According to you
AThis song was bugging me for a month, until I decided to out and transformed in a songfic. It was originally Puck/Rachel/Finn, but came out as Damon/Elena/Stefan instead. Which is a good thing, because I could take Glee fics out of my mind for a while.
A/N2: In this fic Katherine didn't come back. Damon and Elena really kissed. And Jeremy didn't kill himself. And everyone is a little OOC.
Hope you enjoy!
"He's in love with you." That sentence was ringing in my head all month, I just couldn't stop it. And couldn't believe it either. But by the way Stefan was acting lately, it was true. Everything changed after Isobel statement. Stefan changed. And not in a good way. He became jealous, possessive, angry, insecure. Though the worst of all was his lack of trust in me.
Did he believe that I was going to go running to Damon? We were just friends, nothing else. Why no one believe it was beyond me.
However things started to go downhill after I told Stefan about my kiss with Damon. I wasn't going to tell him, but we all know how things can be ruined is a secret is kept for too long. So I told, and he was really weird about it. At first he left me alone at the boarding house for nearly an hour, without saying a word. Good thing Damon was out. Otherwise it would be worse.
When he got back, he was looking at me with a little hurt in his eyes, and a big flame of anger. And was then that I realized how Stefan had changed in the last month.
"What the hell were you thinking Elena? Why would you kiss Damon? Damon of all people?"
When I was about to answer he started yelling again. If he didn't want me to answer, why did he asked?
"This is exactly why I didn't want you guys so close together, he can't be trusted, he does everything he can to ruin my life. And he is just dragging you with him. He doesn't love you, and if he did, it would be only because you look like her, like Katherine."
I couldn't stop the burning in my eyes. What he said hurt for some reason. But it wasn't because of Stefan, that much I knew. "Is that the real reason why you love me?" I asked before leaving his house.
According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
After what seemed like an eternity, I was in my room, wondering why I wasn't crying my eyes out. I got my diary behind the paint and sat in my bed. When I was about to write, I felt my bed move slightly. I looked beside me and there Damon, looking at me seriously, no smirk, no playfulness, nothing but seriousness.
We were looking into into each others eyes, and it was like nothing else existed. Only us. What a strange thing to think. Right? For a moment I thought so. But then I realized that, somehow, this happened a lot in the last month.
"What are you doing here?" I asked when I noticed we were leaning towards one another.
"I saw you leaving the boarding house, looking upset. I asked Stefan what had happened and he told it was my fault, after he tried to kill me again by the way." I gasped with what he said. "So I figured you told him about our kiss. I came to see if you were ok?" He said getting up from my bed, going to the door and closing it. "Jenna's home." He told me before I could ask why he closed the door. "So, are you ok?"
I took a deep breath before saying anything. "I don't know actually. I should be sad or angry or even guilty, but I don't feel any of those things. I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now."
He smiled at me and all I could think about was kissing his smile away. As soon as I thought that, I looked down to my diary, that was resting closed on my lap. He sat in front of me, put my diary on the nightstand and pulled me closer to him. "I think you feeling relieved, because you told him the truth, and confused because you have feelings for me and don't know how to deal with it." He said, his hands on each side of my face, pulling me inches from his face. We were almost kissing when my phone rang. Stefan. Terrible timing. I knew it was him before even looking at the screen.
I got up to answer it and when I turn around again, Damon was gone.
"Hello?" I answered the phone after a while, a little breathless.
"Are you busy right now? We need to talk. I'm coming over." Stefan said without giving me chance to answer. Before I could do anything, he was entering in my room through the window. "What was Damon doing her?" He asked as a form of greeting.
"Hello to you too Stefan. "I said walking to the door, being stopped by a strong hand in my arm.
"Can you answer the damn question?" His tone of voice was even, but, besides the wording, his body was tense. Meaning he was angry.
"We were talking, he was worried about me." Oops, wrong thing to say, I know. But I was getting tired of this Stefan that I didn't care anymore.
