Failure

Tristan finally got his tie to tie correctly as he looked at himself in the mirror. He did a few poses and smiled at himself.

"Fabulous, as always." He said to himself.

Today was the day of his first ever high school play. He had gotten the lead part of Gary, the clean-cut jock of Landaway High. Tris had worked extra, extra hard on this play. He cancelled his plans with Tori, he didn't let Zig bother him, even though they had become best friends over time, and only talked to Maya to run over lines. The play became his life for the past 3 months. As he gave himself one final wink in the mirror and strutted out of the bathroom and into the room of his jock older brother.

"Hey Owen. Are you ready?" he asked his brother. He wasn't dressed for anything but a Friday night at home.

"What would I be ready for?" he asked.

"You're not going?"

"Going? Going where?"

"My play. I told you it was this Friday." He said.

"Oh. Well, no. I'm not going. You know plays aren't my scene."

"B-But…"

"Tristan… No. I'm not going."

Tristan felt his stomach drop at his brother's cold rejection. He knew Owen wasn't the theater type, but he thought that, for once, he'd make ONE exception for his little brother. But just like every other times, he had thought wrong.

"Can you at least give me a ride?" he asked.

"I actually paid for your bus pass for the month." He said, throwing it to him. "Forgot to tell you about that.

Tristan sighed. "You're not even going to give me a ride?"

"Look Tris. I've had a long day. I don't feel like leaving the house for anything today. I kinda got rejected by this girl I liked."

Tristan shook his head. Was there any way in the world that his brother could give anything close to a damn about his little brother? But he quickly erased that from him mind.

"I'm playing a jock, if that makes you feel any better."

"Ok? That's nice I guess."

"He's also straight…"

"Tristan, you know I don't care about that anymore."

Tristan looked down at his feet again. "Fine, I guess I'll take the bus then." He said, turning around to walk away. He stopped for a second to ask one more question.

"Owen?"

"Whaaaat?" he whined.

"Are you at least happy for me?" he asked with sad eyes.

"Whatever." Was all that came from his mouth.

Tristan almost cried. "F-Fine. I'll just go then." He said. "I… I love you."

"Tris…"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when we had that talk about what regular guys don't say to each other?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Well, that was one of them." He snapped, pretty much ending the conversation for him.

"B-But we're…" he sighed. "Bye." He said, walking down the stairs to do his play alone once again. He sat down by the bus stop and waited for his bus to come.

Owen was taking a nap when he suddenly he heard his phone ring.

"Goddammit. Someone better be dying!" he exclaimed looking at the caller ID. Tristan.

Owen was confused. He looked at the clock and saw that it had only been an hour after he left. He knows the bus was supposed to get there in 30 minutes and the trip should've been less time. He groggily answered his phone.

"What is it Tristan?"

The voice that responded, however, was not Tristan. It was Tori. She sounded very upset and was talking in a speed that Owen simply couldn't understand.

"Slow down little girl. What are you doing with Tristan's phone?"

"T-T-Tristan's bus crashed." Tori said through her tears. "They're t-taking him to the hospital now. They said they don't know if he's g-g-gonna m-make it."

Owen froze. "Oh my God…" Without another word, he hung up, put on his shoes and sprinted to his car. As he fumbled with his keys in frustration, he stuck it in the ignition and sped all the way to the hospital. His big brother side began to kick in and he actually felt his stomach drop and his body tense up. In less than 10 minutes, he was already at the hospital.

He ran through the hospital and found Tori with her head in her hands and Maya was comforting her. Zig was pacing the floor with tears in his eyes. Even Adam and Drew had showed up. Owen remembered Tris telling him about meeting Adam, and Drew already knew him from the numerous times he came to his house.

"Guys?" Owen called out. Everyone's head shot up at Owen. He could hear Drew whisper 'crap' to himself. Zig and Tori both sighed and Adam just stared. They all didn't look too happy to see him. "Do you guys know anything yet?"

"No, not yet." Zig said in a shaky voice.

Everyone was still giving him the stink-eye. "What's with the dirty looks?"

Tori spoke up. "You're a real bastard, you know that?"

