AFTER EIGHTEEN
This is my version of what happens after Explosive Eighteen. I am just having fun with Janet Evanovich's kids. I make no profit. It's Cupcake all the way for me. I like Joe maybe because I'm Italian too, and I read between the lines a lot. I don't hate Ranger and he will be involved in the story as well. Anyway, hope you enjoy it, I've got a plan in my head and it will be quite a few chapters long before it's over.
And a huge thanks to Carol, for doing the Beta reading and putting up with my aggravating tense issues and my comma crazy tendencies as well. Your writing inspires me! And I really appreciate your encouragement to post this story.
Chapter One
I watched Joe down Annie Hart's potion in one big gulp, my mouth gaping open as I saw the instantaneous change in his eyes. My God where had that look come from? He was smiling at me as if there was no tomorrow. There was no cop face or Mystery Man chiseled mask. It was just Joe—my Joe—the Joe I'd loved ever since I can remember.
"Um, Joe, how do you feel?" I asked.
He thought for a moment. "Better." He finally said. "Warm." His eyes got dark and soft, the corners of his mouth tipped into a smile. "Very, friendly."
"Come here Cupcake."
He pulled me into his arms and began to nuzzle my neck, and I realized how much I'd wanted to be right there in his embrace all along. I'd wanted him with me in Hawaii. He'd been my choice—my first and only choice. If only he'd come with me, the week in Hawaii with Ranger would have never happened. I wanted Joe, and I was becoming afraid maybe he didn't want me anymore. Maybe work was just an excuse. Ranger had been a temptation I'd been too weak to resist, but losing Joe over it—not having him in my life had never been an option.
He breathed into my neck, tickling it with his tongue. Butterfly-like kisses grazed my collarbone, and I felt weak in the knees.
"Joe don't you remember, I need to shower," I reminded him lamely.
"Steph, I wish you'd choose me. I wish you loved me. I love you so much. I want you. I need you—I've always needed you." Joe whispered the words in my ear, and I felt my Jiminy Cricket conscience and the overwhelming guilt I'd been pushing aside fill my brain. I didn't deserve this man. I'd never felt I did and, in that moment, I realized I truly didn't.
Morelli apparently didn't sense any of my doubt because he lifted me up into his arms and continued to bestow me with compliments and kisses. "You're so sexy—so sweet—so beautiful." He carried me toward the bedroom, and I felt as though my knight in shining armor was slaying the fire-breathing dragon that had tried to infiltrate my mind. All I could think of now was getting to our bed and making mad passionate love.
Joe's arms deposited me softly onto the bed, and, to my surprise, he turned away and walked to the bathroom. I could hear him turning on the shower.
"No, Joe, I can shower later. Come, back here."
He complied like a good Navy man, and gently pulled me up off the bed, with one arm around my waist, and led me into the bathroom.
His fingers popped open the buttons on my shirt, and I felt the soft caress of his hands as they reached around my back to undo my bra. Little shivers of anticipation coursed through my body.
I tried to grab for the buttons on his shirt, but he backed away, preferring to undo the zipper of my holey blood stained, jeans instead. Before I knew it, I was standing there naked. Why was he still fully dressed? By now we'd be at cruising altitude heading straight to orgasm heaven. Why not tonight?
I felt Joe's gentle hands guide me into the shower, and, to my shock, he knelt down outside the tub. He grabbed the washcloth from the rack, wetting it thoroughly, and I watched him tenderly clean the caked blood off my wounded knees. After he finished, he placed a tender kiss on each one. He'd gotten his hair wet and his shirt was plastered to his back.
I couldn't take my eyes off him as he stood there smiling at me as though he worshipped me. Me? Why on earth would anyone ever look at me like that? I didn't merit this kind of devotion. If Joe knew what I'd been doing in Hawaii, and before that, right here in Trenton behind his back, he'd never look at me twice. He'd hate me forever.
