For Iluvbeyblade - Merry Christmas Squish

Cat Calls

Kai reached out, his hand flailing blindly at the bedside table, trying to get his fingers onto the beeping and vibrating phone that was juddering across the wood. At the rate he was going the damned thing would stop ringing before he found it, in which case when he did find it he was going to turn it into so much broken plastic. But evidently the person on the other end had something they really needed to say and after a little more wild grabbing his hand closed around the vibrating menace.

Eyes scrunched up against the brightness of the managed press the right buttons to stop the noise before jamming the thing irritably against his ear. An action with coincided with the person next to him in bed rolling over grumpily and catching him in the ribs with a elbow that was sharper than it had any right to be.

"What?" He growled out, trying to make the one word convey just how annoyed, angry and aggravated (as well as a few other words not necessarily starting with 'A') he was. It was a lot of feeling to pack into four letters but Kai managed it not least because he was sure he could already feel a bruise forming on his ribs.

"I'm pregnant!" The words were shouted out with such force, not to mention volume, that if he'd been any position to do so Kai would have jerked the phone away from his abused ear. Hampered as he was by the bed, the covers and the squirming body lying next to him all he could was twist around and squint at the screen. 'Rei Kon' was clearly displayed on the screen, confirming what the familiarity of the voice had told him. But it didn't change the fact that the words that had been yelled at him made no sense.

"Did you hear me?" The disembodied voice once again filled the air and brow furrowed in confusion Kai once again placed the phone to his ear. It was too early in the morning to be early in the morning, and was also too early for him to have to deal with whatever nonsense he friend was rambling, or more accurately, raving about.

"Yeah, I heard." Though he didn't understand what the hell the other blader was going on about. He was just opening his mouth to say as much when the bedside lamp was switch on and flooded the room with painfully bright light. Through watering eyes Kai saw Ming-Ming, tousled haired and sleep addled, glaring a question at him.

"Rei." He said, giving a slight 'what can you do' sort of shrug and was unsurprised when this did absolutely nothing to sooth the temper of the woman in bed with him. The pint sized pop princess held very strong views on what should be done to people who interrupted her precious eight hours.

"I know who I am." The disembodied voice on the phone said, and for a moment the tone implied that Kai was exactly firing on all mental cylinders. "I said I'm pregnant."

"What's he say?" Ming-Ming said at practically the same moment. Though her words were somewhat distorted by a yawn, which was big enough that it caused her jaw to pop loudly.

"I'm pregnant." Kai snapped, irritated not only by having his sleep disrupted by a friend who was soon be come an enemy. But also because Ming-Ming was still glaring at him as if he was somehow responsible. If he had been thinking straight rather than having his mind half drowned in sleep there was no way he would have repeated Rei's words verbatim. It was just asking for trouble.

"You too?" Came the amazed response from the phone, the words floating into his right ear and causing him to physically flinch. The excitement in Rei's voice had flashing warning signs about double celebrations while the way Ming-Ming had frozen promised more immediate problems.

"You're pregnant!?" Her voice was a low dangerous hiss and her eyebrows had shot so far up her forehead that they almost vanished into her hairline. A clear indication that she had gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick and was now holding on tight.

"No I'm not." Kai snapped, not too sure if he was more irritated with Rei or Ming-Ming, and for a moment wished all three of them were in the same room so that he could bang their heads together. "And I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's physically, not to mention biologically, impossible."

"Huh? What d'you mean impossible?" And there was just something in Rei's tone that made it clear he was thinking 'they've been together how long and he still doesn't know how…?' which made Kai seethe. Then the tone became one of confusion and mild irritation. "And why did you say you were if you're not?"

"Why would he say that if you weren't? And how would he know anyway?" There was nothing like an early morning phone call to arouse the suspicions of a girlfriend and when you started tossing around words like pregnant…. It was a miracle in and of its self that Ming-Ming hadn't yet started to scream.

