After ACP, Daya and Freddy left Abhijeet crushed down on sofa. He held his head in between his hands.
'Uff this headache.'
His phone vibrated. He turned his head a little to see the caller id. It's Tarika. His head was aching a lot, like it would burst out. He ignored the phone.
A few while later his phone vibrated again. This time he picked up the phone.
"Hello."
"Tum.. thik toh ho na?" Tarika asked from other side.
"Haan.. mujhe kya hoga!"
"Nahi.. tumhare awaz."
"Mai thik hu. Tum thik ho na? Ghar pohoch gai na thik thak?"
"Haan, Vivek chodke gaya hai... Tumne phone nahi kia.. etna waqt ho gaya.. toh socha mai hi kar lu."
"Oh.. mai, bus.. abhi free hua."
"Abhijeet tumhe dard ho raha hai kya? Mai au kya waha?"
"Nahi." Abhijeet said instantly.
Tarika got hurt with the tone of his voice. She thought he would come to see her by himself but he didn't. Then she thought he would at least call her.. still he didn't. She was so so so angry with him for not telling her the truth, for playing with Maya and Abhay.. n also for taking those medicines. But she called him keeping her all issues aside. Just for him. And now he's stopping her to go and see him. How could he. But his voice! His voice was making her worried.
"Ku nahi?" She asked controlling her tears.
"Wo mai.. sone wala hu."
"Soi toh nahi na..."
"Kaha na sone wala hu."
"chilla ku rahe ho?"
"Chilla kaha raha hu. Tum phone rakho."
"Mai a rahi hu.."
"Tum nahi aogi..."
"Rok ke dikhao." she cut the call.
"Tarika.. Ta.."
But there's no response from her side. He threw the phone away and held his head again.
"Uff.. ye sar. Or ye Tarika! socha tha thande dimag se use samjaunga.. par nahi, use ab hi ana hai... bina waja bura bartav karna parega... ek toh ye sar daard.. upar se wo ake sawal jawawab karegi. Keisey samjhauna usse ki ab or nahi ho paiga mujhhse... ki she's better of without me. Keisey! Keisey!"
Abhijeet was getting worried and so his headache was increasing with passing minutes. He took out pain killer and gulped that. He was in need of that medicine which Maya used to give him. But he didn't have that..even if he had..he wouldn't take that anymore. He went to the washroom and splashed water. After a while he felt better than before though not good as the painkiller started working. He took a deep breath and sat on his bed holding his head.
The bell rang. He knew who it was. He didn't want to face her in this condition. The bell rang again. He stood up unwantedly and set himself. He went and opened the door. As expected, there was _she_.
She was looking at him with her tired eyes. She had dark circles under her eyes. He knew whatever happened in past 1 month had a bad effect on her too & _he was the sole reason_. That's why he wanted her to leave him. He didn't want her to suffer because of him.
"Ander nahi bulayoge?"
"Maine mana kiya tha na tumhe aneko.." Abhijeet turned around. He didn't want her to see his helplessness.
"Tumhe kya lagta hai tum yun muh mod loge toh mujhe kuch samajh nahi ayega.."
Abhijeet closed his eyes taking a deep breath to control his emotions and his headache.
"Mujhe iss waqt kisi se koi baat nahi karna hai..tum jayo yaha se.."
Tarika locked the door behind her and came in front of him.
"Bohot dard ho raha hai?" Tarika said looking at his face. His eyes were getting red. He was having tough time to hide his pain from her.
"Nahi ho raha.." Abhijeet tried to keep his face as straight as he can.
Tarika smiled ruefully.
"Mujhse jhoot nahi bol sakte tum..."
Abhijeet's headache was increasing. He clenched his fists. He didn't want her to see how much pain he was bearing. He didn't want her to see his this much vulnerable side. He didn't have any option left but hurt her...he thought.
"Tarika tumhe ek baar mein baat samajh nahi ati...main keh raha hoon ki koi dard nahi ho raha! Aur tum please jayo yaha se..mujhe sona hai.." Abhijeet shouted on her. He left from there towards his room and banged the door. He fell on his bed holding his head.
"Aah.."
Tarika got tears in her eyes. Not because he shouted on her..but he was in too much pain. Duh..she just knew it he was in pain..but this much..she didn't know! Tarika went towards his room.
