A/N: Hey, so I was going to work on the next chapter of my fic, The Common Denominator, but I was feeling too angst to write comedy, so this came out instead. I got this idea from the manga, when Himaruya mentioned something about Denmark writing a letter to cut off all ties with Norway and throw a temper tantrum; I also drew inspiration from the song "It's All Your Fault" by P!nk. I actually came up with an idea for a full-length fic from this, but I didn't want to have two longterm projects at the same time because in the past that hasn't turned out well for me. Anyway, rant over, here's the thing!
Dear Norge,
I hate you. I fucking hate you.
You always said I screwed up everything. Well, maybe you're right.
Again.
You're always right. Because you're perfect.
Why are you even reading this? Shouldn't you be enjoying your sweet little union with Sverige?
I let you become independent to keep you away from Sverige, you bastard, and this is how you repay me? With a knife in my back?
Fuck you! Fuck you and Sverige both!
For God's sake, I thought you loved me! I thought we were friends. Lovers. Partners even. But then after I let become independent you immediately go and whore yourself to Sverige...
It hurts. It fucking hurts Norge! And you know what?
It's all your fault.
It's your fault I think of you every morning I wake up to an empty bed.
It's your fault I need to lie to Iceland whenever he asks where his big brother is.
It's your fault I cry myself to sleep at night.
It's your fault I want to tear myself apart every time I think of you.
It's your fault I feel like I'm suffocating from the pain.
How do I get you back? What do I say? What do I do?
Do I even want you back?
More than a thousand years of war and bloodshed, and the kingdom of Danmark is defeated by a broken heart.
Go figure.
And we were perfect too. We were perfect together; you, Ice, and I were like a little family.
That makes you and Sverige home wreckers, Norge.
I... I don't even know what to say anymore.
I'd've probably killed myself by now if it weren't for Iceland. I'm going crazy, Norge.
It's your fault I'm going mad.
It's your fault I can't sleep.
It's your fault we lost the wars that led us here.
It's your fault Sverige's a dick.
It's your fault I let you go.
It's your fault I'm blaming all my problems on you.
It's your fault I got us into this mess.
... Don't bother writing back. I don't want to hear it.
Fuck you,
Danmark