This is a Crack!Fic dedicated to and inspired by Andrea (thereisnosp00n on LJ).
I don't own shit, so leave me alone
Cursing btw wink
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A Motel Room:
OOOOOoooooouuuuu POP!
Dean was slouched in a sunken recliner in front of a now blank screened TV (the boys never get a break, not even when it comes to mediocre appliances).
"Damn…" he said quietly to the empty room, not moving from his relaxed position in the old chair.
"What to do now…" he said propping his leg higher, resting his head against the worn corduroy and closing his eyes.
Dean and Sam were currently "in between jobs" in a matter of speaking.
But not for good reason, no.
Last night on their previous job, Dean had been the one to fall in a cemetery and temporarily twist his right ankle.
And because Dean was slightly a bit "prickish" (A/N I'm calling him a prick!) about Sam driving his car, he decided that holding up in a motel for a couple of days of much needed recuperation was a better idea.
Sam was currently restocking their much needed first-aid kit.
And Dean was going slowly mad out of boredom.
The room had seemed quiet, but now Dean began noticing that the clock behind the TV was clicking and ticking monotonously annoyingly.
It was one of those and black and white cat clocks with a swinging tail and matching moving eyes that glided side to side with the seconds that passed.
Without the TV to drown out the noise, it was now on Dean's full attention.
"Stupid cat" he mumbled aloud
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
"Who the hell would buy that anyways?"
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
"Okkk, enough of the annoying clock!" Dean said now trying to right the recliner so he could stand more easily
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
Dean began putting pressure on his right foot and slowly hissed as it lay softly on the ground.
tick tock tick tock
As Dean began hobbling towards the clock he heard the bolts being deciphered as Sam's key was placed in the lock.
Not bothering to turn around at his brother's known entrance; Dean began slowly stretching his arms towards the cat clock.
"Dean, I'm back… gotcha some-…" Sam walked into the motel room with his arms loaded with paper grocery bags.
He stopped when he noticed that Dean was not resting like he was suppose to be, and in fact was midway leaning over the TV reaching for the ugly cat clock on the far wall.
"Dude what are you doing?" he asked his brother
"Well Sammy…" Dean began still focusing on reaching for the clock
"I'm going to just rip this here bastardly creation of a clock here off the wall, and then I'm going to fill it full of lead." He said finally grasping the clock
tick tock ti—MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!!!!!!
"Oh HELL no!" Dean yelled throwing the clock as hard as he could against the far wall.
"Me-o" "BAM!" Dean shot at the clock right between the pendulum eyes. (Let's pretend no one heard a gun shot in the motel)
The plastic eyes fell resting, gazing towards the old carpeting.
"Yeah!" Dean exclaimed replacing his gun back in it's rightful place and sitting back down in his chair.
"Jesus Dean! Was it really that annoying?!?" Sam asked placing the groceries down on a nearby table.
"Yes, Sammy, yes it w--what the hell is on your head?" Dean gasped finally looking at his younger brother since walking into the room.
"It's my new hat, I don't want to cut my hair and this keeps it out of my face." Sam said as he began putting things away in the big white First Aid box.
"Yes Sam, I know what a hat is… why is yours something out of Doctor Seuss though?"
"Oh, well. I thought it looked cool, you know different cool." Sam said standing tall and taking his felt stovepipe hat off his head to examine it.
It was multicolored to say in least, as it bore broad contrasting colored stripes of purple, red, yellow, green, with a black rim.
"You are kidding me right?" Dean asked in disbelief
"Well I'm not going to wear it on hunts if that's what you mean, it kinda stands out ya know?"
"Sam, you're not wearing that hat at all. It's even more of a monstrosity than that damn clock!" Dean exclaimed
"Dude, it's my head, my hair, and my hat. So screw off!" Sam huffed walking across the room.
"Yeah? Well you're MY little brother and your not wearing that damn hat!" Dean retorted getting out of his seat and began limping towards his annoying younger brother.
Dean got close enough to Sam and grabbed the hat off his head.
"Hey! Gimmie back my hat!" Sam screeched walking towards the slowly moving older man
"No! It's ugly as fuck and you're not going to taint the Winchester name by wearing it!!!" Dean limped towards the bathroom
"I think the Winchester name is about tainted as it's going to get Dean! Give it back!"
Sam ran ahead and blocked the bathroom door, gathering what he knew his brother was about to do.
"Move Sam…" Dean said quietly the hat in a death grip
"No Dean come on man, it's jus—a HEY!!"
Dean slipped underneath Sam's arm and hobbled to the toilet and stuffed the hat into the bowl as deep and he could and then yanked his hand out before the water closed over his hand.
"Oh you shit head!" (A/N Yeah… I can't really imagine Sammy saying that but meh)
"It was for the good of humanity Sammy. Remember that." Dean said after washing his hands and patting Sam on the chest for emphasis and to dry his hands, walked back into the room.
Sam was staring into the bowl at his ruined hat (because it was ruined… someone didn't flush) when he heard Dean yell from the other room.
"I'll get you another hat for your monster hair, you baby!"
The brothers were once again driving.
Dean with his healed ankle and a giant grin on his face replaced the music with a newly inserted Black Sabbath cassette.
Sam was once again staring out the window, now sporting a CAT industry baseball cap on top of his head.
"Aww come on Sammy… I like the new hat! It fits you fine!" Dean exclaimed to his brooding companion
"I hate you… you know that right?" Sam asked keeping his eyes on the moving scenery
"Shuddup Sammy and enjoy how hospitable your older brother is when he gives you a present…"
"PRESENT!?!?!?" Sam completely lost it and turned towards Dean
"You GLUED a baseball cap to my HEAD you bastard!!!! Sam screamed
"Oh it will come off sooner or later… your just gonna have to take a few showers with your new CAT hat is all. Think of it as "breaking it in"." Dean countered smiling some more.
"So much anger…" Sam mumbled resting his head against the side window and clenching his eyes as tight as he could
DONE
Ok! So this was a fic inspired a misunderstanding I had with my friend Andrea about a picture Jared Padalecki wearing a CAT hat…
I thought she meant like a hat shaped like a hat…
… She meant the construction guys CAT