I felt his hands encircle my naked body, and I knew he was finished playing around. I was about to be totally ravished, and it was fine by me. To be able to lose myself in his arms again would be paradise compared to the ping-pong game of guilty recriminations that kept zipping back and forth in my head.
But there was no crazy monkey sex—at least not yet. He propelled me gently toward the showerhead, indicating without words he wanted me to wet my hair. I felt the warm stream of water going over the nape of my neck and the back of my head as well as Joe's long sensuous fingers massaging shampoo into my hair. I could have died and gone to heaven then the feeling was so damn amazing. He rinsed my scalp, tenderly turning my head to get all the soapy water out.
"Joe… what's…"
He shook his head, touching my lips with his index finger. "No talking—just relax."
He took a fresh washcloth and applied soap to it slowly, methodically bringing my entire body to sudsy delight and working from back to front. He started at my neck and went all the way down my breasts—my abdomen—down my thighs—and I had sensual chills reverberating over my body.
I closed my eyes and relished his attention, smiling as I felt his hot steamy kisses trailing down my neck and my back. I knew the moment I'd been waiting for was at hand, and I was more than ready.
To my shock, he stepped out of the shower. He was dripping wet and his shirt had funny air pockets where it wasn't clinging to his body. His hair was a mess of wayward wet curls hugging his forehead and neck. He'd never looked sexier or more tantalizing. My body was trembling with the combination of deep sexual desire and goose bumps. He was going to undress now, and any minute he was going to put me out of my misery. I was so, so primed. His clothes were going to hit the floor and we would…
Wait for it…
"I'll be right back. You stay and rinse," he ordered softly.
What the hell was he up to? What had happened to my meat and potatoes in the sack Joe? It wasn't like him to prolong what we both were dying to do. I mean we both were, weren't we? Was this some kind of game he was playing like the time he handcuffed me to that very shower a few years ago? Why all the baiting and teasing? Foreplay was not normally high on Morelli's sexual to-do list.
I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel to wrap my hair. I could hear the sounds of smoky Jazz music filtering from the living room. As I grabbed another towel for my body, Joe reentered the bathroom shirtless. Okay, now we were getting somewhere!
His chocolate eyes darkened as he gazed at my glistening, wet skin. He reached out his hand to help me exit the shower. Taking the towel out of my arms, he methodically and sweetly dried my body. I sighed as I felt the fiber of the towel and the softness of his fingers ignite each and every one of my skin pores.
"Joe, I want…"
He shook his head, admonishing me again to be quiet and not say a word.
He removed the turban towel from my head, letting my wet curls splay down to my shoulders. Draping the towel behind my neck, he pulled it up over my head like a soft hood, sweetly tamping my hair to release all the extra moisture. We'd never had a spa night before, and I liked it—a lot.
He pulled me toward him, and I was so turned on I was practically salivating. He pushed me against the bathroom wall, his mouth descending on mine. I was so ready and willing. The combination of the cold tile and the heat of his kisses infiltrated my cells, and I became a whimpering mass of submission. Take me now. If he didn't I'd have to make him suffer!
He smiled, amused by what he must have seen on my face. Frustration—thy name is Stephanie. He scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bedroom, gently setting me on the bed so that my back was resting against the headboard. He quickly began to shed the rest of his clothing. YES!
As he undressed, I realized the room was lit only by candlelight. Wow, was all that for me? I took in the romantic setting, music and candlelight? Did my Morelli get abducted and leave Alien Joe in his place?
"You're pulling out all the stops," I murmured, feeling a little more in love with this Joe than I remembered.
He smiled that adoring quiet smile again. Why wasn't he talking?
Picking up a plate by the side of the bed, he sat beside me on the mattress, generously cutting a nice big forkful of our favorite chocolate cake. Thank God for baking mothers. I opened my mouth and savored his attention almost as much as the glorious cake.
"Mmmmm…this is good!" I whispered. Taking the fork from his hand, I fed him. His eyes lit up along with mine as we both remembered the first piece of cake we ever shared. We had a tradition of devouring cake in our own unique and decadent way.