"Abhijeet please darwaja kholo..mujhe pata hai tumhe bohot dard ho raha hai.."
"Tarika please jayo yaha se...mujhe bohot neend araha hai..."
"Main nahi jayungi yaha se..pata hai tumhe..now open the door"
"Just leave damn it!" he shouted in rage. His head felt like it will burst out anytime soon.
"Let me help you.." Tarika cried.
"Please.." She pleaded.
Abhijeet chose not to answer her at all.
"Abhijeet please.. don't push me away. Please.. I know you need me... And I need you too... please, open the door... please. Let me take care of you... Abhijeet, Abhi."
Abhijeet covered his ears to stop himself hearing her painful voice. He just couldn't. He need to be strong. Yes, he did. If he broke down now then he couldn't left her. It hurt to even think. But he couldn't risk her life. Damn, he just couldn't.
Behind the door he heard her sobbing badly. She too decided to keep quiet. Some minutes later even the sobs were gone. Now, Abhijeet got panic. Tarika wasn't that easy. she wouldn't go away this easily. Then what's she doing?
Sure she was a brave and intelligent girl but when it comes to him she behaved stupidly, sometimes.
Abhijeet got down from bed and hurriedly opened the door. He relaxed seeing Tarika sitting on floor with her head buried in her knees and back rested against the wall.
When she heard the door unlocked and sensed Abhijeet beside her she looked up at him slowly, with her red, teary eyes. Abhijeet felt like slapping himself seeing her condition.
uff this headache.
She stood up. weak as hell she was about to lose her balance but supported herself with the help of the wall.
To him, she looked scared. Abhijeet never wanted her to scared of him. But now she was. He just didn't deserve her. Not an inch, not a cm.
Abhijeet took a step forward, careful enough not to frightened her anymore and also wearing off that raged mask of him. It would be easy to make her understand softly, lovingly. He always knew but this headache messed up his thoughts.
Tarika, taking his step as a positive sign hugged him within a second. Abhijeet held her tight reflexly.
"Don't you ever try to push me away. Ever. Tumhe nahi pata ye ek mahina mere liye ketna dardnak tha.. mai sirf isi umid mei ji rahi thi ki. jab taq tum ho tab taq tumhari lot ke ane ki gunzais bhi hai."
Abhijeet inhaled the fragrance of her hair, her body and filled his lungs. He missed it. He would miss it. He ruffled her hair lovingly. Even her hug was better than those painkillers. He felt relax.
He didn't break the hug until she moved away.
"Mai tumhare liye medicines lekar ai hu. Bag mei hai.." she tried to go back to the hall room but Abhijeet held her wrist
"Tumhe aram milega.. maine apne friend se puch ke laya hai.."
Abhijeet shook his head.
"Kya hua Abhijeet?"
"Bat karni hai mujhhe tumse."
"We can talk later Abhi...now you need medicine.."
Abhijeet was about to say something while Tarika pleaded "please don't say no.."
Abhijeet couldn't but node. Tarika brought medicine for him.
Tarika gave him a glass of water and medicines. He took them silently.
"You'll feel better now.."
"Hmmm.."
After a pause, he started "mujhe tumse baat karna hai abhi.."
"Thik hai..kamre mein chalo..aram se baith ke baat karte hai.."
"Hmm.."
They make themselves comfortable on the bed.
Abhijeet started, "Tarika..main jo kehne ja raha hoon...shayed tumhe usse shock lage..
But ye tumhare bhalai ke liye hi hai...humare liye hai..."
"Abhijeet tum kehna kya chahte ho..!?" Tarika was scared inside. She didn't want to imagine anything negative before knowing anything properly.
"Main nahi chahta ki tum...hum.." He couldn't find words to declare what he wants..no no..he doesn't want so..but he's compelled to do so.
"Tum..hum..kya nahi chahte tum..!" She could feel her worst fear coming.
Abhijeet gave her a strangely familiar look... It was the same face, the same helpless face she had seen when he had been accused of crimes he couldn't even imagine doing, when she had to answer many questions just for standing by him, when she had to undergo background checks just for defending him.
She didn't care as long as he was with her... But was he?
"Tarika mein... Hum dono ki baat Kar Raha Hu"
Tarika froze. Her heart thumping against her chest, she somehow managed to nod.
