Guardian Angel

"Don't worry koibito. I'll be okay, I promise."

That was the last thing he said to me before… before it happened. Before I let him walk out the door. Before he ended up where he was. Everything that happened to him was my fault, no matter what he says to make me think other wise.

That night, all I could feel was guilt. I felt self-hate, anger, and even sorrow. All of those new feelings to me. I said that I would never let feelings get in my way. This is different. This was my best friend, my guardian, my protector, and most of all… the only one who held my heart.

When he went out that night, and never came back, I probably felt worse than Shiori did. I can't help but remember every last detail of what happened to him.

That night, he went out in Shiori's car. He left at ten o'clock at night to get something for me. I thought that it would only take him a few minutes or maybe and hour. When two and three hours past, I got worried. I was sitting in the living room with Shiori watching television and praying that Kurama would come back safe.

As we sat, the news came on with a breaking story. They said that a car had crashed into someone else. I was praying that it wasn't the same car he was in. They got as close as they could to the scene and I saw that it was the same car Kurama was in. I couldn't stay down there any longer. I ran upstairs into Kurama's room and sat on his bed. I tried to hold back my emotions, but that was working as well as holding back a waterfall with a sheet of paper.

Less then ten minutes later a call came to the house. Shiori picked up the phone. It was the hospital calling to report about Kurama. She came upstairs right after she hung up.

"Hiei-kun, that was the hospital. They said that Shuichi-kun is in there. He was badly injured. They told me that it might take him a while to recover, if he can recover that is." She began to cry.

"Don't cry. That kid is going to spring back in no time." I said hoping to get her to stop. "Look, tell you what. I'll go to the hospital and check him out. I'll see if he is looking well enough for you to come and see him. Okay?"

"Thank you so much Hiei-kun." She said hugging me. I hugged her back.

Five minutes later I left and went to the hospital. I had to sneak in because they wouldn't let me in the door. I found Kurama's room and I sat at the window. I couldn't even look in. When I saw him I began to cry. I had never cried in my life and all of a sudden I cried now.

I finally got up the courage to go in and see him up close. I walked over to the bed. Kurama looked like he was in a fight and lost. I looked at his almost lifeless body. I wanted so much as to kill myself right on the spot for letting this happen to him. We promised each other that we would always protect the other, and then I let this happen to him!

I walked closer to the bed and grabbed his hand. It was cold and not as soft as it normally was. His hair was not as shiny and soft like it was before. I never felt so bad about myself in my life.

"Look, kitsune no baka, you need to get better. Shiori needs you, your friends need you, most of all… I need you."

After I said that he grabbed my hand tighter. I began to smile a little bit. Then I heard something come from him.

"Why must you call me that?" he forced out.

"Because… it's like… like a pet name for you. One that's all my own." I said holding back tears.

"Well, can you get something new to call me?"

"No baka. I like what I call you now. So deal with it. Now shut up and get better so Shiori can stop crying over you."

"And so you can stop too?" he said forcing a smile with his last bit of energy.

"Yea… so I can stop too." I said smiling a little.

I leaned over and kissed his forehead and then left. When I got back to his house, Shiori had fallen asleep on the couch. I picked her up and took her into her room. I walked into Kurama's room and lied down on his bed. I was just thinking about how I failed as a guardian.

"I hate myself! How could I have let that happen to him! I have to protect him! Then I just up and let him go out by himself! How could I!" I rolled over and faced the wall, "Koibito, if you can hear me, if you don't make it out of this alive; then I'm going with you! I won't let you go alone!"

"No! If I go, you have to take care of Shiori!"

I shot up out of the bed and looked all around.

"Promise me that you won't hurt yourself if I die."

"Don't even say anything like that!"

"You said it first."

"I know. But I shouldn't have. So don't worry about who's going to take care of Shiori okay!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, you're not going to die. I know you better then that. You wouldn't give up a fight that easy. I know that you'll recover… Kurama."

"You called me by my name!"

"Yea and? Do I get a cookie or something?"

"No you get better."

Just then, I looked over and saw Kurama standing in the room. I was shocked, surprised, and happy all at once.

"I thought you were in the hospital?"

"I am. This is my spirit. I just wanted to talk to you tonight."

"I swear, kitsune no baka, go lay down."

"I am. With you."

Next thing I knew, he laid down behind me. I just looked at him. I couldn't help but notice everything about him, from the redness of his hair to that little twinkle in his emerald eyes. Every detail was perfect and how I longed to see that again. I just wanted to reach out and touch him, but I knew that if I did, I probably couldn't again. I just stared at him until the sun rose. And as the sun grew larger, his form faded more. I didn't want him to go because I didn't know if I would ever see him again.

When he finally disappeared, I began to cry. I didn't want to, but I did. When Shiori came in, I quickly wiped my face. She came in to let me know that breakfast was ready and I could eat. After I ate, I helped Shiori get the house clean and chores done. After that I left for Kurama. When I got there, he seemed a little better. He had a little more color to him then before. He wasn't so lifeless and limp. His hair was beginning to look like its normal self. And he was able to open his eyes all the way.

When I looked into his eyes, I realized that they weren't big and shiny. They were dull. They looked as though someone had colored them in with a dull color pencil. I just looked at him as though he didn't look any different, though he saw straight through me.

"You think I look horrible don't you?"

"No. You still look like you did before." I panicked.

"Don't lie to me just to make me feel good. Tell me the truth. I want to know what you think of me right now. I promise I won't get mad."

"Fine then. Honestly I think that you look terrible. And if you want to see your mother you better talk to her in spirit form. I'm not letting her see you like this. So make a full recovery or the only visitor you get will be me!"

