Author: Regency
Title: joys & hurts
Pairing: Bernie Wolfe/Serena Campbell
Warnings: references to canon character death
Summary: In the days to come, Serena and Bernie get by, together.
Author's Note: Come squee with me about Berena on Tumblr at sententiousandbellicose.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters recognizable as being from Holby City. They are the property of their actors, producers, writers, and studios, not me. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story. It was good, clean fun.
Bernie asks if Serena is all right because Bernie's default mode has become Serena-keeping. Serena lies because she wants that to change, it has to change. For both of their sakes.
"Fine," she says instead of, "Not quite yet, no." She changes out of her scrubs back into her personal clothes and makes to put herself together. She is still getting used to seeing a thinner, greyer reflection in the mirror, but she can't deny she looks well. Grief has taken its toll, though if you ask the right people they'd say it hasn't stolen anything from her charms. Serena knows better. Still, she enjoys the admiring glances when they come.
Like the one Bernie erroneously believes Serena can't see from her in the mirror.
Bernie's stopped half-dressed in street clothes to watch Serena smooth the wrinkles from her blouse and brush her silvery coif down into some semblance of order. She looks at her like she can't quite believe Serena returned to her in one piece and so soon.
Her dark eyes have tracked Serena's every move since they entered theater together three hours ago. Since Serena walked back into Holby three days ago.
Eleven weeks is nothing really in the face of a lifetime of grief to come, but Serena had known almost at once that it was eleven weeks too long. Life is already passing her by at breakneck pace; she doesn't think she could bear to lose what's left of hers. So she gets accustomed to silence. Bites her tongue when her bitterly cruel alter ego rears its ugly head. Talks to her therapist. Sells her house. Has an amicable breakup from Shiraz. Makes many, many apologies. And finally gets on with it.
Work helps a little.
Jason helps more.
Bernie, unbeknownst to her, helps Serena heal the most just by being here to greet her. Every morning like clockwork, caffeine and pastry on her desk; every evening, a hand to hold and an ear to listen. Bernie is her safe place, not her crutch. Bernie is home. God, how Serena missed home when she was lost out there. It's good not to feel lost anymore.
"Home, then?" Bernie asks, having pulled her stripped top over her head and found her vest from this morning. Serena watches her don zippered boots as they each gather their belongings to depart. Shift done, their time begins.
"How about a walk? You can catch me up on Charlotte's latest ambitious academic endeavors and tell me just where on Earth Cameron's taken Morven off to."
Bernie helps Serena into her coat, lingering to flatten her lapels across her chest, and passes over her shoulder bag. "I'd love to."
This time when they step out of the locker room, before the eyes of a hospital that never quite stops looking for the next delicious morsel of gossip to spread, Serena openly takes Bernie's hand. Bernie's answering smile is a small private thing, but her eyes burn with it. They're going to survive, the two of them. They can survive anything.
They leave Holby deep in conversation, with eyes only for each other and nobody else. They'll talk all night.
Tonight, Serena isn't completely healed. She may never be, but she's home and for the first time in much too long, she's happier. She'll take that.