Guys, I wanted to write this story for personal reasons. It's dedicated to my friend, name not going to be said, but I am writing this story because she used to cut herself when she was stressed, which was a lot. And I wanted to write this story to show a bit of her story, only half of what I'm writing about is true in her case, this is an abuse story, she was not abused, but it is full of drama, friendship, romance, angst, and all that jazz. So please, don't message me saying I write to many stories. I am going to focus on this one for a bit, because this is what is on my mind because it makes me very sad and upset that my friend did those things to herself, and I guess this is how I want to show her how I feel.
Chapter 1: Concrete Angel
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace
The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born
Through the wind, and the rain, she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late
Through the wind, and the rain, she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel
Her statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
Her name is written on a polished rock
All broken heart that the world forgot
Through the wind, and the rain, she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel
BPOV
My name is Isabella Swan. Bella for short. I live in a small town in Washington, called Forks, with my father, Charlie. Charlie isn't much of a father, though. My mom died in a car crash when I was young, and he blames me for her death. He doesn't hide his feelings for me, either. He hits me, kicks me, punches me, tells me how worthless I am, how much he hates me, it's my fault my mom died, ect. The last part is true. It was my fault. I had swim team practice, and I was too tired to walk home, so I asked mom to come get me. I was 12. She did so, but got caught in an accident with a drunk driver. The drunk survived, but my mom died upon impact.
I know it was my fault, so I don't blame Charlie for hurting me. I know who I am, and I am everything he says I am. What father doesn't know his own daughter, right?
It's September 10 today. Three days until my birthday. I'll be turning 17 in three days. Time really does fly by, doesn't it?
I got out my clothes, black skinny jeans, blood red short sleeved T-Shirt that said, "When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire" (AN: Idk where I got that, but I saw it and thought of Bella. So…yeah.) on the front with a pair of vampire teeth with blood dripping off of one of the teeth. Then, I put on my jet black jacket that hugged my curve that said, "Vampires are the best" on the back. (AN: HAHA! I just had to do that! I can just picture her wearing that. Idk if there really are shirts and jackets like that…) The jacket covered up my bruises. At school, everyone calls me either, "Vampire Girl," or "Emo." Oh, well.
Today, we are getting some new students. The Sullen's or something like that. I don't really care. A new pack of people to irritate me. That's all people really do: irritate me. Either with their lack of knowledge, common sense, and hearts, or their personality. Either one bugs me if they have a bad personality and are stupid.
I put on the cover up make up and put on my watch, sapphire blue ring, sapphire earrings from my grandmother, and my sapphire blue necklace that was in the shape of a heart. It was also my grandmother's.
With that, I went down stairs and made breakfast for myself. Charlie left at 5:00 in the morning, he's the Chief of Police. So I don't get beaten in the morning on school days and some Saturdays and Sundays, but always after school or when he's not fishing or at the station or at Billy's.
For breakfast, I had two sunny side up eggs with a piece of French toast and some orange juice. Once I finished, I looked at the clock above the oven. I had 20 minutes to get to school. I quickly ran and got my sneakers that were black with blood red stripes. Then, I ran downstairs, got my back pack, and ran out to my car. It was a great car, Charlie got it for me to not raise suspicion of him being a good dad. It was a Camero 2010, and I loved it.
I sped off to school and arrived in ten minutes. I saw a silver Volvo next to my car spot that I always parked in. Must be the new kids. I parked my car and got out, a rush of wind blowing my hair back, making it look like a movie shot. I'll admit, I am very pretty. Not smoking hot, but very beautiful. My hair is a chestnut chocolate brown that waved down to the lower center of my back right above my bottom, my eyes were a deep chocolate brown that revealed my emotions easily, my face was heart shaped, I had curves in all the right places, my lips were a full, deep red with a pinkish tint, and my nose was carved perfectly. As I said, very beautiful, but not like I care. I can't show off anything, and I don't want to. The boys in Forks are pigs who only want sex, then dump you like yesterday's trash. It was sick.
I looked at the new kids who had just gotten out of their car and noticed me. I grinned at them. One was a short, pixie like girl with short, spiky, jet black hair. She was very delicate looking. Another was a blonde beauty goddess with curves in every perfect place, long, blonde, wavy hair done to perfection, and she was tall. The boys were very different. The one next to the short girl had honey blonde hair that was in slight curls, he was lean but muscled, and very handsome. The one next to the blonde girl was very big and burly with short brown hair that had slight curls as well, he looked like a body builder, but I could tell he had a childish personality with the glint in his eyes. The last boy was… perfect.