He set the plate down. I knew we would be finishing it off before the night was over. As far as nights went, I'd be okay if this one never ended.
Joe watched me, the enjoyment shining in his eyes as I wriggled down onto a more accessible position on the bed. He shifted his body to rest his weight on his knees and straddled mine. I don't know if it was the heat from all the candles or me, but it was suddenly very hot in there.
"I'm so ready, Joe," I whispered.
"Not yet."
My eyes crinkled at the corners. This was reminding me of the first time we came back together after so many years apart. He'd made me wait then too, and it had been magical and entirely worth the wait. Sighing deeply, I searched for a smidgen of patience.
Morelli's eyes smiled into mine as he gathered my two hands into one of his, lifting them above my head. He pushed them down against the mattress and showered my eyes, earlobes, nose, throat, chin and finally my lips with kiss after enchanting kiss. My hands were itching to touch him back, but he wouldn't release them. He was definitely on a mission tonight.
The feel of his kisses and his tongue glazing my skin had me antsy to move ahead with this encounter.
"Joe?" I rasped, trying to free at least one hand to touch him.
"Not yet," he murmured against my breast.
I surrendered, relaxing and letting him to do as he desired—allowing the combination of tremors and heat flashes to envelope my senses. I moistened my lips as little hums emitted from my throat. I wanted to touch him back—to show him how much I needed him too. He must have read my mind because my hands were suddenly freed. I wondered if I was really awake because it all felt so dreamlike. I wanted to embrace him—to hold him close and feel only him.
He moved away, only allowing me to forage at the hair on the nape of his neck. His lips were busy moving over every inch of my skin. It was as though he was paying homage to me. It was simply beautiful. I couldn't help but giggle as his tongue tickled me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I felt like doing both as I inhaled deeply to handle the sensations captivating my body. I was wreathing in anticipation. Oh God! What was he doing to me? Did he know how much I love him? Where had he been all my life? I loved this man—only him—always him.
As his fingers teased my thighs, his lips danced across my stomach. I couldn't imagine waiting one moment longer. I needed to show him what he was doing to me. Finally, he poised himself over my body so I could show him. I pulled his face toward mine, kissing away the bruises on his face and the bandage on his sweet nose. I took his injured hand in mine and kissed each abrasion across his knuckles. I wished I'd never caused him doubt, worry or pain. I wished I'd never given him so many arguments and excuses. I wished I'd given myself to him completely ages ago.
Digging my fingers into the hair on the nap of his neck, I tugged on his mouth to meet my own and kissed him with everything I'd ever felt for him. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and pressed my lips against his—desperate for him to feel my yearning. I wanted him to know everything I was feeling. He needed to know how much I wanted him too.
Our hands locked—fingers intertwined, we finally became one. He pushed me down deeper into the bed. "You're the sweetest Cupcake ever," he whispered. His voice was raspy from the effort to hold back his passion. A lightning bolt of ecstasy soared through us, and, in perfect undulation, we reunited as one. Joe began to utter beautiful Italian words as he took me to the edge of euphoria and back.
"Tu sei il mio cuore e la mia anima,vivere senza di teè inimmaginabile. Ti amo con tutto quello che sono io, nel mio cuore per sempre, tu sei la mia felicità, il mio universo. Ti adoro." Oh my God Italian! I couldn't stop crying. Why was I crying? I never cried after sex. What had just happened?
"Are you okay, Cupcake?" Joe's fingers brushed against my wet cheeks, and my hand cupped his face. I felt lucky, so very lucky to have such a beautiful man in my life.
"I don't know why I'm crying. It was so beautiful, Joe." I must have sounded like a lunatic. "You've never spoken Italian before."
"So Italian makes you cry?"
"Italian, and how much I love you."
"I love you too, Cupcake—with every beat of my heart."
"Really? That much?"
"Steph, when you walk into a room, my world lights up. You don't even know how beautiful you are to me, do you?"
"No." I felt the urge to cry again, emotion welling in my throat. Joe was telling me what I'd longed to hear ever since he'd come back into my life.
