don't know. I found her in the shower muttering something about waking up. I think she had a mental breakdown."

"Well her weight is lower than it should be, she's colder and her rate is slower. Some sleep and she'll be fine. I highly recommend she has some shore leave to take care of her parent's funeral and get over their death."

"I know; she cannot remain on the Enterprise. As soon as she wakes she will be sent back to earth for immediate shore leave. Do you really think she will be okay, Bones?"

Leonard McCoy gives his friend a sympathetic look and nods while scribbling something on his PADD. "Of course she will, Jim, Uhura isn't going out that easy. And since when did she let you call her Nyota?"

"A few days ago, it's kind of a long story I'm not willing to go into."

"Okay, well I have paperwork needing my signature. You gonna stay here?" Jim nods and makes himself comfortable in a chair next to the biobed.

Hours later James still sits next to his Lieutenant, holding her warm hand in his. James finds a bearable position to sleep in and whispers a goodnight to Nyota.

The next morning Jim gets breakfast and comes back to Nyota's room, the Medical Bay growing use to his constant presence. Jim reads romance novels to her, hearing that Nicholas Sparks was her favorite.

The Notebook was the first book he started with her. After each day Jim would tell her how beautiful she looked, how he hoped she would get better soon, and how much he missed talking to her, seeing her glare or roll her eyes whenever he was being ridiculous. Then in a bid goodnight he would brush a lock of hair behind her ear and kiss her lips and forehead.

As Nyota got better the attention slowly shifted from her to the Captain. He was not getting enough sleep and Bones desperately urged to leave Nyota's side for his own comfortable bed in his own quarters; reminding him that he wasn't the one checked into Medical Bay.

After a week Jim finally took his friend's advice and went back for his shift on the bridge. The Captain was making his way to the bridge when Bones stopped him.

"Jim, Jim stop! I'm tryin' to talk to you, you bastard!" Jim laughed lightly at his friend's usual stubborn country drawl.

"What?"

"It's Uhura; she woke up after you kissed her."

"Good! That's good, right? Is there something else?"

"Yeah… I told her that she was placed on immediate shore leave and, well…she requested that you accompany her."

James stifled a shocked gasp and raises his eyebrows in question. "What?"

"I'm not buttering your biscuits here, she asked that you accompany her."

"But why, did she ask for me of all people, to join her?"

"I don't know, she wouldn't say. You have to talk to her yourself to find out."

"Fine, I will." Jim marches past his CMO towards Medical Bay, reaching Nyota's room. She's propped up against some pillows, reading The Notebook when she looks up at him and smiles warmly.

Jim forgets about what he came to talk about and smiles at her, rushing over to give her a tight hug. "Hey, I missed that smile."

Nyota laughs and holds up the book. "Did you read this to me while I was in a coma? Leonard and Christine said you did. They thought it was so adorable and sweet of you to do that."

Jim turns sheepish and rubs the back of his head, a blush creeping into his cheeks. "Yeah…I heard Nicholas Sparks was your favorite."

"Yeah, you heard right."

"So how are you feeling?"

"Better. Thanks for being here for me."

"I never left your side."

"Really? Did you sleep in here?"

Jim nods and laughs at how stupid it was. He finally remembers why he came here in the first place. "So Bones told me that you requested me on shore leave."

"I did."

"But…why?"

"Because no one is able to comfort me like you do. And God knows I need comforting in a time like this. You seem like a strong person to depend on, I just need you to be my rock. Can you do that for me…please?" Jim shakes his head and shrugs.

"You know I can't really say no to you."

"Great."

"So where are we going?"

"My parents lived in Africa."

"Africa? We're going to Africa?"

Nyota laughs and playfully rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you've been to uncharted planets before and yet freak out at going to a continent."

"I'm in, let's do it."

"Thank you." Jim waves a hand with an easy smile. "No problem. I'll do anything to get my friend back." Nyota smiles and opens her arms to him, Kirk easily hugging her tightly.

They pull away and Nyota can't fight the urge to return all the kisses he gave her. She presses her lips to his carefully, testing the waters before he beings to eagerly kiss back. Jim licks her lower lip, asking for access before their tongues collide in a dance. They break apart for air and Jim rests his forehead against hers.

"Yeah, I'm still not really sure about this."

"Will figure it out."

"Oh, I'm sure we will." Nyota giggles at him, kissing him again.

Later on that day Scotty beams both of them down to the coordinates Nyota gave him. When the light fragments disappear Jim sees they're standing on the porch of a large house, a mansion really.

Nyota shrugs at his gaping expression. "My parents were important people. Come on, I'll show you around."

TBC