Author Note: This is one of our mixed one shots, silly and serious. Our characters WILL actually be doing something similar to this work, but the beginning of our serious story may or may not start like this. Please excuse our blatant character development stages.

Summary: This is PG-13 for lots of explosions and Alien death and FOWL LANGUAGE. Wait, what? Foul. FOUL language. There we go. This one shot shows what the main HUMAN characters' lives are like. What they do, how they do it and why. Enjoy and please review! Anonymous reviews are welcome!

Red Herrings

We had come to Earth to hunt the Kainde Amedha. They were roving everywhere and being able to stalk such packs, larger than any seen before was, indeed, a challenge. However, we had other motives for coming to this tiny planet. The Pyode Amedha were dying out, ravaged by the Kainde Amedha. We had been sent, along with others, to clean up the mess, to keep one prey species from destroying another. It would be a shame to lose one of our more prized species to neglect.

Tvrtko and I had just landed, eager to seek out the Kainde Amedha. It was our first time hunting in an area with Oomans. We had been Blooded not long ago and we had chosen each other, as usual, for hunting partners. We had landed in a cold zone, despite orders, due to an exterior camera spotting a massive horde of Kainde Amedha flocking in an abnormal pattern.

Shortly after landing, while preparing to scout the area, we began hearing strange, hideously loud noises. We finished adjusting our gear and ensuring the safety of our ship before investigating the source of the uproar. Reaching a vantage point, we surveyed the plain laid out before us. A small dot was tearing across the open land, kicking up a wave of dust, and closely followed by an ever growing throng of Kainde Amedha.

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"LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!"

The stereos blared out the music, full volume, into the wasteland around it. Maniacal laughter spilled from the driver's lips as she let loose with her chosen firearm of the day at an approaching Alien. Green eyes glowed with a decidedly twisted glee from behind a pair of cracked and abused glasses. Teeth bared in a feral grin, she pulled her arm back into the careening vehicle, pulling a quick U-turn to slam into the dazed Alien with the reinforced bumper.

Wheeling back around, her hair, freed from its pigtails, flew wildly about her tanned and scarred face. She hit the gas violently, giving the minivan a huge speed surge, before sparing a glance to her cohort in the passenger side.

"How's your car sickness, doll face?" she screamed over the wind and music. Her companion, looking distinctly infuriated and ill, shot a glare her way, before poking her head up through the sun roof and launching a barrage of fire from her semi-automatic rifle.

Sitting back down, she reloaded her weapon with a fresh magazine, snapping at the deranged speeder. "Marie… Could you PLEASE just TRY to drive in a STRAIGHT LINE? Goners is NOT a ballerina!"

The carsick passenger rolled her blue eyes, raking her fingers through her short hair. The cropped cut waved wildly, unwilling to be tamed. Blowing out a frustrated sigh, the trim woman patted her grumbling stomach and prepared to open fire once more.

Marie just grinned again, patting the dash of the van, before slamming on the gas once again. "Now, now, Evie, you KNOW these are luring and distraction jobs. I HAVE to do crazy maneuvers to bring the evil spiders in!"

"Xenomorphs, darling. XENOMORPHS."

"Piffle. They are CLEARLY evil spiders. I TOLD you they were out to get me!"

The inane conversation was abruptly ended when an Alien decided to pounce on the front of the car from its chosen hidey hole in the cliff face. Marie shrieked and proceeded to yank the wheel as far to the left as possible, using the Alien's own momentum against it to fling it from the hood. As soon as the Alien was safely flung away, Marie took off again, ensuring more distance between the two women and the massive amounts of Aliens behind them.

Gazing at the long scratches now decorating her car, Marie began to wail. "My BABY! Oh, Goners, my sweetie, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to let the mean spiders get you! Forgive me! I'll get you all fixed up after this job!"

The sobbing tirade was cut short when Evie, one hand clutching her heaving chest, reached out and smacked Marie upside the head. "DON'T. DO. THAT. AGAIN."

Marie grinned sheepishly, apologizing to her irate partner. Evie took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. "It's fine. Let's just get to our drop spot and take care of this lot, all right? And PLEASE. No more racecar moves. This thing drives like a tank."

The two continued their bumpy trek, passing by a large mound of charred rubble. A few of the Aliens following the vehicle peeled off and ran back up the cliffs, and Marie scowled darkly. "Eeeeeviieeee…. This isn't going to work for much longer. Even the noob aliens are figuring it out. We need to think of something else."

"Well, we don't have many other options. When we get back we'll try and make some new plans. Let's talk to Marv when we go back North. He's always got a new idea or two we can use."

Marie nodded, far more focused now on ensuring the maximum number of Aliens followed them, as well as watching the time. The two shot into another segment of cliffs, the masses of Aliens following their raucous trail.

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Dho'mago'te was enjoying watching this idiocy far too much. Those Oomans would never escape from the situation they'd gotten themselves into. Only true fools made that much noise when trying to flee. I shook my head at the impending massacre, wondering how an Ooman could EVER be considered worthy prey, much less something worth saving.

We watched them veer into a canyon, the hundred odd Kainde Amedha following close behind. I had been about to tell my larger partner that we should go, when an explosion rocked the landscape, sending us both into a defensive crouch. Dust, ash and smoke soared into the sky and we surveyed the wreckage in front of us.

Out of the middle of the cloud of debris came the Ooman's land machine, finally silent. The canyon behind them had collapsed in on itself, burying the vast majority of the Kainde Amedha in the tons of rock. A few were scurrying away, some injured, some having been fast enough to slip away before the detonation.

Dho'mago'te was laughing, telling me that he KNEW I had the funniest look on my face, underneath my mask. I scowled behind the metal, attempting to figure out when Oomans had started behaving in such an abnormal manner. I was fairly certain that acting as living bait was out of the norm for most species. The sane ones, anyway.

My partner was still going on about how fun the Oomans seemed to be, and that we HAD to try to use their plan of attack at some point. I was more than ready to head to our intended territory, but Dho'mago'te kept insisting that we just HAD to follow the Ooman warriors, that they clearly constituted worthy prey.

I was sorely tempted to see what else the Oomans had up their sleeves, but we had orders. I turned on my heel, telling Dho'mago'te that we couldn't stay, that we had already disobeyed direct orders from our superiors. If he hadn't been wearing his mask, I'm sure I would have seen him frowning in disappointment.

"But, Tvrtkooo… There are LOTS of good opponents here. And nobody is OFFICIALLY assigned to THIS part of the cold zone… We're not poaching any trophies! Can't we stay, just for a little bit? A few days, then we'll go! Nobody needs to know we took a side trip."

I pondered this. It was true, I wanted to follow the Ooman warriors just as badly as Dho'mago'te did. And no one would miss us for a few days more. But, I was concerned about disobeying. I was already watched carefully, I wasn't sure I wanted to risk further scrutiny.

I was distracted by my partner making a gleeful howl as the Oomans lit off a light, lighting the darkening sky with green sparks, creating a signal of some kind. As the prey continued on their journey, oblivious to us, Dho'mago'te looked at me, then back to the swiftly disappearing Oomans, before taking off at a brisk jog after them, activating his cloaking device and vanishing into the dusk.

I considered yelling after him, telling him that we had to go, but I just sighed and took off after him. Dho'mago'te was not known for following orders to the letter, particularly when his curiosity had been aroused. Starting up my own shield, I wondered to myself if this stop would be worth the potential harm.