A/N: First story (:
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club. Just my OC.
The girl stopped in front of the two double-doors. She looked up, large brown eyes sweeping over the sign hanging above her. "Music Room #3." This was the place.
She was a small thing, with glossy dark brown hair cut in straight bang across the front and long-lashed brown eyes that seemed too big for her pale face. She was dressed in a green-themed schoolgirl uniform. She carried a brown satchel over one shoulder, stamped with "Kirimoto Girls Academy."
The girl placed one thin hand on the door handle and swung it open vigorously. A sensational flurry of velvety red rose petals spiraled out of the room as a flash of white light momentarily blinded her. She gave a short gasp.
"Welcome," several sultry voices said in unison. The girl raised one eyebrow as she scrutinized the getup before her. One blond dude in a blue Chinese cheongsam (weren't those only worn by women?), a black-haired guy with glasses in a red and gold silk shirt (he looked like a real nerd but she liked his small smile), two peach-haired twins with mischievous smirks on their faces in black fedoras (they were kind of cute, just kind of, but looked a lot like genuine devils), a tall kid with a well-toned body (the extensive amount of apathy written on his face was amazing if not creepy), and finally a smiling, adorable goldilocks sitting on the tall guy's shoulders holding a pink stuffed rabbit (what a baby…). Okay, this clearly wasn't right. Where was her older sister?
"Hi!" the little honey-haired boy waved to the girl excitedly from his perch on the expressionless man's shoulders. He gestured to his rabbit. "This is Usa-chan. Wanna hold him?"
She raised her other eyebrow as she looked around the extremely oriental and ostentatious room. "Uh…"
"My, my, looks like we have a new guest," the princely blonde extended a bejeweled hand towards her. "And a rather young one too. How do you do, my princess? Which of our services will you be requesting today?"
"Are you a boy? You're wearing a girl's dress," the girl asked him right back, one eye twitching in distaste. He instantly recoiled, his blue eyes shocked.
"Wh-what did she just ask?" he gasped, placing a hand over his heart in pain. God, what a drama queen.
"She asked if you were a boy, since you're kind of wearing an outfit worn only by Chinese women. A perfectly good question to ask of you, Tamaki-sempai," a new voice said flatly from behind the girl. She instantly turned and gaped. There was a gentle-eyed brunette holding grocery bags. The newcomer gave her a single look. The two of them blanched.
"Ha…ruhi?" the girl in the uniform asked in a small voice.
"Sakura?" the brunette with the shopping bags dropped her load to the ground, not caring about the cans and bottles that came spilling out.
"The instant coffee!" the twins cried out, racing to save the club's signature drink.
"Haruhi!" the girl cried before racing to her to wrap her arms around the brunette's waist.
"Uh, anyone care to explain," one twin began.
"This situation to us?" the other finished.
"Who's this girl anyway?" they chorused.
"As of what I know, she's not in my database," the black-haired boy with glasses inspected the table of contents in his little black book. "Highly odd."
"You're not going to have everyone in that book of yours, Kyoya-sempai," Haruhi deadpanned.
"Do you want to eat some cake with me?" the little boy hopped off his friend's shoulders and approached the new girl. "We have strawberry and chocolate and green tea!"
"Honey, leave her be," Haruhi addressed the boy gently. "She's probably had quite a rough journey here."
"Who is she anyway?" Tamaki echoed the first twin's question, but with a grumbling tone to his inquiry. He still hadn't gotten over being snubbed by this stranger.
"She's…she's my little sister, Fujioka Sakura," Haruhi said softly. The girl raised her head and gazed into her older sister's eyes, her own brown ones quavering.
"You have a little sister?" Tamaki and the twins said as one, their mouths hanging wide open in shock. The girl released her grip around Haruhi and turned to face them.
"Didn't she just say that I'm her little sister? So obviously she does," Sakura spat.
"Feisty," the quiet man said with a small smile.
"She's the spitting image of you, Haruhi," Tamaki exclaimed.
"Well, yeah, we're sisters. As novel as the idea may seem to you, sempai, siblings often do look alike," Haruhi said flatly.
"Kyoya, how long have you known this?" the first twin exclaimed.
"Well, I was quite aware of the fact Haruhi had a younger sister who attended a private boarding school in Kyoto and was well-known for her argumentative debater skills, A-class musical abilities, and well-practiced martial arts. As I did not have a picture of her in my database, I was unable to tell that this girl was Fujioka Sakura," Kyoya's glasses glinted in the afternoon sunlight.