"Well it's high time I told you then. I mean these things need to be said while I ..." He seemed to fumble for a moment and then his voice grew even more serious. "I'm in awe of you. I think I always have been a little—when you were six, sixteen and even when you were eighteen. There's always been something so amazing about you. You're feisty and full of life. You have tenacity and determination, and you're funny and sweet and irresistible. With you, what you see is what you get, and what I get with you is everything I've ever dreamed of or wanted. No, you're more than I ever dreamed you would be."
I couldn't believe the joy bursting in my heart. This was the Joe I'd been waiting for. This was why when I wanted to take my gun out of the cookie jar, load it and use it on him for target practice, I never did. This was why every time I left him I kept coming back. I could never leave him because he'd become a part of me so long ago.
"Morelli..." I started to tell him how sweet his words were to my ears.
"Shush, I'm on a roll."
I giggled softly because I didn't want to miss one lovely word. "You dream of me?"
"Of course I've been dreaming of you. I've always loved thinking of you, letting myself think of the possibility of you. I would never allow myself to believe in my wildest dreams you could ever actually be in my arms, in my heart and become a part of my soul."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we got off to a rough start, way too early, and I figured when we were banned from one another's life things would never change. Then when I'd see you as we got older that made me sad."
"It did?"
"Of course. I mean I was only eight when we did the garage thing, and I've always wanted to tell you it wasn't my idea. It was my damn brothers Tony and Paulie. They pushed me to do it by blackmailing me."
"How?"
"They threatened to tell my Dad I'd stolen the change he'd left on his dresser. He'd thrown a fit the night before—ranting, raving and threatening when he found out which one of us it was, the guilty one would be throttled within an inch of his life. I didn't do it. It was Tony. I knew if I refused to do what they wanted I'd get a lickin', and I hated getting whipped by him. So I did it. At the time, being with you seemed a way better prospect than the welts I would get from my dad."
"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?"
"Because, Cupcake, I didn't want to seem like I was making excuses. I was ultimately responsible for what happened, but I didn't want you to go on thinking it was something I contemplated and did to hurt you in any way. I was just a kid. I wasn't that crazy about girls yet."
"Oh Joe," I stroke the left side of his chest as my head nuzzled against his arm.
"I regret it, Steph. I can't tell you how much I regret it. If I had it to do over, I would gladly have taken the beating a hundred times over. I was eight, and I knew it was wrong somehow. With Tony and Paulie pushing it, it had to be bad. But I was scared shitless of my father, and I hated him!"
"I know, Joe. I know." Tears are welling in my eyes. He'd never spoken much about his dad, and I knew it was a deep wound that might never ever heal. I was crying for that little boy inside of Joe.
"I liked you. You were so adorable with those cute pigtails and big, huge blue eyes. And you trusted me. At the time I didn't know why but I liked that."
"I did trust you. I think it was because when I flew off the roof trying to be Wonder Woman and I ended up landing in the rose bushes, you gave me your hand and helped me up."
"To me you are Wonder Woman."
My eyes teared up again hearing those words coming from his mouth.
"You know, after I helped you out of the bushes, I got teased for weeks, but, hell I didn't care. I didn't want you to be embarrassed. I knew what that was like all too well, thanks to my stupid brothers."
I felt a whole new understanding for Joe. Suddenly I realized the huge odds that had been against Joe ever being able to become a successful, respected, loving, giving, caring hunk of a man. He'd surmounted those odds so amazingly well. The pride I felt about who he was—the man he'd become—swelled my chest.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered, wishing I could vanquish his pain.
"You're sorry!" Joe turned toward me, his eyes filled with remorse. "I'm the one who's sorry, Stephanie. You were just a little girl. I should never have laid a hand on you. If it were my innocent six-year old daughter, I'd have killed the person that laid a finger on her."
"We were both so young."
