Chibi: This was driving me crazy after I listened to What if? from Kate Winslet. It had a nice slideshow with it, but I wanted to do something else... So blame the evil plotbunnies for this. I at first wanted to make a songfic of it, but it didn't fit well enough. It does with another story.. so you guys have to wait.

Miroko: It's so sad. Why did you do that??

Chibi: Hush, I tell you in a second. Warnings: THIS IS WAAAY TOO SAPPY FOR MY LIKINGS, but I also liked the idea. I'm plagued by plotbunnies at the moment, so don't be surprised when you see another story coming up very soon. Oh, and if your love doesn't have a happy ending, then I'm sorry. Please don't kill me...

This is also what I think can happen when friendship becomes too much. This is something that happened with me. I was not in love or anything, but I followed my friends too much. Eventually I hated myself for it, especially after confessing that I loved my friend. She didn't accept the way I was and that was enough for me to know I didn't belong there anymore. It was enough for me to walk away. The question that I keep asking myself is What if??

Atemu is asking himself this as well. He has a happy end and never has to think about it again. I will never know, but I do know now that I had no friends. Until my best friend showed up. I wanted a happy end for once in a while. That is why I wrote this story for Atemu and Yugi.

"blah" just talking
'blah' just thinking
blah the letter Atemu wrote

What if?

--

He sat quietly in his windowsill. A sigh escaped delicate lips and a pencil drew a line on a piece of paper. His tanned hands crumbled the paper to nothing and then he threw it away to the door. Crimson eyes looked outside and Atemu sighed once again. His hands picked up another paper and he drew another line. And another, many others followed, but only he knew the purpose of them.

"Aibou…", he murmured softly and he crumbled the piece of paper once again. He looked outside and he heard the laughter from those people. Quietly he wrote something on a paper and he sighed deeply, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Did I change so much, that I cannot see your love?
Am I stupid enough to not see the sparkle in you eyes.
I guess I am

"Or was it I who changed, Aibou??", Atemu asked softly. Once again he looked outside. Yugi was there, playing games with his friends. Jonouchi sat on Seto's lap and Anzu was teasing him. A laughter of Yugi made Atemu turn his face away from what was there. Once again Atemu drew lines upon the piece of paper. He had drawn his Aibou, his koibito, so many times, but everytime Yugi didn't match with the drawing.

I love you until the end of times
But I will walk away now, Yugi
So you can be happy again.

"I'll call Atemu, maybe he wants to play this game as well!!", Yugi called out and the male walked inside the little house they owned.

Grandpa was gone, the gameshop was Yugi's and Atemu's. Both males were twenty-two now. Merely grown-ups, but Yugi managed. He was older and wiser now. He had his friends. He had earned his money with championships, just like Atemu had done. He lived happily in his home, which he knew so well.

Yugi rushed up the stairs and opened their bedroomdoor. For five years now, Atemu and him were lovers. And ever since two years they had lost their innocence to each other. Yugi could still remember that night, with candle-light. Atemu had been so gentle and so sweet. In fact, the once Pharaoh had never changed his attitude.

You have choosen the way to be strong
Stronger then me
Because I walk away now
I am weak because I cannot see your love
I am weak because I run away from our troubles
I am weak, because there's one question I want to ask you
What if I walk away?

"Atemu??", Yugi asked with a smile on his soft lips. Amethyst eyes widened at the mess and the emptyness of the room. Paper lay everywhere, pencils and drawings. Yugi picked up one of them and saw himself. Younger, innocent even. No earring in his right ear, which he had now. He remembered that time, that was before… Before he got impressed by what his friends did.

Anzu had a tattoo on her shoulder. A beautiful butterfly. Jonouchi was rich now, Honda owned several motorbikes and Yugi? Yugi had changed… Softly the music of the radio hit his ears and he turned his face to it. It was the chorus of a song.

It was Atemu's favorite song. In fact, Yugi found out that Atemu's voice could bring him to sleep easily. Yugi could hear Atemu's voice singing softly on the rythm, his lover couldn't keep his voice down when the song was played. Yugi softly hummed with the song, until he heard his friends stop chattering and he looked outside.

Atemu walked away from Anzu, Jonouchi and Seto. Honda was gone now, following his dream. Anzu was home in her vacation from New York. Seto and Jonouchi were celebrating their love, for the umpteenth time. Anzu called his name once, but the male didn't listen. Seto said something to Jonouchi softly, but the blonde didn't react on it, just kissed his lover.