"What d'you mean your pregnant?" Kai muttered, shoving unruly slate bangs out of his face as he gave the bluenette next to him a withering look. It didn't work, she ignored his expression and kept on glaring and the moment he moved his hand the hair fell back into his face.

"Well we are." Now, if anything, Rei sounded defensive as if his team mate had questioned his honesty. If anything what had been in question was the Chinese blader's sanity, though he was at last starting to make something a bit more like sense.

"We are?" Kai queried and understanding finally started to dawn. It had apparently dawned on Ming-Ming too though not in quite the same way. Some people could go from fast asleep to wide awake with hardly a breath between them the girl currently in his life was evidently not one of them.

"You are Rei are having a baby!" A stupid comment which, apart from earning an eye roll, Kai completely ignored. There were times when he found himself wondering if over espouser to bright lights and hairspray had turned Ming-Ming into the airhead so many people took her for.

"Mariah." The stoic Russian muttered into the phone, he should have been able to work that one out. Hell, if Rei had had the sense to call at any other time than 4:30 in the damn morning, thus jerking him out of the deepest of deep sleeps, he would have worked that out.

"You and Mariah are having a baby!" Ming-Ming yelled, proving to Kai that it would probably be a good five minuets before her brain woke up enough to properly process what was going on. So as she tensed getting ready to spring Kai, gently but firmly, shoved his palm into her face and kept pushing until she was once again flying flat on the bed.

"That's what I said!" The neko-jinn had the gall to sound a touch exasperated though it was mostly lost under his excitement. Never the less it was there and made Kai think longingly of hurling the phone away until it hit the wall and smashed into plastic fragments.

"No, you rang me up and yelled down the phone that you were knocked up." He groused making sure to keep his hand firmly over his girlfriend's mouth even as she clawed at his fingers. Her normally warm golden eyes were now flashing an blazing amber and if it weren't for the fact he was keeping her at arms length she probably would have given up on his hand and tried to scratch out his eyes in stead.

"You know what I mean." Rei's tone was dismissive, as if he had been making total sense and it was somehow Kai's fault for failing to understand the meaning behind the utter nonsense his sometime friend and team mate had been spouting. People, Kai thought morosely as he looked at the squirming woman he was currently holding down on the bed, were seriously over rated.

"I do now." Kai muttered and then hissed and one of Ming-Ming's pearlescent painted nails bit deep into the back of his hand and almost broke the skin. She was also hissing and spiting in such a way that even the neko-jinn on the other end of the phone would have been impressed. "Look I'm happy for you both but do think we could wait until daylight to carry on this conversation?"

"Sure, I just had to tell you y'know." They muttered a few more farewells and were just about to hang up when Rei said, "Is that Ming in the background, she sounds wild about something. Everything good with you two?"

Kai growled something unintelligible in response to that totally unhelpful comment and savagely ended the call. He also hastily pulled his hand away from Ming-Ming's face, he was sure he had felt her teeth start to sink into his palm, and with the pressure relieved she popped up like a psychotic jack-in-the-box.

"Well!?" She demanded, the way the azure curls tumbled and fell around her face was decidedly cute but did nothing to hide the decidedly homicidal glint in her eye. They said that good things came in little packages but Kai put more faith in the fact that poison also came in little bottles.

"Rei and Mariah are having a baby." He said still carefully eyeing the beds other occupant and wondering, not for the first time, if it might not be in his best interest to start sleeping with some sort of weapon under his pillow purely in the name of self-preservation. Currently a chainsaw sounded good, or maybe a case of C4.

"Really?" The bluenette questioned, for some reason turning her head so that she could glare at him suspiciously from the corner of her eye. "Not you?"

"No, not me." Kai reassured and watched as Ming-Ming subtly relaxed turning from predator ready to spring into something softer and more sensual. "In no way shape or form am I having a baby."

The next day, when he and Ming-Ming stared in stunned disbelief at the home pregnancy test, Kai seriously regretted tempting fate with those words.

(A/N) This is something that just popped into my head and wouldn't leave me be until I wrote it. And here was me thinking the time of gift fics was far behind me.

Lamanth xx