"Don't you ever think it's kind of creepy, how Kyoya knows just about everything about everyone?" the second twin asked.
"Not really, I mean, we've all gotten used to it," Haruhi shrugged.
"Sakura-chan! You and I are going to be great friends," the little boy said as he raced over and grabbed the girl's hand. He proceeded to tug her to the cake-laden table on the other of the room, babbling about his Usa-chan and the different varieties of sweets she just had to try.
"Hold on, I don't even know who you are," Sakura managed to free herself from his grip.
"I'm Haninozuka Mitzukuni, third-year student," he said with a cute smile. "But call me Honey."
"You're a third-year student who's still obsessed with stuffed animals and sweets, and who's shorter than me," Sakura deadpanned. "And who's called Honey."
"Yup!" Honey said.
"And who are the three of you?" Sakura turned a sharp eye on the twins and Tamaki.
"I'm Suou Tamaki, second-year student, son of the school dean, and president of the Ouran High School Host Club," Tamaki swept a bow as best as he could in his cheongsam. He tossed back his head of blond hair, a charming smile on his face. His charisma had no effect on her. After all, her first impression of him had been a real dumb blonde. Not quite favorable.
"I'm Hitachiin Hikaru," the first twin said. "First-year student."
"And I'm Hitachiin Kaoru, first-year student as well," the second twin added. "Try to tell us apart!"
"I don't think you needed to tell her you were a first-year as well," Haruhi said. "She can kinda tell."
"Twins," Sakura said pensively. She looked from one boy to the other, before breaking out into a sunshiney smile. "Cute!"
"Did she just call them cute?" Tamaki froze. The twins smirked in unison at him. Hitachiin twins, 1, Boss, 0. The game was already in their favor.
"No; I called the idea of them being twins cute," Sakura said, glaring at each of them in turn. She then turned to Kyoya and the quiet man. "Who are you guys?"
"Ootori Kyoya, vice-president of the Ouran High School Host Club," Kyoya said, fixing his glasses. "Second-year student."
"Morinozuka Takashi," the unnamed one spoke quietly. "Third-year student."
"You're the Judo and Kendo master, aren't you?" Sakura asked. "I think I remember your demonstration in Kyoto two years back."
"Yeah," Mori responded.
"Wow, you're a quiet one, aren't you?" Sakura asked, blinking at his laconicism.
"What was your first clue?" Haruhi deadpanned. "And also, what are you doing here?"
"Oh yeah, my story," Sakura cleared her voice, feigning dramatic.
"Don't even," Haruhi said shortly. Sakura shot her a quick glare.
"Anyway, I guess it began sometime last year," Sakura quickly sobered down. "Dad wanted me to withdraw from Kirimoto because it was getting too expensive, even with the three-quarters Dragon scholarship. Last year was going to be my last year there, but I guess he kind of forgot about me with all the work he has to do, so I stayed there. I paid off the first term tuition and dorm fees by working as library staff and assisting the music teacher. I held a couple local piano concerts nearby, which drew in enough money to feed me. But when I heard that you'd transferred to Ouran after Dad finally remembered he had a second daughter, I decided to take the entrance exam for the middle school here. I won the full-ride scholarship so there aren't any fees to worry about."
"What sort of father forgets about his daughter?" Hikaru and Kaoru exclaimed as one.
"Apparently ours does," Sakura said flatly.
"Do you know where you'll be staying now?" Haruhi asked.
"Isn't it a given that she would stay with you?" Kyoya looked surprised for the first time since…well, for the first time.
"Our apartment only serves two people. And plus, Sakura and our father aren't exactly on pleasant terms," Haruhi responded. "Which is why he probably didn't forget her, but rather didn't want to deal with her. It is your own fault, Kura-chan."
"Dad hasn't ever been the ideal parent, and I don't recognize him as my real father," Sakura said bitterly. Mori and Kyoya each raised an eyebrow at this declaration.
"That doesn't sound like Ranka-san," Tamaki said thoughtfully.
"Does Sakura-chan want to stay with me? There's cake at our house!" Honey said cheerfully before choosing another dessert to gorge himself on.
"I don't think that's what she had in mind," Mori responded.
"You don't?" Honey looked up at the stoic man, his brownish eyes quavering with tears.
"Actually, I've already found a place to stay," Sakura butted in before Honey could unleash the waterworks. "I'm working part-time at a mixed-Asian café near the school. It sells some pretty good PMT and mochi. They offered me a flat to live in."
