My Love For A Penny
Emptiness.
Thats one of many fragements of that painful night I haven't been able to forget.
It's not something I want to remember, but yet I still do.
Every second of every day, in my huanted life.
The heart renching sound of a gunshot riccochetting through the lifeless rooms of my house.
Followed by an agonizing scream, so filled with death it sucked the soul out of everything it touched.
And then silence.
The worst bit was the brutal silence.
Even the rain outside seemed to have stopped.
It was then I ran, screaming out his name, hoping with every ounce of strength I had that he would answer back.
Panic rose in my throat, choking off the what I had tried so hard to scream out .
My body wouldnt listen to me from that point on.
A puppet.
That's all I was, with an invisible hand forcing my every move.
With each passing moment my running became more frantic, frightened of what I might find, and scared I would find nothing at all.
You'll never know what hell is like unless something like this happens.
A living nightmare is the only way to explain it.
The thing I dreaded most ever since he had found out what we had intended to do.
Thinking back on it now, I am sure it was then -when I was running down those dusty corridoors- I began to lose my mind.
I can't remember the exact thing that triggered it, or maybe it was everything combined into one huge emotional bomb.
All that mattered to me was that I had to find him, somehow
I thought my being there would save his life if only I got there in time.
I looked in every room, searching for the source of the gunshot, but in my panic I almost missed it.
The lock on the door was broken.
I inched into the room looking for signs of him.
Sure enough there was, but none all to comforting. A trail of blood led out the door.
It was obvious even to me in my hystrical state that something heavy had been draged out of the door and down the lightless corridoor.
Following the trail at a sprint I tried to comfort myself by saying it wasn't his, it had to be someone elses.
It just had to be.
I had to reach the end of the trail, I just had to get there in time.
To save him.
I followed into the bedchambers trembling from head to toe, but as soon as I stepped into the doorway I froze.
It was as if my whole body had been encased in ice, stopping me even from breathing.
Slowly, timidly I walked into the room, towards the object lying in a puddle of blood.
My eyes burned, hot tears falling from my lashes to stain my cheeks as I collapsed to the ground.
I could feel his blood soaking thruogh my clothes and on to my bare skin, but it didn't matter.
Nothing mattered anymore.
I had come too late.
He was gone now.
For once in my life I stopped thinking, stopped caring about anything.
I finally let go...
CCC
Seeing a dead body changes your life permanetly whether you like it or not, even more so if you cared for them.
Nothing can replace what I' lost, and nothing can take away the guilt.
A letter. Just a simple letter is why he died.
It had not but a few words on it, but they were enough.
I Love You.
Three innocent little words ruined my once perfect life.
I could of had a prince, but I chose the pauper, and because that he paid.
I gave him my love for a penny.