I'm awake again.

It's early in the morning. It's been months since the war has ended; since I've come home to the quiet house in Victor's Village. There's no one for me to share anything with anymore; my parents, my brothers, my friends-they're all dead. Most of them, anyway. They either didn't listen to Gale or didn't have enough time.

I loved my family. My mom was...rough, but she was still my mother. She could be tender at times. My brothers were goofs. They were older than me; Finn was eighteen when I first got into the games. When I came home, he told me he should've volunteered for me, just like what Katniss did for Prim. I'm glad he didn't, because then I wouldn't have gotten to be with Katniss. I couldn't have made sure she lived. My dad was the closest to me; he understood how I felt about Katniss. I guess it was almost like him reliving his dream through me. I knew he loved Mrs. Everdeen. Perhaps all along he was encouraging me to talk to Katniss.

But they're gone. Just like the bakery, they're all dead.

I have no one to share this house with. I have no family. Former inhabitants of the district are coming back to start things over; Haymitch is helping lead the new initiative. They're taking the ashes and piling them over, trying to make fields and recreate our sad world. It's working.

I've hardly seen Katniss leave her house. Greasy Sae is trying to help her out, but even she says she hardly talks. Katniss hasn't spoken to me since I planted those primroses in her garden. I figured she wanted something to remember Prim.

I even forgot; I'm eighteen now.

I remember the birthday charts at school. I'm three months older than Katniss. She never really celebrated her birthday, but I always remembered bringing cookies to class. She'd eat it slowly, relishing it.

I remember everything about her. I want to help her. I wish I knew-

Hey, look at that. She left her house. I saw her go out the front door. Her hair is in a messy braid. She's wearing her hunting boots. She's got a bow and arrow; Katniss is heading to the woods.

Maybe she's made some progress. Maybe I can make progress now too. But I've got to remember what Haymitch told me-Katniss isn't my life. I need to start moving along, moving forward, even if she isn't ready. I need to live.

But he doesn't seem to understand that after everything we've been through, I need her too.

Chapter 1

"Peeta!"

I turned around. I was carrying a basket of bread I'd just baked to bring to Sae. She was experimenting again with new dishes. I was glad to help. Things were really moving along now in the square; they were rebuilding. Sae had a new restaurant and I was working towards rebuilding the bakery. The destruction and bodies were gone; it was starting to look…alive again.

It was Delly who called me. She was looking healthier, if not more muscular from all the work she'd been doing. She wasn't plump as she used to be. I smiled at her and she gave a courteous smile before going on.

"I've been working at the medicine factory all day, helping out." She said breathlessly.

"Oh?" I asked nonchalantly. I wasn't really in the mood for small talk; I was looking for Sae so I could get home before Katniss did. Perhaps I could see her. Maybe we could talk.

Delly nodded eagerly. "We were all heading out for lunch when we saw her. She was just sitting in the road, gasping. We brought her to Sae's to get some food into her, but she's just not talking." Delly said quickly.

"Who?" I asked, even though I knew it. Dread filled my heart.

"Katniss." She breathed.

Without anything else said, I grasped the basket of bread and ran to Sae's newly constructed restaurant. I walked in and saw Sae leaning over the counter, quietly talking to Katniss. Katniss was staring over a bowl of soup without a word. Delly's friends (who went to school with us and knew Katniss) sat in the other corner, eating quietly. When they saw me, they nodded.

"I told you to get Haymitch." Sae said to Delly.

Delly shrugged. "I ran into Peeta first. I thought he'd be more…beneficial."

My heart hurt a bit at that. She wanted to see Haymitch over me?

Delly turned to me reassuringly. "Haymitch is the only one she talks to, other than Sae. She really hasn't talked since Gale came back to say goodbye."

I remember that day. Gale, in his fancy District Two military clothes, knocked on her door. He hugged her and they spoke. I saw the hurt in her eyes. He shrugged, kissed her forehead, and left.

She hadn't spoken to anyone other than her source of food and her mentor since.

