He Sells Sea-shells

Shinji Ikari walked slowly along the beach. The sea had slowly reverted to its normal blue colour since the reversal of Instrumentality a year ago. People had came back and resumed their lives.

Including Shinji's mother Yui, which was good.

Including Shinji's father Gendo, which was not so good.

Yui had been mad at Gendo for abandoning and then using Shinji. But she also still remembered Gendo as he used to be, and she still cared about him. So the couple lived apart, with Shinji staying with his Mom (which he liked). Yui would visit Gendo once in a while (which Shinji didn't quite like). Shinji preferred not to think what the two of them did together. Life wasn't perfect, but he was happy enough with the arrangement.

Yeah, I got my Mom back. Shinji glanced behind him smiling. Yui Ikari was rubbing lotion on Gendo's broad shoulders, he had gotten himself sunburned. Gendo winced and growled and scowled, but was enjoying the attention, and Yui knew it.

Life's not perfect. But that was the point of undoing Third Impact, to find happiness, real happiness amid pain and imperfection in real life. Shinji found the will to go on. Somehow.

Kensuke and Toji had come back too, Toji with all his limbs intact, Toji laughing and running and shooting hoops (and peeking at girls) again, and it was all so great!! It almost made up for Asuka's rejection of Shinji. She was civil with him but cold, and one day she started ranting about how Shinji didn't come to save her and left her fighting all alone... afterwards she was civil with him, but distant.

But I have all my friends, and I've got my Mom back, Shinji thought, smiling. He looked behind him. Yui was rubbing lotion on Gendo's broad shoulders, the man hadn't been on a beach in years and gotten himself sunburned. Now Gendo was wincing and growling and thoroughly enjoying the attention (though he wouldn't admit it).

Maybe I'll even get along with Dad someday.

He turned around and bumped into someone. Shinji fell on his butt on the sand.

"Oh, I beg your pardon! Are you all right?" the boy Shinji'd bumped into offered his hand. It was pale. Shinji's eyes followed up the arm. The boy was wearing a T-shirt and bermudas, his face was shaded by a straw hat and his eyes hidden behind shades to protect himself from the sun, but there was no mistaking it.

"K-k-Kaworu-kun?" stammered Shinji. He promptly got up and launched himself at the boy, hugging him fiercely.

"Errr... I beg your pardon? Do I know you?"

Shinji was in shock. The silver-grey hair, those eyes, white skin. It must be him.

"I know you!" the boy cried with a look of recognition. "Shinji, Shinji Ikari."

Shinji felt hope rising within him...

"I've read all about you, you piloted one of those giant robots!! Can I have your autograph?"

...only to stall and crash nose-first into the ground. Shinji turned and ran.

"Hey, wait!! What did I just say?!"

==================================

Why didn't he know me? Shinji's run was brief, just enough to get away from the boy he'd bumped into. His mind was beginning to spin, filling up with questions and starting a downward spiral.

"Whoa, get a hold of yourself." Yui had taught her son to recognize negative thought-patterns and do something to arrest them. She called it 'cognitive therapy'. It was weird having your own Mom for a therapist, but Shinji felt better for it. Shinji ducked into a seaside cafe and ordered a dish of ice-cream. He didn't care what flavour it was. All he needed was an excuse to stop and think more comfortably. He liked the way ice-cream turned part-slushy when he was almost done, and was pondering how to use this effect in a new dessert recipe (he sometimes took over the kitchen from his Mom) when the door opened and the pale, grey-haired boy came in.

By now, Shinji had calmed down somewhat and rationalised the whole thing as an honest mistake. I wonder how many albinos there are in Japan? I guess I'll have to apologise. I must have startled him. Shinji waved and gestured at an empty seat. The boy seated himself.

"I'm sorry about what happened at the beach," Shinji started, "I thought you were someone I once knew."

"Apology accepted, Captain Needa." the boy intoned.

Shinji raised an eyebrow. Star Wars? Heh heh. He sounds like Kensuke. I've definitely got the wrong guy. This is really embarrassing.

The boy mistook Shinji's raised eyebrow for confusion rather than amusement, and tried to explain. "My guardian has an extensive collection of classic science fiction movies including Star Wars. I must say, the original trilogy is far superior to the prequels despite the antiquated special effects. The surface detail afforded by using miniature models is greater than could be provided by the CGI rendering in the prequels.What's so funny?"

Shinji was giggling. This guy was articulate, verbose and enthusiastic about science fiction. He seemed some weird amalgam of Kaworu and Kensuke. It was really too funny. Definitely the wrong guy.