There is no need for me to stay
Your friends are making you happier then I can
This is beyond what I wanted it to be
My road was full of joy, thanks to you
But I do not want your road to be full of misery
What if I walk away?

Atemu murmured a song softly. It was repeated in his mind forever. Yugi didn't need him anymore, that had been clear by their last argument. There was nothing to do about it. Atemu broke out in a run suddenly and he ran away from their once friends. He ran away from his home, from his lover, from his life.

'I've killed you', Atemu thought softly and he stopped at the park. He sat down on a bench and he sighed again. He was so stupid, why hadn't he just liked Yugi the way he was?? Sure, Yugi had changed a little bit… Atemu snorted, not a little bit. His little one had three tattoo's, five earrings in each ear and the boy had something for frogs. All of a sudden, it were frogs. Yugi had had many different favorite animals, changing by the week. First it were butterflies and Atemu had loved that, laughed about it. Then it were lions and then it were fishes and then it were birds and then… and then… until eventually it were frogs… until eventually it drove Atemu insane.

'But…', Atemu thought, 'I've changed as well'. And that was true. Atemu was or a mess-maker, or a neat-freak. And that could change every week as well. He had earrings as well, but he had missed the weight and the sound when he would move his head. And his Aibou had accepted those as well. And sometimes Atemu's fetish for leather was huge, driving Yugi insane as well.

Still, what Atemu missed the most in their relationship was love. He missed Yugi's love the most. It was gone, he had killed it with his rants about Yugi's precious body.

Quietly I will leave you now
So you can find new love, one that will not kill you
I have restrained you
And I am sorry
I am sorry for being weak as well
I love you
But what if I walk away?

"You're better off without me", he whispered and he raised up from the bench again to walk away.

"Atemu? Where are you going?", Yugi suddenly asked behind him. Atemu stood still, his crimson eyes were widened. He didn't dare to turn around, afraid he would give up. Then he bend his head and sighed softly.

"I need to leave. You're happier without me… I'm sorry for everything I did to you", Atemu said softly. Yugi's eyes widened and he clenched his fist shut. A piece of paper was crumbled between his fingers and tears slipped down his face. Atemu walked away, this couldn't be true… He knew he had forgotten about Atemu, he knew he should've been there for him. Every day, because he missed those embraces Atemu could give him.

Slowly he dawned him. Atemu was sorry for his faults, but Yugi couldn't think of any fault the male had made. Maybe some forgotten attention, but Yugi couldn't think of that right now. There were no mistakes, only tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm not happy!!", Yugi called out suddenly. Atemu stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. He faced his beloved and bit his lip at seeing the young male cry.

"Not happy?", Atemu asked softly. Yugi ran over to him and hugged him. The smaller male cried his heart out, clenching Atemu's shirt in his hands.

"NO!! I'm not happy when you leave!! I love you!", Yugi called out and soft teardrups fell in his hair. He looked up to see Atemu bite his lip some more, a small drup of blood trinkled down his chin, while Atemu burried his face in Yugi's hair.

"I was born from the puzzle… to make you happy. I still love you Yugi, Aibou, koibito", Atemu whispered. His voice was strained, but he didn't stutter. Yugi smiled.

"We've been stupid, right??", he asked softly. Atemu nodded and then shook his head.

"Don't talk. Love has a happy end, it always has", Atemu murmured and Yugi nodded this time. Yes, that was true. And now, he was glad Atemu had walked away from him, because it made him see how much he loved the other, his other, his soulmate. Quietly he plucked the earrings from his ears and he whiped away the köhl from his eyes.

"I love you", Yugi said through his tears of happiness, because he had his Atemu. Atemu's strong arms wrapped around him.

"I love you too. I want to make you happy, Yugi", Atemu said softly and he kissed Yugi's cheek softly, because he was happy he had walked away. For now, he refound their love again and he wouldn't walk away again.

There is no need for me to stay
Your friends are making you happier then I can
This is beyond what I wanted it to be
My road was full of joy, thanks to you
But I do not want your road to be full of misery

This little piece was what I had written after I found everything out. Thank you for reading the story I wrote for Atemu and Yugi. It was a pleasure to share a happy, sappy ending with you readers.

Arigatou,
Chibi