The sounds of skin slapping skin sounded off the walls of the small room. Their groans and moans could be heard throughout most of the frat house, even with the music blaring. But it was only met with the same thought as it was every other day "Fucking lucky Belikov". Every guy couldn't get past the point that someone like him could get a girl like her. But then again there was a fine line between love and hate. And their relationship had started with pure unadulterated hate.
Dimitri never thought he would ever be that guy, let alone that frat guy. He went to college with one thing on his mind, and that was to graduate with top honors and get a good job. His young life had not been easy, and he longed for a better adulthood. Although that was still his plan, he now saw the need to have a social life. That had been taught to him by his overly social roommate Adrian, way back when they were freshmen.
The two men had met on the first day of move in. Adrian the loud, cluttered one. And Dimitri the quiet, organized one. For some reason though they had never clashed. From the very beginning they had talked, joked, and done everything together. They both considered themselves brothers. Perhaps it was the fact that neither had ever had a brother, a real male influence, or even very many friends. No matter how close they were Adrian always knew Dimitri was hiding something from him, he simply never knew how to ask, after all Dimitri was the king of building walls, if he didn't want you to get in you were not getting in.
Adrian had been the reason both men had gone pledging to frats sophomore year. It had started off as a sick way for Adrian to party, but in the end, what had won Dimitri over was the fact that they actually did something worthwhile. Delta Omega was known for its huge acts of community service. Not only that they held fundraisers for all kinds of things, from helping aid crisis to raising money for childhood cancer. And even with all their hard work they still found time to party and be a bunch of boys. Even though it was far from perfect being part of the frat had been the first time Dimitri had felt like part of family. The guys all excepted him, flaws and all.
That was where Dimitri met her, or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that was how he stumbled into her.
Rose was a complete mystery to everyone. She showed up every weekend to every party at the frat, but it was well known she didn't go to the college. No one had ever had the decency to ask her, but they also knew she probably wouldn't answer. Her fiery attitude kept most at bay. But if that didn't stop them, her killer right hook would.
Rose at the time lived with her very best friend. They had met at Rose's work, the summer after high school graduation. Lissa was everything Rose was not. Outgoing, bright, rich, and super religious, were a few ways to describe Lissa. She was also very close with her family. But that was not why both the girls clicked so well. Rose always felt a pull to protect Lissa. Rose saw Lissa as everything pure in the world, and the thought of that pureness being taken from her scared her. Rose became friends with Lissa to make sure she got everything Rose had never. And Lissa became friends with Rose to give her everything she had never received.
Dimitri stumbled into Rose for the first time on his way to his room. He had had one too many and just wanted his bed to pass out. Rose had been trying to leave, some guy getting too close and churning stuff inside her. It was frankly the worse time ever for them to meet.
Dimitri wasn't interested in the girls throwing themselves at him, he had sworn off women the day he caught Tasha his high school girlfriend in bed with his former best friend, Spiradon, that summer after sophomore year. Ever since the beginning of Junior year Dimitri had been a mess. And it didn't help matters that Tasha had showed up to his frat with that fucking guy on her arm. Being him, he had said nothing, simply downing more drinks than he could handle.
Rose needed air and fast. Most of the guys at the frat knew to give her space. They liked her, and yes of course saw her good looks, but they all knew Rose was not that kind of girl. The random freshmen at the party did not know this, so he hit on her, and grabbed her. The act causing Rose to react and punch him.
"Fuck off." Her voice was harsh as he watched her stumble towards the door, he didn't even get a second to say anything back. There was always someone to pick her up.
It was in that moment that Dimitri and Rose started to hate each other. They shouted a bit to each other before they went on their separate ways, every single weekend thereafter. And with every visit the hate grew and grew.
Dimitri couldn't stand her voice. Rose couldn't stand his too high and mighty act. Dimitri hated how she pranced around talking to everyone. Rose hated how he mostly stuck to corners, watching silently. They taunted each other to no end. They vocalized their hate, they did horrible things to each other. Throwing drinks, pushing, sticking gum in each other long hairs. Which was why when one Saturday came and they found themselves alone they did something they never thought they would.