"What's PMT?" Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru asked in unison.
"Commoners' snack," Kyoya muttered.
"Is it a kind of cake? Maybe Usa-chan will like it," Honey inquired. Mori shook his head no.
"Actually, PMT is a kind of drink," Haruhi said blankly. "Pearl milk tea. It's pretty good stuff."
"Is it like instant coffee?" Hikaru asked.
"That's the club's signature drink," Kaoru added.
"Okay, I have a couple questions before we explain what PMT is," Sakura said suddenly. "What the hell is this Host Club anyway? A ton of the girls at Kirimoto were obsessed over magazines that had your faces in them. And I don't see why."
"Ah, yes, only one type of the club merchandise we sell," Kyoya said with a satisfied expression. "It has become extremely popular throughout the area."
"The Ouran High School Host Club is a group of the handsomest boys on campus with too much time on their hands who dedicate their time to entertaining young ladies who also have too much time on their hands," Tamaki explained.
"That sounds pretty pathetic," Sakura shrugged. Tamaki face-faulted in disbelief before hurrying into a corner to sulk and grow mushrooms.
"It is," Mori muttered under his breath. Honey looked up at him, surprise in those baby amber eyes.
"What makes you say that?" the twins chorused.
"Yeah, saying that we're pathetic is bad!" Honey jutted out his bottom lip in a pout.
"Don't get worked up, Honey, have another cake," Sakura said calmly.
"Okay!" Honey said cheerily.
"Make sure you brush your teeth later," Mori cautioned.
"I will," Honey smiled.
"The club is pretty pathetic. Kura's right," Haruhi gave a short laugh.
"What makes you say that, too?" the twins demanded.
"I mean, don't you guys have anything better to do with your time? Like, I don't know, maybe study and do something that'll hopefully help you in the future? Because at this rate you guys are on the way to ending up homeless in the streets," Sakura shrugged.
"We'd never end up homeless. Our families are wealthy enough to ensure that," Kyoya said coolly.
"Wow, what a mama's boy," Sakura said in surprise. "Didn't expect that from you."
"Kura, don't you think you're taking the directness just a little too far?" Haruhi rebuked.
"It's just my personality, I guess," Sakura said with a shrug of the shoulders and a sweet smile that instantly won over Kyoya. For though he wouldn't admit it, he had a soft spot for innocent, direct, unmarred girls like the one before him. They reminded him of…no, he wouldn't think about it. He wouldn't think about her.
"Hmm, maybe we should give this pearl milk tea a try," Hikaru said thoughtfully.
"It doesn't seem that bad," Kaoru agreed.
"All right, we'll try it!" the two of them chorused. "Boss, what about you?"
Tamaki was still sulking in his corner.
"Oh cheer up, blondie, you're acting like a spoiled brat," Sakura said exasperatedly. Haruhi hid a smile at her little sister's brashness.
"I'm not a spoiled brat! I'm a sweet, courteous, charming, charismatic gentleman!" Tamaki waved his arms in furious gesticulation that made him seem all the more ridiculous. After all, a man in a cheongsam with a face redder than a chili pepper and mushrooms sprouting all over his back would look pretty funny even while staying still.
"You look like an angry turkey who's been digging through a pile of fungi and has eaten one red lobster too many," Sakura said, crossing her arms and looking away disdainfully. At this point, Haruhi was laughing outright with the twins as Kyoya looked on with an amused smile on his face.
"She's got spunk," Mori said with a small smile of his own.
"She's being bad to Tama-chan," Honey turned his big eyes on Mori.
"I think Tamaki needs it," Mori said quietly. "He's used to being petted. This girl may save him from overindulgence."
"Do you think so?" Honey questioned. Mori nodded before absentmindedly wiping crumbs from Honey's mouth with a nearby napkin.
"All right, you two, break it up," Kyoya said apathetically.
"Come help me, mommy," Tamaki pleaded.
"I'm sure you can handle this on your own, being the big boy you think yourself to be, daddy," Kyoya responded.
"Wait, what?" Sakura said in surprise. "So if Kyoya is Tamaki's mom, that means Kyoya married Tamaki's father after Tamaki married someone who gave birth to Kyoya…I'm confused."
"They're not really family, Kura-chan," Haruhi brought her palm to her forehead in exasperation.
"That's somewhat questionable," the twins said as one.