"Worried? Really? He said that?"
"Not with this words. But I know he was." I tried to get my arm back, he tightened his grip. It was starting to hurt.
"How can you be so sure about that?" He asked turning me around, so I was fully looking at him, with my back pressing the door.
Something about the way he was looking at me, made me uncomfortable, all I wanted was to stay as far way from him as possible. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, not because I was liking the position, but because, somehow, he was frightening me.
"I am only sure that you hurting me Stefan. Let go." I said, gulping. Trying to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.
Realizing his mistake, he let me go and was across the room in a second. Looking at me guiltily, that was replaced by indifference. My heart broke, no matter what happened, I still had feeling for him.
"He's not the only to blame apparently." And just like that he was gone.
According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
Once again I waited for tears that never came. Taking a deep breath I went downstairs for a glass of water. I had to stop at the door to the kitchen when I saw Jenna and Mr. Saltzman making out on the kitchen counter. Not wanting to disturb them, I went back to my room. Thirsty. As soon as I closed the door all the questioning came back. Especially the questions about my feelings. I had to talk to Stefan. I didn't want things weird between us.
I left the house as silent as I could, Jenna and Mr. Saltzman (Alaric now?) were still in the kitchen. I drove all the way thinking about how I was going to start a conversation with Stefan when all he could do was yell at me.
I walked to the door and was about to knock when the door opened. Damon stood there, beautiful as always, smirking at me.
"Elena."
"Is Stefan here?" I asked entering the house.
"He's out. Hunting, I believe."
"Do you mind if I wait here?"
"Of course not."
Of course he wouldn't mind. That's Damon we talking about here. Stefan would mind though, a lot. I sat on the couch, and waited, and waited, and waited. Where was Stefan? Was he hunting outside the state? I almost leaving when he arrived.
"Stefan, hi." I said getting up and going in his direction.
"What're you doing here?" He asked going the other way. Leaving me standing there alone. Avoiding, new tactic. Good to know.
"We should talk." I turned around and got back in the living room. Damon was nowhere to be found. Guess he left when he heard Stefan coming.
"About what? I have nothing to talk to you right now Elena. He said looking everywhere but me. I waited this whole time for this?
"What happened to you Stefan?"
"You kissed Damon, that's what." I was about to reply when he starts again. "I can't talk to you right now. Especially after what happened in your room early. Because the only thing I think when I look at you is you and Damn, together. And I don't want to deal with this right now, with you. Please leave. When I'm ready to talk, I'll call you." I heard a door being closed upstairs, before I even realizing he left the room.
I'm mess in a dress
Can't show in time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
According to you
The car drive took me to the old church. The only sounds I heard were birds and the wind. I was there for a while, finding comfort in the silence. I jumped slightly when I sobbed. It was so suddenly that it scared me. The tears finally came. I don't know how long I was there, didn't care either, the tears just kept coming and coming. It was like a waterfall.
Before I realized what was going on, I was in my room, being held by strong arms. For some unknown reason, I didn't want to leave his arms. I know I should, but I didn't want to. I think I fell sleep, because when I opened my eyes again, it was morning already. I was still in an embrace, not so tight as the night before, but still comfortable. I didn't dare move, it was too good.
"Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to guess?" Damon's voice was gentle and low but enough to shook me from my stupor.
"I thought you were sleeping?" I said, avoiding his question.
"I don't sleep much. And it's afternoon already." I looked at the clock in my bedside table and confirm it was afternoon. It was a really good sleep. "I'll guess then." He stopped, took a breath and moved so we were looking at each other eyes. "He said he didn't want to talk to you, that he'll call later, and it was my fault. Am I right?"
I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. He took the hint and kissed my forehead before getting up. "We should go out."
"What?"
"Yeah. Like when we went to Georgia. You had fun."
"I was drunk Damon."
"What's stopping you from getting drunk again?" He started rummaging through my closet, throwing me clothes. "Go take a shower and get dressed."
"And why would I do that?"