"Fine then." He said to me in a little baby tone.

"Well, look, I only came by to say hi and bye. So I said hi, now bye." On my way out I dropped a box on his bed.

"This is for the only one who ever really cared for me? What does he mean?"

I stayed to see his reaction to the gift I gave him. He opened the box and looked in. There was a kimono and a necklace in it. The necklace matched mine. Now I would always know he was with me. After I saw his expression I left. To see his eyes brighten up so much. And to see that bright smile I longed to see. All of that made my day.

For the next week I visited him. He was making a slow but sure recovery. He was looking better, so I finally let Shiori see him. When she saw her son, she began to bawl. She was crying so much, she had to leave. After she left I walked over to his bed.

"So, when's the farewell party?"

"What farewell party?"

"The party they'll throw when you get the hell out of here and come home baka!"

"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask the doctor who wanted to kick me out since I came here."

"I will, on the way out!" I laughed.

"Always the funny one?"

"Yep."

I stayed and talked with him for about three more hours. I finally left and helped Shiori clean up around the house. When I finished I went upstairs and went to sleep. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Kurama. They weren't good pictures. They were ones I didn't want to see. For another week, I continued to visit Kurama. Then, one day when I was going to see him, I was hoping that he would look a lot better then when I saw him before, I ran to the hospital and walked to his room. I looked in the door and the bed was empty. I went to the nurse's station and asked for him.

"Oh, Mr. Minamino. He went to the cafeteria. He said that he was tired of the food they gave him in his room. And he also said that he was waiting for someone named Mr. Jaganshi Hiei. Would that be you?" I just nodded my head. "This is for you. It's the table number he is sitting at."

I looked at the paper and looked up. "Um… could you point me to the cafeteria, onegai?" I whispered.

"Certainly. It's down those stairs and to your right. After you turn just go straight. It's on your left-hand side. You can't miss it." She said smiling at me.

I walked all the way to the cafeteria. I looked at the sheet of paper that the nurse gave me. It said 'isle 2 table 12' on it. I looked up and from the ceiling, there were signs saying isle one, two, three, and four on them. I walked to isle two and looked for table twelve. When I found it, it was empty. There was only food on the table. I decided to wait for him, just in case he went to get something to eat.

I waited about ten minutes and he still didn't show. When I got up to leave, I heard someone call my name. I looked behind me, and it was Kurama. He was smiling and waving to me. He looked as though he was never hurt.

"Hey! Look at what I have on!" he said showing me the kimono.

"I know what it looks like baka! I was the one who brought it you know!"

"Now, I know what you're going to say. You are going to say," he tried to imitate me, "Kitsune no baka! You are supposed to be in bed resting so you can come home!" he stopped, "But, I have good news!"

"And what could that possibly be?" I said just looking at him. I was happy to see that he was up. I was happy to see that everything, from his smile to the way he walked, was back to normal.

"Well, the doctor said that I am well enough to get up on my own and walk around. And also," he sat down at the table and grabbed my hands, "The doctor also said that I could go home in three days!"

I was so excited, but I didn't want to show it. I stayed and talked with him longer, but then I had to leave. I went home to help Shiori. I kept on visiting him, at the same table in the lunchroom, each day. On the third day, when I was going to see him, I was walking out the door when the phone rang. Shiori was busy so I picked up.

"Konnichiwa, is this Mrs. Minamino?"

"No. I'm a friend of the family."

"Well, could you relay a message to her please."

"Yes."

"It's about Minamino Shuichi."

"He made a full recovery?"

"No. Actually… it is the exact opposite. He was getting better and then… well all of a sudden… he just…"

"He just what!" I yelled getting more worried by the minute.

"Well, he passed away this morning. We still don't know…"

I just hung up the phone and ran out of the door. I ran as fast as I could to the hospital. When I got there I ran to his room and he was nowhere to be found. I ran to the nurse's station and asked for him. They said that he had passed. I walked all the way home thinking about how I was going to tell Shiori that her only son, the one who cared for her, passed away.

When I walked in the door, I walked up the stairs into Kurama's room and grabbed all of his clothes. I threw them on his bed and just sat there. Then I picked up his brush and threw it as hard as I could at the mirror. I sat looking at what I had done for about five minutes, then I started to cry. I had never cried so much in my life. I hated myself so much. I had let my friend, my guardian, my love just die on me. I couldn't believe he would give up so easy, I couldn't believe I would let him go like that.

Shiori came in to see what had happened. She saw what I did to his room and knew what happened. She pulled me close to her and held me.

"Be happy for him. I know that he would have wanted you to be." She said crying too.

That Saturday, we held his funeral. Everyone was there, even Yukina showed. He was in the new kimono I brought for him a couple days before. After the funeral, everyone left. I sat there at his grave for hours. I finally came home and walked upstairs. Everyone was in the house having fun and enjoying life as though he was never gone. I could never do that knowing I was what helped him to get where he is. I ran into his room and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up. I put on one of his kimonos and went out. I walked to the flower shop and got a rose. I walked all the way to his grave. I sat down and looked at it. I couldn't believe that this is where he ended up. I placed the rose on the grave and placed my hand on his tombstone. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a dagger.

"I know that there are people here who need me just as much as they need you. But I promised you that if you went, I went with you. I promised that I would protect you no matter what. I failed here but I won't fail again." I lifted the knife above my heart, "I'm going to be with you forever. Just wait."

Then, with one swift move, I stabbed myself. I knew what I did was wrong, but I couldn't stand the thought of being without him. I promised that I was going to stay with him, no matter where he went. And this time, I meant it.