"The Host Club is like a big family!" Honey exclaimed from where he was starting in on a chocolate and strawberry mousse. "Tama-chan's the daddy, Kyo-chan's the mommy, Haru-chan's the sister, Hika-chan and Kaoru-chan are the brothers, and Takashi and I are the big uncles!"
"You're not very big for a 'big uncle,'" Sakura muttered under her breath. Out loud, she declared, "You guys may be the most messed up folks I've ever met."
"You're very direct in your speech, Fujioka Sakura," Kyoya remarked.
"What was your first clue?" Sakura asked him, her eyes narrowing in disdain. He gave a small, bitter smile. Seeing his eyes glaze over, Sakura made a small noise of confusion.
"You remind me very much of a girl I used to know. She had eyes just like yours," Kyoya said before walking out. "I won't be attending club activities for the day."
"What's up with him?" Hikaru asked.
"Dunno, probably just an overload of stuff to do," Kaoru shrugged. "But then again, Kyoya-sempai never misses out on club activities."
"He is vice-president after all," Hikaru commented. "What do you think, boss?"
"Oh, God, now I see it," Tamaki had been uncannily staring at Sakura's face while she gave him the deadliest glare he would ever be given in his life. "You do look a lot like her."
"A lot like who?" Haruhi asked.
"Maybe Kyo-chan had a secret lover before," Honey placed a finger on his jam-stained chin in thought.
"I doubt it," Mori muttered.
"You remind him of his deceased sister, Minako," Tamaki said slowly. "She died of a lung infection when she was nine, about a year before I met Kyoya."
"Kyoya-sempai has never spoken of her," Haruhi said. She was shocked. "I-I didn't know."
"I don't think any of us did," Kaoru spoke quietly. His golden eyes were serious, no longer filled to the brim with a good-humored, joking light.
"That's just awful," Hikaru muttered. Cursing under his breath, he stalked out of the room in the same direction as Kyoya. Naturally, Kaoru called out after him before following in quick pursuit.
"Takashi, did Kyoya ever talk about Mina-chan?" Honey looked up at the tall, silent man.
"No," was the simple answer.
"It's understandable that Kyoya would hide it," Tamaki gave a short laugh. "He's just the type. He doesn't talk about his insecurities and problems with anyone else."
"The Ootori family, huh?" Sakura's eyes narrowed. "Third son. Naturally the expectations for Kyoya are far higher than those for his two elder brothers. He's only got so much room to grow, like there's a set frame and he must paint a beautiful picture inside it. What our job is is to draw him out and show him that he can be anything he wants to be. He can splatter paint outside of the frame he's given."
"Since when were you a part of this club?" Tamaki turned his blue gaze on Sakura.
"I don't want to be a part of your pathetic club," she gave a scornful sniff. "But Kyoya seems to be in need of help right now. And since he seems like a pretty chill guy, I want to help him."
"Good grief," Haruhi slapped herself lightly on the forehead again. "Kura-chan, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"When have any of my ideas been anything but good?" Sakura asked, a pretty smile playing at her lips.
"Um," Haruhi began listing off, only to see no one exactly cared.
"I want to help Kyo-chan too!" Honey exclaimed.
"Yeah," Mori said shortly.
"Okay, so first off, all club activities are cancelled for the day," Sakura announced.
"What?!" Tamaki's expression was nothing short of horrified. "But…our guests…"
"What matters more to you, your best friend or these dimwitted, hormonal teenage girls who should be more than ashamed of themselves?" Sakura glared at him. Just then, the frightening sound of a powerful motor filled the room.
"Not again," Haruhi groaned.
"Fujioka Sakura!" Renge appeared, pointing an accusing finger at the junior high girl.
"Yes, that's my name," Sakura said calmly. She didn't seem to be perturbed at all by the seemingly maniacal French girl cosplaying as a medieval prince in a well-feathered hat who had just risen from the ground on a circular platform. "And you are?"
"Renge, the manager of the Ouran Highschool Host Club. I request that you not intrude on club activities with your brattish ideals. Kyoya is the epitome of perfection, and nothing will change him. Do you understand?" Renge glared down at Sakura in hopes of intimidating her. Well, that certainly didn't work.
"Kura-chan, do us a favor and try not to kill her, okay?" Haruhi murmured. "I know it can be a little tough at times."
"Don't call Haruhi's little sister a brat!" Tamaki exclaimed.
"Don't worry; she's used to it," Haruhi replied blankly.
"Is that a remark of reassurance or an insult?" Sakura demanded.
"Renge looks like a prince, Takashi," Honey whispered. "But she doesn't have a crown."