"Because, we are going out my sweet Elena. And you are going to forget about Stefan for a while."
"I don't know Damon." I was going to say yes. Lately I couldn't say no to him, and he knew that. Maybe that's Stefan's problem.
"I'll be back in a few minutes. Be ready to leave Elena." And with that he went out the window.
I took my time getting ready. I was looking forward to this, and the thought scared me. Twenty minutes later there was knocking on my front door. That's new. Since when Damon knocks?
I was halfway down the stairs, when Jenna opened the door and let Damon in. "Are you guys going out?" She asked looking at me disapprovingly.
"Yes, we are aunt Jenna. Is there a problem?" I questioned stopping in front of her, beside Damon.
"No, not a problem. Have fun." Sarcasm thick in her voice.
"Don't worry, I will." I said grabbing my purse and coat, pulling Damon out the door.
"I know she never really like me. But now she hates me." He told me while opening the car door for me.
"She saw our kiss remember?" I reminded him when he was seated behind the wheel. "So, where we going?"
"Out." of course. "Just relax and enjoy the ride."
After I don't know how many hours of driving in silence, a comfortable silence, we parked outside what looked like a club. I can't believe he took me to dance.
He got out of the car, before I could react, he was opening my door and helping me out.
"Ready to forget?" He asked me with a smirk, a really sexy one.
"Lead the way." I said smiling at him. After all, what else could I do? I was already there, better have fun.
The place was crowded. As soon as we walked in he put his hand on my lower back and directed me to the bar. We sat there drinking beer, and downing shots when it started. In less than five minutes, eight women came to talk to him, but the weird part? He said no to all of them. When I asked why he simply smiled and whisper to me: "I only have eyes for you my sweet Elena." His breath made me shiver, and when he kissed my cheek, my breath hitched and my stomach tightened. OMG. The things this man makes me feel.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
Incredible
He can't get me out of his head
We danced and drinked the whole night. I was drunk enough when I told Damon we should leave. "Leave? Come on Elena. It's too early to go home." Damon whined.
"Who said anything about going home?" I smirked at him and walked to the door.
"If you keep saying things like this, I don't know if I will be able to control myself." He said pinning me against the door. I could feel his hard chest pressed in my back. Too soon he left, pulling me out the door.
We drove around aimlessly until we found an empty park. It was late, after 3 am, I think. He parked and got out. I sat there for a minute, unsure of what to do. It took me this minute to realize I didn't care about Stefan that much anymore. Specially when the only person in my mind was Damon.
"Elena, don't be a buzz killer. Get out." Damon called from the outside. Climbing out of the car, I was going to sit in one of the swings when he pushed me back against him. That was our usual position that night. My back pressed against him chest, his hands around my waist, his breath tickling my neck and my heart thundering inside my chest.
"You have no idea how much I want you right now. In every way possible." He whispered, moving one of his hands to rest on my thigh. I shuddered because it was all I wanted too.
"And what are you going to do about that?" I breathed out, rubbing myself on him, I could feel his length growing. He growled and let me go. I almost fell from the sudden lack of support.
"Elena, Elena. You can't say stuff like that, and expect me not to do anything." He was already on the other side of the park. I was confused for a moment, and then it hit me. He was controlling himself because of Stefan.
"Damon... I... Uhn..." I was suddenly very sober.
"I think we should go back."
"I don't want to go back yet." I said, regaining control of my brain.
"Elena..."
"Look, Damon, I know we shouldn't do anything, but I want to. And you said I should forget. Help me forget." He was in front of me instantly.
"There's only one thing I want, need, right now. And I don't know if you're willing to give me." He was holding my face with both hands, and I felt myself leaning. He couldn't compelled me, I could feel the cold necklace around me neck. I knew I was willing. To everything.
According to him
I'm funny
Irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
"Do it."
"What?" He looked at me with shock.
"Do it. I want to feel it. I know you can make it pleasurable."
"Elena, that's not a good idea."