Owen's face scrunched up in anger. "Watch who you're ta-"

"Tristan called me in TEARS right before he got on the bus telling me all about how you practically gave him a stiff arm when it came to the play. You couldn't even give him a ride! He worked so hard on this play and you didn't even care! What kind of brother are you?" she screamed as tears streamed down her face in anger and sadness.

It was Zig's turn to say something. "I have no fucking idea how he could look up to someone like you. You nonstop treat him like crap! My best friend could die because of YOU!" Zig yelled.

Owen felt sick to his stomach. They were right, both of them. He felt like a terrible, terrible person. His brother is in the ICU and it's all his fault. He tried his hardest not to cry when he felt Drew put a hand on his shoulder, signifying his loyalty. Drew was highly disappointed in him, but remembered that this is killing him inside.

"He'll be alright, Owen. Don't give up hope." He told him.

Suddenly, a doctor walked into the room. "Milligan family?"

Owen's head shot up quickly. "That's us. Please, please tell me he's ok."

"Well, we only give information to fam-"

"I'm his older brother… Please just tell me he's ok. He's all I got. I don't know how I'd be without him."

"I know he was all you had…"

Owen nodded, but when he finally realized what the doctor had said, his eyes widened and began to fill with tears. "Had?"

"Your brother's injuries were way too severe to recover. We did all we could to save him but… he didn't come back."

Tori began to weep as Maya held her, shedding a few tears as well.

"No…" Zig said. "No! There has to be more you can do!" he screamed, angry tears falling.

"Son, I'm sorry but-"

"NO! Save him! Save him please! He's my best friend! I can't lose him, I need him!"

"I'm sorry, kids." The doctor said, now walking away.

Zig started sobbing. "GET BACK HERE! Save him! Save him!" he screamed as Tori, Maya, and Adam tried to compose him. Zig finally sat in a chair and cried his eyes out.

Owen's facial expression was blank. Blank and emotionless as he was still standing in the very same spot. He was slightly shaking as the tragedy had began to sink in. Drew, backing away from the cry fest to his right (he didn't know anyone but his brother), saw Owen and walked in front of him.

"Owen, I'm so sorry." He said sadly.

"I… I…" Owen couldn't speak. Drew then wrapped his arms around Owen, starting to tear up himself at the sight of his internally broken friend. Owen didn't hug back, though, and this worried Drew. Drew let go of him.

"Owen?" he asked. "Owen, say something please." Drew pleaded.

Owen opened his mouth to say something, but didn't and began to walk away to his car.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" screamed Zig as he left.

Owen drove back to his house and ran into Tristan's room. He saw a bunch of flyers and pamphlets about the play he was going to be in. He looked on his bed and found the script.

Landaway High

Leads: Eleanor Winston and Tristan Milligan.

Owen sat on Tristan's bed and began reading it. He actually found himself enjoying it. He even had a laugh here and there. As he finished, he went back into his room and fell asleep, hoping to wake up and have this all be a dream.

It's been a week since Tristan's untimely death and it was the day of the funeral. Owen was trying to tie his and was getting very frustrated. He tried once more and once again failed.

"Damnit!" he yelled. "Tris! Could you help me wi-" he started. He then sighed, ripping off the tie in anger. Owen decided to leave it at home and go to the funeral without it.

As he got to the funeral, he found the niners, once again giving him dirty looks. Owen just sat down in a corner by himself.

Meanwhile, Drew had also arrived with Adam.

"Do you know how Owen's doing?" Adam asked.

"I honestly have no idea. He won't talk to me… He won't talk to anyone." Drew answered.

"What do you think is wrong with him? I haven't even seen him cry yet."

"Neither have I… He's probably in shock so his emotions are bottling. It's only a matter of time before it all comes out." Drew said, looking at his friend in the back corner.

The service began with a few hymns which Owen took no part of. A few people like Tori and Zig went up to say a few words abut their fallen friend. A few laughs went around the church as they reminisced some humorous times they had with Tristan. But Owen's face stayed neutral. He didn't feel at all the need to laugh. It was HIS brother in the casket in front of them. He didn't find it very satisfying at all.

'So this day was supposed to be funny?' He thought to himself. 'I see nothing humorous about today. People should be mourning. My brother is dead for-'

"Owen?" The priest had interrupted his thoughts. "Would you like to say a few words on your brother's behalf?" he said to him. Owen hesitated on answering, but he figured people should really hear what he thought. He stood up and walked slowly to the podium. Most of the crowd looked at him with disgust, the rest looked at him with sympathy.

