What Tranquillized Men Speak
Title: What Tranquillized Men Speak
Summary: Stop me if you've heard this one before. After getting her hands on the tranquillizer gun again, Izzy accidentally shoots Duncan! Under the influence of the dart Duncan starts randomly spitting out what he really thinks of the others. Some roll their eyes; others are pissed, while others...are flattered.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Pairings: Main: Duncan/LeShawna, Side: Harold/Bridgette, Izzy/Ezekiel, Mentioned: Gwen/Trent, Courtney/Geoff
Warnings: Duncan is out of character in this one. You'd be too if you got nailed with a tranquillizer dart. It's all in the name of comedy people!
Winter-Rae: This one is set at Playa Des Losers after Duncan is voted off. Also, just so no one is confused I changed the final ten to suit this oneshot. They are: Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, LeShawna, Izzy, Ezekiel, Bridgette, Harold, and Trent. Enjoy!
What Tranquillized Men Speak
"Who do you think is gonna be voted off tonight eh?" Ezekiel asked LeShawna. The group of 18 campers were sitting in the lounge area of the resort. They were watching the marshmallow ceremony on a huge flat screen television, waiting to find out who would be joining them that evening.
"As long as it's Heather I don't care," the plus sized sister replied.
"I don't think it will be her," Courtney pointed out; "Chef's been trying to get rid of Duncan ever since the boot camp challenge. I hope the delinquent gets the boot, I know it was him who got me voted off."
Ezekiel and LeShawna exchanged glances. The C.I.T. had only been half right. Duncan had actually been involved in an alliance that had come into effect after the teams were disbanded. An alliance which consisted of the punk, LeShawna, Harold, Izzy and Ezekiel. The only reason they had targeted Courtney that week was because she had been helping Heather in trying to break up Gwen and Trent. Since LeShawna was Gwen's best friend she had asked her alliance to help her out and they did.
LeShawna could only imagine how pissed Courtney would be if she found out about the five person alliance. Not that it really mattered much anyway. Duncan was the last person apart of their alliance, all of the others had been voted off during the last few challenges.
"Don't be hatin' girl," LeShawna said to her, "He was just playing the game."
"Figures you'd stand up for him."
"What's that supposed to mean?" LeShawna snapped. She and Courtney were on their feet glaring at one another. Bridgette grabbed Courtney to hold her back while Ezekiel and Harold grabbed LeShawna.
"One would have to be dense not to see something was going on between the two of you!" the C.I.T. snapped, "I saw him sneak into your trailer after you won it."
LeShawna stopped struggling and then noticed everyone was looking at her.
"Nothing happened!" she said quickly, "He snuck in there to steal some food, so what?"
"And stealing food takes all night does it?"
"I don't know what you're hinting at crazy in training but you better watch your mouth!"
"Don't call me crazy!"
"Ladies!" Cody said, stepping between them, "Calm down."
"Shut up!" the two snapped, making him jump and scamper away.
"They're telling us who got kicked off now," Noah spoke up, "Calm your female hormones."
Courtney and LeShawna continued to glare at one another even after they sat down. They watched the television and watched as Chef kicked Duncan off. Courtney cheered while LeShawna's face fell.
"Well," the C.I.T said, "I hate to say I told you so but..."
"It is so important to your future that you do not finish that sentence," LeShawna snapped, "I'm going to bed."
After she left Ezekiel got up to leave with Izzy trailing after him.
"Where is Zeke going?" she asked.
"To greet Duncan," he replied, "He must be bummed he got kicked off eh."
Izzy giggled.
"Maybe, but I think he's just going to be happy to see LeShawna."
"What do you mean?"
Izzy ruffled his hair.
"Silly Zeke, there is obvious attraction between them, didn't you see how much they fought while in the alliance?"
"I thought that was because they couldn't agree on anything eh?"
"No, no, they like each other, just you wait, he'll ask us where she is."
Duncan looked up as a dock came into view. He saw Ezekiel and Izzy standing on it waving to him. He rolled his eyes and then glared at Chef.
"Good riddance," he said, "I won't have to deal with you anymore."
"Off my boat maggot," Chef said, trying to kick him. Duncan avoided the kick.
"Hey Duncan," Ezekiel greeted, "How are you eh?"