"It's the best idea I ever had. Please Damon." I don't know if he could tell I was being honest or not. I only knew I was already lied down on the backseat, with him on top of me, kissing me passionately.
His hands were everywhere but the place I wanted the most. He took his time exploring my mouth, I started undoing his buttons with clumsy fingers. I was shaking with anticipation and want. We broke the kiss for a second, so he could take off my shirt.
We kissed for a while longer before he kissed his way down, kissing all the showing skin he could reach.
"Damon, please." I felt his smirk against my collarbone. He started nibbling my nipple over my bra. I moaned out loud. The car echo making even louder. Stefan never made me feel this good, and we were still dressed, or partially.
"We should go somewhere." He said with his lips in my bellybutton.
"Maybe... later..." My breath was coming in short little gasps. What was he doing with his tongue? Oh My God! I was so worked up already, that I was sure as soon as he touched me I would come undone. If that didn't happen before he touched me. "I... just... I just... want to... to... feel..." I tried to say reaching between our bodies, trying to unbutton and unzip his pants.
He held my hands and put them above my head.
"Don't move." He said reaching my pants, taking them off slowly, teasingly.
"Damon." I moaned when I felt his hands on my bare thighs.
"You smell so deliciously." He was so close and yet he didn't touch me where I needed to be touched.
He kissed his way up, all the way to my lips. My hands itching to touch him, but tonight I was extremely submissive to him. And I like it. Weird.
He licked my bottom lip, asking access to my mouth. When I didn't granted, he slipped a finger inside my panties. My eyes shut tight.
I gasped and he used that to his advantage. I couldn't care less to what he was doing with his tongue. His hand had finally found its way to the right place.
"Damon!" I almost yelled when he pinched my clit. I was so close and yet so far. He thrusted two fingers inside of me, in and out. Slowly at first, then increasing the tempo at the same time he started sucking on my pulse point on my throat. It was all too much, I was more and more close to the climax. "Damon, please." I groaned when he hit the right spot. "Oh God... right... there..."
He did it again, and two more times before he bit me. I gasped and stop breathing for a moment. I could feel my blood boiling inside. It was so intense, so good. I came. Hard. When I came down from my high, a few minutes later, I opened my eyes and looked at him. Those intense blue eyes staring at me. Full of satisfaction, lust, and dare I say it, love.
I didn't know how long we stayed like that, just looking at one another. The sun was starting to made his presence known, breaking the charm.
"Are you ok? I think I drank too much. You should drink from me, you will feel better and it'll take the mark off." He said biting his own wrist and putting on my mouth. The first time he did that was completely disgusting, but this time, it felt good. It was like we connected or something. "I should take you home now."
"Ok." It was all I could manage to say. I've never felt such intense pleasure before. I couldn't wait to do it again.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me
what I got to lose
he's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
He kept stealing glances at me the whole way back to Mystic Falls. It was starting to annoy me.
"What?" I asked after the tenth glance.
"I'm just making sure you're ok." He answered taking my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Too soon for my taste, we were parking on my driveway.
"Try not to die for a while. You have my blood on your system." He said with a smirk, releasing my hand.
"Haha. Funny Damon. Maybe I'll kill myself, so I'll be stuck with you for the rest of eternity. What you think?"
"Tempting." It was a rhetorical question. He shouldn't have answered it.
"Bye Damon." I was opening the door when he grabbed my hand, pulling me for a passionate kiss.
"See you late my sweet Elena." I waved at him from the front door. All I wanted right now was a long bath and sleep.
I entered the house and was greeted by a very upset Jenna.
"Good morning, Jenna." Trouble. Probably grounded. Like that would stop me from seeing Damon. I mean Stefan. OH! Who am I kidding?
"You arriving now?" Jenna asked, trying to sound uninterested.
"Actually, yeah." I was at the bottom of the stairs, ready to go to my room when she stopped me.
"You were out all night with Damon?"
Deep breaths. "Yes, I was." One step up.