Joe nodded at me, the backs of his fingers brushing my cheek. "I know it's hard to believe this, but after it happened there was some kind of weird unspoken connection I felt to you. I'd see you over the years from a distance, and I'd think about you. I wondered what you were like and if we'd ever be able talk. I knew I was absolutely forbidden to be anywhere around you, after our Moms found out what happened in the garage. My mom kept it a secret from my dad, or I'd have gotten that whipping and then some."
"My mom never told my dad, either. That could be why you're still alive." I said teasingly. I wanted to lighten the mood for poor Joe.
"Do you remember the first time we...?"
"Of course I do! I'll never forget it. It was—"
"Me, being a complete ignorant fool again, taking you there like that! You deserved so much better! And me leaving to go into the Navy—what an idiot! I mean I came there to tell you I was leaving. I wanted to say goodbye. I guess after all those years of not being able to speak to you I wanted to see what you were like. You'd matured so much, and I couldn't get you out of my head. I'd see you in the halls at school, and I was attracted to you."
I shifted my body, so I could look at him as he was talking. This was something I'd longed to hear. I wasn't ever sure what the moments behind the éclair case at the Tasty Pastry had meant to him. I knew what they'd meant to me.
Joe was quiet for a while, and I know he was thinking about it as much as I was. I'd never forget it as long as I lived, and it never failed to make me cry when I allowed myself to think about it. No matter how many times I did, I always found myself wishing for a different ending, almost like a movie that ends sadly and you dearly wished it could have been a happy ending instead.
Flashback: Stephs POV
"Hi Stephanie."
"'Hi Joe. How's it going?"
"Fine. You?"
"Just busy with finals and uh…stuff."
"Oh, and you're working here now?"
"Yeah, you know saving up for college. Are you going to go to college?"
"Nah, I'm going to go into the Navy right after graduation."
"Really, that's great"' NOT! I felt my stomach twisting in disappointment.
"I just stopped by to get a cannoli."
"Navy… wow, you'll be a long way away."
"That's the idea."
"What kind of cannoli? Do you want it to go? We're closing soon."
"Do you have chocolate chip?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I think I'll have it here if that's okay."
"Sure. I'll just lock the front door now and open it when you're done."
My heart raced as I handed him the cannoil. My fingers brushed against his, and I felt my stomach lurch with excitement. I couldn't believe he was leaving Trenton—leaving me. I had no idea. I thought he would be here going to college. I was sure I'd see him, and finally I would get older and we'd run into one another. I fantasized about it all the time—how I'd be more sophisticated and more attractive like the girls he was always around at school. God I wished I were a senior! It sucked being a darn sophomore. Would he ever see me like that? Would he ever be attracted to me? Was I so far out of his league he'd never take a second look? I would never be Teri Grizzolli or a big- boobed cheerleader! He had winked at me a couple of times in the hall at school. I know he did, because after the first time he'd done it again two weeks later. I couldn't have imagined it twice. But maybe it was more like he thought of me like a kid sister. I couldn't believe how being around him made me feel like a tongue-tied nerd.
I watched him sit down at a table by the window, and he extended his hand and invited me to sit down too.
"It's good cannoli." He smiled. My legs felt weak. What a smile!
"Yeah."
"You have pretty eyes." His voice had deepened over the years.
My heart skipped a beat. "Thanks. You too." I felt the color fill my cheeks.
I loved that big grin of his. He was so gorgeous when he smiled. I saw a little bit of whip cream left on his lips. I reached out to swipe it away without even thinking.
"You have a little whip…" I reached out to touch his lips, and my heart zip-zapped.
"Thanks." His eyes were like chocolate pudding. I'd never realized how delectable they were.
"You want the last bite?"
I shook my head. I didn't trust myself to speak.
"You don't know what you're missing." His eyes were to die for!
"Yes I do." I was a woman who knew her pastries. You name it— I'd eaten it!
"Hey, do you want a ride home?" Duh…YEAH!
"Sure. I just have to put the trays in the walk-in." I heard my squeaky voice and wondered why I could barely speak.
"I'll help you."
