A/N:
Welcome, fellow lovers of angst. I warn you that there is nothing but pain ahead. If this distresses you, it's in your best interest to click the back button. If this intrigues you, then...welcome, brother or sister. Let's establish some basic information so there is no confusion.
There will be NO romance period whatsoever in this. If you're looking for a ship fic there's hundreds of others. Same for sexual content.
This is a torture fic. I have to keep repeating that because that's literally all this is. Physical and emotional torture as well as manipulation. It'll only get worse.
Frisk is depicted not as being entirely mute, but with a serious speech impediment.
They haven't befriended anyone in the Underfell!AU, just managed to get past them. Not a redemption run, in other words. Neutral, if you like.
For the sake of extra pain and angst, SAVEs do not fully restore health. The condition you are in when you SAVE is the condition you will be in when you RELOAD.
I think that's it.
Enjoy.
You feel your feet touch solid ground again and you gasp, putting your hands over your chest and dropping Flowey in the process. There's no bones jutting out, no blood, no pain. Your body is whole, your HP is at 20, and you can even feel the warmth of a recently eaten cinnabun in your stomach. Once again, you've started back at your save.
"Frisk! What's wrong?!" Flowey cries from your feet, his pot luckily undamaged from his fall.
You're crying, which is probably why he's upset. He doesn't know. Doesn't know how many times you've died trying to pass through this hall. You don't really know either, though – after fifty you lost track. You had at least hoped that the pain would get less intense, that you might grow numb to it.
You haven't.
You feel yourself disintegrate, piece by piece, whenever you are hit with a Gaster Blaster. You can feel every strand of your heart being ripped apart as bones pierce your chest. After your first dozens failures, though, Sans had started to get bored. Bored with your quick, almost immediate deaths.
He's started experimenting.
Strangling you. Lifting you to the ceiling and then letting you drop, watching with a grin as you die slowly from internal bleeding. Slamming you again and again into the walls and floor, trying to see if he can shatter every last bone before you die.
Flowey doesn't know about the SAVEs. He grows increasingly concerned every time you wake back up in this hall, your DETERMINATION fading further and further. You are tired of dying again and again and again...
But seeing your only friend so scared and confused only makes the hurt worse. He's the one monster that cares about you. And you show your care by bringing him with you, letting him watch you die over and over...or worse...
You shut your eyes, picking up the flower again and holding him close as you remember Sans slowly ripping him to pieces right in front of you, grinning at the screaming as you beg him to stop, as Flowey begged him to just end it already...
Your shoulders shake and you duck your head, giving a sob. It was bad enough getting hurt yourself. But getting your only friend hurt too...
"aww..what's the matter, kid?"
As always, Flowey immediately panics, "Frisk! Run!"
Sans rolls his eyes at the repetitious flower, ignoring his cries, "just give up, kid. i'm never gonna get tired of this."
You give a strangled cry as Sans reaches out a hand and lifts you up, your SOUL growing cold and heavy. You shut your eyes and hold Flowey tighter when you realize you failed to put him down in time. Once again he's going to suffer along with you, and won't even been able to forgive you, because when you come back again he won't remember-
A scream rips from your lips as you're thrown back to the floor, several bones breaking at the force of the impact. You hear Flowey's pot shatter, hear him calling to you, but you can't understand him over the sound of your own cries of pain. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-
"heh. That's gonna leave a mark, huh kid?" Sans grins, lifting you off the floor so your toes just barely graze the tile. You scream out as you watch him crush Flowey in his fist, your tears becoming even more blinding as the flower's screams slowly fade away. "what's the matter? i'm just picking weeds."
You're almost angry. Almost. He knows what he's doing. He knows that it's hurting you, and why...he understands friendship. He knows it's possible so why won't he let you help him? Why doesn't he give you a chance?
"tell you what, kiddo." He conjures up several bones that surround you, covered in a fiery red glow and poised to kill, "let's just make this you and me. i'll give you a head start." He winks at you, and then there's the sickening sensation of your flesh tearing as you're killed once more. You only have a brief moment to contemplate what Sans meant before you're back again, standing before the hall.
"Frisk! What's wrong?!"
You know what you have to do.
Clutching Flowey close, you turn and rush out of the room, running away towards the elevators. Flowey is yelling questions at you, scared and confused. But you can't answer him. You don't know how much time Sans is going to give you.
It feels as though it takes forever to run back, to find the first patch of soil outside the Core. You're openly sobbing by the time you fall to your knees in the red dirt across the bridge. Flowey all but screams at you as you take him from his pot and plant him.
"Frisk! What are you doing?! I can't follow you in there!"
"S-s-s..s-s-sor-r-y-y!" In between your handicap and your hysterical sobbing, you can barely get the one word out. You're giving up your last source of strength, of encouragement. By doing this, you're damning yourself to hell alone. To try and somehow get past Sans without a single friend by your side.
But you can't keep him with you. It would be selfish. The skeleton gave you a chance to let him out of it – you had to take it.
You throw your arms around the perplexed flower, hugging him as best you can.
He calls out after you as your rush away, tears blinding your vision no matter how much you brush them away with the sleeve of your sweater. You already miss him. The selfish part of you wants you to turn back, to bring him with you. But you are DETERMINED to keep your friend from any more suffering.
Your throat is dry and your breathing is heavy by the time you come back to the corridor. Your steps are weary as you walk up to the glowing bit of light and put your hands over it.
SAVE GO BACK
"smart move, kid."
You shudder at the voice, turning to face the skeleton as you hug yourself tightly, seeking some form of comfort that can now only come from you.
"i was wondering when you'd finally get tired of your 'buddy' screaming." Sans chuckles, his red eye gleaming, "turns out you were just waiting for an opportunity, huh? you should've just said something, kiddo."
He thinks that joke is funny enough to be told a hundred times over. You can't speak more than one or two words at a time without a painful amount of effort, and that's funny. Laughable. It hurts. He knows it hurts. He likes it. Enjoys hurting you.
But still, you haven't given up. Not yet.
In spite of everything, in spite of his laughter and menacing, demeaning grin, you step forward. Your arms are shaking as you hold them out.
Sans merely sighs, "you still wanna be friends, huh?" Without warning, a bone pierces you through from behind, and you fall forward, choking on blood, "sorry, kid. maybe next time"
It's not next time. You are beginning to wonder if it's ever.
You start to feel like you can taste blood on your tongue even after you die, after you've come back to the beginning. It takes a few deaths for you to realize why you're always so exhausted, gasping for breath. It's because that's what state you were in when you last SAVED - tired, winded, eyes sore from crying and legs aching.
No more coming back fully awake. No more fresh start. You always come back out of breath. You always come back with your eyes heavy, your shoulders drooped, and your mouth hanging open to gasp in air.
But you're never allowed to catch your breath before it's stolen from you again.
You fall to your knees as you're brought back again, for maybe the hundredth time, "S-s-sa..s-sa-a-an-n-ns!" You cry out, staring at him with pitiful, pleading eyes.
"what's that, kid? you say something?" He grins back at you. His arm stretches out, and you immediately start screaming as you're pulled forward, thrashing and trying to dig in your heels.
"P-p-pl-le-ea-eas-se!" You choke, shielding your face from the hideous, terrifying sight of the Gaster Blasters.
"that isn't the magic word in this world, kid." He snaps his fingers, and you're gone.