In the hall they had been cornered in they yelled and screamed and pushed and shoved. Everyone stood by just out of sight worried but knew better than to step in. Those two where so headstrong, everyone knew if they tried to stop it, they would be the ones hurt. The only one unworried was Adrian in the corner a smirk on his face. Because if anyone knew how thin the line between love and hate it was him.
Dimitri prided himself for being in control but this fucking woman pushed all that control out the window. There was something about her "I don't give a shit" attitude that drove him insane. He never wanted to be abusive, and he never hurt her, but the damage he carried inside in was always there. No matter how good looking she was he told himself she was just like the rest of them, if not even worse. He had never heard her say anything nice, at least not to him. She treated him like he was the worlds trash, and he had had enough.
Rose couldn't stand people who thought themselves better than everyone else. And to her that was what Dimitri was. Someone who thought he was better than her, even though he knew nothing about her. She never understood why he disliked her so much. But then again, she had disliked him from day one. But she knew better, all men were the same, and she would no fall for his act, she would not let him bring her down.
A shove and a push turned into Dimitri getting punched. The sound making it around the corner and Adrian re thought his plan. He heard a growl coming from Dimitri but before Adrian could stop him Dimitri had Rose pinned to the wall. As Adrian hurried forward so he could get close enough to pause this mess, Rose moaned. He couldn't believe it, she was turned on by the angry Russian.
And as Dimitri threaded his hand and fingers in her hair roughly pulling her into a kiss, Adrian shooed everyone away who watched in awe and confusion. A smile making its way into his face. Dimitri would be pissed when it happened, but this was going to end with an "I told you so".
Once left alone things got heated and quickly. Dimitri lifted Rose off the ground without any struggle, she quickly wrapping herself around him. His sudden show of manliness making her hot, wet, and bothered. Dimitri was startled at how good she felt against him, he knew he had drank a bit but was it enough to make him do something this crazy. He pulled away as he entered his room taking a moment to look at the woman in his arms, this was crazy. But yet he was powerless, he had to kiss her again.
Rose couldn't believe she was on Dimitri's bed, kissing him, as she stripped him of his skin-tight shirt. God, she hated his stupid tight shirts, that showed all his stupid muscles. She hated even more how the bastard had a V in his lower abdomen. Rose hated everything about him but it just turned her on even more.
One time turned into two, then into three. Soon enough they had lost count, since every time they saw each other it ended the same way. They rarely talked and solely fucked, but there was something about it that felt so much more than hooking up. It was as if the other knew that deep down inside they shared the same secret.
"Want a beer?" After a few rounds Dimitri was parched.
Reaching into his mini fridge he opened two bottles, not even waiting for Rose to answer. She always took the beer no matter what. They would lay in bed naked and sweating, sipping on beers till Rose had to leave. There was never any cuddling and the kissing stopped as soon as the sex did. But there was something nice about them sitting together, naked, enjoying a beer.
"Don't you ever get sick of there being a party where you live?" Rose chugged the rest of her beer getting up to get another.
"Sometimes but that's why I get a room up here." Dimitri shrugged, taking his second beer from Rose's extended hand.
"You must be the reason the house looks a lot cleaner than it used to." Dimitri cringed, remembering how shitty the house used to be. He had stepped up and made them all clean before and after parties, things would get too out of hand if they didn't.
"Yea well if I got something from living with a hoard of women, it's that things need to be clean." He sunk into the bed, thinking about how his father would make sure the women would clean.
"My mother is the same way." Rose sighed thinking back to how her mother cared more about a clean house than her own daughter.
Silence filled the room again. This was how conversation usually flowed between the two. Information was not given all at once, little by little they learned about each other. A fact here, a memory shared there. They would both tell everyone they knew nothing about the other, but in reality, they knew more about each other than anyone else ever did.
Dimitri was raised by a single mother, because his father was rarely there, with three sisters and his grandmother. They had fled Russia heading to America because of an abusive father, because when Randall was there he was hell. He liked to make sure they all knew he was home, and for weeks after they would all bare the marks of that evil man. Dimitri never understood how his mother would let that happen. It wasn't until his grandmother Yeva stepped in that it stopped, but by then it was a little too late.