"Yeah," Mori responded, not taking his eyes off the wildly lecturing French blonde. He was thinking the exact same thing as everyone else in the room. What's her problem?
"Excuse me," Sakura said deadpan, interrupting the quickly escalating lecture Renge was delivering. "What's your point?"
Not used to being cut off so suddenly, Renge gave a sniff before regaining her composure.
"Like I was saying, you can't just simply cancel all club activities for a day. It's highly impractical and I, as the manager, will not allow it," Renge announced.
"Kyoya's not coming, the twins went after him and probably won't be coming back, and so therefore there's no way the normal entertaining of guests can be pulled off," Sakura said simply.
"We brought Kyoya back!" Kaoru's voice sang. He and Hikaru appeared at the door, dragging a clearly dissatisfied Kyoya behind them.
"Well then," Haruhi said.
"Kyoya!" Sakura exclaimed before suddenly rushing forward and wrapping her arms around the tall, thin boy's waist. His eyes widened behind his glasses in surprise for one brief moment before he rather awkwardly reciprocated the gesture.
"Aw, she's so cute when she's affectionate!" Tamaki cried in delight. Haruhi gave him a strange look.
"Actually, she's cute all the time," she replied with an eyebrow raised.
"And she looks exactly like you," Tamaki ignored Haruhi's flat comment. "Maybe you'll be even cuter when you're affectionate. Hmm…"
"Don't be getting any ideas into your head, sempai," Haruhi slapped him upside the head while rolling her eyes. Tamaki whimpered before rubbing his sore head.
"Whoa, I didn't expect this outta her kind," Hikaru said in astonishment.
"Sakura-chan has a soft side after all," Honey remarked. "She must really like Kyo-chan."
"She's just that kind of person," Mori answered. "She's always the one to help others in need and has a good heart under her rough exterior. Sensitive under the toughness."
That was the most Mori had spoken in days.
"You think so?" Honey looked up with a sweet smile. Mori nodded.
"Yeah."
Kyoya let go, mentally scolding himself for displaying such emotion in public.
"It's okay, Kyoya. It'll be okay," Sakura gave him a small smile, looking up into his stormy eyes. Kyoya's eyes widened as he gasped, throwing himself down memory lane…
"Minako?" a younger Kyoya peeked into the hospital room. "Wh-what happened? What happened to Mina?"
"Kyoya," the stern visage of his father quieted the boy. "Please take a seat."
"Kyo-chan…" the pale-faced girl with huge, dark eyes breathed from the bed. She extended one shaking hand and grabbed Kyoya's hand. "Stay here."
"Do not overexert yourself with speech, my child," the doctor said gently. "Mr. Ootori, is there anything else I could possibly do for your family?"
"No, thank you very much, doctor, but we wish to be left with our girl now," Mr. Ootori said calmly.
"Understood," the doctor left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.
"Mina…" Kyoya breathed. Behind his glasses, his grayish eyes were wide in fear.
"It is time for us to say our goodbyes," Mr. Ootori said gravely. Minako's dark eyes pulsated with fear as she let out a whimper.
"I-I don't want to die," she whispered.
"You will finally be with the mother you never had, my dear," Mr. Ootori said gently. "You will not be alone."
"I don't want to leave," a tear ran down her cheek.
"I-It's not fair!" Kyoya burst out.
"Kyoya!" his eldest brother shot him a reprimanding look. "Minako needs peace and quiet in her final moments."
"Don't talk about her like she's dying," Kyoya hissed.
"There is nothing left for us to do," his second brother said dully.
"Kyoya, come here," his college-student sister said softly, drawing the shaken boy towards her. He felt a single tear slip down his face, splashing onto his pressed shirt.
"Kyoya, you must not behave in such an abominable manner," his father said severely.
"Please…don't yell at him," Minako's voice shook. The entire family crowded around her hospital bed. The eldest girl was already weeping, and the two older boys held their heads down in shame of their tear-filled eyes.
"Kyoya?" Minako asked in a small voice. Kyoya hurried to her side, gazing down at the frail form of his beloved little sister. She had wasted away right before his eyes.