"Okay." I handed him a tray, and we made several trips back and forth to the walk-in. You'd think I would have been chilled from repeated trips to an ice box, but my skin felt like it was on fire. I couldn't even describe how it felt to finally be this close to Joe Morelli!
We got to the last tray of cupcakes and grabbed for it at the same time. I pulled— he pushed, and our heads bumped accidently. I felt his hand reach out to steady my footing, and in the klutzy teen shuffle, a cupcake flew right into my cleavage. We managed to set the tray on the top of the case and simultaneously started laughing at my misfortune. Little did we know it was probably a bit of a foretelling of our future of me tracing skips, landing in garbage and being doused in paint and grease and any other kind of messy trash imaginable. And poor Joe! Always having to clean me up and rescue me from myself.
I felt joy spring in my heart. Laughing with Joe felt so good, and then suddenly the laughter stopped, and I could see his eyes darken into molten pools of chocolate icing. And man, I loved cake! I swallowed hard because the feelings enveloping me were things I'd never felt before. I could easily lose myself looking into those eyes. The embarrassment of being doused in cupcake vanished as I felt a primal urge to fling myself into his arms. Those eyes were beckoning me, and before I realized what was happening, he moved toward me.
I moved toward him as well, and those lips I'd wiped whip cream from were pressing into mine, cajoling me to respond. His tongue demanded I kiss him back, and oh I was, I am and it feels so delicious so perfect. God I can't get enough of him, I love the feel of his hands caressing me, I love the feel of his hard muscular body next to mine. It feels so right, like it is meant to be, Joe and Stephanie, Stephanie and Joe. He is leaving and I was going to miss him terribly. I heard soft murmurs and breathless panting and realized they were coming from me.
We stopped kissing long enough to shed our clothing and sink to the floor. I wanted him inside me. I wanted him to be a part of me. I couldn't wait for it. I was going to miss his smile—his eyes—his hands—everything. He needed to know how much he meant to me—how much he'd always meant to me.
I felt Joe's tongue lick at the smashed remnants of the cupcake. His tongue suckling against my skin had me shuddering in anticipation. Just as he thrust himself into my body, he whispered, "You're the sweetest cupcake ever!" I felt the momentary pain as he pushed into me, and then blissful rhythmic reverberations shook my senses to the core. I had become one with Joe Morelli, and I felt like my life had just begun.
I wished we could stay like this forever. Of course maybe we'd have to stop to eat once in awhile!
I felt the cold rush over me as he left my body. He stood and began dressing. I scurried to do the same. Why was this so awkward now when it had felt perfect a couple of minutes ago? I felt his eyes on me, and I looked deep into his. It felt like an eternity, but it was mere seconds. My body was shaking so much I could hardly stand. I wished I could think of something to say—like you just shook me to the core of my being! Don't go. Stay and have sex with me forever. I love you.
He was speaking, and I had to force myself to keep those feelings inside.
"I gotta go."
"Good luck in the Navy."
"I forgot, I was supposed to give you a ride." Awe, he was so cute—that sheepish smile and little wink!
"That's okay. I forgot to take care of the cakes in the window". I heard the shaking in my voice. I hoped he didn't notice.
There was that dead silence again. It felt like a million words would never fill it.
"You gotta let me go…"
"What? Oh, yeah, the door." I felt his body swishing past me, and it was all I could do not to reach out and stop him from leaving. I just wanted him to stay forever. Damn my hands were shaking so badly I could barely get the key in the lock. I felt the heat envelope me, as his hand moved over mine to steady it, and I finally was able to turn the key.
"Take care Cupcake." My heart skipped as he winked one last time.
And then he was gone.
End of Flashback.
I felt Joe's fingers playing with mine as we held hands. Neither one of us had to speak. We both know where our thoughts had been. And as always a few tears made their way down my cheeks.
"Cupcake, are you okay?"
"I just remember it so clearly, as if it were yesterday."
"Me too."
"Sometimes it feels like we're still those two scared and horny teenagers who don't know how to talk to each other when we need to say words the most." I heard Joe's sad laughter, and I knew he agreed.