"Mujhse ab ye sab Nahi Hoga..."
"Kya sab Nahi Hoga?"
She had never asked him for anything... Not even a name for their relationship, had she?
Abhijeet turned around, making her scoff.
He couldn't say it looking at her face after all.
"I'm sorry Tarika..."
"Sorry! sorry ku?" Tarika asked, scared like hell.
"Tum samajh ke bhi na samajh ban rahi ho ab."
"Tum mujhe samjhao." Tarika said with trembling voice, trying hard not to cry.
Abhijeet kept numb.
Tarika held his collar and made him face her. They both were sitting on bed.
"Bolo.. thik se bolo."
Abhijeet looked down.
"Mere akho mei dekh ke bolo." Tarika ordered.
"Mujhse nahi hoga."
"Ku nahi hoga?"
"Mai seh nahii paunga tunhare akho ka wo dard."
"Toh maiai kesiey sahungi! Keisey Abhi?"
"Tumhe sehna parega..."
"Nahi... mujhse nahi hoga..."
"Tarika... it's..."
"Don't say it Abhijeet. Please don't say it."
"I have to Tarika."
"No...
"It's over Tarika."
Tarika left his collar and looked at him blank.
So finally he had said that. That's too easily.
"I am sorry." Abhijeet murmured, "Mujhse nahi hoga abb.. mere waja se tumhe ek anch bhi ai mai nahi seh sakta... tum... tum mere sath safe nahii ho... nahi ho safe...*
He looked up at her bit she was looking at the floor now.
"Tarika chup mat raho.. kuch bolo.. chillam mujh pe... chaho toh thappar mar lo.."
"Sab haq chin liya tumne Abhijeet... par bhat mei hi... haan kabhi diya bhi nahi tha mu see... par maine man liya tha.. haq se... ab toh tumne allan kar diya..." Tarika said looking at the floor.
"Tarika..."
"Mat lo mera nam tum... please." she closed her eyes.
"Etna nafrat ho raha hai mujhse.. meri awaz se..."
Tarika sttood up to leave but Abhijeet held her wrist and stood up too.
"Jane do mujhe..."
"Aise nahi..."
"Is rishtyet mei har faisala tumhara tha... maine bas wo follow kia.. aj bhi wahi karungi..."
"Aise nahi... tumhe mujhe samajhna hai.."
"Nahi samajhna mujujhe tumhe.."
"Mere liye bhi aasan nahi hai.."
"Kyaa fark parta hai in bato ka.. khatam hi toh kar diya sab.."
Abhijeet didn't expect her to react like this... He expected her to scream or to demand more explanations... He expected her to fight for him... For _them_.
"Meine keh Diya toh tum aise hi chali jaogi... Chup ke se... Jaise aayi thi waise hi?"
The last part of his question was too inaudible, even for Tarika.
"Tum yahi toh Chahte the na?"
Abhijeet nodded.
"Tari-doc-"
"Mujhe ab jaane doh... Iss waqt baat Karna hum dono ke liye Acha Nahi."
She wiped her tears and turned on her heels.
As she reached the threshold of the door, she stopped and turned her face a little, so that she could now see him from the corner of her eyes.
"Wo medicines waqt se le Lena... Mein tumhe - Tumhari Bai ko phone karke Yaad dila dungi."
He wanted to stop her... But he didn't know how.
He wanted her to still cry on his shoulder... But he had stripped himself off that power.
He stood there... Following her with his eyes.
"Tarika," he whispered.
"It's doctor Tarika from now." She said strictly.
"Samajh ne ki koshish-"
"Mai samajh chuki mujhe jo samajhna tha"
Abhijeet took a step forward. Tarika turned around and ran off out the door leaving a confused Abhijeet behind.
Tarika got into the car and speed off hurriedly so that Abhijeet couldn't stop her. She knew he would stop her.
She parked the car when he's out of his reach and burst out. how could he just finished everything like this! How! Deep inside her she knew one such day would arrive and that's the reason she never force Abhijeet for anything.. she took care of herself knowing if anything ever happened to her Abhijeet would walk away feeling guilt.
So here goes the first chapter. This is going to be a short story... Maybe two or three chapters. Tell us what you think. The sooner you review, the faster we write ; )
Abhirika forever