Disclaimer: I have no right to the characters.
A/N: I've written quite a bit for SVU and CSI, so this is a bit beyond my usual comfort zone. I grew a little weary of all the stories that have Maura suddenly confessing her love for Jane after Casey's proposal and thought since I was being so critical of others, I should put my money where my criticisms are. Here goes...
There, standing on the stoop outside her home, was the woman who had occupied what seemed like every waking thought for the last two years. A flood of memories penetrated her. In the split second it took for the question to form and for her to ask it, her senses were overloaded with memories. The two of them jogging. The two of them standing over a dead body. The two of them at the Dirty Robber. The smell of her after that jog. The way she looked when she her hair was still dripping and her skin was water-kissed from a shower. The throaty sultriness of her voice after a few drinks. The feel of her soft skin as they cuddled, as all best friends do, on the couch. The way her body felt when it was tightly pressed against her own in an embrace.
One long look at the blonde before her and the self-assured grin Jane wore quickly faded. She straightened herself, no longer leaning against one of the posts on the porch. Her hands found her pockets and dug deep in them. This was not the look she thought she would receive when she knocked on the door. Her shoulders slouched and her eyes dropped as she shifted her weight nervously from one foot to the other.
The shock of having Jane show up at her home after nearly two years was overwhelming Maura Isles. She was trying to take it all in and tamp it down, but the hurt and disappointment she'd bottled up for two years (748 days to be exact) escaped her before she'd been able to reign it in.
"What are you doing here?"
She hadn't expected her voice to be laced with as much venom and vitriol as she heard when she spoke. It was there though and it cut through Jane easily. Maura saw Jane's mask of bravado slip even further.
Maura studied Jane, waiting for an answer. The air hung thick with loss, betrayal, and missed opportunities. Maura spoke again, breaking the silence. Letting a smile relax her features, she reached out and threaded her fingers through Jane's hair. "You cut your hair? Angela is going to have a myocardial infarction."
Jane's hand absently went up and touched her hair as well. "It was time for a change."
Maura pulled her robe tighter around her and glanced back over her shoulder before looking back at Jane and tilting her head to study her more. "You purchase a new purse or add an expensive tailored blazer to your wardrobe when you want a change." She paused and locked eyes with Jane. "You don't chop off your hair. I suppose you've modified your body in other ways as well seeking your desired change."
Jane frowned and straightened herself, sighing heavily. "A lot has changed, Maur."
Maura turned and pulled the door shut behind her before slipping her arms under Jane's leather jacket and around her waist. She inhaled deeply. It was not lost on her how differently Jane smelled or that she no longer felt like the Jane from her memory. "I haven't seen you in two years. I haven't spoken to you in, what, more than ten months? Jane, why are you here?" Maura heard heavy footsteps falling on the stairs from within the house and pulled back from Jane. She wanted answers, but they'd have to wait.
"I want to know everything that's happened in the last two year, but not now." She stepped backwards, opening the door and slipping back inside. "My number hasn't changed. Call me later. We'll have dinner and catch up."
Maura pushed the door shut just as a voice called her name from deep within the house. Jane's face scrunched up in curiosity, or was it in panged recognition? No, she thought to herself, it can't be.
Jane stepped toward the door and raised her fist to knock. Then, through the glass, she saw him and her heart immediately sank and a fire simultaneously erupted within her. She stood watching for a moment as Maura approached him, pushing herself onto her tiptoes and brushing a kiss against his cheek.
Jane turned her back, steeled her nerves, and walked away.
She had already found a booth and was on her third beer when Maura sat down opposite her, a nervous smile plastered across her face.
Jane took another swallow from her beer and sat her empty bottle down on the table between them with one hand and waved the waitress down with the other.
"Are you still a red wine gal or have your tastes evolved, too?" Jane asked pointedly.
Before Maura could offer a response, the waitress was beside them. "I'll have another of these," Jane picked up an empty bottle and tilted it toward the waitress with a smirk. "And she'll have -"
Jane was cut off by the waitress, "The usual, Maura?"