"Maybe we've grown up a little. I like to think we have."
I couldn't answer him because my behavior lately had been anything but grown-up.
I scrambled out of his arms, twisting around to lean my back against his upraised knees and began to trace little circles around the eagle tattooed on his chest. This intimacy was new to me, and it was what had been missing all this time. God, I'd been such a fool. He was opening up to me like he'd never done before, and I knew in my heart and soul he was the one I chose. He'd been my choice forever.
"Stephanie, I'm sorry about our first time. I should have been gentler with you. It was your first time. I knew it, and yet I wasn't considerate enough when I realized you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I couldn't control things back then like I should have, and I felt really bad for hurting you."
"Joe, it may not have been slow or romantic, or even loving, but it was fiery and passionate and mind-blowing, and I wouldn't change it now for anything."
"Really?"
"Would you? Do you regret it?"
"Cupcake, I'll never regret one moment I've spent with you."
My eyes smiled up into his, and inside I wanted to cry because I felt tremendous guilt. I'd always projected my feelings of inadequacy onto Joe. I blamed him for not understanding me, for judging me to be incompetent and for not allowing me to do what made me happy. I always thought he wanted to change me, but he hadn't been saying that at all. Maybe I was so insecure about myself I'd assumed he'd an agenda for me and wanted me to fit into his idea of the perfect wife.
"You don't even regret all the times you've rushed to my rescue?"
Joe smiled at me and shook his head. The candlelight flickered, and his eyes shone lovingly into mine. "Steph, I don't regret any of what we've had. Every day with you is anything but boring, and as much as you drive me crazy, I wouldn't change anything except you being safe. I can't help it, sweetheart. The thought of finding you hurt—or worse—is something I can't even imagine. You have no idea how devastated I'd be."
"You just want me safe? You don't want me to stop bounty hunting anymore?"
"The truth?"
"Yes."
"I knew you had great instincts from the beginning when you and I started working together. You were a natural in the way you thought and put the pieces of the puzzles together. Your mind definitely works in mysterious ways, and it was pretty amazing to be there to see you discover a talent you never knew you had. It was fun—so much fun to watch you evolve. At first you had no clue what the hell you were doing, but that didn't stop you—not for a minute, and God, I admired that about you."
I couldn't believe this was Joe! He wasn't yelling or putting me down. He wasn't defensive or argumentative. He was being open and sweet.
"Really, you admire me?"
"Steph, if I had to go down a list of the ways you've amazed and surprised me, we'd be here for days."
"I've got time." I teased him.
"I'd feel better if I knew you'd be careful and take every precaution to train yourself a little more in order to cope with those crazies you run into all the time. I can't imagine the heartache I'd feel if I came to the scene of one more, crazy explosion and found out you were gone for good." I heard the break in Joe's voice and suddenly I felt very small.
"I want you safe too, Joe. If anything were to ever happen to you—" I felt tears pool in my eyes. "Why haven't you ever opened up to me like this before. Is it because of Ran—"
He put his finger to my lips. His jaw hardened for a moment then his features softened again.
"I want tonight to be for us."
"Me too." I want every day and night to be for us from now on.
He cupped his hand under my chin. "You know I love you right?"
"Yeah, I love you too."
"You know I'd die for you?" I saw Joe's eyes gleaming in the candlelight. I couldn't be sure, but it almost looked as though they were moist with tears.
"Yeah, but don't."
"Not planning to, but if it came up, I thought you should know I'm okay with it."
"You rescue me all the time. Don't you dare ever die on me."
"You are my world. And the thing I want more than anything else is for you to be able to fly just like you always wanted. And I'm going to see that it happens for you. I promise."
Joe's eyes sparkled with the depth of his vow, and I believed him. My heart and soul soared with my belief in him—and in us. At last there was no more turmoil, and I knew the man I wanted was here, kissing me passionately and whispering to me softly as he pulled my body on top of his. I knew he would be with me forever.