He had bronze hair that was disarrayed to perfection, he was sort of lanky and boyish, but had features of a man in there as well, his lips were so full and kissable… WAIT! STOP! What am I doing? I can't have feelings for him! A boy like him would never like me, and I'm broken and worthless. He's perfect, an angel, an Adonis.
I grinned at them once more before leaning on my car, crossing my arms and looking at them studiously. They all had topaz eyes, wonder why that is?
"Hey," I said. "I'm Bella. You must be the Sullen's or something. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, not very into social stuff here." I said sheepishly. They looked shocked. The burly one answered.
"We're the Cullen's, and I'm Emmett, this is my girlfriend, Rosie, my little sis, Pixie, my bro, Eddie, and Rosie's twin brother, Jazzy poo. Pleasure to meet you Bella!" They all glared at him. I chuckled.
"I'm guessing you go by other names? Let me guess a few from what I know so far: Rosalie, Rosie for short by Emmett." I said pointing to the blonde girl. She nodded. "Jasper, Jazzy poo for short by Emmett." I said pointing to the blonde male. He nodded as well. "And Edward? Apparently, Eddie for short by Emmett." He nodded as well. I frowned. "That's an ugly name, Eddie. Stupid, short, and just plain creepy. And it sounds like the name of a rapist or a stalker or a criminal or something. So I'll stick to Edward." He grinned happily at me.
"Thank you! I hate that stupid nick name." He grumbled. I laughed. Then, I turned to pixie.
"What is your real name, Pixie?" I asked.
"Alice. You can call me Ali if you want. I don't mind." She said, jumping up and down excitedly. I looked at her frightened.
"You scare me with your happiness. I hope to God you aren't a lover of shopping or fashion, or I will die!" I said in a shaky voice. They laughed, except for Alice, she pouted. I smiled to show her I was just kidding.
"Hey Emo! Turn around freak!" I heard a nasally voice call. I rolled my eyes, scratched my nail against the white of my eyes, causing them to get red and watery.
I turned around. "Don't call me Emo or I'll cry big fat juicy tears of blood and pain and I'll die and it'll be all YOUR FAULT!"(AN: Not mine! Found it somewhere online and thought it would fit…) I screamed. I turned back around calmly to see the Cullen's holding back laughter. I rolled my eyes again.
I smiled at them mischievously. Then, the bell rang and we said goodbye. I went to my first class, and sat down in my seat, only to hear snickers. I glared at them. They flinched under my glare.
Then, I felt it, something crawling up my leg. I looked down and saw a black spider. I smiled. I love spiders! They're so fuzzy and cute! I bent down and gently picked it up.
"Hey little guy! What are you doing here?" I asked smiling softly. It just walked off my hand and up my arm. I giggled. It tickled. I looked up to see the other kids looking at me like I am insane. Huh, maybe I am insane. Oh well. I heard the chair next to me scrape against the linoleum floor. I looked and saw Rosalie Hale. I smiled.
"Hey! How are you this fine day, Rose? Beautiful weather, eh?" I asked coolly. She glared at me for a few moments before huffing.
"I don't know what is so special about you, you're so plain. What does my family see in you that makes you so interesting?" She muttered to herself, or maybe she meant for me to hear it. I can't say that didn't hurt. It did. She was new to the school, didn't know me, and already hates me. My day got just a little sadder now. My head fell slightly.
"When you figure that out, why don't you tell me? Because, honestly, I can't say I am special. I am plain and boring. But I don't really care, because it's not what's on the outside that matters to me, it's what's on the inside. Hey, you could be butt ugly and if you had a nice personality I would hang with you, if you let me anyways. But, seriously, ask your family what is so special about me, and then come on back over here to me and tell me what they said. They feel sorry for me? It's a ploy to embarrass me like the other kids do? You got no one else better to hang with? You want to change me into something I'm not? Well, you ask them, and I'll be waiting for an answer." I said back to her. She looked at me wide eyed and mouth dropped. I just smiled sweetly at her, before the first bell rang and Mrs. Grey started the lecture.
I turned and faced the front of the classroom, ignoring Rosalie Hale and her rude and tenacious attitude. The lecture went by too quickly, and as the bell rang and I gathered my things, Rosalie decided to speak.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just you seem so ordinary, and my family is fascinated by you for some reason. Now I see why. You are very expressive, temperamental, and very sarcastic. Oh, and very humorous. So, I apologize for my rude attitude. And if you would like, you can sit with us at lunch." She said, but it sounded forced. I raised an eye brow.