"What about Stefan? I thought you guys were dating. Are you dating Damon now? What happened?" Oh God. An interrogation? At this hour? I'm so exhausted right now.
"I don't know what's going on with me and Stefan. I am NOT dating Damon. And nothing happened. I am going to my room now, going to take a shower and going to bed. We can talk about this later if you want to."
When I woke up that afternoon, Stefan was standing on the foot of my bed, staring me down. I was so not in the mood for that.
"Hello Elena."
"Hi Stefan." I said getting up, a massive hangover making itself known.
"Did you have fun last night? With my brother?"
"Is there why you here?" I stopped halfway to the bathroom and turned to look at him. He was still at the foot of my bed, but was now facing me.
A headache, a terrible mood, that comes with said headache, and a moody boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?). Everything I need right now.
"What happened between you and Damon?" He asked with no emotion in his voice.
"Nothing happened. We went out. We had fun. That's what friends do." I wasn't going to tell him that, right now, Damon was more than just a friend.
It looked like he bought my lie, that's good. Right?
"Whatever. I was thinking that maybe we could go out. Talk." He was suddenly in front of me.
"Right now?" Please say no, please say no.
"Yes." Ugh!
"I don't think I can. I have to talk to Jenna about this morning. She didn't like me getting here so late, early? I don't know. Can't we go out later?" Please just go away Stefan.
"Are you saying that, just because it's me, you don't want to go out?"
"What?" Is he serious? The guy simply turns me down when I want to talk, and now I can't just postpone the weird conversation, I'm sure we about to have? What's wrong with him? Actually, what's wrong with me? Since when do I miss an opportunity to be with Stefan? Oh right. Since Damon kissed me.
"If it was Damon asking you out would you say yes right way or not?"
"It's not about the person, it's about the situation. I would love to go out with you." Liar. "But right now I can't. I really need to talk with Jenna. Please come back later." I enter the bathroom before he could say anything else.
Breathing out a sigh of relieve, I reached one of the drawers and pulled out a bottle of painkillers. My head was worse by now. I went back to my room, empty, finally, and changed into some presentable clothes.
According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
You can't take me any place.
With my head still pounding I went downstairs, remembering what happened between me and Damon. It was already really hard to avoid him, now would be completely impossible.
Facing Jenna right now would be hard. I would have to be a really good liar if I didn't want her finding out what happened with Damon. I still had to know exactly what was going on before anyone could.
I walked into the kitchen to find Jenna, Alaric and Jeremy like a happy little family. There is something you don't see everyday.
"Hey." I said alerting them to my presence.
"Hello Elena." Alaric answered politely, looking at me like I was stranger or something.
Jeremy simply stood up and left. He was still mad at me because I lied to him, and probably because Anna just died.
"I'll leave you two alone to talk. See you later Jenna. Bye Elena."
"Bye." I waited until I heard the door closing before saying anything. And I know Jenna was waiting for some kind of explanation. That I certainly didn't have.
"So... Are you going to start the interrogation or can I leave?" I asked sitting in the chair opposite to her.
"I'm just trying to understand what happened last night."
"Like I said before, nothing happened. I was upset because of my fight with Stefan. Damon took me out, we danced and he brought me home. That's it."
"Are you sure Elena? Because the last time I saw you two together you were kissing." She sounded annoyed.
"It was a mistake, that kiss. Nothing happened after. I promise."
"Ok. If you say so." She said getting up. I guess I was getting better in this lying thing.
"I'll be in Stefan's. See you later." I left before she could say something else.
And now the worst part of all this, talk to Stefan.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes
'Cause I always give it away
I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with that
According to you
According to you
I was driving in silence, thinking about what I was going to tell Stefan when I saw Damon in the road. If I wasn't driving slowly I could have caused an accident, again.
I waited for him to get inside before breathing one more time. He stared at me for a while and I stared right back. Neither said anything, waiting the other to start.
"What..."
"We should..." We said at the same time.
"Go ahead." He asked smirking. I shook my head no and asked what he was going to say instead.
