Disclaimer: Still don't own Vampire Diaries or its characters.
My dreams are filled with him. The brother I shouldn't have. The brother who would destroy me and then laugh in my face.
He wants to set fire to my life. He wants me to stand by and watch as he burns everything that matters to me, including his brother. Especially his brother. He wants me to dance and sing as the flames rise higher and higher. As smoke fills the air. As my life withers and dies. He wants us to rejoice and laugh, screaming at the top of our lungs how we fought life and won. How we conquered death and then raided the village, feasting and leaving no survivors. Like a modern day Carthage, we razed the site of our conquered territory and then salted the earth, making sure nothing would ever grow again. Making sure nothing could rise out of the ash and haunt us, reminding me of my betrayal.
As if I would need reminding. As if the regret wouldn't follow me across miles, eating away at me while we explored the wonders of the world. While we ate the finest food and drank the finest blood. But like everything else, he would rob me of that too, stripping me of my guilt and leaving me broken but feeling strangely complete. He reaches out his hand to me and suddenly he turns into Stefan, and I am reminded that Damon is not mine. Will never be mine as long as Stefan is alive. As long as Stefan needs me.
I walk into Stefan's trusting arms and embrace him, praying that if I hold him hard enough and long enough my cravings for his brother will disappear. Will evaporate like water. But even then it would still hang overhead, always threatening to cascade around me. Washing me of my façade. Revealing my true nature to Stefan.
I cling to him like a spider, forcing my dreams away.