Rose had lived with her mother, never knowing her father, but having her share of abusive step fathers. Her mother could never keep a man, perhaps because she always would pick the wrong ones. Rose was sure her mother still longed for her father, but the reason he was gone was never told to her. Janine simply lived her life like Rose was not there. She brought men in and out of the house, never seeing what they did to Rose. Or perhaps she really never cared.
Dimitri and Rose both bonded over the lack of positive male influence in their lives, almost like Adrian and Dimitri. But it was different. Very different when the men in your life took advantage, beat you and belittled you. Or worse.
"What do you do when you're not here?" The question Dimitri asked, had been dwelling in his mind. He had wanted to ask her, curious as to what she did on her weekdays, but had been too timid until now. Which was almost comical seeing as being naked around each other would be considered being as vulnerable as one would be.
"Umm." Rose looked over at him about to tell him to fuck off, thought better of it and told him what she had never told anyone before, the truth. "I work. I've been working since I graduated high school, in hopes to save up for college."
"You almost there?" Dimitri put his beer down turning to face her.
"Oh no." She sighed and started to peel the label off the beer. "I had to get my own place so most of my money goes towards rent. I use to have a roommate but she moved in with her boyfriend recently."
"That's too bad." Dimitri's eyebrows furrowed, he was surprised at how he felt about what she had just said.
Although known for her anger issues everyone truly did like Rose. She made friends with most people, and aside from how she used to treat Dimitri, she was sweet and nice to all. She gave people a chance without trying and would willingly help anyone who needed aid. But aside from what she presented no one knew anything about her, it was the way she wanted it. She was convinced no one would want her around if they truly knew how badly her passed had fucked her up.
Being beaten and abused by the men your mother brought home, well it did things to you. You learned to distrust, to fear, and hide from those people you were supposed to rely on. Not only that it caused you to turn to people, friends you never thought you would. School had been hell until she had entered high school. There she found a few good people, and a whole lot of boys to keep her mind and body busy. She hated doing what she did, but it was better to choose the guys you had sex with than letting them choose you.
"Have you put in an ad for another roommate?" Dimitri was grasping at straws tonight, but something from the moment he had seen her earlier was bothering him about her. Perhaps it was his own thoughts and plans sinking into what he saw in her. He had been trying hard to make sure no one knew what and how he had been feeling lately.
"Nah there's no point." Rose sunk into the bed.
"It's a college area it shouldn't be so hard to find someone." Again, Rose sunk even further.
"It won't matter after this weekend."
"Why not?"
"Yea well I got to go." Rose shot up panic surging through her, she didn't want Dimitri to find out what she had planned for the end of this weekend.
"It's not even 11." Dimitri stood up with her somewhat thrown off by her sudden departure, she usually left well past 2am and they would go at it a few more times.
"Yea well, I'm not feeling so festive."
Rose started to get dressed, and all Dimitri could do was watch her. He wanted to stop her, though he knew better. If she wanted to leave he would let her leave. Something had always bothered him about her, and it definitely had to do with the fact that Rose didn't get to choose a lot in her life. He somewhat knew the feeling. They hadn't left Russia until he was 15, and by then his father had beat, abused him and his siblings in a way no father, or person should ever.
That was why Dimitri and Rose clicked. They had never said anything, but it was clear as day that they had both been sexually and physically abused. For the pain and suffering they had endured, they were both doing pretty well. They had hinted at how bad things had been for them but had never told each other how bad exactly. Both knew deep down inside that they both had lived through hell and back. Though Dimitri wished Rose was getting better.
Dimitri on other hand had started to think things would never get better, especially after finding out his father had come back, and his mother had taken him back willingly. His college time had been threatened seeing as his father thought Olena should not pay for aid anymore. Dimitri was getting worse and worse as time went by, but no one was the wiser. The thought that his mother could take Randall back after everything he had done to him, to all of them, hurt him so much more than anyone would knew. He felt hopeless and lost.
