The Doctor had just lost the Ponds and River. Unspeakable pain and sadness washed over him, familiar agonies he had been running from ever since he took the TARDIS out of Gallifrey.
Silent tears streamed down his face as he hid the TARDIS in the clouds above what would be England.
And there he sat for a thousand years, watching the Earth with apathetic eyes.
He sat in silence as Vikings entered Europe. He didn't react when Paris was attacked by the aforementioned Vikings.
When the Mayan Empire rose and fell, he didn't bat an eyelash.
When Chinese dynasties rose and fell, he didn't feel a thing.
When the Aztec Empire rose and fell, he didn't rejoice or grieve.
When the Black Death raged throughout Europe the first time (from aliens unconsciously spreading their germs the way the Europeans did with the Native Americans), he didn't swoop down from his sanctuary and present them with a cure.
When Christopher Columbus reached the New World, he didn't warn him (or anyone else) of the disasters that would follow, or how to avoid them.
When the slave trade started becoming popular, he didn't try to stop it.
When smallpox reared its ugly head, he didn't show them how to cure it.
When settlements struggled to survive in the Americas, he didn't think to (much less go down and) assist them.
When the Revolutionary War began and ended, he didn't look away.
When the French Revolution filled the streets of France with blood, he didn't grimace.
When the Native Americans were forced on the Trail of Tears, he didn't try to defend or help them.
When tensions rose between various peoples for various reasons, he didn't seek to be a peacemaker.
He watched as wars were fought and lost (or won), countries formed and collapsed (or prospered), sickness ran rampant, and death was ever-present. For the first time in years, he didn't try to interfere, whether the points in time were fixed or not.
He watched as history repeated itself. Kings prospered or failed, anarchy quelled or embraced, and land discovered and devoured.
He watched as geniuses lived and died, making their mark on the young planet whether it was in art, literature, music, or the sciences.
And he only felt two things. The first was the apathy, masking the Doctor in ice until the TARDIS herself didn't recognize him anymore.
The other thing he felt was pain and grief, though not for the creatures on the planet. He was coping, barely, with the death of the people he considered his family, his friends, his loved ones. The Doctor was grieving because he had become someone he didn't recognize, someone he swore he would never become.
The only times he would step down onto the planet were when he met with the lizard woman, Madame Vastra.
He wasn't sure why he visited her, but he never missed one of their meetings. She watched the planet form and its species run in circles indifferently with the lonely alien every few months. Vastra didn't ever enter the TARDIS; rather, she traveled the world on foot to watch the repetitive humans.
She found love, and her indifferent shell was cast aside. She began to try to get the Doctor out of the apathetic prison his mind resided in, but she was never successful.
But then something remarkable happened.
He met Clara, the spunky barmaid/Victorian governess, and she made him feel again. Clara melted the apathetic ice that had encased the Doctor, leaving him feeling raw and exposed, yet alive for the first time in centuries.
She was spunky and sassy, much like another companion he lost, yet trusting and loyal.
When she was ripped, literally and figuratively, out of his life, he felt the grief grab at his heart again.
As the Doctor walked to her grave, he mentally berated himself.
This is why you do not form emotional attachments. Because when you do, you are vulnerable. And when you are vulnerable, you can get hurt. Caring is not an advantage. Caring-
His internal tirade came to a crashing halt as he looked at the young woman's gravestone.
Clara
Oswin
Oswald
His mind flashed back to the dalek asylum. Could she really be the same woman?
Did the universe accept his bargain after all?
He thought back to her last words:
Run. Run you clever boy. And remember...
Hope flooded the Doctor. Maybe, just maybe...
He dashed to the TARDIS, ready to begin his eager search for the fascinating enigma.
The TARDIS hummed happily, ready to take him wherever he needed to go.
Her Doctor had finally returned.
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