The punk arched his eyebrow as he threw his bag onto the dock. Then he jumped off of the boat and withheld his urge to flip Chef the birdie.
"Crappy," he replied, "What are you two doing here?"
"Greeting you," Izzy replied, "Aloha, I'd give you a lei but I'll leave that to LeShawna."
The red head started to giggle while Ezekiel rolled his eyes. Duncan frowned.
"Where is she anyway?"
Izzy nudged Ezekiel.
"See, I told ya!"
"She went to bed," the prairie boy replied, "Anyway; we came to show you around the resort."
"Resort?"
Ezekiel nodded.
"This whole place is great eh," he said, "Lots to do too. There's a pool, a spa and actual edible food to eat."
Duncan liked the idea of this place more and more.
"Sounds good, let's go then."
"I'll take your bag," Ezekiel offered as he bent down to grab the bag.
"No I got it," the punk said, "Just show me to my room so I can go to bed too."
"Awww is Mr. Punk upset he let our alliance down?" Izzy teased.
"No, I'm just tired of dealing with the most flatulent person on earth, a psycho queen bee and a goth who is more cynical than Noah!"
The following afternoon Bridgette was sitting with Harold in the hot tub. Courtney was dangling her legs in it while flipping through a magazine.
"Can you two stop that please?" she asked. The surfer girl and the nerd broke apart.
"Stop what?"
"The ridiculous sounds you make while making out."
"It's a little thing called passion Courtney," Harold retorted, "Not that you'd know."
"I know all about passion," she replied, "I'm a very passionate person."
"BOO!" Izzy screamed. Coming out of nowhere and making Courtney jump and fall into the hot tub. She surfaced, spluttering and glaring at the red head who was cackling.
"Izzy strikes again!" she said pumping her fists in the air. As she did this the other three noticed something tucked in her swimsuit wrap near her hip.
"Izzy, what do you have there?" Harold asked. Izzy grabbed the item and quickly hid it behind her back.
"Nothing," she replied innocently.
"Is that the tranquillizer gun from the island?" Courtney asked, "You shouldn't have that!"
"It's mine anyway," Izzy said, "I took it from the safe Chris tried to lock it in. I'm trained with these things I know how to handle them."
She then accidentally pulled the trigger and hit a flying by eagle which landed in the pool.
"Oops," she said, "That's gonna lower my fan base."
"Give me that thing!" Courtney said as she tried to grab it away from Izzy. The red head tried to hold it away from Courtney but the C.I.T. was pretty persistent. She grabbed the tranquillizer gun and they started to wrestle over it.
"Guys, be careful where you point that thing!" Harold said as he and Bridgette ducked. The two girls were spinning and yelling at each other over who was going to get the gun when it went off.
"Hey! Watch it eh!"
They turned to see Ezekiel try and pull his toque away from the tree which it had been pinned to by the dart.
"Zeke!" Izzy said excitedly, "Help me! Miss Meanie C.I.T. is trying to take my toy away from me! Hey that rhymed."
"It's not a toy!" Courtney scolded as she lunged for the item again. Another fight ensued.
Duncan had taken to looking around the resort, hoping to run into LeShawna at some point in time. He had seen her at breakfast but was unable to talk to her as she had ignored him and left.
'What's her problem anyway?' he wondered. He wandered past the pool and when he heard shouting coming from the hot tub he turned towards it. Izzy and Courtney were fighting over something that was pointed right at him.
"Give it!" Courtney insisted.
"No!"
BANG
"Ow, damn it!"
"Oops."
The two girls turned to see Duncan yank a dart out of his arm.
"Oops," Izzy said again. Courtney smacked her forehead. Ezekiel sighed while Harold and Bridgette quickly got out of the hot tub. The punk certainly didn't look well anymore.
"Oh man," he moaned, putting his hand on his head, "What was in that thing?"
Izzy giggled.
"Oh a little of this and a little of that," she said scratching her head with the barrel of the tranquillizer gun
"Izzy!" Ezekiel exclaimed as Duncan wobbled in place, threatening to fall over. The prairie boy grabbed one of Duncan's arms and wrapped it around his shoulders.
"What's the matter with him?" Courtney asked.
"He'll be a little loopy for a few hours," Izzy said waving it off, "There wasn't enough to knock anyone out. At least I don't think there was."
"Izzy!" Ezekiel said again, sounding exasperated with her.