Rose had hope until her friend had gotten up and left. She knew Lissa meant no harm, but she also knew Lissa had no idea how much her presence meant to Rose. Rose felt a better person with Lissa, and now that she was alone again, she found herself falling back into her old ways, her old thoughts. She had no money, no help, and worse she felt like a total failure. She never wanted anyone to know just how bad everything was, much less Dimitri.
"You free tomorrow night?" Rose turned to him her eyes roaming his body.
"I don't think so." She was pulling away, she did this when she felt things were getting too serious.
"Oh, come on. Let's get dinner or something. They are throwing another party and I don't feel like it tomorrow." Dimitri had no idea why he was asking, after this weekend, he knew things would end.
"I don't think that's a good idea." Rose sighed her hands going through her hair. The idea actually sounded nice, but she had sworn after high school she would never let any man get in her way.
"Are you sure? I mean are you working?" Dimitri for some reason could not stop himself from asking, pleading. Something about Rose was throwing red signs up to him. Signs that perhaps he saw in himself.
"Yea." They both knew it was a lie. Rose was always free weekend nights. Her job was only during the day, she lucky enough to snag a 9 to 5 bank telling job.
"OK then." Without thinking Dimitri leaned in and hugged her. They held each other close, something neither had done.
And with that they both went their separate ways. Neither said good bye, and as they looked into each other's eyes it was as if they both knew they never planned to see each other again.
Come Sunday night, Adrian got a feeling. He had not seen Dimitri for most of the weekend. If he was being honest he had not seen much of Dimitri in the past month. It was as if someone had come in and taken over the Dimitri he knew and loved. He had pushed it aside, thinking he was fine. He knew Rose was keeping him busy, and at least he wasn't alone. But Rose had not showed up Saturday night. She came every weekend, both nights. She would mingle then go hang out with Dimitri. Neither had shown face, and the thought bothered Adrian more than he thought it should.
"Has anyone seen Dimitri?" Adrian was met with blank stares and heads nodding no.
Faster than he had ever run in his life Adrian surged to Dimitri's room. His gut twisted and his mind roared. He hoped his thoughts were wrong but something was telling him he should have checked on his friend sooner. He was met with a locked door, but he refused to let that stop him. He banged and called but received no answer. With strengthen he never knew he possessed he slammed his body into the door, the scene he found was one that would stay with him forever.
Lissa had tried calling Rose all Saturday and had been sent to voicemail every time. When she tried again Sunday she felt something in her telling her she had to go to Rose. She knew she had been putting Rose aside and it had been eating at her. That was why she had sworn she would find Rose this weekend and make up for her selfish ways. She knew Rose didn't really have friends, and she never even mentioned her family. So even without Rose saying much she knew she was all Rose had. And Lissa felt the same way, until she had met Christian.
"Rose open up!" The petite blonde banged on the door as soon as she got to it. She wondered if Rose could hear her over the music. She hit the door again, this time hard enough to slip.
Looking down Lissa saw water seeping from the bottom of the door. Why would there be water? Without thinking anymore, she reached for the top of the frame finding her old key. She opened the door as fast as she could, rushing inside, slipping some more. The water coming from the bathroom, had her running faster. And when she got to the bathroom the sight before her would forever haunt her.
Dimitri woke up coughing, his throat ached, and his tongue seemed to be swollen. He couldn't help but feel confused, he assumed in death he would be relieved from all kinds of pain. But the physical pain was there, and soon after the mental pain hit as well. He had been told his whole life, by his father no less, that he would never be able to do anything right. And apparently that was true, he couldn't even kill himself.
"Dimitri." His name was whispered softly from the side and he soon felt even more aching this time in his heart.
Adrian sat beside him his emerald eyes wide, cradled by black patches, telling of lack of sleep. What was worse, the look of pain and suffering in those eyes. He had never really known how much Adrian cared for him until that moment. It was something Dimitri had never had, someone who cared for him and would be there no matter what. So, for the first time in his life, Dimitri cried.