"Uh…" he started. "I know a lot of you aren't exactly happy to see my face today but… like it or not I'm here… You know that theory that everything happens for a reason, and that God is supposed to have some sort of 'plan'?" he asked the crowd.

"Well, if there actually was a God, I'd ask why? Why would God take my baby brother away? My rock, my reason for living, my… My Tris. I don't understand. This is supposed to be apart of some kind of plan? You've taken my parents and now… now you've taken all I had left… I guess that's my fault though. Right, everyone?" he said. Zig and Tori were still angry, but they felt sympathy as well.

"You're right though… It is my fault. All I had to was care. And at that moment I didn't. Key words: at that moment. Before anyone points the finger at me, I want you all to know that I loved Tristan more than anything in the world. Yeah, I'm overly stricken by my stupid male pride. I'm aware of that now." He said.

"I've been silent this passed week, I know, but I think it's time I let my feelings go." He said, his voice cracking. "I miss him… I miss him so much. My little guy is gone now and it's all my fault." He said, looking up and starting to cry. "What kind of 'plan' involves taking people that are loved by others? Well I'll tell you something. It's bullshit. It's all BULLSHIT!" he screamed into the microphone. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the majority of the crowd was wide-eyed. He looked at everyone, then quickly walked down the aisle and out of the church.

He was shaking as he fumbled several times with his keys to drive away to his house. As he arrived at his house, he went inside and became a whirlwind of destruction. He punched about seven holes in the walls and knocked down anything he could put his hands on. He went upstairs and looked at himself in the mirror.

"You're a failure, Owen. A fucking FAILURE!" he screamed, punching the mirror. The glass shattered, shards of the mirror flying into his arms and face. He left the bathroom and went into Tristan's room, sitting on his bed. As he buried his head into his hands, sobbing, he looked to the left and saw a picture of the two of them. Owen grabbed the photo and saw the date: April 4 2011. It was one of those days where the both of them were getting along very well. He could remember the day perfectly. They were both playing Call of Duty for hours on end and for the first time, Tristan actually beat him. That was one of the things he liked about him. Even though he was gay, he was secretly a huge gamer, just like Owen. He picked up the picture, realizing he had never seen it there before. Owen stared at the picture for a few moments, then tightly hugged it. He fell over onto his side and began t sob loudly. His brother, and truly his best friend, was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.

"Owen?" he heard someone say. Owen rolled over and saw Drew, Adam, Maya, Tori, and Zig standing before him. He sat up.

"W-What are you doing h-here?" he asked them all.

"We were worried about you." Maya spoke up.

"All of us." Zig added.

Owen felt tears fill his eyes water again.

"Owen… we didn't know." Tori said. "We never knew how much he meant to you. We're so sorry."

"We all are." Adam said.

Owen looked away from everyone, ashamed. Drew sat down next to him and put an arm around his friend. "We're here now, Owen. It's ok, we're here."

Owen looked down and began to sob again. "I loved him you guys. I loved him so much. I'm such a BASTARD!" he yelled, falling apart in Drew's arms.

Zig felt his pain through his tears and began to cry also. He couldn't help but join the hug. Everyone else, one by one, began to join the embrace. Though Owen had no idea when he was going to get over this, he felt a sense of comfort. For once, he let his emotions run free. Even though he was the oldest of the group, he cried freely.

Everyone let go of him. "They waited for you with the burial… Did you still want to see it?" Maya asked.

Owen sniffled and wiped his eyes. "Yeah… Yeah, I do."

So the six of them rode, in Owen's car, back to the funeral. They all walked together to the graveyard. As they lowered Tristan's coffin into the six-foot-deep hole in the ground, Owen said a silent prayer to himself, hoping that Tristan would be a guardian angel to him. He wanted to be watched over by him. Tristan was finally buried. Owen gave him one final wave.

"I love you kiddo. I just can't believe you loved me too." He said. And as he wiped the last of his tears, he walked away.

This was indeed the longest oneshot I've ever written. I hope you all enjoyed it. Review por favor?