The two had always been close. As the youngest of the family, they were often brushed off. Maidservants were impatient with them, the older ones were always busy with books, and their father never seemed to have time for his children. And so they found solace in each other, playing and studying together. But Minako's health had always been delicate. Her birth had been a complicated, terrifyingly difficult process that cost the Ootori family a life. From then on, it seemed as though a shadow had been cast over this little girl. Without the care of a mother, she grew up in the hands of servants who could not provide the love she needed. The father couldn't bear the sight of the girl, who looked too much like his much-loved wife. For the first few years of her life, he ignored her completely. Not only was she emotionally underfed, but there was no one to care for her diligently. And so from the beginning, her health had suffered.
"Remember the day when we lost our kites?" Minako gave Kyoya a tiny smile. A scintilla of light flickered in her now clouded eyes. Kyoya felt a grin growing on his face as well.
"And we tried to make new ones out of construction paper so the housekeeper wouldn't get angry with us," Kyoya added.
"For losing our new kites," Minako finished. "And remember when we hid under the table at one of Father's big business banquets and got found by the maid bringing duck stew?"
"To be more exact, it was the little dog that always followed her who found us," Kyoya adjusted his glasses. "But that was so much fun."
"Thank you, Kyoya," Minako said slowly. Her breathing was becoming labored with each passing second. "You were the greatest big brother anyone could want."
"Don't worry, Mina," Kyoya tried to keep his voice from trembling. "You'll be fine. I…I promise."
"You will be in good hands, Minako," their father added. "Do not fear the passing, my child."
"I'll be fine, Father," Mina gasped. "I-I love all of you. But I'm worried."
"You have nothing to worry about, sweetie," the oldest girl said through her sobs.
"I'm worried that Kyoya will become like the rest of you grown men," Minako said bluntly. "Cold, hard, selfish, pride-ish, and only worried about money. He doesn't have a mother to raise him right."
"You were always the direct one, weren't you?" the eldest boy said through gritted teeth. Minako gave him a sweet smile. She then turned to Kyoya.
"Be careful, won't you?" she whispered. "Don't be like them. You can be so much more. Happy. Alive."
"I'll be okay," Kyoya said.
"It's okay, Kyoya. It'll be okay," Minako assured him with that pretty little smile she often wore. At that moment, her heart gave out. With a short gasp, she died, her eyelids fluttering shut and her hand falling to the snow-white sheets of the hospital bed.
"Earth to Kyoya," Hikaru said, waving a hand before the older boy's face. With a small grunt, the glasses-wearing vice president snapped out of his trance, shaking his head to clear it of the painful thoughts.
"Mina," he whispered before cursing under his breath.
"Kyoya-sempai, do you need anything?" Haruhi questioned.
"I…" for the first time, the Host Club saw Kyoya Ootori looking lost and bewildered. He ran a hand through his neatly combed black hair, mussing it in a way that would have caused the twins to laugh had the situation not been so grave.
"We're all here for you, old friend," Tamaki said gently. "It's okay."
"Sakura, you have an uncanny similarity to my deceased sister," Kyoya said slowly. He readjusted his glasses for the fifth time before lifting his gaze to each person in the room. "We must change our outfits and open the doors to our guests. This discussion can wait for another day."
With that remark, he stalked to a large closet in the corner and promptly locked himself in it.
"I thought the boss was the only one who locked himself in closets," Hikaru commented.
"To grow mushrooms and build hamster houses," Kaoru echoed. Tamaki glared at the two twins, who merely ignored him.
"Do any of us really want to know what Kyoya's going to do in there?" Sakura wondered aloud.
"Don't even go there," the others deadpanned.
"If he's building a hamster house, I'm gonna kill him," Tamaki growled. "That's my job!"
"This is probably why Sakura thinks you're a transgender with a dildo, boss," Kaoru remarked. Hikaru nodded in agreement.
"Are you two moronic doppelgangers questioning my sex now?" Tamaki shouted.
"With the way you act, whether you're male or female is often pretty questionable," Hikaru shrugged.
"Takashi, is Tama-chan a boy or a girl?" Honey turned to the third-year student.
"Dunno," Mori shrugged. "Maybe both."
"And one more thing," Sakura added, choosing to ignore the now heated debate about Tamaki's gender. She turned to her older sister and looked her up and down. "Why, again, are you in a boy's uniform?"
"Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to grow a new variety of fungi in here to line the hamster habitat," a darker Kyoya, dripping with phosphoric bacteria and undead mushrooms, called from the closet before slamming the door shut.
"Kyoya, I'm gonna kill you!" Tamaki shouted, tearing at his hair in agony.
"Oh, God, what am I gonna do with all of you?" Haruhi brought a hand to her forehead in exhaustion.
A/N: Please review, no flames will be taken into consideration. Thanks!