Adrian soon joined, the image of his friend hanging from a rope a constant in his mind. He never would have thought Dimitri was that sad, that depressed to do something like that. It was then and there that he swore he would find out those hidden secrets. He held his dear friend close, promising to never leave his side again.
Pain shot through Rose, starting from her wrists. The pain was sharp, and consuming. She felt lethargic as she opened her eyes, as if her body was running on low fuel. And it probably was. The hospital room confirmed what she already knew, she had not succeeded. She could not tell if she was relieved or upset. She did not want to be here anymore.
"Rose." Lissa's soft voice shocked her.
Lissa had never looked so horrible in her life. Not that Rose would actually think that. She looked weak and stressed her eyes wide. Immediately Rose knew it had been Lissa who had found her, it was her after all that had been calling her all weekend. Rose taking in her friend wept loudly.
Lissa leaned forward hugging her friend, tightly as to make sure she would never lose her. Lissa had found Rose in the tub, the water running red. Rose was out, and she had thought she was too late. She knew Rose has issues but she had never thought she would try to kill herself.
Days later Rose got a visit from someone she had barely ever talked to. Adrian walked in, looking no better than Lissa had. For a moment she wondered how he found out, and if he knew why hadn't Dimitri come to see her?
"Hey." Her voice was low causing Adrian to make sure he had actually heard her, but as soon as he saw her his anger took hold.
"How could you do this? Did you guys plan this out?" Rose looked at him confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Dimitri? Was it some fucked up deal or something?" Adrian stormed closer, his eyes crazy. "DO neither of you know how much you are cared for? Loved?"
"Where's Dimitri?" Rose's heart sank as thoughts filled her about what Adrian could mean.
"Two rooms down." Adrian suddenly looked at Rose wondering if he had been wrong.
"Why is he ok?" Panic surged through her as she thought of Dimitri. Had he hurt himself after he found out? Had he been in an accident?
"Neither of you knew?" He sunk down in the chair beside Rose. "You both tried to kill yourselves. You both did it and neither of you knew what you had planned."
Rose stayed silent. Her mind almost numb. The thought of Dimitri killing himself cut deep, why would he do that? Rose thought he was strong, at least stronger than her. Yet if Adrian was telling the truth he had done the same as her.
"Is he ok?" Rose looked up her eyes shining with tears.
"The doctors said he will be ok. Some minor surgery may be needed but, he's alive." Rose simply nodded her head, soon dropping it onto her pillow.
Months later Dimitri found himself walking from his, hopefully last, appointment. He would still have to see a therapist weekly, but he seemed to be done with his medical stuff. He would forever bare a scar on his neck, but he hoped it would be a constant reminder of the second chance he was given. His thoughts were still dark, and some days he did feel like quitting but he knew better now. He was not alone, and things could get better.
After Dimitri found out about Rose he sunk into a deeper depression. He somehow blamed himself for her attempt. He saw something in her and yet said nothing. Perhaps they had both been too far gone to actually help the other. But for that reason, Dimitri had not dared to see her. He could not look at her and not think that she may hate him. It was irrational but it was there.
But fate had other plans. Just like they had first met Dimitri stumbled into Rose. Both looked up suddenly, taking loud breaths in. Time stood still as they both took the other in. Rose noticed his scar and tried to cover hers but Dimitri had already seen them. A chuckle left both their lips as they made eye contact. They had no idea why they had been avoiding each other in that moment.
Without words Dimitri bent down to her height and caressed her cheek. Slowly his head moved closer to hers, until their foreheads met. Rose closed the intimate space with her lips. It was the first kiss they had ever shared like this. All other times it had led to sex, but this time it would not.
"You hungry?" Dimitri pulled away but his lips still lingered as he asked the question.
"Starving."
Both knew the road would be rough, patches needing repair, but they needed each other. They always had. You see because the line between love and hate is thin.
As many of you know I like to write about topics like this. I can relate to them, and well after the year I have had I needed this. It has actually taken me close to the year to write this. I started thinking it was going to be an M rated one shot all mush but it turned into this. Sorry if its too depressing. Anyway I am working on a new chapter for Assassins Assailant. Let me know what you thought.