"What!" she said throwing her arms up, "I'm not an expert in pharmaceuticals you know? Is that what you think I am?"
"No, I think you're a nut job who goes around scaring people for no good reason and who has a freakishly huge crush on Ezekiel."
Izzy arched an eyebrow at Duncan's slurred description of her. She then burst out laughing. Ezekiel looked terrified at the possibility that Duncan could pass out any second.
"Truth serum!" the red head said clapping her hands and looking at her tranquillizer gun, "Maybe I'm better at this mixing stuff than I thought. Oh this is gonna be fun!"
"Oh no it's not eh," Ezekiel said, "He's going to his room and going to bed!"
"Good idea Ezekiel," Courtney said.
Izzy pouted.
"Oh come on you guys," she said, "Hey Duncan what do you think of Ezekiel?"
The punk, who looked like he was half asleep, responded lazily.
"He's alright, needs a girlfriend though."
Izzy was excited at the possibilities this could produce. Ezekiel however was just trying to make sure that Duncan didn't do a face plant on the ground.
"Help me with him will you?" he asked.
"Sure thing," Izzy chirped as she took Duncan's other arm, "You realize that in order to get to the rooms we have to walk by everyone who might be in the courtyard?"
"Crap," Ezekiel moaned, "Maybe if people don't talk to him he'll be quiet."
"Not likely!" Izzy sang out. Ezekiel groaned.
"This is all your fault," Courtney said, "Why would you want to mix truth serum anyway?"
"To find out who has a crush on whom obviously!" Izzy replied.
"Geoff's got a thing for Courtney," Duncan blurted out, he then gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth, "Oh he's gonna be so mad at me!"
Izzy saw Courtney blush.
"Oohh Courtney likes Geoff too doesn't she?"
"Guy's maybe we should just get him to bed," Bridgette suggested.
"Bridgette!" Duncan gasped, releasing himself from Izzy and Ezekiel's grasp so he could hug the surfer girl. While Izzy giggled the other four look really freaked out.
"I am so sorry I made the others vote you off!" the punk said, "I always thought you were awesome!"
"Um thanks Duncan," Bridgette said patting his back, "I forgive you."
"Really?" he asked.
"Sure."
"Yay!"
He hugged her again and then when he saw Harold he released the surfer girl and hugged him.
"Dude, I'm sorry I teased you on the island, no hard feelings right? I think it's cool you and Bridgette are dating."
"Whatever you say Duncan," the nerd replied.
"Duncan, let's get you to your room okay," Courtney suggested. The punk looked at her.
"You," he said pointing to her and teetering on his feet, "Need to lighten up. And! Wait, I forget."
"Hey Duncan," Izzy said, "how was Heather while you were in an alliance with her?"
"I don't like her," Duncan replied while yawning, "She's a meanie."
"A meanie?" Bridgette said, trying to hold back a laugh, "Guys he has to go and sleep this off."
"Awww," Izzy complained, "You ruin all my fun!"
"I'm holding onto this for now eh," Ezekiel said as he grabbed the gun away from her. Izzy grinned and wrapped her arms around him.
"I love a man who takes control."
"Oh crap," Harold said, "Here comes Geoff and DJ."
Sure enough, to add to the troubles they were already having with Duncan, his two friends were coming over to greet him.
"Wait a minute, where did he go?" Bridgette asked. They looked around and sure enough Duncan was gone.
"Oh great," Ezekiel said shaking his head, "How do you lose a doped up criminal?"
"It's pretty easy actually," Izzy replied, "One time..."
"Not now!" Courtney said, "We have to find him."
"Find who?" Geoff asked. He and DJ had finally made it to the small group.
"Wasn't Duncan just with you?" DJ asked.
"We lost him," Harold replied.
"Is that bad?" DJ asked, "He's probably gone to find some of the others."
"Oh crap," Ezekiel said, "What if he runs into Eva."
"Why does that matter?" Geoff asked.
"Izzy shot him with a tranquillizer and now for some weird reason he's telling everyone the truth on what he thinks about them," Courtney explained blushing as she remembered what Duncan had told her about Geoff, "You tell me if it matters."
The brickhouse and the party boy exchanged fearful looks.
"Dude, never mind Eva what if he runs into LeShawna!" Geoff said. Courtney looked slightly confused.