Maura merely nodded before turning back to Jane. "I frequent this establishment," she smiled softly at Jane, "which is why I thought you might like it." She and Jane were each looking around the bar, avoiding eye contact. "It's not the Dirty Robber, but it's comfortable."
"A Jack and Coke for you," the waitress sat the drink down in front of Maura, "And a Blue Moon for you."
Jane's hands immediately folded around the beer bottle and that's exactly where Maura's eyes fell.
"Jane," she paused, "where's your wedding band?"
For her part, Jane drew her hands back and into her lap, but not before Maura noticed the flash of color on the inside of her wrist. "And what was that? Jane, do you have a tattoo?"
The brunette sighed heavily. A lot had changed for Jane. Only two years earlier she had left Boston to follow Casey to California after a quick elopement. Marriage had not been what she had hoped it would be. In fact, it turned out to be everything she had feared it would be.
She didn't want to dwell on what had happened in her life over the last two years. Instead, she wanted to focus on getting Maura to admit to what she had witnessed that morning.
"Let's play a little game, Maur." The huskiness that was always there when she spoke rushed over Maura in waves.
"What did you have in mind?" Maura nursed her drink slowly. The last thing she wanted to do was compromise her ability to think clearly when it came to Jane.
"I was thinking 'Never Have I Ever'. We take turns making a statement and we do a shot if we have, in fact, done what we say we have never done. Make sense?"
Maura thought for a moment, "So, I make a negative statement and if it should have been made in the affirmative, then I will drink. Correct?"
Jane nodded before chugging her beer down and sliding from the booth. A few minutes later, she turned with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses She sank back into the booth and filled both shot glasses before sliding one to Maura.
"I'll start," Jane took a deep breath. "Never have I ever...been in love."
Both women smiled, lifted their shot glasses, and threw them back. Jane winced and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
Maura clapped her hands with glee as Jane filled the glasses again. "My turn," she closed her eyes and thought for a moment. "Okay. Never have I ever been inked." She giggled as she used the colloquial expression she had learned on a television program she had once viewed for purely educational purposes.
Jane lifted her glass and signed as the tequila warmed its way down her throat. She put the glass down a little too heavily, the effects of the beers and succession of shots already being felt. She flinched when Maura's fingers touched her wrist. When they didn't leave her flesh she acquiesced and allowed Maura to pull her hand toward the center of the table. Although the lights were low, Maura could make out every single detail of the delicate tattoo. Her eyes moved up Jane's arm and to her face, where instead of looking into dark eyes, she found Jane's eyes closed and her face emotionless. She withdrew her fingers and cleared her throat, hoping to bring Jane's attention back to the present.
"I think I recognize-"
"Let's keep playing the game." Jane had cut her off. "It's my turn. And I have a good one. Never have I ever been arrested." She smirked as she watched the blonde lift the glass and tilt it back, the clear liquid cascading down her throat.
"That's not fair, Jane. You know I was wrongly accused," Maura pouted. Jane only shrugged the comment off.
"If that's how you want to play, fine! Never have I ever," Maura paused and thought quickly of something to sting Jane, "abandoned my best friend by not calling or emailing for almost a year."
Jane angrily took a shot before quickly firing back. "There was a lot going on, Maur. Things I didn't understand and things I couldn't-still can't-talk about." She looked off in the distance trying to keep her anger at bay. Her voice softened, the edge now gone. "Don't you think I missed you? Don't you think I thought about you every day and wondered what was going on in your life-if you were happy-if you had found..." Jane's voice trailed off as Maura's gaze dropped to her full shot glass. Her mind drifted to earlier that morning.
To the voice that was still echoing in her head. To the sight of Maura kissing him. Him. HIM. The edge was back again and her blood boiled.
"Never have I ever," she thought about what she was about to say and how it would impact what was left of their friendship, "fucked my best friend's brother."