"I think we should talk before you go to the boarding house. Clear things between us."
"I didn't know we had to 'clear things between us'. But let's talk. If that's what you want."
"I don't want to talk. We just have to. Specially if you're going to say something to Stefan."
"Well, I have to tell him something."
"I know that. But don't you think you should know what you're going to say. He's really suspicious." He was getting closer by the second and I couldn't stop thinking about how good he smelled.
"Maybe I should be honest with him. This lying thing is not good, and it's killing me. When he finds out is going to be worse."
"It doesn't matter if you say now or later, the result is going to be the same. Me. Dead. By Stefan's hands. Is that what you want?"
"Of course not. But do you honestly think it's a good idea to keep lying to him? He's already suspicious. And he's probably comparing me with Katherine." That thought was just wrong.
"You're nothing like her. And I agree, it's not nice lie to Stefan. We should just figure things out first."
"What are you trying to say?" I hate the way he affected me. His smell was all around me, making my thoughts cloudy.
"I'm just saying when we work it out, we go and tell Stefan. Everything you want."
Dangerous. His plan was just dangerous because I was really tempted to say yes.
"I'm going to talk to him first. Don't worry, I'll make sure he won't kill you." He looked disappointed.
"Ok. But before, I have to tell you something. No matter what happens in your conversation with Stefan or after that, know that I want to be with you Elena. For as long as you take me." He was gone before I could even process what he said.
With that thought I kept my way to the boarding house.
I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
Oh - no -
Stefan was waiting for me at the door with a grumpy expression. I took deep breaths and left the car. I thought I had all prepared to say but when I saw him, my mind went blank. He was going to hate me and he was going to kill Damon.
"Hello Stefan." I said getting close to him, but not close enough for him to touch me. I felt like I was going to crumble at any moment.
"Elena. What are you doing here?" His face now blank, emotionless.
"I thought you wanted to talk."
"I thought you didn't want to." He was going to make things harder. Of course he would.
"I said I couldn't before, but now I can."
"It's not going to change the fact that you're breaking up with me." Wait... What?
"I never said that." But I thought about it. It was so hard to make a choice. Although it was really easy to say yes to any of Damon's requests. And even easier to say no to Stefan. So I guess I had already made my choice.
"You didn't have to say. Everything is different between us Elena, ever since you kissed Damon. I wouldn't make you choose, but... now is the only thing I think about. It's too hard to just sit there and wait for you. I feel like... Katherine is playing with us all over again. It hurts too much already, and is going to hurt even worse if I don't hurry things. So please, save your speech and choose. Me or Damon?"
Why can't you see me
through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, no words came out. My mind was an empty sea. I knew I wanted to be with Damon, now more than ever, but still, I couldn't utter the words.
I heard a noise behind me and turned around to see what it was. Damon was there with the same blank expression, waiting my decision. My heart started beating wildly with just the sight of him. And I guess that gave me away. I didn't have to say anything. My body reaction was answer enough.
I turned around again and Stefan looked ready to kill someone, namely Damon.
"Stefan please don't." I didn't know what else to say.
He looked at me for a second and looked back at Damon. I couldn't look away from Stefan, afraid that if I did it would be too late.
"Please Stefan, I'm begging. Please don't." He looked at me one more time before going inside the house. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen in my spot. I relaxed though, as soon as Damon put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
"I think he's packing." I felt terrible. I didn't want him to leave.
"He shouldn't have to go."
"It's what he wants. That's nothing you can do about that."
We stayed at that same position until Stefan showed up at the door again. He took a look at us and laughed humorlessly.
"For some reason I knew history would repeat itself. Congratulations Damon."
But according to me
You're stupid
You're useless
You can't do anything right
I was feeling horrible watching Stefan leave, but at the same time, I was melting in Damon's arms. I felt loved, cared, protected. I just felt. I didn't have to think. I just had to be. And that was amazing.
THE END
A\N: Hope you guys liked. LUV Y'ALL.