Author: 'Ello innocent readers! Yuri here to clear a couple of things up before we start:
1) Of course, I have to do a disclaimer (frankly these things tend to piss me off but I'll do it for Hiromu) I do not own FMA (duh, if I did-everyone would be gay! 3)
2) Terribly sorry, but the first chapter is short (haha-Edo…) and boring, until the end that is :) so keep reading and sorry for all the ranting/emoing (it's my first fanfic, what do you expect!)
3) I REALLY want reviews! Not flames-but tell me what's good, bad, what I should do more of, etc.
4) In this fanfic, Ed and Al both have their bodies back (last time I check it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to have sex with a suit of armor dimwits), there is no such thing as alchemy, and this takes place in our world so no homunculi powers [unfortunately and there's modern technology and all that good stuff.
5) Finally, THE YAOI WILL COME! I promise I will get them smutin' and lemonying, just have patience okay? So have fun and here we go…
A Light in the Dark
Edward collapsed onto his small generic bed, breathing a sigh of relief after his taxing day of tests and rivalries. He starred vacantly up at the pallid ceiling that seemed to loom above his detached form.
Had life always been so boring?
Had he always drifted through life with the same routines and the same friends? Why had this never dawned on him before? Was his life really this distant from everybody else's'? Why had he never decorated his dorm room before? Had it never dawned on him that his room was so stark and lifeless it was actually depressing?
Ed sighed, depression was not something he wanted to be dealing with at the moment; and besides, he needed a shower after such a grueling day of P.E. He rose from his distress-prompting bed, sliding his thick onyx belt out of the loops it inhabited in his close-fitting black jeans. Pulling the hair-band out of his honey-colored braid, he made his way to his bathroom, his long silken hair flowing out behind him as he walked.
He closed the sliding door behind him and turned to face the mirror. Empty amber eyes stared vacantly back at him. He had always been head of his class, he had always been surrounded by friends, he had always been happy. But ever since Winry had left, he had just drifted. He hadn't really been able to appreciate anything; though his friends had never seemed to notice.
Winry had been gone for almost two years now, and he still couldn't get over it. She would still call every Saturday and make sure he and his brother Alphonse weren't getting into any trouble, and every time Alphonse would leap on the phone and begin to gush to Winry about the weeks events. And then after Alphonse had thoroughly debriefed Winry on every painstaking detail of the past few days, he would hand Ed the phone, and then came the grief.
Of course he wouldn't let it show-he never let his true emotions show-instead he would cheerfully ask about how her week had gone and occasionally tease her about embarrassing secrets he had learned over their many years of friendship. But that was the part that would always get him; their friendship.
He had always been told-by Al, by Roy, even by Winry herself-that the charming blonde was madly in love with him; and he knew it! The way she always smiled at him with such radiance, the way she giggled and joked about how 'cute' and 'funny' he was, everything she did was practically screaming that she loved him and never wanted to leave his side. But that was it, she loved him, and he should love her…but he didn't.
For some insanereason, Edward Elric didn't love Winry Rockabell.
That is what killed him. She loved him so much, and everyone loved them so much, but he just couldn't do it. He had asked himself the same nagging, biting, excruciating question every night for the past two years-why didn't he love her? She was perfect, especially for him. They had known each other ever since they could talk and Winry was honestly the best friend Ed had ever had, besides his brother of course, but he still didn't even like her that way. She was just his friend, nothing else…
He clasped the edge of the colorless sink, his knuckles burning white from the intense pressure he was exerting.
What was wrong with him?! Why, WHY?! Every girl he had ever met, every girl that had ever confessed her love to him, every girl was never good enough. Why had he never liked a single one of his many adoring class mates? All the beautiful, exotic, unique women that lusted after him so passionately-none of them had ever even interested him. No girl-including the dazzling Rockabell-was ever good enough…no girl.
Ed screwed up his infuriated eyes, that voice-that goddamn voice-was back to taunt him. Two years of after the realization that he had never liked a girl over his seventeen years of life, he had begun to wonder the inevitable. Did the elusive answer to all his questions have anything to do with homosexuality? Was the fact really that he had never liked a girl because he preferred his own gender? His own brother after all was gay after all, so it wouldn't be too surprising he was gay himself…but no-Edward wouldn't and couldn't accept that.
Even if he was gay, wouldn't he have known that by now? Wouldn't he have realized something was up when he stared for a bit too long at the gay porno pop-ups? But he had never done anything like that; never stared at another boy, never gone to any "controversial" websites, nothing.
He wrenched his strained eyes open, breathing again after what had seemed like hours. He refused to continue thinking about the agonizing topic. He straightened, ripping off his loose black tank-top and almost succeeding in tearing the said garment in two.
He quickly stripped off the rest of his clothing, trying desperately not to think of the previous subject. Turning the water on to a scorching level, Ed stepped inside the cramped shower, flinching as the boiling water seared his sun-kissed skin. If he couldn't avoid the question with sheer will-than he would do it with a more distracting power.
After thoroughly cleansing his body and mind, he stepped out of the minute shower, grabbing a near-by towel and toweling his flaxen hair dry. Still drying his hair, Ed stepped out of the bathroom too find quiet the surprise waiting for him on his bed.
"Wow, looks like chibi-chan isn't so small after all…" smirked and emerald-haired teen as he starred directly at Edward's "nether-regions".
"ENVY?!!!"