You know when you're TOTALLY bored in a Language class, while everyone's working on a stupid report you know you just don't want to write even though you have to hand in, and you grab a paper and start writing whatever your hand wants to write, and suddenly you look down at the paper and you've written something just awesome? Well. It happens to me often. And I just had to post this.
To the tune of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb,' a short summary of New Moon :)
Edward had a little lamb,
Little lamb,
Little lamb!
Edward had a little lamb that was in love with him.
He saved Bella from her death,
From her death,
From her death!
He saved Bella from her death but now she wants to die.
Jasper tried to drink her blood,
Drink her blood,
Drink her blood!
Jasper tried to drink her blood and it pissed Edward off.
Edward told her 'I don't love you,'
'I don't love you,'
'I don't love you!'
Edward told her 'I don't love you, go and fuck and the dog,
(and the cat!)'
Bella was all kind of emo,
Kind of emo,
Kind of emo!
Bella was all kind of emo, she just needed a hug.
So she went to sob with Jacob,
Sob with Jacob,
Sob with Jacob!
So she went to sob with Jacob who was so big and hot,
(literally!)
Jakey turned into a dog,
Into a dog,
Into a dog!
Jakey turned into a dog and told Bella to fuck off.
Bella told him, 'I don't care,'
'I don't care,'
'I don't care!'
Bella told him, 'I don't care,' and Jake fell in love with her,
(once again!)
One day she jumped off a cliff,
Off a cliff,
Off a cliff!
One day she jumped off a cliff and Alice told her off,
(she was sad!)
They took a plane to Volterra,
To Volterra,
To Volterra!
They took a plane to Volterra to save Edward from his death.
Bella and Alice saved the day,
Saved the day,
Saved the day!
Bella and Alice saved the day and they went back to Forks.
Edward said, 'Please marry me,'
'Marry me,'
'Marry me!'
Edward said 'Please marry me,' but he was totally BUSTED!
Jacob was a fucking bastard,
Fucking bastard,
Fucking bastard!
Jacob was a fucking bastard and made Charlie kill Bells
(and the bike!)
This is were New Moon ends,
New Moon ends,
New Moon ends!
This is were New Moon ends, and Eclipse comes out.
In Eclipse Bella's horny,
Jacob's a raper,
Edward's still hot!
B&E will get married, and Jacob's all alone.
THE END :)