I'm puttin up every Deranged Oo'WTF!? inducing Square RP or rant I've ever done. I'm posting them up in Chapters. Sorry guys but the Anthology will have to wait a little while.
Disclamer: I don't own Sqaure Enix/Soft or any game belonging to them. This is pure grade CRack!!
Idea: Kairi bought cheap porn because the actors reminded her of herself and Sora
Kairi: Put it all in the bag. Ooooh, yes Sora we shall be together, just like we always should have.
Kairir strokes sack filled with look alike porn mumbling 'My precious" in creepy Golum voice
Pornmaster: Oo' Uuuh, yeah sure, whatever.
Pornmaster's thoughts: (freak)
Pornmaster: Can I have my money now?
Kairi: You'll get your potatoes!
Pornmaster: Oo' Oookaay.
Kairi hands pornmaster something
Pornmaster: O.O WTF!! Hey lady I don't take dirty panties as a form of currency!
Kairi looks mystified
Kairi: You don't? Oo' When did this happen?
Pornmaster: Uuuuh no, we don't. In fact no one does. --
Kairi: OO But why?
Kairi slinks closer and Pornmaster backs away slowly
Pornmaster: Well there are a few reasons apart from them having no market value whatsoever. 1. There used, 2. There yours, and finally 3. You need to learn how to wipe! That is nasty!
Kari: Poot
Pornmaster: --
Kairi continues farting
Pornmaster: oo
and it keeps going
Pornmaster: OO
and going
Pornmaster: choking STOP!! PLEASE!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!
and going
Pornmaster: xx Dies
poot gurgle
Kairi: Aaaah, that felt great! Uh mister?
pokes Pornmaster with random stick from nowhere
Kairi: OH NOES!! HE IS DEAD!! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!! WHY!? WHY DOES EVERY THING I TOUCH DIE!!
(...Don't ask me where this came from. I'd rather not know. --) The idea came from a forum that I post at.