"You don't mean one word that just came out of your mouth. You're afraid your family will be upset with you for being so tenacious. But I think that as much as rude you were, you are a good person, as are your family. And, I thank you for the offer, but I always sit alone, and I make no exceptions. Have a good day, Rosalie." I said, then walked out the classroom leaving her agape staring after me. I walked to Calculus with Mr. Varner, and thankfully, I didn't have any of the Cullen's in this class.
After that, everything went smoothly. Until lunch.
I went and got my tray, then sat down at my table that I always sat at alone. About two minutes later, I heard the other chairs pull out. I looked up, ready to tell the people off, when, surprise, surprise, the Cullen's were sitting in the chairs. I huffed.
"You're all out to get me, aren't you?" I asked tersely. They looked shocked, except Rosalie.
"Pardon?" Alice asked shocked. I smiled slightly.
"I don't let anyone sit with me. Why the hell should you be some exception? Just because I was nice earlier and so welcoming, doesn't mean we are best buddies. I don't do friends. Can't anyways." I grimaced. They looked confused.
"Why can't you have friends, Bella?" Emmett asked. I rolled my eyes.
"Out of everything I just said, was that the only thing you paid attention to?" I asked. They shook their heads. I sighed. "I'm not a good friend. I can't do sleepovers, makeovers, shopping, stay up all night gossiping, my life is crap, I don't tell people my problems and never will, I don't talk to others unless forced to, I'm a freak, I'm an emo person, I don't like people, and I especially hate guys. No offense. But that's me. Still want to be my friend?" I asked raising an eye brow. They didn't answer. "Didn't think so." I said, getting up. I threw away my trash and left the cafeteria. I still had 35 minutes to kill, so I went to the music room. I grabbed a guitar and strummed a few random chords. Soon, I had a song with the lyrics and music in my head, so I started playing the tune to see how it sounded.
Give It All Back by The Material
Give it all back give it all back to me now
Give it all back give it all back to me now
You never said goodbye
You just grabbed your keys and left
And in this bed I slept alone
You took a part of me
That wasn't yours to keep
I need to feel complete again
I never gave you my heart
You just stole it away
And if I saw you right now
I'd know exactly what to say
Give it all back give it all back to me now
And pick up my heart which you left there on the ground
I hope you feel ashamed
'Cause you're the one to blame
Give it all back give it all back to me now
I wasted so much time
Just staring at the clock
I thought the pain would stop by now
But not a day goes by
That I don't see your face
I can't seem to erase the past
I never gave you my heart
You just stole it away
And if I saw you right now
I'd know exactly what to say
Give it all back give it all back to me now
And pick up my heart which you left there on the ground
I hope you feel ashamed
'Cause you're the one to blame
Give it all back give it all back to me now
Oh oh oh oh woah oh
Then one day I just said
I can't live life like this
And I burned every picture
All notes I had saved
All the lies page by page
Became fuel for the fire
And it's true I was lost
But I found my way back
And I won't let you take that
Take that
Give it all back give it all back to me now
And pick up my heart which you left there on the ground
I hope you feel ashamed
'Cause you're the one to blame
Give it all back give it all back to me now
Give it all give it all back to me now.
I immediately started into another song I had made. I had called it Nobody's Home.
Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne
Well, I couldn't tell you And I couldn't help her What's wrong, what's wrong now? She wants to go home With no place to go Open your eyes You've been rejected Be strong, be strong now She wants to go home With no place to go Her feelings she hides She can't find her place She wants to go home With no place to go She's lost inside, lost inside
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
And look outside
Find the reasons why
And now you can't find
What you've left behind
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh, oh
I let a tear drip down my face. I quickly wiped it away. I didn't like crying, it made me feel weak. I heard clapping and I slowly turned around to see the Cullen's staring at me concerned.
"That was amazing Bella! What sons were those?" I glared at them.
"I made them. They're called Give it All Back and Nobody's Home. How long were you standing there?" I asked nervously.
"From, "I never gave you my heart, you just stole it away, and if I saw you right now, I'd know exactly what to say," in the beginning of Give It All Back." Alice said. I gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes shut. My music was personal and they had no right to hear it. It's mine, and I write how I feel and what happens to me a lot. They can't hear my songs. They'll fit the pieces together and figure everything out about why I'm so guarded. I can't let that happen. I won't.
"Goodbye." I growled, then stalking off. I glared at them on my way out. I was angry. "And, if you know what's best for you, you'll leave me alone." I stated matter-of-factly. Then, with that said, I walked away. I felt stupid. I had just thrown away my only opportunity to be saved, and it was my fault. It always was.