"You're right," Harold said, "He already almost spilled the beans about our alliance."
"What alliance?" Courtney asked. Harold winced and Bridgette smacked her forehead.
"Nice one sweetie."
"Sorry babe."
"Can we talk about bad alliances later?" Ezekiel asked before Courtney could ask any more, "We have to find him eh."
So the group split up in order to find their oddly acting friend. Who at this moment was running around the resort with just his boxers on.
"Wheeee!" he sang out, running past Noah and Justin. Noah, who had been reading, looked up from his book with a confused look on his face.
"Did you just..." he began.
"Yes," Justin replied, "I just wish I didn't."
"Okay, just checking."
Beth was teaching Katie and Sadie how to make friendship bracelets when Duncan approached them.
"Did your clothes annoy you?" Beth asked him. Duncan threw an arm around her shoulder.
"Yes!" he replied, "My shirt said my piercings were funny looking and my pants were laughing at me! Don't even get me started on my socks and shoes, gossipy bastards!"
"Duncan, are you okay?" Katie asked.
"No, I was shot, I'm hungry."
"There is sthome food over there," Beth said pointing to the buffet. Duncan smiled.
"I like how you talk Beth," he said, "It's cute."
"Umm thank you?"
The punk left the three girls who were sure if they should laugh or be afraid.
"Did you guys see Duncan?" DJ asked Justin and Noah.
"Guy was running around in his boxers," Justin replied, "He went that way."
"Thanks."
As DJ took off Justin decided to follow him.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Izzy's what's going on," he replied, "Shot Duncan with a tranquillizer gun and now he's acting all weird."
Justin laughed.
"Sounds like fun."
"Not really man."
They found Duncan soon after. He was up the flag pole with Geoff trying to coax him down.
"Come on Duncan," he called up, "Get down from there."
"You're mad at me!" the punk insisted, "I know you are! I didn't mean to tell her! I swear!"
"I'm not mad at you man," Geoff said, "It's cool that Courtney knows I dig her."
"Hi DJ!" Duncan called out waving to the gentle giant. DJ and Justin stood with Geoff.
"I can't get him down," Geoff said, "I'm worried he'll fall."
"Where are the others?" DJ asked. The party boy shrugged.
"All over the place trying to find his drugged up butt. Actually last I saw Harold and Bridgette got 'distracted' same with Ezekiel and Izzy. Courtney decided to check the bedrooms when I came here."
"Duncan!" Justin called up, "Come on down man."
"I never liked you," Duncan said to the male model, "You might be pretty but I know you're up to something. You can't fool me with those big blue eyes and perfect hair and...yeah!"
"Wow, he sure told me," Justin said sarcastically.
"Duncan, you're gonna fall, get down here man," Geoff said.
"You guys, are my best friends," Duncan called down dramatically to Geoff and DJ, "I'm not even lying to you! Seriously, the best friends a guy could ever have."
"Sure thing buddy," Geoff said. Justin was laughing now.
"Oh wow, bromance," he said, "Nothing more wonderful."
"Not funny man," DJ said, "Duncan's a little messed up right now."
Duncan started to giggle uncontrollably.
"Bromance," he said, "That's a funny word."
DJ smacked his forehead. He then looked around to see if there was anything they could use to coax Duncan down. He grinned when he saw LeShawna leave the resort front doors.
"LeShawna!" he called out, "Can you come here for a minute?"
"What's up?" she asked him.
"ME!" Duncan sang out waving from the top of the flag pole. LeShawna gasped.
"What's naked white boy doing up there?" she asked.
"Izzy shot him with a tranquillizer gun," DJ explained, "We've been chasing after him all afternoon."
"Hi Shawnie!" Duncan called. She approached the flag pole.
"You get your butt down here right now!" she demanded.
"No!"
"What!"
"No, say please!"
He swayed on the pole, making her heart leap into her throat. If he fell he could seriously hurt himself.
"Please!" she pleaded, "You're gonna get hurt! Come down, you're scarring me!"
Duncan's glazed over blue eyes widened.
"Coming Shawnie!"
He slid down the pole like a fireman and then ran to her. The plus sized sister was taken aback by his calling her by her nickname that only her friends back home did. What surprised her even more was when he hugged her around the waist and nuzzled her cheek.
"Mmm, I missed you Shawnie," he said. LeShawna wasn't sure what to say to him. She was just relieved he was down on the ground where he belonged.
