They were friends and nothing more, best friends really, but she could never tell him that she loved him. He was DEREK SHEPHERD! Most popular kid in school and also known as a heartbreaker. They had been friends since the 7th grade and she had never said a thing. She just stood by as he dated girl after girl, and pretended that those feelings were not real. She had almost asked so many times but never did and now they were graduating. They were all off to different parts of the country and would most likely never see each other again. Her chance was gone.

She walked down the isle to accept her diploma and looked at all of her friends sitting together in their little group. She smiled at Mark, then Addison, and finally locked eyes with Derek. She gave him a sort of half smile and he returned it with the look. The look that had made her fall so hard, the look that she would miss so much, the look that was just one of the reasons she loved him.

He watched her walk up to the stage and their eyes locked for just a second. She smiled at him with glimmering eyes and he couldn't help but grin. Those eyes, the way they sparkled when the light hit them, the way they changed shades almost all the time. Those were the eyes that had first drawn him in. But that was all he could have…she was MEREDITH GREY! The most popular girl in school and his best friend. He could never tell her. Partly because he was afraid of hurting her…or getting hurt by her. He would never be able to tell her that she was what he lived for.

The ceremony took forever but when it was finally over she went to find her friends. There was a group of them all huddled together on the side and she decided to head over to them. After a while of laughing and talking she looked up to see him coming towards her and she broke free to meet him half way.

"Hey," she said to him quietly as he approached.

"Hey." Was all he said back.

She couldn't help but blush because he was smiling at her in a way that made her knee's weak. The only thing was she knew he didn't mean it that way. She was just a friend.

"So, you're off to college to break more hearts with Mark now I guess…" she laughed.

"Yeah well I guess Mark's a little tied down with Addi right now, but I'm not." He paused. "You never told me where you're going."

"Uhh…Dartmouth. You guys are all off to N.Y.U. right?" she knew that's where they were going. Addi had told her tons of times. "Are you going to the party tonight?" she quickly changed the subject.

"Of course, when do we ever not go to parties. We leave right away in the morning though so I probably won't be drinking as much tequila as you." He said.

She smiled back at him and couldn't help it when a few stray tears broke free. "I'm going to miss you.

His heart broke when she did that kind of stuff. He was going to miss her too. She was more than a great friend to him and she didn't even know it. He cursed himself for being such a manwhore. Even Mark had managed to go steady with someone. He had had way too many opportunities too.

He reached out and wiped the tears from her face. "Hey, it's okay…this isn't goodbye…not yet." He pulled her into his arms and inhaled her strong lavender scent. He was going to miss a lot of things about her.

"Derek?"

"Yeah"

She didn't know if she should tell him…she wanted to so badly but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

She chickened out and only managed to stammer, "I, uhh, I have to go but I'll see you tonight okay.

"Um yeah, sure…"

That was it and he knew it. Another chance to tell her had completely slipped away and in about 12 hours his chance would be gone forever.

He'd been at the party for a couple of hours now and Mark had just left to go dance with Addi. He hadn't seen Meredith yet but he knew she was there. She would most likely be leaving soon so he decided he'd better find her now. This was it, he was going to give her a letter tonight and be gone by the next day. It was an act of cowardice but he couldn't stand to be rejected…not by her.

She was looking everywhere for him. Addison had just left to find Mark, and she figured this was as good a time as any. She was going to leave soon and needed to give him something before she left. A letter, it seemed so stupid now but that was the only way she could tell him. He would know at least…and he was leaving anyways. She Just couldn't be rejected…not by him.

He saw her over by the bar of course getting another shot.

"Hey." He said as casually as he could manage.

"Hi." She looked up at him and her breath caught in her throat. You could tell he was ripped, even if he was wearing his coat still. She could see countless girls drooling over him and she felt a shot of jealousy rip through her. Followed by a pang of remorse. She gave up her chances and she was about to blow the last one she might get. "Can we go out, outside for a minute? To talk."

"Umm, yeah."

"So I guess this is goodbye." She said when they stepped out onto the porch.

"Yeah, I guess it is…are you sure you aren't coming with us? College will be a lot better with friends." He tried.

"Can't, I have to follow in my mom's footsteps remember."

"Oh, well I got this for you." He pulled the note he had written for her out and gave it to her awkwardly. He was never awkward. He was Derek. She made him awkward.

She pulled out her own note and handed it too him. "Don't open it until you get on the plane tomorrow. Okay?"

"Fine, you can't open yours until I leave."

"I'm going to miss you." She said for the second time that day.

"Me too."

Derek's plane is just taking off and he decides to open the note

Dear Derek,

I really regret that I never told you this sooner but I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since the day we met and I just want to let you know that I will never stop loving you. You are what I live for and what makes my world spin and although I will never be able to tell you that in person just know that I wish with all my soul that I could. I hope you find someone that truly makes you happy and that you can spend the rest of your days with.

Love,

Meredith

P.S. Sorry that was so corny.

Meredith is sitting in her bed holding the letter in her hands and decides to open it.

Dear Meredith,

Yesterday at graduation I was going to say…what I wanted to say was…but now all I can say is that...I'm in love with you...I've been in love with you for, ever…I'm a little late, I know I'm a little late in telling you that…I just, I just want you to know…because I am in love with you. I hope your life is everything you hoped for and that you find someone who loves you.

Love,

Derek