I walked over to the counter and lightly placed my hands on her shoulders. I knew it comforted her. Katniss shuddered lightly under my touch, but her head hung lower. She pushed the soup of from her face and looked up to Sae.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not hungry. It was lovely though." Katniss said. "I just want to go home."

I took that as my queue. I wordlessly handed the basket of bread to Sae and took Katniss by the hand. Her small hand wrapped around mind, callused and cold. I knew I would be disappointed the second I brought her back to the Victor's Village, but I didn't care. I was going to keep her safe; that was my promise.

Even if I was going to hurt myself in the end, I would stay to my word.

We walked hand in hand back to our houses. Hers was across the street from mine; Haymitch was down farther. She didn't say anything, but stopped in front of her door. She seemed afraid to pass the primroses.

"We can go to my house, if you want." I murmured, pulling her across the street. My house was more maintained; I'd put more time into it than Katniss had. It was generally spotless and my paintings hung all over. I'd made the dining room into my own studio; I didn't have much use for it. I usually sat in the living room when I ate, watching Capitol updates. Plutarch and President Paylor were really working hard to get the nation back together.

Katniss took a seat at the kitchen table and I went over to pull out some bread and butter. She hadn't eaten and I knew she would be hungry. She slowly took the food and ate. I handed her a glass of water and leaned against the counter, watching her.

"I was in the woods." Katniss said quietly. "I stepped on a branch…and I remembered things…from the games."

I winced. I didn't like thinking about it.

"I just couldn't react. My body was frozen." She whispered.

I knew exactly how to comfort her. We used to do it all the time. In truth, it would comfort me too. My bed had felt empty all these months; I felt like a part of me was missing. I couldn't trust myself though; I still succumbed to the effects of being hijacked sometimes. But I was going to take a chance tonight.

"Come with me." I whispered back. I took her hand and she groaned, knowing what was going to happen. I ignored her; either way, she was staying.

"I'm dirty." Katniss argued.

"I'll lend you clothes." I replied back.

"It's the middle of the day." She pointed out.

"No one said you couldn't take a nap." I offered. She was defeated. Before long, she was wearing a large shirt and a pair of my boxers. As she wordlessly sat in the sheets, I pulled her hair out of the braid. Her dark waves fell down her back. Katniss fell against the sheets, and I curled up next to her, wrapping her in my arms.

A while later, I stirred. I noticed the emptiness in my arms and panicked. Where had she gone?

I quickly made my way down to the kitchen where I saw her, looking at the food I had prepared. She was still wearing my shirt, but her hair was back in its braid.

"What was the occasion?" she asked, a gentle smirk on her face.

I scratched my head, not wanting to make anything awkward. "It was my birthday earlier this week." I muttered.

Katniss's face turned red. "Oh, Peeta, I…I'm sorry I didn't remember." She blurted.

I shook her off. "It's okay. I didn't celebrate. I just gorged on food." I joked.

Katniss shook her head. "I should've remembered. We were engaged once." She said a weak smile on her face.

I chuckled and approached her. "I think that didn't count."

Katniss shrugged and started rummaging around in the drawers. "We need to find a candle." She pronounced. "We're going to celebrate your eighteenth birthday."

I blushed. "It's nothing, Katniss. Don't worry about it."

Katniss shook her head. "No, we're celebrating."

After a hasty blow of a candle stuck in a muffin, we sat down to food. Katniss chewed slowly, thinking.

"If your birthday was earlier this week…that means…" she trailed off.

"Your birthday is in three months." I replied shyly. I didn't want it to seem like I was counting down the days or anything.

Katniss nodded and looked down. "Funny how we get older and everyone else was so young." She said tearfully.

This was not the Katniss I knew. She never cried. The only time she'd ever cried was when Prim died. Other than that, she didn't show her emotions. She was a good actress though. She'd fooled me.

"Don't talk like that." I said firmly. "Everything will be okay."

Katniss gave me a steely glance. Those gray eyes pierced me through.

"How do you know?"