"Umm, I missed you too Baby Boy."
"I love it when you call me that."
"Okay, white boy here is trippin'," she said. Justin walked over to her.
"At least you got him down though."
Duncan glared at him and growled.
"My Shawnie!" he said, "You can't have her!"
Justin rolled his eyes.
"Possessive little guy isn't he?"
"Baby Boy loves Shawnie," Duncan said. LeShawna was shocked.
"Jeez, boy's talkin' crazy," she said, she took Duncan's hand, "Come on boy, time for you to go and sleep it off."
As she towed the punk away Geoff looked at DJ.
"Dude, did he say that he loved her?"
"Uh, yeah, he did," DJ replied, "And didn't Izzy say he's been..."
"No way!" the two said in unison.
"Here's your room," LeShawna said after she located the room Duncan had been assigned. He'd be sharing one with Harold like she was with Bridgette.
"Crazy kids aren't gonna be getting much alone time now," she muttered.
"Shawnie," Duncan called out, "Tuck me in please!"
LeShawna rolled her eyes but thought it best to humour him for now. As she leant over to tuck him in he stole a quick kiss.
"What was that about?" she demanded. Duncan looked crestfallen, so much so that she actually felt bad for yelling.
"Crazy white boy," she muttered as she ruffled his hair and smiled, "See you later."
"Love you Shawnie!"
"Yeah, yeah, love you too Baby Boy."
Once she closed his door her fingers trailed across her lips. The punk wasn't a bad kisser.
A few hours later Duncan woke up and went in search of LeShawna. She was sitting in the lounge area on one of the chairs. He smirked and sat in the chair next to her.
"What are you so happy about?" she asked, "I would have thought that you'd be avoiding everyone after what happened today."
Duncan shrugged.
"Don't remember a thing," he said, "I have a bit of a headache but that's about it."
"Lucky for you then," she said, "I have to admit it was pretty cute to see you running around in just your boxer shorts."
"I knew you wanted me."
"I never said that," she pointed out.
"You didn't deny it either, Shawnie."
"Don't call me that, only my friends do."
"What am I then?" he asked her, taking her hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. She squeezed it and then released it.
"Someone I was in an alliance with."
He frowned.
"You mad at me or something?"
"You might have the privilege to forget what you said to me and the others but I don't."
Duncan bit his lip.
"Did I insult you?"
Leshawna got to her feet and walked away. He shot up and quickly followed her.
"Hey," he said, grabbing her hand, "Answer me."
"You said you loved me!" LeShawna snapped, "Not only that but you said you missed me and even kissed me! What's up with that? When we formed our alliance on the island you said it was strictly to get rid of our competition. We weren't friends and never would be, forget about becoming anything more than that."
"I know I said that," he said, "Maybe I didn't mean it. And didn't you say that you loved me back?"
LeShawna looked at him. He had his usual smirk on. As she realized what he meant, she slapped her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened.
"B-but you just said," she stammered. He could tell she was embarrassed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
"Like I was going to give up an easy way to tell you how I felt," he said, "Pretending I was still loopy from whatever was in that dart made it a lot easier."
"You jerk!" she said, though she didn't really mean it.
"You hate me?" he asked.
"No, you already know that," she said, "When did you start being of sound mind?"
"Just after I climbed the pole," he replied, "Seeing you worried about me was pretty cute."
She pinched his arm.
"Ow!" he pulled away from her and rubbed the spot. LeShawna smiled at him and then kissed his cheek.
"I think I started loving you the moment you swiped that coffee mug," she told him, "Very smooth."
Duncan snickered.
"I started falling for you when you threw Heather off that cliff."
LeShawna arched an eyebrow.
"That was the first day."
"I know."
"You better not be lying to me," she said, "I might have to get Izzy to stick you with another one of those things if you are."
"Relax babe," he said, "I think you could make an honest man out of me."
The two of them smiled at each other and were about to lean in to kiss when a screech broke out. They looked up to see Ezekiel chasing after Izzy who still had the tranquillizer gun in her hands.
"You'll never catch me Zeke!"
"Get back here eh!"
Winter-Rae: Oh that was fun. I'm sure people would have liked more on the other couples, sorry. Maybe next time though eh? Thanks for reading everyone! Cheers!