Disclaimer: I own neither character, sadly. Credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. Thanks.
Note: Not sure whether to continue this, at the moment I'm thinking it stands alone quite nicely, but that might just be my fear of dialogue speaking!
These were the moments Maura treasured the most, lying next to Jane when the night was still, studying the slight rise and fall of her chest with every breath.
She was fully aware of the, well, implications that came with staring at a sleeping woman at night. Even in the safe haven of her own spare bedroom it made her nervous to speculate about what would happen if anyone were to hear the thoughts currently spiralling through her brain.
"What if something happens and I never get to see that smile again? The one she seems to reward me with when I've done something that takes her by surprise."
Maura didn't deal in 'what if's', only at this time of night when she allowed herself to be overwhelmed by the barrage of thoughts that she could usually control.
"How am I meant to tell her that she is the only person who has the ability to terrify me, yet lying here I've never felt more at home?"
Maura had never been easily embarrassed, but she didn't think she could bear the humiliation of Jane not sharing her feelings.
"How can I go on…never telling Jane that I…"
Maura stopped herself. Like she did every time she came close to admitting just how strong her feelings were. She desperately tried to push the thoughts away, turning over violently to face the ceiling.
...
Jane was convinced that she was the best actress that Boston had ever seen. No seriously, pretending to sleep? It was her warm up act. Trying not to stir when she sensed Maura's endless gaze, now that was an accomplishment.
The staring never really stopped, but during the day Jane could make the intensity melt away with a carefully timed comment, or a dorky grimace. At night it felt as if the tension were actually alive, as if it were shouting at them through the darkness to move, to finally just reach out and feel for the other woman.
It infuriated Jane that Maura always seemed so damn sure of herself, even when the contact between the two was reduced to just her firm gaze. How was she meant to ever say anything about the emotions that were constantly rising and falling inside of her while Maura remained so quietly determined, even through this mess?
This particular night, however, something burst inside of Jane. Not a huge, cataclysmic explosion of sudden certainty and conviction, it was more like her body simply could not handle the strain of lying still and not acknowledging the feelings that were so much louder in the dark.
Hearing Maura move pushed her over the edge; her eyes flew open as she went to speak.
"Jane?" Before she could say anything she heard her name uttered in a low voice.
"Maura," she replied, not finding it at all odd that when she had opened her mouth the other woman had spoken for her.
"What are we doing?"