"S-sorry," Shinji said between giggles, "You sounded just like Kensuke just now. He's one of my friends in Tokyo-3."

"Ah, so you don't live near here? Wait, of course not, you had to live in Tokyo-3."

"Yeah. I'm here on holiday with my parents."

"I see. My name's Kasai, Kasai Tori."

"So, you live with a guardian?"

"Yes, I lost my family during what they call Third Impact. They did not return, or perhaps they returned at scattered locations." Kasai looked sad. "Those welfare people found me on a beach not far from here. I was housed in an orphanage for a couple of months. Then a music teacher adopted me after hearing me play the violin."

"I understand". Shinji felt sorry for him. "I used to live with a guardian before coming to Tokyo-3. Then Misato took me in for about a year, before my Mom came back."

"Don't get me wrong, Shinji, she's a lovely lady. I couldn't be happier under the circumstances. But still, I feel some regret." Kasai eyed Shinji carefully. "Why did you call me Kaworu?"

"Honest mistake. I thought you were him, that's all. Sorry." Shinji blushed in embarrassment.

"But Shinji.... How do you know you're wrong?

============================

Shinji became somewhat unsettled again. "What do you mean?"

"When I woke up on the shore alone after Third Impact, I couldn't remember anything. I didn't even know my own name. Shinji," Kasai looked almost desperate, "I still don't know my real name. My family didn't come back here. There's a huge blank in my mind. But you looked as if you might know who I am, or was. Who was Kaworu? Did he play the violin like me?"

Shinji wasn't sure. Did Kaworu ever have a family? He was an Angel, right? As for the violin, he thought he might have glimpsed Kaworu during a practice session at the old school in Tokyo-3, but he'd known the boy for only one evening at NERV. There had been no time for music (beyond Kaworu humming Ode to Joy), and only a deadly dance afterwards.

Kasai looked lost, so different from the self-assured Kaworu that Shinji had known. "I don't know. I didn't get to know him that long." Shinji said quietly. His heart still ached about how that had ended. "He... died."

There was a long uncomfortable silence. "I'm sorry, Shinji-kun." Kasai compassionately reached across the table and took Shinji's hands. "It must hard, loving and losing a friend."

"Mmm." said Shinji. He was just about to commiserate about Kasai's own loss of family when Kasai continued, and what he said...

"I can see that you are so delicate, like glass."

... blew some fuses in Shinji's brain, even if the words weren't exactly the same. Shinji stood up so suddenly that his chair crashed on the floor. Then he fainted.

"Shinji?" Kasai was dumbfounded. "Was it something I said? "

===========================

Shinji slowly came round. Instead of an unfamiliar ceiling, his gaze was met by the worried expression on Kasai's face. Kasai was kneeling beside him and fanning Shinji with his hat. Kasai turned his head and reassured the other patrons that everything was all right, then helped Shinji sit up against the wall. "It's probably not a good idea to stand up right away, Shinji."

Shinji sat for a minute with his head between his knees. "It's really you, Kaworu," he finally ventured, raising his head.

The grey-haired boy regarded him, kneeling on the floor. "You seem so certain."

"He, I mean you, said almost the same thing to me. 'You are so delicate, like glass.'"

"Did he? Did I? But, I thought you said that he died?" Kasai/Kaworu placed a hand on Shinji's knee. He was still anxious about his identity.

"My Mom, she sort of came back from the dead. Third Impact.... I think anything's possible. Especially for someone like Kaworu". Shinji said, remembering a gigantic Kaworu reaching out towards his airborne Evangelion, just before the climax of Third Impact.

Kasai/Kaworu sat back, deep in thought. Shinji decided to take a risk. He lunged forward and kissed Kaworu. "I never got the chance to say 'I love you' back."

Kaworu was pleasantly surprised, then looked at him with a gentle expression. "That was... pleasant. I feel as if I had been born, just to meet you, Shinji-kun." Seeing Shinji smile, he added, "Did I say that to you before as well?"

"Hai, Kaworu-kun. Or do you still prefer Kasai?"

"What's in a rose? Any name is still sweet," Kaworu misquoted, his mind a little muddled. "Shinji-kun, if love be the food of music, play on."

Shinji was confused by the mangled Shakespeare (not that he was strong on Shakespeare to begin with) and didn't get his meaning.

"Kiss me again, silly."

Afterwards Kasai/Kaworu helped Shinji up to his chair. Kasai went off to order something to drink for them both. Kaworu, you may not remember what happened before, or who you were, but that's OK. I'll take what I can get. Shinji thought as Kaworu came back from the counter with refreshements.