Why Do You Love Me?
Nick was lying in bed, reading through a case file, trying to ignore the way Jennifer was lying beside him, staring. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He put down the file and looked over to see her face scrunched up in concentration. "What?"
"Why do you love me?"
He was taken aback. It was an odd thing for her to ask. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, we sort of fell together, didn't we? All that time undercover, we got comfortable and familiar and then it sort of progressed from there. And I'm not being self-deprecating, I know I'm attractive and smart, but I just realized...I don't know why you fell in love with me. When did you know? What made you realize?"
Nick wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "Are you worried about it?" he asked, buying himself a little time.
"Not worried, just interested. I know you love me. And I love you. I guess I just don't really know how it all happened," she replied. Jen didn't want to admit to him that she had been worried, that realizing the ease and natural feeling of their relationship had caused her to wonder if it would be just as easy for it to all fall apart.
"Well, I think it started when we first started working together. We just clicked right away. You're really easy to get along with. You're brilliant and brave and strong. I felt comfortable with you next to me undercover. I knew you could hold your own. And like you said, we just sort of fell into it," he replied with a shrug, not knowing what she was looking for him to say.
"There isn't a moment when you just KNEW you wanted to be with me after it was all over?" she asked.
"Did you have that moment?"
She smiled softly. "Yeah, I did. About a month in. I still wasn't sleeping very well and you rolled over in bed and your arm ended up around me. And I think with anyone else I've ever been with, I would have been annoyed or I would have tensed up or something. Especially with someone I barely knew, which you were at that point. But I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I remember lying awake and feeling you there and I got this weird sense of calm. And I felt myself starting to fall asleep and thinking, I hope I feel like this forever."
"And that was a month in?"
"Yeah, I know, it was stupid. It happened so quick."
"Well it didn't take me a month to know. I think I knew the first day we were in that house. You were so perfectly effortless as Trish. And then when we got to the house and everyone left and we were alone and you finally relaxed and told me how terrified you were. And that's when I knew you were amazing and strong and knew I would have been happy to be by your side forever. Not to mention I already knew you were gorgeous and funny and your smile made my stomach tie in knots."
Jen beamed. "Does my smile still make your stomach tie in knots?"
"No, it makes me want to kiss you."
She scooted closer to him in bed and kissed him sweetly. "Me too."
"I don't think I answered your original question," Nick realized.
"Didn't you?"
"You asked me why I love you. And I love you because of everything you are and everything you make me feel, but more than anything I love you because I've never met anyone who made me think that I wouldn't be better off on my own. I've dated plenty, Jen. I enjoy the company of a beautiful woman. But I've never been with anyone I didn't want to escape after a while. Marriage and family and all that? I thought that was for other people who didn't have fulfilling lives on their own. I've got a fulfilling life, but it's not worth anything to me anymore if you're not in it."
Jen could feel tears prick her eyes. Nick had never been the most verbally demonstrative man before, which was what had sparked her initial question. Yes, he loved her. Yes, he whispered filthy, sexy things in her ear to arouse her. But this was so much more.
Nick watched the flurry of emotion on her face as she tried not to cry. He smiled softly, feeling strangely content at his admission to her. He waited for a moment to see if she would respond. When she didn't, he asked, "And what about you? Why do you love me?"
Jen had her answer right away. She'd been thinking about it for a while. "You know that feeling when you come home at the end of a hard day and you can just relax and breathe and feel safe and comforted? That's how you make me feel whenever I see you. And it took me a while to realize that you've made me feel like that from the first moment we met. You're my home." Saying it out loud suddenly felt rather stupid. She cast her gaze away from him.
"Home is where the heart is, eh?" he teased gently.
She looked back up at him and chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."
Nick locked eyes with her for a quiet instant. "I love you, Jen," he murmured.
"I love you, Nick."